authorcbscura-blog

[authorcbscura-blog]

gravitainted‌:

“Edgar Allan Poe…” Chuuya repeated the name, testing it on his tongue and turning it over in his mind. The man was clearly an American, from the name and the accent he detected—a member of the Guild, then, or at least likely affiliated with them in some way. That begged a question, though, all things considered. Why did a detective from the ADA use the ability of a Guild member against him? No—not why, and not even how. The basic how and why were easy enough to figure out. A better question was how Ranpo had gotten ahold of the book and Edgar’s ability to use both in the first place. He could guess at that too, though since he’d been trapped in the book almost immediately after seeing it, he couldn’t know for sure without asking.

“Is that goddamn detective agency working with the Guild now? Tch. They must have sunk pretty low as an organization if they’re that desperate. If my boss is dead because your ability kept me from protecting him—” He was cut off by the sound of his phone buzzing repeatedly in his pocket, an assortment of messages, emails, and missed calls flooding the device all at once now that he’d returned to reality. Shooting a dark look Edgar’s way, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, quickly skimming over most of what he’d missed. The general consensus was that Mori was alive and well, as was the head of the ADA…and Chuuya himself was behind on paperwork due to his absence. Fucking fantastic. 

Internally groaning, he pocketed his phone and turned his attention back to the other man. He had no desire to rush back to headquarters just to fill out and submit paperwork. It needed to be done, but maybe a few more hours or one more day wouldn’t hurt. If something serious came up, he’d receive word of it and rush to deal with it, but basic busywork could wait just a little longer. Besides, he still had the situation at hand to deal with, and now that he knew for certain the Port Mafia boss was safe, he almost missed the world of the book.

“You’re lucky my boss is alive, because I would have killed you in a heartbeat otherwise. I am behind on paperwork, but I’m not going to kick your skull in just because of a few extra papers waiting for me in my office.” He sighed, hesitating for a moment before switching to speaking English, and his hard stare softened into something more neutral than threatening. “Since he’s doing just fine, I guess I should thank you instead. That was…quite the mystery you wrote. Convoluted as hell, but well done nonetheless, and it was a nice challenge not being able to use my ability the whole time. As for this mess…stay still before you cut your foot on a piece of that mug and there’s blood to clean up too. Give me a minute.” 

Without another word, he nudged one of his shoes into the edge of the coffee spill and wordlessly activated his ability, a red glow surrounding the mess created by the coffee, pumpkin seeds, and broken mug. As if it was all one mass, it rose up off the floor and shot over towards the kitchen sink, landing in it with a splash of the coffee and clattering of the seeds and broken ceramic. “There. Now we can talk without that mess being a distraction.”

     “A-actually, I’m not with the guild anymore. I never intended to be a part of any of the...whale nonsense, so after that, I cut ties. I’m also not working with the ADA...organizations aren’t really my thing. If I like someone enough, I just...help them out.” Poe took a slow step backwards, breathing a sigh of relief as Chuuya confirmed that he would not, in fact, be killing him today.

Not only was he not killing him, he was...thanking him? Now, that was unusual. That certainly wasn’t the common reaction he got from those who had been trapped in his books...well, those who had managed to make it out again, anyway. Being thanked and praised was completely unexpected, especially considering what he had seen of the mafioso beforehand. Not to mention, most people wouldn’t view losing their abilities as ‘a nice challenge’.

Chuuya Nakahara was apparently not most people. A fact that was making him significantly more interesting with each passing second.

“You’re...welcome? I have to admit, I’m impressed. I wasn’t completely sure if either of you would make it out of there.”

As the scattered remains of his morning routine floated up, Edgar followed the mess with his eyes and flinched slightly as it all clattered loudly into his sink. Did the mafia executive, who he had trapped in a book, powerless, surrounded by a needlessly complex mystery...just clean his kitchen for him? This was a strange morning, even by Poe’s standards, and he’d had some strange mornings.

“Talk...?” The author repeated, tilting his head to one side before his brain managed to catch up with the situation. “O-oh! Okay-- um...sure. You can...sit? I can make? Coffee? O-or tea, if you prefer? I...”

