awkwardlancer
awkwardlancer
Jonathas Abrahame
271 posts
Character blog || FFXIV || Balmung
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awkwardlancer · 6 years ago
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You showed me love was all you needed but heaven couldn’t wait for you
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awkwardlancer · 8 years ago
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how do you kill a monster when it lives inside your head? 
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awkwardlancer · 8 years ago
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Send ⚠ and a name, and i will make a bad presentation slide about that muse
Be it yours or mine.
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awkwardlancer · 8 years ago
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mid life crisis ? no no, mid DAY crisis. happens every day
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awkwardlancer · 8 years ago
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awkwardlancer · 8 years ago
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{ Put a rumour about my muse in my inbox and my character will react to it }
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awkwardlancer · 8 years ago
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[Samurai] instructor RP contact needed
So! Despite my initial reluctance to play SAM, I decided to unlock it today. Naturally, due to my Sheer Power of Will™ I was able to overcome my urges to include it as an IC aspect of my character, regardless of how much I lvoed it as a concep–
…Alright, whom am I kidding. I’m on the weeb train, and I’m not even sorry.
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‘Introductions’ aside, I am looking to delve into this class from an RP aspect as well.
Rhotdornn is, without mistake, a man of many crafts–but his primary knowledge revolves around blades. The Bladereaver is a title which he bears (and certain posts of mine here are tagged with it) because, canonically, he possesses a very large fount of expertise with blades–not clubs, not axes, but strictly swords of (m)any kind(s).
However, the katana is far too Eastern for him to understand at a deeper level–he can but wield it on a basic, maybe average level. Be that as it may, he does not have any inkling about its symbolic value, how to best utilize it, or how to handle it to max efficiency–not past some guesstimates, anyhow.
So, tl;dr
I’m looking for someone with a character willing to mentor Lion in the arts of the Samurai. Preferably not on Eorzean soil, but it can be arranged, of course. Time for the mentor to get mentored, for once. Being a pupil would certainly prove interesting, with a turn of tables.
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Any signal boosting is appreciated! If you’d like more info, don’t hesitate to contact me on tumblr, in game, Discord and the likes.
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awkwardlancer · 8 years ago
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awkwardlancer · 8 years ago
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Please reblog with a ffxiv pun! :D
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awkwardlancer · 8 years ago
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Copper Opi.
Made up some time ago for a customer if I recall it was a high carbon Opinel 10 blade etched and stonewashed in a hammer hardened  copper higonokami style .
 Custom knives , sheaths and gear from [email protected]
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awkwardlancer · 8 years ago
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“DAMN.” Questions for Muses.
BLOOD. -What types of injuries has your muse sustained? What was the worst? 
DNA. -What was your muses home life like?
YAH. -Something your muse agrees on 100% of the time.
ELEMENT. -What is your muse “made of”, what is their character like? Courageous, loving, scared, etc.
FEEL. -How does your character react to a persons touch? A random stranger’s? A loved one’s? A friend’s?
LOYALTY. -Does your character have any loyalty to any group?
PRIDE. -What is your muses biggest flaw?
HUMBLE. -How does your muse handle praise?
LUST. -Who does your muse find attractive?
LOVE. -Does your muse have a “special someone”
XXX. -What’s the raunchiest thing your muse has ever done?
FEAR. -What are your muses biggest fears?
GOD. -Does your muse believe in a god? If so, describe it.
DUCKWORTH. -Has your muse ever thought about committing or committed a crime?
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awkwardlancer · 8 years ago
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I GOTST A NEW OC
Please mosey over to @tinkertinkerlittlestar to chill with my other (currently more active) OC, Percival Quentin, also of Balmung!
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awkwardlancer · 8 years ago
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Shout-out to all those OCs who...
- Barely get 5 notes
- Rarely, if any, receive an Ask
- Don’t hit/focus on any of the traits that are popular
Stay true to what you’ve created. 
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awkwardlancer · 8 years ago
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All the Balmung ladies All the Balmung ladies All the Balmung ladies Now put your hands up
Character hub, the Ul'dah pub Emotin’ my own flirty thing You mouse-over, click, make sure there ain’t a dick Cause that shit don’t match your fantasy
Your whisper comes, “U want sum fuk?” Ain’t paying -that- any attention Cause I’m just not here to ride your spear Don’t care if you’re lonely
‘Cause if you liked it, then you should have asked IC for it If you liked it, then you should have asked IC for it Don’t be mad that I won’t take gil for it If you liked it, then you should have asked IC for it Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
I got cute glams equipped, a drink in my grip Got others in this roleplay scene Got gpose up, zoomed close up I can care less what you think
Now you show aggression, condescension? Ain’t payin -that- any attention If it’s me you wanna earn, then you gotta learn Character development is key
If you liked it, then you should have asked IC for it If you liked it, then you should have asked IC for it Don’t be mad that I won’t take gil for it If you liked it, then you should have asked IC for it Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
[apologies to Beyonce… and pretty much everyone else too]
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awkwardlancer · 8 years ago
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Basilica di San Pietro, Vaticano
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awkwardlancer · 8 years ago
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HOW TO HONOR/DISAPPOINT YOUR MOTHER
It’s the time of year to celebrate and honor your mother even more than you’d already best be doing, and whereas before I was so naive as to think I could trust the masses to recognize how to properly honor their parents I am now smart enough to recognize that you’re all idiots with no idea what you’re doing. Fortunately, I’m here to write this helpful guide for you to read and obey to the letter on pain of spontaneous immolation.
