awkwardlyanxiousnightowl-blog

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“Somebody inside of me has always tried, with all his strength, to be nobody.”

— Albert Camus, from a notebook entry featured in Notebooks (1951-1959)

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"It's okay if all you did today was survive."

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“The books we love, they love us back. And just as we mark our places in the pages, those pages leave their marks on us. I can see it in you, sure as I see it in me. You’re a daughter of the words. A girl with a story to tell.” ― Jay Kristoff, Nevernight

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Sometimes things happen that can have such a big impact on our life. Sometimes we don’t even know if we can get through it. Some things seem to take everything we build away but I promise you that it will end. Every day comes to an end. Tomorrow is a new day. If today was a bad day remember today will end and tomorrow is a new day.💜 Hold on and it will get better I promise. -Jason

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a helpful overview about anxiety

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Everything about Social Anxiety Disorder:

https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/what-is-social-anxiety

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If I say, “My foot slips,” Your mercy, O LORD, will hold me up. In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul.

Psalm 94:18-19 (NKJV)

The Lord is my refuge. 💖

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This is very important to know when you are healing or helping somebody heal. Everybody heals at their own speed. Don’t rush somebody into something they are not ready for.

When I’m healing, I hate being rushed or told it isn’t happening fast enough. We all have a different mind. We have our own ways of getting through things.

When you are healing of a bad moment, you want the people around you to be loving and supportive. Treat people the way you want to be treated otherwise they won’t come to you anymore.

If you are supportive and loving, they will love you more than anything on the world. They will want to be with you because they feel safe. They will be ready faster when they feel safe💜

-Jason

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Social phobia : These ghosts, like people, are scary. It’s like they keep judging you, keep laughing at you and make you feel paranoid. But, in reality, they don’t.

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Cafe latte ice cream and a book for tonight. 👅

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I'm trying not to care too much but I can't help it.

I'm trying so hard to feel, act, and be normal but I just can't.

I'm trying. I'm trying so hard, I swear. 😥

9839) I'm so tired of people invalidating my social anxiety like I go through so much stuff.. It's not just a fear in public it also scares me to post on social media, I'm afraid to text/Snapchat people, I don't tell anyone anything (I'm always dealing with my issues by myself because too scared to tell someone) I feel different, I'm insecure, I care about other peoples opinions more than myself, like it's literal hell :(

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📖☕️

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The Manila International Book Fair is the biggest and longest running book fair in the country. It is an annual event that many Filipinos are dying to go to every time. For this year, it was held on September 13-17, 2017 (Wednesday to Sunday). Since we have no classes every Wednesday, I have agreed to meet two of my best friends in Pasay City. We first went to SM Mall of Asia then ate some yogurt at Yo! Panda. We only had a few hours because Jannah, one of the two, needed to travel back to Batangas that same afternoon. After she left, Liebert and I went to the SMX Convention Center fo the book fair. Being the socially anxious girl that I am, I didn't want to go in at first because I knew that there would be a lot of people there. However, that feeling disappeared when I saw the stacks of books displayed on tables and shelves. (That GIF represents my excitement every single time I see books and other stuff that I like.) There were also different stalls for different brands and publishers. Oh, it was a paradise for every book lover like me! I don't if it's just me being crazy but I heard angels singing in my head. (LOL) I saw the books I have planned to buy and more. But since it was getting late already and I didn't want to buy books in a rush, I decided not to buy some books yet and just go back on Sunday. On Sunday, like what I planned, I went back to the book fair. This time, I was with my older sister and a cousin. When we got there, there was this loooong line to the entrance. Thankfully, it moved faster than I thought it would. By three o' clock in the afternoon, we were inside the paradise again. Since it was last day of the fair, there were more people inside and it is very crowded. I first went to the National Bookstore but the books I've been planning to buy were out of stock already. IT WAS HEARTBREAKING! So I tried to distract myself by looking at other books I might like. I also went to Fully Booked to see if the books I like were there. AND THEY WERE THERE. AND MORE BOOKS I LIKE 💖 The bad news is that I only have 2000 pesos with me. (Because the matakaw girl that I am keeps on spending my ipon for food. My love for food > my love for books, it seems 😩💓) Eventhough all the books are 20% off already, my budget is only enough to buy 4 to 6 books (depends on the prices of the books you'd want to buy). I planned to buy the sequel to the books I already own and to buy newstories to read. I also planned to buy a gift for Liebert whose birthday is on September 23. Also, I planned to buy a bible but the real good ones are just so expensive. I held as many books as I can in my arms but when the time for payment came, I needed to let go of some. No, I let go of most of the books I was holding. It was torture; knowing that as much as I wanted to buy all of it, I just can't. I. Just. Can't. 😭💔 So with this, I ended up buying 4 books only. Three for me and one for a friend. The journey did not end there. After buying books, we went to the second floor where we found different stalls exhibiting different stuff like Harry Potter, Star Wars, etc. which my older sister loves so much. There was also a stall for Blind Dates with a Book. Too bad we came in late. They were already closed. (Another Heartbreak). We roamed a bit more then Jon Snow (from Game of Thrones) and The Flash came to save my day. They were cosplayers who were very kind to let us take a picture with them. I was lowkey hoping that they were Kit Harrington and Grant Gustin but still, they made my day. 😊 (Fun fact: I didn't know I was allowed to enter here last year when I went to the fair for the first time.) Lesson Learned: It's better to buy books on the first day; Visit the exhibits earlier; EARN MORE MONEY (stop spending so much on food) 😅 Overall, it was a tiring but fun-filled day. My heart is so full. I will surely go to this event again next year. 💞

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My love for books was written in the stars.

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“Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.” ― Charles William Eliot

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You mask the bitterness and add taste to my bland life.

You’re the creamer to my coffee.

- My inner thoughts