Two of his fingers twisted a dark curl of hair nervously between them as he attempted to navigate the situation. He very seldom had company and this was...certainly an odd circumstance to have it in. “...What do you want to talk about? As you can probably tell, I wasn’t expecting...conversation. I’m not very good at...people.”

[authorcbscura-blog]

hushabydog‌:

            [ THE ROMANTIC EGOTIST ]

     “ is this how god feels whenever He shows Himself to the people? “ scott was fanning himself with a brochure. yup. still in the nude and clearly in no hurry to get back into his pants, let alone his boxers.      “ how sad that there is no mind able to comprehend my divinity. it makes me weep. i shall have to conceal myself only to the worthy now… “

     “Um. Sir? Not that I’m complaining, but...is there a reason that you’re completely nude, or...?” What a thing to return to. This went beyond unfair and bordered directly on unreasonable. How was Poe meant to focus on anything else? Where was he even supposed to look? The floor. The floor is safe. 

But so boring compared to other places...

[authorcbscura-blog]

And Poe!! Thank you for loving Poe, Inky. You do him such justice, and I always love it when he’s on the Dash. I’m really excited to see you write him further, because he is so underrated. And you give all your muses depth!!!

validate me ; @swornblack

|| Poe is genuinely a delight and I adore writing him. thank you so much madi, he is my everything. I’m excited to write him more and I’m so glad you like him

[authorcbscura-blog]

Round two. Because your Poe deserves love too. Gosh he's... so good? I love that you've taken him behind the single dimension "shy writer" trope. He's shy, yes, but he has a past, he has FEELINGS, he gets sassy, he can be downright savage! And let's not mention his Disaster Gay tendencies whenever Scott his mentioned. He's a beautiful mess that deserves the world. I love his relationships. My Alcott adores him, whether the verse is friendship or polyship!

validate me ; @strcysouls

|| AGAIN, KIT, YOU HAVE MADE MY DAY. I honestly try my best with all of my muses, to give them depth and knowing so little about Poe in canon really gave me room to dive deep so it means so much that others can see it

Also, he ADORES your Alcott, no question about it, in any/every verse, in any form of relationship, she is just? So good and he thinks she’s wonderful.

[authorcbscura-blog]

Anonymously tell me what you think of my character portrayal.

[authorcbscura-blog]

"I've got a good secret for you." Gin is hesitant, lingering longer than normal before taking a seat for their studies-- Her gaze to the floor, rather than at him. "There's someone that I love very much. And that someone is you." (Paranormal AU? uwu)

@elegantvoices

     Their lessons would always begin this way. Teaching was a job, after all, and jobs required payment, no matter how fond Edgar might be of the pupil. He always stressed, however, that witches should always have their own forms of non-monetary currency. Some people were not rich in money but perhaps could offer plenty else to pay for magic works. It should be something the witch needs or is particularly partial to. Something with meaning or something to aid in further casting.

Edgar’s currencies were very specific, but easy enough to come by for most. food, herbs, ink, roses, or secrets. Trading in secrets was an old practice, the importance of which, his mother had instilled in him before her death. There is power in secrets, she’d say. In knowing the unknown, you find the very basis of all magic.

So, when Gin settles down across from him, the witch isn’t the least bit surprised to hear the vampire’s preface. He lowers his pen and book and raises his gaze to her. She seems more shy than usual, like back when they had first met, but perhaps it’s nothing unusual. Just one of those days. 

What truly shocks him is what she says next.

He’s struck silent, eyes wide behind his curly mop of dark hair and for a moment, he struggles to speak, floundering in stunned silence. He his throat, fingers fidgeting with the worn binding of his current spellbook, and finally manages to find his voice.

“I-- Y-you’re right, that is...that’s a very good secret. The best I’ve ever heard. That alone is...worth more than anything I could ever teach you.” He gives a nervous laugh and raises a hand to rub the back of his neck, his heart beating far too quickly. “You’ve overpayed me, Gin...how can I possibly trade you something to match the worth? I'll have to start by saying that I love you very much as well. It’s only fair. A secret for a secret.”

