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avestigeofformerdays · 2 years ago

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thought the plane was going down (how'd you turn it right around?)

Sophie had been sitting in the same chair for so long she couldn’t feel her legs. But she couldn’t get herself to leave, no matter how much everyone assured her that nothing would change, that Keefe wouldn’t wake up the second she left. She knew that probably wouldn’t happen. She didn’t care. She had to be here when he woke up. And he would wake up, no matter what her overthinking, anxious brain kept suggesting.

He had been unconscious for three days and twelve hours. And eighteen minutes.

Elwin had been checking his vitals frequently, making sure that everything was looking okay, and it was all staying the same. Nothing different, nothing better, nothing worse.

“He still seems fine. Whatever transformation was happening is still going on, but there’s really nothing I can do about that. I think it’s a good idea to stay connected to his mind if you can,” Elwin said. He’d just finished his last check for the night and was getting ready to leave. The first night he’d stayed at Foxfire with her to watch him at night, but given that Keefe seemed to be stable, he’d been going home at night since, leaving Sophie there alone except for Sandor lurking outside the door.

“Yep, I’ve got it,” she said to Elwin as he grabbed his things and headed out. She would’ve kept the telepathic connection open either way, but she didn’t need anyone else to think about that as hard as she had been. She knew that her desperation for Keefe to wake up was a bit more telling about her than she wished. She’d been trying not to think about it for…a while, but since he’d fallen unconscious, all she’d thought about was every moment they’d ever shared together, their window sleepovers, all the times he’d cheered her up, every time he’d brought her back to the ground when her thoughts got ahead of her.

Thinking about how maybe she’d never have another one of those moments.

There was a part of her that couldn’t help but wonder if he’d be different when he woke up. If this time he wouldn’t forgive Sophie for getting him involved in everything with the Black Swan and the Neverseen. His mother may have been the leader of the creepy hooded group, but until Sophie had come along, at least he hadn’t known about it, hadn’t had to deal with the reality of it. He’d been able to handle it the way he handled everything else, by laughing it off.

She couldn’t stop worrying that even if (when, WHEN) he woke up, he wouldn’t want to be around her anymore.

And that scared her more than anything.

Maybe she was being selfish (she knew she was), but she really, really couldn’t deal with him not being in her life. She was realizing more and more how much she needed him. And how she needed him. She hadn’t let herself consider the possibility of feelings for him until he’d been unconscious and she’d realized that maybe she liked him differently than she’d thought. She’d panicked when it first occurred to her, running through every interaction they’d ever had and examining it for flirting, thinking she’d prove that there couldn’t be anything more than friendship there, but all she’d found in her memories of him was a lot of blushing and Keefe saying the things that caused that blush.

Sophie sighed heavily, forcing herself to unfold on her chair and stand up, letting herself avoid sleep for a bit longer.

She walked around the room, stretching and trying to release the tension that had settled firmly into her muscles. After several minutes of wandering around, examining the many elixirs lining the walls and trying not to knock anything important over, she turned back around, staring at the chair that had served as her bed for the past three nights, knowing she should try to sleep. Slowly her eyes drifted over to Keefe, asleep on his bed. She walked over to him, giving herself a moment to sit with him before forcing herself to sleep. She sat on the edge of his bed, lifting his hand and holding it in both of her own.

I just miss you. And I know for a fact you’d be making fun of all the things I’ve realized since you’ve been unconscious. You’d be laughing at how nervous I am. And laughing even more at how much I like you.

She exhaled slowly, leaning back into the pillows he was nestled into. She let herself curl into his side, both her hands intertwined with his right one.

She shuffled in closer to him, her head dropping onto his shoulder gently as her eyes started to slowly fall closed. She had hardly slept at all since staying in Foxfire, despite her parents trying to get her to come home, even just for a night. Nothing they could say could persuade her, though, and she’d been anxiously watching over him every single night, her worry keeping sleep at bay.

