ava-aurea - Tumblr blog

[ava-aurea]

please fuck me,

i need to hurt. 

i’ve gotten worse,

and i need to prove it.

his neck is red,

my body is wet,

he’s leading me to bed,

and pushing my head. 

my mouth tastes like salt,

it's warm. 

my legs hang over his shoulders,

as he fucks me raw. 

i hope this will make me happy. 

the way he pushes his manhood into me,

the way he muffles my screams 

with his dripping body. 

i let him deflower me,

let him steal my purity. 

smoking green he rolled for me,

he tells me It’s sweet serenity.

[ava-aurea]

De-flowered in the back of a camo jeep,

Losing my dignity to a stranger’s intimacy 

His sweat beating on me, it's so sweet. 

Shaking in the back seat. 

While I’m pleasing his needs.

[ava-aurea]

She filled her life with babes and lace, trying to erase the memory of his face.

An unfortunate fate cultivated by relentless self-hate and a body older men craved. 

Smoking with men she had only just met, they’re all just a way to forget. 

Undressed in the back of a Mercedes-Benz, using bad sex as a means to an end.

She hid behind winged eyeliner and a desire to be seen as more than a body. 

Her mind was rich, it held sick poetry with the power to make any sin seem godly. 

Her shoulders hung low, her chin tilted up to a God she didn’t believe in. 

She prayed for the same thing every day and never got her way. 

She played a song her father used to scream to her.

Crying in the backseat praying it won’t get worse. 

She smoked her lungs away, turned the red to tar.

Being used like a piece of meat in the back of a car. 

And when it was over she’d drive herself to a beach side.

Take herself under trying to cleanse her sick mind. 

She was poor but never begged for more.

She let the earth tell her what it had all been for. 

She trusted sand with her soul, soil with her bones. 

Letting random men become more home than they’ll ever know. 

Her hair melted in the waves, salt filled her ears.

She made her grave ocean water and tears.

[ava-aurea]

“Please let him find his way back to me.”

I call out to an unforgiving sea, one that never liked me.

It lures me in, daring me to go for a night swim.

Trust its midnight sin to submerge my moonlit skin.

To take me under like no other. 

Trust the waves to save me grace and hide my sunken face. 

To cascade over my thrown-away body.

In those riptides, I thrashed and cried, but no one saw me. 

It cuts me open, salt fills my veins,

Blood-spilled waves crave men full of hate,

They’re the kind of bait that wait for me on a silver plate.

Hanging from a rope that I fear is tied to my fate.

I see it every day just waiting for me to make a mistake.

To tell everyone to go away and lock myself in a self-made cage.  

To slip up and fall back in love with the same man who just can’t stay. 

My obsession is a strong current, my love is water worship.

This way to go is perfect, the only way to truly purge him. 

But the sea that once hated me washes my cold body onto shore. 

I cough up black tar and look up at not-so-random stars.

I starve for any type of sign, a message spelled out in divine lights.

The type that gives me a reason to continue this selfish excuse for a life.  

And when the stars align just right, I figure everyone I made fun of might have been right. 

“Ocean tides please never let him find me,

Hide my recovering body from his blood-hound nose.

It follows me everywhere I go, waiting for me to get worse. 

Like the curse that turns my sad prose into reality. 

Please let this sea breeze take me to a place where I can finally be happy.” 

[ava-aurea]

rock-a-bye baby come save me.

cradle my tired fawn heart,

tell me you like my hair dyed dark.

dress me like a doll,

you're so strong for putting up with me this long,

all the others run once they see my cuts. 

i think it's cause they’re scared of my love.

they want the crust cut off, all the ugly stuff gone,

and a pink-blushed wife to fuck them raw.

rock-a-bye baby come save me.

crave me, bathe me, lace me. 

be the son of a bicth to change me.

don't you dare forget me like scrapped poetry. 

face me, train me, teach me how to breathe. 

pledge our songbird love to the world.

make it your anthem, tell them all I’m your girl. 

one word and I’ll be on my knees but don’t you dare embarrass me. 

rock-a-bye baby please, please, please.

lull me to sleep with your nursery rhymes,

submit yourself to my wrist-slit crimes

commit yourself to me, bruised and blind. 

sign your name on my skin, let me teach you how to sin. 

i’m the type of gin that goes down easy 

so, rock-a-bye baby, I ask you this,

will you come and save me?

[ava-aurea]

My hair is black, bleached, freed from creeps dissecting me. 

My arms are healed but they’re real. Sealed like a drug deal. 

Second hand clothes and older men’s cologne drape my body. 

Naughty nights haunt my dreams tainting my beauty sleep. 

Im an object of desire, forged from the fire, a total babe.

Men crave the taste of my unforgiving ways yet never seem to stay

They craze over my ripped tights and pleated mini skirts. 

Hurting themselves for the chance at being my first. 

I’m handcuffed in the cage of a silver fox, he gnaws at my skin.

His fur aged but soft, I paw at his shameful grin. The lights dim. 

In the dark we’re sworn to secrecy. But that would be too easy.

He tries his best to please me, but I’m only a good girl to men that hurt me. 

Smoke lingers in my hair and women better than me stare.

Which is fair since I smell like sex and death. My favorite scent. 

Its rich, looking like this. Love me or hate me, you want it. 

The power, the confidence, the grim expression on my lips.

[ava-aurea]

My vampire eyes pine over a mortal but our love would be immoral.

I see in shades of violet violence constructed from the minds of a nihilist.

He's blind to the truth, seeing the world in blue serenity.

His eyes lack empathy, they’re empty, easily falling for the enemy.

My crimson claws dig at his virgin skin, never touched by a monster. 

His deepest insecurities fostered by a rigid environment that forced him to fit in. 

He sought solace in the promise of acceptance, revealing to me his rawest reflection. 

Head on his shoulder I looked dead on into the mirror, it was clear.  

Taking my hand we raced down halls I once refused to walk.

His soul compliments mine like aged wine and it's fucking divine.

We were thrown into mystifying merlot mazes but still found each other along the way.

Our throats are cloaked in blind hope and choked with a renegade’s rope.

I can feel his breath on my tongue. Sheer blinds do their best to keep out the rising sun. 

He coaxes something out of me that no one else could.

It feels human telling him my darkest secrets. His hand on my face, daylight to my darkness,

But that steak in the back of my vertebrae pains me in a way that erases my very name.

He opens the curtains and cradles my burning carcass. He purges his hunter instincts.

Making me feel safe and then using all my greatest weaknesses against me. 

My purple blood looks blue to him, he never really knew me, and none of them did. 

None of them dared to. Cared to. Calling me tortured before they even heard my screams.

Painful wails from a woman tired of loving with everything in her. It's a vampire’s curse.