[authorcbscura-blog]

"Love Potion" @Scott for Poe (authorcbscura)

     @authorcbscura has a message for [ FITZGERALD ] !     SUBJECT: Love Potion     [ NO LONGER ACCEPTING ]

            [ THE ROMANTIC EGOTIST ]

     Heart beat, heart beat. Quicken, quicken. Soft and scuttle, momentary bliss. A warm and pleasant feeling presided over him; he let it do so without fail. Sitting here in the evening quick, golden dusk hovering just above the silver-pane window, mantled in sunset red. The leather books took a husky hue ; October-ish, autumn-like, strangely russet. A hand explored a spine, feeling the bind soft from underneath.     Scott glanced over at the brooding man sitting next to him – a Mr. Edgar Allan Poe. Ba-bump. Ah, gentle pulse. Harsh in its connivance. A surrogate feeling of pleasure coursed through his veins. Sweetness – like ichor, he savored the taste.     Love was an attractive quality on some; Scott believed he bore it well. It was one of his favorite mannerisms, the quintessential element of romance. Pulse, pulse, he liked the pulsating heat, the flush on his skin. Let it be, let it be. The mood is sinking in.     He picked up a piece of paper, fingers brushing ( theatrical cue. this was deliberate. ) alongside Poe’s on the snowy field.     “ apologies, old sport, ” he said, his voice low. The other man’s hand moved – a natural reflex. It took all of Scott’s willpower not to pull it back, to clasp it tight and never let go. The smallest touch sent his skin aflame, tingling at the tips to where the parts sat abreast.     He glanced at Poe from the corner of his eye, mesmerized. What a funny feeling. What a grand feeling. Silly feeling. Ba-bump. Ba-bump. … bump …     Scott turned his head the moment he saw Poe do the same. Not the shy sort, no-no. Leave them guessing. He knew Poe saw. Good, good. That’s good. He’ll be acting flustered, questioning, groping. For answers, Scott was certain. No point wondering where those hands were going to go now.     “ the view is certainly pleasant, no? “     He smiled, nodding.

     “ i certainly enjoy it. “

[authorcbscura-blog]

gravitainted‌:

@authorcbscura

“Fucking finally…”

A golden light emanated from the mystery novel sitting on a table, and with it, the mafia executive emerged from within the pages of the book. His feet landed gracefully on the table, an arm raised to hold his hat against his head, and he dropped down onto the floor with a flourish of his overcoat. It took him a moment to gather his bearings, however, as he was in a completely unfamiliar space. At least he was back in his usual clothes, and he could feel the thrum of power within him that represented his ability—along with something else inside him that was less welcome. Clicking his tongue, he righted his hat on his head and smoothed out his clothing. He was back in the real world, it seemed.

A quick glance around the room assured him he was almost certainly in a kitchen, and there was a rather startled man with dark hair near what appeared to be a broken coffee mug. There was no sign of the detective who had originally trapped him in the book, but he’d expected as much anyway. Blue eyes narrowed dangerously, coming to rest on the other man in the room, and he rested a hand against his hip. 

“Oi, quit cowering over there and tell me who you are. You’re the one responsible for me getting sucked into that story, aren’t you?”

     It had been a relatively calm morning, all things considered. Edgar had just made his morning coffee and was in the process of opening his kitchen window, whicker basket of pumpkin seeds in hand. Several ravens had gathered, awaiting breakfast, and who was he to decline? 

Suddenly, however, the book on his kitchen table- the book he hadn’t thought much of since Ranpo had emerged from it weeks earlier, began to rattle violently.

There was a flash of light and Poe’s heart leapt right into his throat, hands fumbling his coffee cup, as well as the basket, and ultimately dropping both. The mug shattered upon impact with the floor and the seeds scattered in a chaotic array over coffee-soaked tile.

“Fuck-”

The author raised both hands to his head, fingers twisting into his hair as he stared in a panic at the mafioso that was materializing into his kitchen. His eyes locked on the man who stood atop his table and his mouth fell open, as if in an attempt to speak. He wanted to find something to say but...what could possibly be said in this situation?

Get a grip, Edgar, think of something, you useless- oh god, he’s looking at me. I’m dead, I’m so dead. I’m going to die in my pajamas in my kitchen to a man with...very gorgeous eyes.

There are worse ways to go.

“I-- um- I’m--” He flinched as hot coffee began to seep into his socks, reminding him of the mess at his feet. “Edgar Allan Poe- I...wrote the book, and it was my ability that put you in it, so...yes, I guess I am responsible...If you don’t mind, can I clean this up before you kill me?”