But here, curled into his side, she felt safe again. Ever since he’d gone into this coma, she’d realized more and more how much she needed him. Needed him to be safe, needed him to tell her it would be okay, needed him to give her unreasonably good advice for someone who said he wasn’t good with serious stuff, needed his humor to take the edge of terror off of every situation they were in, just needed him. She’d been pushing that away for so long, forcing herself to rethink it and deny it. She didn’t want to need anyone, let alone someone who definitely didn’t need anyone himself. And not to mention everything with Fitz. She was over that enough to not worry about her own feelings, but she couldn’t even imagine how angry Fitz would be if he found out she felt…whatever she felt about Keefe. His best friend.

Sophie sighed, squeezing her eyes shut against the sudden onslaught of worried thoughts. Instead, she burrowed into the blankets and closer to Keefe, the recently acknowledged butterflies igniting in her stomach. She thought faintly of the chair next to her, knowing somewhere in the back of her mind that she’d have to explain herself if someone saw her cuddled up to Keefe. But she couldn’t find it in herself to care as she relaxed for the first time in three days.

Just—please come back, okay? I need you to come back to me, she transmitted softly into his unconscious mind.

I need you.

Sophie woke slowly, her eyes still heavy with sleep as she nuzzled into the warmth of the person next to her. She opened her eyes begrudgingly as she remembered fully where she was. She knew this would only complicate things more for her, that now that she knew how safe she felt curled up next to Keefe, how safe she felt anytime she was around him, she really couldn’t keep ignoring her feelings. She pulled away from him, gently untangling their arms, trying her best not to disturb his sleeping form too much. She pulled back just enough so that she could see his profile, eyes closed almost peacefully, disheveled hair laying on the pillow around him. There was one piece of hair sticking to his temple, the end poking his eyelid, and she couldn’t help herself as she reached forward and gently brushed it off, her hand lingering a moment too long on his cheek as her stomach fluttered wildly.

“That’s…a lot of—emotions,” a hoarse voice said as Keefe’s eyes opened slowly.

Wait. What?

Sophie sat up immediately, pulling back a bit so that she could see Keefe better. Keefe. Who was awake. And looking at her with a sleepy smile.

The stupid butterflies in her stomach started rioting.

“Oh. My—Keefe,” was all she could say, her jaw falling open. Keefe grinned at her misspoken words and she blushed, trying to ignore what she’d said and instead focusing on the fact that he was awake.

He’s awake. He’s okay.

She looked at him for another moment, his ice blue eyes staring right back at her, still smiling gently. She shook her head and lurched forward, wrapping her arms around him as tightly as she possibly could. She hoped she wasn’t suffocating him, but he hugged her back just as tightly, arms a vise grip around her waist.

She buried her head in his shoulder as she felt her eyes sting with tears.

“Are you okay? Do you feel alright?” she asked him, grateful the shaking in her voice was muffled against the fabric of his tunic.

“Yeah, I’m okay, I’m fine, I feel okay,” he whispered. She nodded against him, laughing weakly as a tear finally slipped down her cheek and soaked into the fabric.

Sophie pulled back a bit, only letting go with one arm to quickly wipe her tears away.

“Whoa, whoa, Foster, are you okay?” he asked her. His right arm was still wrapped around her waist and he pulled away just to push himself up a bit before reaching to cradle her cheek and wipe another tear away with his thumb. He had a slightly pained look on his face and she couldn’t stop herself from feeling a bit guilty for worrying him with her tears right after strangling him with a hug. Especially when he’d just woken up from a coma.

“Yeah, no, I’m fine,” she said, exhaling deeply. “I just…it really felt like you were gone this time. I thought I’d really lost you.” She inhaled sharply, trying not to let any more tears fall and instead leaning back in and hugging him again, wrapping her arms tightly around his shoulders. He responded quickly, his hands wrapping around her and pulling her closer to him, his fingers twisting into the fabric of her tunic.

The butterflies were still going at full force, twisting her stomach in knots. It occurred to her that he could probably (definitely) feel everything she was feeling right now, but at the moment she didn’t even care. Because he was finally awake.

Eventually she pulled back, but not without grabbing his hand in both of hers, interlocking their fingers. “You’re sure you’re okay?” she asked.

A smile broke out on his face and he nodded. “I’m fine, I promise. It’s just…weird to see someone cry about…me. But I’m fine!” He glanced down at himself like he was trying to make sure he was telling the truth. He looked back at her, something in his eyes that made her stomach twist up in knots.

