aux-chord - Tumblr blog

[aux-chord]

Mfw I realize it was fucking BPD all along and that making one person my entire world repeatedly and then destroying that relationship via insane mood swings is not normal! Took me 26 years but I think I finally know what's wrong with me lol

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I just wanna wrestle with a puppy girl and hold her afterwards and tell her I love her. Is that too much to ask?

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I want to start over

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I'm going to be okay. I just don't know how I'm going to ever experience the joy she brought me. It sounds so dumb but what cis woman is going to call me a faggot when I kiss her then play wrestle me as foreplay? I didn't even know I liked that dynamic until her but now I feel like it's something I'll never have again. It's odd and dumb but it was nice for some reason

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One day I will experience someone loving me romantically. I will not give up.

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I am finally free from her. It all came crashing down

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You ever have the hottest kinkiest sex of your life and then just have no one to share it with but it feels crazy to just live with that memory????

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It means nothing at all

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She sent me a single black heart.

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Been sleeping with my situationship still cause I'm stupid. I love our play-fighting foreplay and I love her weird humiliation kinks with her sexuality and gender identity. It's all so hot and different. Idk if I can find this all in a relationship with a cis girl. She assures me I won't. She wants me to herself but knows she can't ask that because she will never love me.

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Held her thru the worst breakdown I've ever seen. Genuinely worried she might off herself if I ever leave her life...

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Srry to whoever is still following me. I just use this place to bitch and moan now because I can't afford therapy

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I discovered I rlly rlly love play fighting from my situationship and I don't know many cis women who want that.

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It's actually extremely painful to hear about what a catch I am from every girl that will fuck me but won't date me. That's so awesome! Glad to hear it!

Apparently I have my life put together sooooo well and yet no one sees me as a serious long term partner. 🙃 like please just don't tell me that