[authorcbscura-blog]

Send in “Love Potion” and a name and my muse will become infatuated with them

[authorcbscura-blog]

from the edge of the page, scott intertwined his fingers with those of poe's. Blue eyes peered up curiously at brown ones, blond lashes quivering in the library dusk. leaning in, scott began to recite, voice as soft and hushed as the air breathing around them. " doubt thou the stars are fire / doubt that the sun doth move / doubt truth to be a liar / but never doubt I love... " And finessed it off with a breath-taking kiss. // TARDIS AU. it's really fucking gay.

@hushabydog

     Oh my-

The moment their eyes meet, there’s a spark in the air. The detective catches the other man’s intent the moment he begins to speak. Poe’s heart pounds ever harder the closer Scott draws to him. The words he recites are passionate in their original meaning, but somehow even more so when shaped by the blond. 

The Captain’s voice, kept low like that, sends a shiver running up Poe’s spine and he finds himself moving closer as well. His breath catches as he feels the initial ghosting brush of lips on his, granted to him by proximity and the blessed way that Scott’s lips form the syllables.

Here, in this library, with this man reciting to him in such a way, it can’t get any more perfect.

Then Scott closes the distance, seals the moment with a deep kiss that urges Poe to reciprocate, and pale, thin fingers find their way into blond locks even as his face burns red. Once they part, Poe is breathless, gazing from under his mop of unruly curls, eyes slightly unfocused, at the glorious man in front of him.

And he can’t help but smile.

“I– you are…dangerously charming, you know that?”

[authorcbscura-blog]

𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 /  𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒.

These may have been edited for clarity or length or to better apply for roleplaying.

❛ What are they? What are those things? ❜

❛ How do you know who I am? ❜

❛ Like I said on the dance floor, you might want to find something to hang on to. ❜

❛ We’re losing them. Stay close. ❜

❛ I did warn them. ❜

❛ It’s hilarious, isn’t it? ❜

❛ What do you think? ❜

❛ What’s wrong? ❜

❛ What are you doing? ❜

❛ That was amazing. ❜

❛ You’re brilliant. ❜

❛ I won’t let you down. ❜

❛ You all right? ❜

❛ Oh, it’s not as bad as it sounds. ❜

❛ You’re good. I’m not saying you’re right, but you are very good. ❜

❛ We need to get out of here fast. ❜

❛ Give me that. Seriously, just give it to me. ❜

❛ Hello, sweetie. ❜

❛ You wouldn’t answer your phone. ❜

❛ You’re surrounded. Have you got a plan? ❜

❛ What are you doing? What’s wrong? ❜

❛ This is cold. Even by your standards, this is cold. ❜

❛ You’re going to have to trust us this time. ❜

❛ I hate you. ❜

❛ I lied. I’m always lying. ❜

❛ Got a problem with archaeologists? ❜

❛ You think there’s danger here? ❜

❛ Whatever came here is long dead. ❜

❛ Well, you took your time. ❜

❛ You don’t look much like your pictures. ❜

❛ And now that you’ve met me, you’ll do your very best to forget me. ❜

❛ Don’t use my name. Ever. How do you know me? ❜

❛ Okay, I know that face. Calm down. Calm down! ❜

❛ Now, hush, I’m working. ❜

❛ It doesn’t matter. ❜

❛ There are so many theories about you and I, you know. ❜

❛ I can’t let you die. ❜

❛ Well, you took your time. ❜

❛ What’s that noise? ❜

❛ I really don’t care. What’s that noise? ❜

❛ Would you like a drink? ❜

❛ How would you know? ❜

❛ Does sarcasm help? ❜

❛ Get the hell out! ❜

❛ Why are you frowning? ❜

❛ Don’t do anything that might make me cross and kill you. ❜

❛ Is that strictly necessary? ❜

❛ But whoever said he/she/they loved me back? ❜

❛ Why are you sad? ❜

❛ So, assuming tonight is all we have left. ❜

[authorcbscura-blog]

strcysouls‌:

     【 ✒ GUILD TACTICIAN 】

    “Do you… do you think I bought too many, Poe?” The stack of books in her arms looked liable to topple poor Louisa if she wasn’t careful, but nonetheless, her expression was bright, her voice breathless. On Earth, she rarely sounded so excited over anything. The world was mundane. Nothing like the planet they were currently visiting.