She nodded, letting herself breathe for a moment and looking away from the intense look Keefe had in his eyes. She knew that he would ask about her emotions, but she was hoping she could put it off for a little bit, stay in denial even just for a moment longer.

“So…sorry to, like, bring attention to it, but…uh, did you sleep here? And just so I know, did you sleep, like, right here?” Keefe asked, clearly trying to keep his tone light and joking. Even with the effort, there was still an undercurrent of intensity. Cool, so she definitely wasn’t going to get that extra moment of denial.

“Uh, yeah, I—yeah. I slept in that chair the other nights, but—uh, I just. Was worried. I guess.” She looked down at her hands, fighting the urge to pluck out a loose eyelash. She started fidgeting, her fingers tapping against her thigh. Her legs were tucked up under her and she shifted slightly towards the edge of the bed, looking anywhere but at Keefe.

“Hey.” Keefe grabbed both of her hands in his, stopping the anxious fiddling. “It’s okay. I don’t expect…anything from you. Ever.” She couldn’t help but look up at that, meeting his beautiful eyes. His expression was indescribable, hope mixed with resignation and frustration and…something else, something she couldn’t quite name. Her breath caught in her throat.

“It’s not that…I don’t…I just…you were unconscious. And I have had…far too much time to think. And I literally haven’t left this building in, like, three days. So I sort of…kept thinking about what the options were here. And all I could think about was what it would be like if you…” Sophie looked away before finishing the thought. “If you didn’t wake up.” She tightened her grip on his hands, not meeting his gaze.

“Ah,” he said. His voice was a little shaky and he took a deep breath. “That. And...what were you thinking?” Sophie looked up, returning his gaze with what she was sure was an equally intense one.

“I don’t even know how to explain how awful that thought was.” She shuffled slightly closer the him, keeping eye contact as she continued. She could feel even before she finished that he knew where it was going. “It was like…I didn’t realize how much I needed you until you weren’t there anymore.” He looked back at her, that look still impossible to name and causing her stomach to summersault.

Keefe leaned forward the smallest amount, a stutter in the movement like he couldn’t quite decide what he was doing. Sophie couldn’t blame him, not entirely sure what she was doing either.

“I don’t want to assume,” he said, his voice quiet. He didn’t have to finish the sentence. She understood

“You don’t have to assume,” she replied, almost whispering. They were closer than she had thought, just a couple of inches from each other, close enough that she could see all the different shades of blue in his eyes. “We both know I couldn’t hide this from you, even if I wanted to. And I don’t really. Want to. And if you need more…clarity….” She stopped, her voice trailing off as Keefe lifted his hand to cup her face, tilting close enough that she could feel his breath. She leaned into his hand as his thumb gently brushed against her cheek and her stomach swooped, a blush rising up her neck and face and a tiny smile making its way onto her face. She leaned forward, closing the gap between them—

“Okay, Sophie, I think today I need to run a couple more tests—Keefe??” Elwin’s voice echoed in the quiet of the room as Sophie jumped violently and turned sharply so that she was sitting at the very edge of the bed. She felt Keefe shift away from her just as quickly and tried her best not to read into the implications of that, instead focusing on looking like she hadn’t been just about to kiss her just-barely-woke-up-from-a-coma-not-to-mention-best-friend-of-her-sort-of-ex-boyfriend-and-also-pretty-emotionally-unavailable-and-never-serious friend.

“Elwin, GOOD, oh my gosh, yeah, Keefe woke up! I was just about to hail you, sorry, um, yeah!” Sophie scrambled for an excuse as to why she hadn’t immediately called him and came up with nothing. Thankfully, Elwin was far too excited and far too worried to seem to notice anything strange between them. She stood up, getting out of the way as Elwin made a beeline for the bed.

“KEEFE! I’m so glad you’re awake! How are you feeling? Is your heartbeat normal? Are you nauseous? Any headache?” Elwin peppered questions at Keefe as he started flashing colored orbs of light around Keefe’s head, checking over every part of him.

She stood watching as Elwin continued interrogating Keefe about every single symptom he could possibly have. She looked past Elwin and locked eyes with Keefe for a brief, loaded moment before she turned away, huffing out a passing excuse about hailing their friends.

