awanisrahman-blog

[awanisrahman-blog]

Ibn al-Jawzi رحمه الله said:

“If Allāh decrees good for a person, He makes his heart disposed towards accepting sincere advice and guides a voice of admonition to echo in his mind during its period of leisure and inactivity…

However, if Allāh turns away from a person, He throws him into an ocean of heedlessness, so that whenever he opens his eyes he only sees layers upon layers of darkness, one on top of the other.”

• Kitaab Al-Lataa’if Fil-Waa’iz | Pg. 142

[awanisrahman-blog]

My circle of friends quite big. But, I don’t have one I can go to when things go haywire for me.

[awanisrahman-blog]

‎Ibn Al-Qayyim رحمه الله said:

‎“Everything around you is a witness for you, when you engage in the remembrance of Allah. The land, the mountains and the ground will testify for you on the day of judgment. Increase those witnesses for yourself for that day”

‎[الوابل الصيب - ٨١]

[awanisrahman-blog]

اللّهُـمَّ إِنِّـي أَعـوذُ بِكَ أَنْ أَضِـلَّ أَوْ أُضَـل ، أَوْ أَزِلَّ أَوْ أُزَل ، أَوْ أَظْلِـمَ أَوْ أَُظْلَـم ، أَوْ أَجْهَلَ أَوْ يُـجْهَلَ عَلَـي��

O Allah, I seek refuge in You lest I misguide others , or I am misguided by others , lest I cause others to err or I am caused to err , lest I abuse others or be abused, and lest I behave foolishly or meet with the foolishness of others.

[awanisrahman-blog]

يا حَـيُّ يا قَي��ـومُ بِـرَحْمَـتِكِ أَسْتَـغـيث ، أَصْلِـحْ لي شَـأْنـي كُلَّـه ، وَلا تَكِلـني إِلى نَفْـسي طَـرْفَةَ عَـين

O Ever-Living One, O Eternal One, by Your mercy I call on You to set right all my affairs. Do not place me in charge of my soul even for the blinking of an eye (i.e. a moment).

[awanisrahman-blog]

Ya Allah makes this feeling bearable for me ya Allah.. Aamiin

[awanisrahman-blog]

I still got few photos i purposely keep. My mind keep telling me I need to let go of everything especially him. Things not worked between me and him. 🥲 But my heart does not agree with my concious mind (because I’m confident enough with whatever I’m thinking, for me and him). I really want the best for him. Sincerely..

[awanisrahman-blog]

It’s rare to meet someone who genuinely cares about you and wants the best for your Akhirah

[awanisrahman-blog]

What if actually, i never moved on and still loved you same as before?

You never wonder. You never care.

Right.

If you know how much I try. I try really hard. But this time. It’s not easy.

I will keep trying until I know I really let you go.

But for now, I still love you. I hope and pray I can bear this feeling until I feel nothing.

I hope and pray the best for you. I love you. I miss you, A.

[awanisrahman-blog]

Realizing the feelings is still there. Not moved by an inch.

This feelings too heavy for me to carry. Alone. My mind did understand what is happening. But my heart refused to cooperate. I really trying my best to persuade my heart. But it was hard. Maybe my heart needs more time to heal. And this time, I will make sure I’ll heal properly. Insya Allah…

[awanisrahman-blog]

[awanisrahman-blog]

I would like to write something emotional again today. 😂

I just realized only few days left before I’m going to settle down for good at Klang. I pray that may this decision is the best for me, for my world affairs and my akhirah… aamiin….

[awanisrahman-blog]

I’m going to migrate soon.

The reason behind of this migration; Hoping I will get the serenity I seek, to find my lost self, to become better me with my major support system and to searching my missing pieces.

We plan and Allah’s plan but Allah is the Best planner. Insya Allah I will become better after this. This is not an easy journey for me; insya Allah all will be well, by His will. Aamiin…

[awanisrahman-blog]

This one. Growing stronger than I expected. Keep on growing my dear babies. Hikhik

#succulentsmommy

[awanisrahman-blog]

Have a thought this morning “Maybe I should bring one or two cactus when I’m moving out soon” But myb not 😂

Btw, one of my uni friend reply to one of my ws status today, and she said something like this “Comel la awak ni. Terbayang bayang and rindu awk yg happy go lucky ni” before I continue further this friend of mine is a girl 😅😂 (eventhough I know who cares. Lol. Peduli apa saya, sy nk explain biaq p la 😂).

“Awak yang happy go lucky”. I forgot this one character in me. I also didn’t realized when I’m lost it. Myb bcoz of few difficulties have hit me, and changed me to be more serious in solving my personal problem and work related issue. I don’t know. I only realized I lost myself a lot and now I’m recovering insya Allah…

I pray may I pass any difficulties and calamity by His will and His love towards me.. Aamiin…

[awanisrahman-blog]

[awanisrahman-blog]

Alhamdulillah finally finished reading this book. 😁

Btw, I’m not going to conclude what I’ve got from this book but rather I would like to express how my heart finally hope for something better to happen again.

Basically, few months back I was in state of dark and sorrow. 😅 It was sad everytime I’m trying to remember back how I felt and how much hoped I have in me to keep me going and doing normal activity like normal people. Saya hampir berputus asa pada suatu ketika dulu. Rasa putus asa yang tak pernah saya rasa sebelum ni.

I think it was so hard because everything happened because of me. I am the major reason of what has happened.

Until one day, I told myself “This is not usual you, let’s fix this”. I meet a counsellor. Told my story, my problems and etc. On the first session i feel really relieved. To cut it short, since the session I pushed myself harder to really forgive myself, to accept myself more than anyone else should accept and love me, and to really accept and redha whatever qadr and qada. Alhamdulillah I feel much more better than I was few months back.

Recently, I realized my heart start hoping something good and better would come for me. It has been a long time since I feel like this. I feel like me again after a long time. I’m glad it does not take me years to feel like me and have so much hope on Him like this. Alhamdulillah.

I’m writing like this not because I want to make myself sad and in sorrow again, but next time I’m reading this I would be proud with myself, how much I’m battling inside myself in order to recover.

Ya Allah, please fill in my heart hope and love, the most for You. I really needs You to guide me in all of my affairs.. Please provide and guide me always ya Allah. Aamiin…