    The moment Twain had opened the doors of the TARDIS, she’d set out to explore without hesitation, her customary timidity forgotten with the thrill of learning. And oh, when she discovered the alien bazaar filled with trinkets, treasures, and (best of all) books, she couldn’t help wondering if this particular world was called Heaven. Exploration led to shopping, shopping led to her present state, staggering over to Poe with her collection of prizes.

     “I don’t recognize any of these languages! Do you?”

【 au starter call ♔ @authorcbscura 】

     “Too many books? There’s no such thing.” The stack was considerably tall and probably quite heavy, but the look of delight on Louisa’s face was a thing of wonder. Seeing different times and other worlds was brilliant and all, but none of it compared to the joy that illuminated his dearest friend. He’d never seen anything on Earth have that effect on her.

“Although,” He strode to her side and gestured to the precarious tower of literature. “I think I should help you with those. A stack that big would most likely crush either of us but a burden shared is only half as heavy.” With that in mind, he gently plucked half the stack from her arms and fell into step beside her, eyes scanning the top-most title. Poe gave a curious hum as the TARDIS’ translation feature rearranged the symbols in his mind, creating something he could understand out of something beyond foreign.

“No, I’ve never seen anything like this before. You must be in paradise. Knowing you, you’ll be fluent in most of these by the end of the week.”

As they reached the TARDIS, Poe somehow managed to balance his book pile as he fumbled with the key. Once inside, he set his portion of Louisa’s shopping haul on a table and turned towards her with a fond smile.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. I mean, why wouldn’t you be, that’s the point of adventuring, but still- it’s good to see you so happy.”

[authorcbscura-blog]

                          ALL STORIES ARE ABOUT WOLVES…

      …escaping from the wolves, fighting the wolves, capturing the wolves, taming the wolves…

           BEST OF ALL, TURNING INTO THE HEAD WOLF.

                       multimuse bsd blog, feat. francis scott key fitzgerald                                                  penned by meechi

[authorcbscura-blog]

 CHARACTER TRAITS

    Tagged by: stole it from @hushabydog !     Tagging: anyone !

active | adaptable | admirable | adventurous | agreeable | alert | appreciative | aspiring |attractive | balanced | benevolent | calm | capable | caring | charismatic | charming |cheerful | clean | compassionate | confident | considerate | cooperative | courageous |creative | cultured | curious | daring | decisive | dedicated | dignified | discreet | dramatic |dutiful | educated | elegant | empathetic | energetic | faithful | farsighted | firm | flexible |forceful | forgiving | friendly | fun-loving | gallant | generous | gentle | genuine | hardworking |healthy | helpful | heroic | honest | honourable | idealistic | independent | intelligent | kind |loyal | mature | modest | observant | optimistic | organised | passionate | patient | peaceful |playful | popular | precise | protective | realistic | reliable | respectful | responsible |romantic | sane | scrupulous | selfless | self-critical | self-reliant | self-sufficient | sensitive |serious |  skillful | sophisticated | spontaneous | stoic | strong | suave | subtle | sweet | sympathetic | tolerant | trusting | understanding | vivacious | warm | wise | witty | youthful

[authorcbscura-blog]

Lifetrap Test [ take here ]

Sosial isolation

Lifetrap strength: very strong 15% of people answering the test got the same result. 64% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I don't quite fit in, so I find myself often feeling as an outsider. 6 I feel I'm fundamentally different from the others. 6 I'm avoiding social situations because it is exhausting. 6 You often feel anxiety in social situations and it makes you avoid them. You feel different and therefore not fitting in. With new people you feel uncomfortable and nervous and you do not really know what to say. You might be nervous about the situation and afraid of getting into the spotlight. Feeling anxious you are wondering what others might think of you. When you are upset you are unable to use your social skills, so you will feel insecure and withdraw. You may be accustomed to avoid social situations to the extent that it seems quite natural - but at the same time you need inside a closer contact with fellow human beings. In a group you may pretend you're more like the others and you want to give a good impression of yourself. You might get into working positions, which does not require a lot of interaction. In close relationships you'll feel more confident and calm - you can be more truly yourself. The repeated experience of being an outsider makes you avoid more and more unpleasant social situations.