She hailed Fitz, keeping it as short as possible and trying to seem completely normal, and then hailed Dex, briefly explaining that Keefe was awake. Everyone else could wait. She went and sat back in her chair, scooting it a bit away from the bed to give Elwin a bit more room, waiting for her friends to arrive. She watched Elwin flash light at Keefe, observing the whole exam, but all she could think about was the feeling of Keefe’s thumb on her cheek.

She shook her head, forcing the thought away as Elwin turned to her with a look on his face like he was waiting for her to respond to something.

“Sorry, what?” she asked.

“I said ‘are you okay?’” he repeated, his concern evident.

“Oh, yeah, I’m totally fine! Do you need anything?” She stood up quickly, looking around to see if there was anything she could help with.

“Hmmm. You look like you haven’t gotten much sleep lately. Is that right?” he asked. Sophie avoided his gaze, fighting the urge to pull out an itchy eyelash. “That’s what I thought. I’m going to hail your parents, so just sit tight, okay?” Sophie nodded and sat back down in her chair, studying her hands as Elwin took a few steps away and pulled out his imparter. After several moments without talking she finally looked up at Keefe, who was still sitting on his bed, but was now chugging bottles of youth between downing brightly colored elixirs. He made eye contact with her just as he drank a bright orange one and he gagged dramatically.

“That tastes like…I don’t know, but it tastes gross.” He set the empty vial down and opened a new bottle of youth, drinking it as fast as possible.

Sophie huffed out a laugh and looked back down, this time giving up and pulling an eyelash out. Keefe set down the empty bottle. “Hey, so—“ he started, but was immediately interrupted.

“Alright, Keefe,” Elwin said, “Grady and Edaline are on their way. Sophie, you desperately need some sleep, especially sleep not in a chair, and I know that won’t happen here, so you’re going home, whether you like it or not,” he said, walking back over to them. Sophie blushed violently at Elwin accidentally addressing how she had actually slept curled up next to Keefe the night before. And for once she actually had slept pretty well, although apparently not well enough to make up for all the sleep she’d missed before that.

She knew better than to argue with him about going home, so she just nodded and grabbed her imparter and Ella along with the few other things she’d had with her, steadfastly not looking at Keefe. She was already thinking about their almost-kiss enough, she didn’t need to see his expression and make it worse.

Elwin continued his aggressive questioning of Keefe while Sophie waited anxiously for her parents to arrive. Finally Grady and Edaline ran through the door, Edaline immediately rushing to give Keefe a hug while Grady came over and hugged Sophie. She hugged him back, hiding her face in his chest so that he couldn’t guess everything she was thinking. For some reason she was sure he’d somehow know everything that had happened.

“Everything’s okay, Sophie, it’ll be okay,” Grady assured her as she hid in his arms. “Let’s go home, okay?” She nodded against him and pulled back only to be tugged into a hug by Edaline. She leaned into her mom’s hug, grateful they were here partly just so she could have an excuse to think of something other than her moment with Keefe.

“I’m so glad he’s awake,” she whispered to Edaline.

“Me too,” Edaline said. There was something in her voice that gave Sophie the sense that she knew more than she was saying, that she knew the much more complex meaning of the few words Sophie had said. “Me too.”

They light-leaped home and although she’d been more than willing to stay at Foxfire with Keefe, she was very grateful to be back. She sat in the kitchen with her parents and ate mallow melt and custard bursts before going up to her room and petting a very disgruntled Iggy. The little imp had clearly been angry with her for being gone. “Sorry, little guy. I had to,” she said apologetically, scratching under his chin and behind his purple-dyed ears. He purred loudly, apparently forgiving her.

She took a scalding hot shower, relieved to finally be back in her room and to finally be able to change out of the clothes she’d been wearing for three days. She pulled on her most comfortable clothes, knowing her parents wouldn’t be letting her out of Havenfield again that day. It was probably for the better. She really was sleep-deprived. She sent Silveny a message, asking her for her best sleep-inducing and soothing images so that she could actually sleep. Soon enough her head was filled with calming visuals of flying through the sky and running with the alicorn through meadows. She breathed deeply, letting the transmissions help her to sleep.