If you think you can get away with disrespecting your mother, then you’d best be ready to fight to the death. You had better either learn to love them or you must surpass them and kill them yourself, establishing your supremacy.
RELIGION:
Religious duties are a cornerstone of a good life, and it’s absolutely vital that you attend to them with expediency and efficiency. If you humiliate your mother in the eyes of the Gods then she’s legally within her rights to sever a limb for each offense, provided she pays the tax.
DO: 
ATTEND THE CEREMONIES YOU’RE EXPECTED TO ATTEND: This is a no-brainer! All you have to do is what you have to do. Pay attention to what you’re told, say the prayers correctly and you’ll be fine.
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PAY APPROPRIATE HOMAGE TO THE GODS: The Gods are far greater than you could ever hope to be, and if you ever forget it they will rain the Hells upon you and anyone even remotely connected to you. Remember to venerate Them always.
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RESPECT THE WORDS OF THE CLERGY: No one achieves a position within the Church of Nald’Thal who doesn’t have money and therefore the direct blessing of Nald, and further they must kill the enemies of the church as Thal wishes. They know better than you how to venerate the Gods, and by betraying their words you betray us all.
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DO NOT:
ARRIVE TWENTY MINUTES LATE WITH A HANGOVER AND NO PANTS: No one needs to know what you were doing last night, idiot, and no one’s going to ask! Cover yourself!
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STEAL FROM THE COLLECTIONS BOX: The only reason we didn’t burn you at the stake was that you were three and we still had to pay reparation. You idiot. You worthless buffoon. We should’ve known to disown you then and there.
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VOMIT ON YOUR GRANDFATHER’S GRAVE: I regret to this day I didn’t bury you in it, and the only reason I didn’t is that his spirit would hate that his body was locked in with something more useless than aldgoat gristle.
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DINNER PARTIES:
DO: 
WEAR APPROPRIATE ATTIRE WITH NO LESS THAN THE ACCEPTED MINIMUM AMOUNT OF BLACK: Black is an important color and will make your mother proud, so long as you keep it clean at all times and present it properly.
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BE APPROPRIATELY COLD AND ALOOF WHILE STILL ENTICING THE LESSER MORTALS AROUND YOU TO WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT YOU, THUS MAKING THEM EASIER TO ENSLAVE: You can’t open up emotionally at the drop of a hat, or you won’t be nearly as interesting. Don’t let anyone into your heart or your mother will gnash her teeth in frustration seeing the wretch she raised.
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BE READY AT ALL TIMES IN THE EVENT OF AN ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT: This is obvious. Assassins can come at any time, and if you fail to defend yourself your mother will only blame herself for failing to raise a smart child. Do you really wish to inflict that upon her?
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DO NOT:
SLOVENLY HIT ON THE FIRST WOMAN YOU SEE: You’re an overemotional disgrace who thinks with his groin rather than his brain and your father would have been terribly disappointed to see you now.
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ESPECIALLY IF SHE’S A POWERFUL SPELLCASTER: It’s not as if it’s difficult to tell! Got a staff? Then she CASTS SPELLS! It’s simple! It’s easy! I taught you much better than that you imbecile!
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ESPECIALLY IF SHE’S YOUR AUNT: Do you have ANY IDEA how much money we spent to get Lulu to come visit us? You ruined that vacation for the girls - you know, my REAL children.
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GETTING A PROPER JOB
DO:
SELECT SOMETHING BETTER THAN WORKING FOR A SHITTY TABLOID: No mother wants to know that her children, those she invested so much into, are so worthless the best job they can get is to be an errand boy for a trash rag unfit to wipe the blood from your hands.
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MAKE SURE IT’S A JOB THAT WOULDN’T MAKE YOUR FATHER ROLL OVER IN HIS GRAVE: If you’re a stuck as a stablehand for life, you really may as well just set yourself on fire and save us all the trouble.
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KILLING THINGS IS A PLUS: Kill beasts for Thal’s glory and we’ll be proud of you.
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DO NOT:
TAKE OUR MONEY AND DRINK IT AWAY: Your father never taught you to act this way, and I most certainly didn’t, so I’m going to blame you entirely you worthless ingrate.
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GET A JOB DOING MANUAL LABOR LIKE A COMMON PEASANT: This is why your sisters disowned you, you midlander trash. You couldn’t even die like your brother and save us the trouble.
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Kagome Voulaizunlezotre wanted to escape the bizarre woman but was too busy being stuck in a hospital bed to do anything but agree to publish this list.
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awkwardlancer · 8 years ago
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Uses of alcohol
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