Abuse

Lifetrap strength: very strong 15% of people answering the test got the same result. 60% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I don't trust other people very easily and I believe that I will eventually be betrayed or abused. 6 I have been abused or taken advantage of by important people in my life. 6 I have to protect myself and I push people away so that they can't hurt me. 6 You fear that other people will hurt, cheat, be violent, abuse or take advantage of you in some way. You probably don't feel confident and safe but rather you see threats in your relationships. It is usually hard for you to trust other people. You might have doubts about the intentions of others and you believe they will deceive you one way or another, sooner or later. You will not let anyone get close to you and you do not dare to open up to in your relationships. You are careful and you may test whether other people are worthy of trusting. However, you may be attracted by people who are abusers and you let others treat you badly. Repeated emotional experiences of exploitation or abuse tend to strengthen the lifetrap. This eats out your self-esteem, and you find it hard to get out of a relationship where you are being mistreated.

Punitiveness

Lifetrap strength: very strong 16% of people answering the test got the same result. 57% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I am harsh to myself if I make a mistake and I might punish myself for it. 6 I am angry at myself because I'm so weak, sentimental or needy. 6 I blame myself or call myself stupid, lazy or selfish. 6 You are very hard on yourself and punish yourself if you act incorrectly. You are often angry at yourself and criticize yourself for your mistakes. You might feel guilty or ashamed of how you've acted. You may be angry at yourself because you are sometimes weak, sentimental, or needy. If something bad happens to you, you might think that it was deserved, and you do not deserve sympathy or compassion. You may also be punitive to those around you. Your children may get an earful if things do not go as you please. You find it hard to forgive yourself and others and you do not accept excuses too easily.

Pessimism

Lifetrap strength: very strong 17% of people answering the test got the same result. 70% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I pay much attention to the negative side of life. 6 Even if something good would happen, I'm afraid that something unpleasant will happen next. 6 I try to be very careful not to do wrong things, which could lead to a disaster. 5 You are a pessimist, and you pay more attention to negative than positive things in life. You tend to worry a lot about future events or situations. If things seem to go well, it seems only temporary. If something good happens you’ll expect that something bad is going to happen next. You fear that you may make wrong decisions that can lead to a crisis or a disaster. You worry about mistakes and therefore you aim to be as careful as possible.

Defectiveness

Lifetrap strength: very strong 13% of people answering the test got the same result. 54% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: People sometimes make me feel worthless and ashamed. 6 I find it difficult to understand why anyone could really like me. 6 I'm afraid that my inferiority will be revealed. 5 Your existence is characterized by worthlessness which is based on the belief of defectiveness. You might talk about yourself with a degrading tone; you are critical, harsh and angry at yourself. As if you would have within you something shameful and disgusting which needs to be kept hidden. Probably you hide your problems and mistakes and avoid talking about them not to feel shame. You have to keep your real feelings and thoughts in secret, you do not want the others to see you as a sentimental or a needy human being. You present to people other than you really are and at the same time, you are afraid of the disclosure. You are sensitive to criticism and critique, which may make you angry. Maybe you attack against your feelings of inferiority by being critical and dismissive of others - including your partner or your children. You may feel attracted to critical people who further increase you feeling of worthlessness.

Failure

Lifetrap strength: very strong 16% of people answering the test got the same result. 58% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I don't think that I'm equally talented as the others. I'm not so successful at school or at work as the others. 6 I avoid challenges and difficult tasks so that I would not fail and feel humiliated. 4 I often compare myself to others and I consider myself in some way a failure. 6 You think you are doomed to failure, as if you are lacking some essential skills or abilities. You may have learned to avoid challenges or difficult tasks in the fear of failure. You might believe that you do not know enough or you are not able to do something, and that is why you are not taking tasks seriously. You might compare yourself to others and consider yourself a failure, inferior, or less talented than others. You think that the others have been more successful, and you do not appreciate your own achievements - there is always someone who has succeeded or done better. The effect of this lifetrap can be seen especially at the workplace. You might avoid career progress, taking challenges, promotion, committing or taking initiative. You may be trying to compensate for the feeling of failure with perfect performance and accuracy. The belief of being a failure will increase with each experience of failure.