She spent the rest of the day going back and forth between sleeping and thinking about Keefe and their almost-kiss, finally waking up the next day and talking to her parents about when she’d be able to go see Keefe again. Grady told her that Elwin had hailed them in the evening and told them that Keefe would have to stay in the healing center for a few more days, so if Sophie wanted to visit him, that’s where she’d have to go.

“So, when can I go see him again?” she asked, bouncing on her toes in the kitchen as she waited for their answer.

“We can go as soon as you’re ready. Apparently he’s been feeling everyone’s emotions without even touching them, though, and we know how strong your emotions are, so I’m not sure how long he’ll be able to have visitors,” Edaline explained. Sophie felt her heart drop. Had she made his recovery slower by overwhelming him immediately when he’d woken up?

Edaline ushered Sophie back up to her room so she could get ready, and she was grateful for the nudge. She felt like maybe she wouldn’t have moved if she hadn’t been told to.

Once she got up to her room she deliberated for an embarrassingly long time before she chose a simple but beautiful red tunic and a pair of black leggings. Every few moments she caught her thoughts drifting back to Keefe. She could barely believe he was awake, let alone that they’d almost kissed. She’d been so sure that he couldn’t possibly have feelings for her. But judging from...everything that had happened since he’d woken up, maybe she’d misjudged. Maybe he liked her like she liked him.

But then there was the way he’d flinched away when Elwin had come in. Although, she had too. But she couldn’t help but think that he’d thought it was a mistake and hadn’t wanted anyone to think that it could even be a possibility.

This is so stupid.

She got dressed and looked in the mirror, trying to get her hair to lay the way she wanted it to. Vertina appeared in the corner and complimented her for once, but not before telling her she could use something to cover the dark circles under her eyes. Sophie smiled sarcastically and stepped out of the mirror’s view. She stepped over to the other mirror in the room, grateful she had one non-programmed mirror so that she could put a tiny bit of makeup under her eyes to hopefully disguise her lack of sleep. She added a tiny bit of shimmery eyeshadow, repeatedly telling herself she’d have done this no matter where she was going, even though she really wasn’t fooling anyone., especially not herself.

Once Sophie was finally ready, she ran back downstairs, ready to go. Grady and Edaline were insisting they go too, saying that they hadn’t spent enough time with her for the past few days. She couldn’t argue with that. Still, she hoped that while she was there she’d be able to talk to Keefe alone. Any maybe…

No. She couldn’t let herself hope. That had only ever turned out badly for her. No reason it should be different this time.

They leaped to Foxfire and went directly to the healing center, waiting outside when they heard to voice of Lord Cassius, Keefe’s father, inside. Soon he stepped out, greeting them curtly before leaping away. As they went in, Grady and Edaline shared a look between them that Sophie couldn’t be bothered to try to figure out. She was far too busy being absolutely consumed by the nervousness swirling in her chest as she saw Keefe again.

He was sitting on his bed and he’d apparently been able to get up and shower and change, judging from how his hair was back to its usual messed-up-on-purpose style and the fact that he was in a different outfit. He was wearing a simple blue tunic with dark gray pants and he was sitting cross-legged on top of his blanket, his arms crossed over his chest. He looked upset, probably from whatever conversation he’d just had with his dad. But his body language changed immediately when he noticed Sophie walking in, going from being curled in and almost timid to his usual confident self. He looked over and made eye contact with her, a tentative smile taking over his face. Warmth crept up her cheeks and she smiled back, her nerves running wild in her stomach. She immediately felt guilty, knowing she was probably already overwhelming him with her even-more-intense-than-usual emotions.

Grady and Edaline rushed forward, asking Keefe questions and telling him things that Sophie knew she should probably be embarrassed about, but couldn’t get herself to listen to. She was far too busy forcing herself to breathe slowly to try to get her nerves and speeding heartbeat under control. She hovered near the edge of the room, not wanting to get any closer for Keefe’s sake.

“Sophie, aren’t you going to come over here and talk to Keefe?” Edaline said, gesturing invitingly into the room.

“I, uh, don’t want to overwhelm him—you—with my—emotions,” she scrambled, looking back and forth between her mother and Keefe. He was looking at her, still smiling, even wider now that Edaline and even Grady were here and fussing over him.

“Foster, it’s okay, I promise. I can handle it!” Keefe said, his smile twisting into a smirk. Sophie felt the blush on her face intensify and internally groaned at how obvious she was being.

“No, it’s okay, Edaline told me that you’re feeling everyone’s emotions more intensely. We both know that means mine are probably—pretty crazy,” she said, coughing awkwardly. “I really, really don’t want to make your recovery any worse.”

“Come on, Foster—“ Keefe started, but Edaline interrupted, saying that she was probably right. Sophie looked away from them, wishing that didn’t sting so much. All she wanted to do was talk to Keefe, get any sort of clarity about what had happened the morning before. At this point, she almost felt like she’d imagined it.

“I’ll just—step outside, then,” she said, quickly leaving the room. She leaned against the wall next to the open door to the healing center, sighing. She was still so anxious about it all, completely unsure about what their almost-kiss would mean for them. What if Keefe just wanted to be friends? What if he didn’t actually like her and had just been caught up in her feelings and the moment? What if he wouldn’t date her because his best friend was her sort-of-ex?

She paced outside of the healing center, endless questions running through her head.

After what felt like a million years, Grady and Edaline walked into the hall, Elwin following behind them and talking to them about some obscure remedy for nausea he’d tried with Keefe. When he saw Sophie he paused briefly, saying “He wants to talk to you, Sophie. Anyway, it seemed to just make him more nauseous, so I gave up on that one and kept trying other things, starting with…” Sophie didn’t hear the rest of his sentence, blood rushing through her ears as she tentatively stepped back into the healing center. Keefe was laying down and staring blankly at the ceiling. He sat up abruptly when Sophie walked in. He looked suddenly—nervous? Was that right?

Her stomach flipped as she walked over to him, but she shoved the feeling down, still completely worried about every way this conversation could go. He swung his legs over the edge of his bed, his hands next supporting him as he leaned forward a bit. He was looking at her but avoiding eye contact and she crossed her arms as she went to stand in front of him, keeping a foot or so between them. She felt like if she got any closer she’d either collapse or kiss him and either way was really not ideal without knowing what Keefe was thinking.

“Hi,” she said, staring directly at the floor. Her right hand drifted up to her eye, tugging on her eyelashes mindlessly as Keefe started talking.

“So, um, I don’t know if this is going to be, like, the worst conversation ever, or what, but I think we definitely need to, like, talk?” Keefe said. In her periphery she could see him shifting so that he was sitting on his hands, his shoulders scrunching up. He seemed so much different than his usual confident self and she felt another surge of butterflies, leaving her a bit breathless.

“Yeah, no, I agree. Um. So.” She glanced up quickly before going back to staring at the ground as she started the speech she’d prepared. “I just want to say that it’s, like, totally okay if that wasn’t something that you really want. I know you were in kind of a weird place because of everything that I was feeling and how you’d just woken up from a coma and everything, so I don’t want to make this something more than it was if it’s not anything for you, and—“ Sophie stopped talking, startled by Keefe reaching up and gently grabbing her wrist. Her eyes flicked up to his and there was that look again.

He pulled gently on her wrist and she let it drop away from her face as she stepped forward instinctively. His knees were on either side of her and his and was still on her wrist. Her arms hung awkwardly at her sides but she kept eye contact with Keefe, her breath catching in her throat at his expression. She still couldn’t exactly name it but this time she felt closer to it, like she was feeling the same thing he was, even if she couldn’t explain what that was.

“Sophie, you really don’t have to,” Keefe started, his hand sliding down from her wrist to her hand, intertwining their fingers. He leaned forward a tiny bit and she noticed that he was just slightly shorter than her while he was sitting like this. His eyes flicked down from her eyes to her lips and Sophie’s breath stuttered, a warm glow blooming in her chest. She was sure he knew everything she was feeling, but she couldn’t help but wonder if he understood what was going through her head as she thought about how close she was to him, how easy it would be to lean in and meet his lips with her own. She glanced down at his lips, squeezing his hand and shifting forward enough that their noses brushed gently, her head turned slightly down so their lips were lined up. She inhaled shakily and looked into his pale blue eyes, feeling the warmth of his breath. Her stomach swooped and she let her eyes flutter closed as she closed the gap between them, their lips finally meeting and oh.