Vulnerablity

Lifetrap strength: very strong 10% of people answering the test got the same result. 54% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I'm worried about that I or my beloved ones get seriously sick or have an accident. 6 I'm constantly worried about money matters, and I'm afraid that I might become bankrupt or lose my position. 1 I think the world is a dangerous place, the risks seem to be everywhere. 6 You are often scared and feel insecure. You worry excessively about your health, accidents or financials. You might choose a partner who is strong enough to protect you from the risks. You suffer from anxiety or panic attacks; or you are constantly more or less anxious, which makes it difficult for you to enjoy the everyday life. You might rely on addictions in order to facilitate anxiety. You strive to ascertain that you are safe. Therefore, you have learned to evade risks: elevators, cars, travelling in the city or abroad, investments, or career opportunities; you would rather stick to the old which is familiar and safe. Fears are limiting your life and your loved ones who have to adapt to your fears. Constant worrying and risk avoidance further enhance the feeling of vulnerability.

Unrelenting standards

Lifetrap strength: very strong 19% of people answering the test got the same result. 75% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I have to perform all my duties before I can rest. 5 I have to do my best, second best is not good enough. There is always need for improvement. 6 I have success in my life but I find it hard to stop and enjoy it. 4 You are highly demanding on yourself, although you will probably see your standards quite reasonable. You feel that you have to do something all the time, to get results, be efficient and keep things in order. You can’t be happy with yourself if you do not meet your requirements. Nothing ever seems to be sufficient; there is always something worth pursuing. The feelings of inadequacy, failure, inferiority and shame lurk nearby and strike hard if you can’t reach your requirements. You strive to avoid these unpleasant feelings, and it causes you anxiety and stress. Stress may arise in various physical symptoms - insomnia, fatigue, high blood pressure, ulcer or panic attacks. You find it hard to relax and just enjoy life. You may be mostly frustrated and irritated with yourself and others. To you, life is performing, and you believe that at the end it will bring to you a prize - freedom or perfection. The achievements, however, feel empty after all and you need to look for the following tasks and challenges. If you choose to succeed at something, you will probably succeed - however, you can’t stop to enjoy the success. Maybe you neglect your friends or loved ones - because you do not have the time to relax and give your time to the others.

Emotional deprivation

Lifetrap strength: very strong 15% of people answering the test got the same result. 55% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I can't get enough love, care or affection. 3 In the beginning of a relationship I am hopeful and I feel I have found the partner of my life. However, the relationship ends always in a disappointment. 5 I have barely had anyone who really listened to, understood and cared about me. 6 You feel that no one will or can satisfy your need for love and care, and probably you feel often that no one really listens and understands you. You might avoid love relationships, relationships tend to be short or you protect yourself with falling in love with a person who is not available. You might fall in love with cold, rejecting and inhibited persons. Something in them attracts you strongly. Relationships often end after the high expectations with bitter disappointment. Perhaps the great desire that your partner will change and someday be able to fulfill your needs keeps you in relation with an unsatisfying partner. You might expect that the loved one should be able to read your mind and automatically satisfy your needs for affection and intimacy. You may not have ever considered expressing your needs, on the other hand you may withdraw from or be hurt if one is unable to meet your need for feeling loved. Repeated deprivation confirms the beliefs that you will never find a life partner and you will never get the love you need.

Self-sacrifice

Lifetrap strength: strong 36% of people answering the test got the same result. 87% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I find it hard to ask others to take care of me and my needs. 6 I feel guilty if I don't act according to the expectations of others. 1 I always find time to take care of others and the beloved ones. I'm used to listen to other people's problems. 5 You've learned to pay attention to the needs of others and your own needs can easily be left aside. If you put your own needs first, it is likely that you feel guilt. You sacrifice your own needs so that you don’t have to feel guilty about the fact that you have not noticed enough the needs of others. You sacrifice your needs voluntarily, simply because the needs of others are above your own. You are empathetic by nature, and do not want others to feel any discomfort, you'd rather feel it yourself. You are strong and take a lot of responsibility and support the well-being of others. It is easy for you to be compassionate and understanding towards others. You are usually listening to other people’s problems and you tell about yours just a bit.

Insufficient self-control

Lifetrap strength: strong 24% of people answering the test got the same result. 62% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I'm impulsive and I get easily bored, routine tasks are really not for me. I don't always consider the consequences of my actions. 4 I have trouble putting limits for myself and that is why I do too many things that are harmful to me (e.g. I drink, eat, smoke or gamble). 4 I have trouble controlling my desires, my feelings and impulses. I have trouble expressing anger constructively. 5 You are impulsive, you give your impulses the control of your life. You find it hard to concentrate for any length of time, because your mind creates impulses and would like to do something else. You have difficult time trying to control your emotions and your mind. You do not always think about the consequences of your actions, which will cause you problems. You may run into problems with the authorities. Your life is more or less in chaos. You may find it difficult to express your anger constructively, which results in raging and other inappropriate behavior. Lack of self-discipline and boundaries can easily lead to addictions: drinking, smoking, excessive eating, sex addiction, internet addiction or other problematic behaviors. You start projects on a whim, but they are often left half-finished, and you have a number of them going on at the same time. In working life, your impulsiveness can lead you to repeated failures when you do not reach your goals. In relationships you may alienate people close to you with your behavior. You might feel drawn to demanding, systematic, and discipline people who bring a counterbalance to your lack of self-discipline.

Abandonment

Lifetrap strength: strong 27% of people answering the test got the same result. 61% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I'm afraid that I'll lose my beloved people one way or another. 6 I fall in love with people who are not willing to make a commitment. 3 I have trouble with myself if I'm left alone. 2 Fear of loss of controls your life - you are worried about being left alone. You believe that your loved ones will die or leave you one way or another. You fear being left alone and will probably stick to your close people, but at the same time expel them from you – your worst fear is like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Loss of fear induces a lack of confidence that comes out as control, possessiveness and jealousy. Addictions can be a coping mechanism for solitude making the anxiety seem more bearable. You experience the normal situations of separation in relationships distressing and you do not feel confident that the relationship would last any breaks. You easily make wrong interpretations of other people’s intentions, based on which you may overreact, like when someone is not answering your call or text message. Although the relationship is stable, it feels only temporary - as if it were constantly at stake. When you get desperate you might threaten with separation, as if to test your expectations - will the relationship come to an end this time. Losses you experience strengthen your beliefs that you can’t find any lasting relationship.

Dependence

Lifetrap strength: strong 18% of people answering the test got the same result. 48% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I do not manage on my own, I need others to get through everyday responsibilities. I not capable of taking care of myself. 3 I find it hard to trust my ability to make the right decisions, even in simple cases. 5 I evade responsibility, taking initiative and going to challenging situations. 2 You feel that you are somehow unable to take care of yourself. You do not trust your own judgment. You need, therefore, other people to support you and to take care of you. You are dependent on friends and family - you are not an independent adult coping on your own. Probably you are still in close contact with your parents, who affect your life dramatically. Making decisions is difficult for you, you might be asking for advice and confirmation from others; you would change your mind many times, and still be unsure of your decision. You might avoid responsibility, initiative and challenging situations. You feel anxiety and despair if you have to take more responsibility than what you feel capable of having. Perhaps the only chance for you to survive is to team up with a strong partner, which will eventually make you even more dependent on others.

[authorcbscura-blog]

The Adventurer has died.

someone has died ; accepting ; @hesnipe

     “ What…? “ 

Mark? Dead ? That wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be- not him. Not the immortal with sunlight in his smile, the man he’d already seen regenerate once before. This wasn’t happening, this couldn’t be happening…

Poe had seen plenty of death, so much that he was numb to it. But this? This was a man who seemed invincible. He should have known better. 

No one was invincible.

The human lowered his head, his eyes stinging as the horribly familiar feeling of loss settled into his chest. He had loved that man and now? Now he had lost him. Mark had always promised to keep him safe and Poe had failed to do the same.

The detective choked back a sob. The time for pain would come later- right now, he needed to go to him. He straightened his back, determination twisted with grief etched into every line of his face. 

“Where is he? I need to bring him home.”

[authorcbscura-blog]

".....has died." finish it in my ask.