This wasn’t like anything she’d ever felt. It was like coming home, like everything and nothing she’d ever expected from a kiss. It was like fireworks and bottled starlight and it was warm and it was bright and it was everything.

Their lips pressed together gently and she understood more than ever why everyone was so obsessed with kissing. She’d been wasting so much of her time pushing this down, forcing herself to pretend it wasn’t real, and to think that the whole tine, she could have had this.

His lips moved against hers as he kissed back, tilting slightly to the side and deepening the kiss and she couldn’t help but sigh into it, her lips parting. He untangled their hands so that he could wrap both his arms around her, one hand sliding around her waist and the other resting between her shoulder blades. She lifted her hand and cupped his cheek, brushing his face with her thumb. She pulled back just enough to dip back in, even more gently this time, sinking into it like they had all the time in the world, like this was all they’d be doing for the rest of their lives. And she wanted that, she wanted this, forever. Or as long as she could have it.

Keefe pulled away but rested his forehead against hers, keeping the contact as he breathed slightly heavily. She slowly opened her eyes, looking at his kiss-reddened lips and feeling her stomach flutter wildly knowing that she had done that. His eyes opened and he looked at her, the look she felt like she knew perfectly now even more intense than it had been before. She laughed breathily, feeling her own air swirl back at her from their proximity.

Keefe smiled at her for a moment before he leaned up, pressing their lips together again, firmly this time. Sophie let her eyes fall shut and she fell into the kiss, her mouth opening as their breath spun together. Her whole body felt like it was glowing, every point of contact sending electricity shooting through her. She felt a shiver run down her spine as Keefe’s fingers twisted into the fabric at the back of her tunic, goosebumps erupting across her bare arms. Sophie’s hand slid to the back of his neck, her fingers sinking into the hair there and pulling him close, bringing them flush against each other.

They finally broke apart and Sophie pressed her nose into his cheek as they breathed, slightly heavier than before, and she kept her arms tight around him, not ready for this feeling to go away.

Eventually she pulled back enough to look into his eyes. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that for,” she said quietly. He reached up with one of his hands, touching her cheek softly.

“You underestimate me,” he said, smirking at her. “Besides, I’ve wanted to do that for way longer than you have.”

“Oh, really? And how long is that?” she asked mockingly, smiling back at him.

“I’ve wanted to do that since ‘you must be lost?’” he said, his smirk softening into the look, which she was slowly realizing she’d only seen when he looked at her, like it was reserved for her.

She let out a huff of air, glancing away. “Yeah right. That’s literally the first thing you ever said to me, there’s no way.” She turned her gaze back to him and saw that he was completely serious.

“You’re kidding! How could you have liked me when you didn’t even know me?” She laughed, but he only shrugged. He looked down, an embarrassed blush creeping across his face. She cupped his cheek and lifted his face back up to look at her. “Honestly, that’s…incredibly flattering.” She could feel how warm her own face was and she forced herself not to look away, keeping her eyes locked with his.

“Well, you’re, like…my favorite person. And I know how absolutely sappy that is, but…it’s also true,” he said, his face reddening even more at the words. Sophie beamed back at him in response.

“You’re my favorite person too.” She darted forward to press a kiss to his cheek, brushing her thumb over the invisible spot where she’d left it before continuing. “And that was a really nice kiss. Much better than my first,” she said, cringing at the memory of her horribly awkward first kiss with Dex.

“Yeah, well, I’ve gotta say, that was a pretty impressive first kiss for me.” Sophie stared at Keefe with an open mouth as soon as the words left his mouth. He nodded, laughing at her expression. “Yep. I didn’t see the point in dating anyone before the matchmaking lists came out. And now I don’t care at all about those stupid lists.” She smiled at his words, letting them warm her from the inside out. “Besides,” he said, “I was waiting for you to come along.” She inhaled at those words, the butterflies twisting in her stomach. She couldn’t help but kiss him once more for that, pressing their lips together briefly firmly. He hummed against her lips and made a tiny noise of dissent when she pulled away.

“That was absurdly sappy and absurdly romantic,” she said, smiling widely. “You’d better keep saying stupid stuff like that.” He nodded enthusiastically, grinning back at her, and she couldn’t help but feel like this was the best decision she’d ever made.

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