austinsten

[austinsten]

Both parties are corrupt and don't care about you. Celebrities aren't good role models. All men aren't automatically evil because they ask if something is untrue just as all women aren't automatically victims for believing that lie. The guys who blindly agree with you and tell you sweet lies and whatever you want to hear arent your friends and they arent men. They metoo movement was necessary. I agree with that but now that its been twisted into just attacking men for being men, i hope the backlash is over by the time my daughter grows up. Obviously there are a lot of scummy dudes who try to take advantage or people, and those kind of men choose women in particular. They are the very guys the metoo movement was supposed to expose but now INSTEAD all you have done was train them how to manipulate you. Howard stern is not suddenly less of a creep because he went woke. Onlyfans was made by a man and nearly a quarter of women have one nowdays. I dont get how you dont see thats literally prostitution. These weasels have taken women for a ride for the last decade and have actually convinced them its okay to act without morals or shame. It's not okay for either sex (because there's two) to cheat or live without accountability. Period. No amount of running off with another man or woman will change the objective truth that doing that is FUCKED UP and breaks your soul. It tears you away from yourself and it wont fix the hole in your life. Building an army of simps and having a "warrior bond" is nonsense, neither of you has been to war and if you just sleep around you arent actually bonding with anyone anyway. Own your shit and start doing some thinking for YOURSELF!

[austinsten]

Talk is cheap, Lagertha. Bjorn is Rollos son! You fucked around with Rollo?! And wonder why he spent a lifetime resenting his brother like you had nothing to do with it? Kept that secret from your husband? And Ragnar...since when are you a fuck boy for anyone kissing your ass? what is that? Everything is ruined.

[austinsten]

Worrying about tomorrow steals Joy from today. ☀️❤️

[austinsten]

Old romance is a guilty pleasure. She didn't take her ring off for 16 years? Thinking he was dead? And he thinks shes been in love with the man who betrayed him?...but they still only love each other? 🥹

[austinsten]

I do not think that would be your fate.

What I always wanted for you was to be the fearless and bold like we both know you are. You are very strong and brave. Thats who you are and you shouldn't be afraid to show it. You shouldnt take anymore shit and you shouldnt give yourself to anyone that doesnt love you like you deserve. Even if you have to do it to me. In fact you especially have to do it with me. shut me out, threaten me, hate me. Fine, so be it. As long as you're standing up for yourself when you're right and taking accountability when you're wrong. If I can't have you at least maybe i can help you and someday you can find a guy who will treat you how I always should have and actually be ready to keep him. Is that weird? Idk you're the girl I've always loved so much I just want you to be happy. I feel like you never believed i loved you or thought you were the most beautiful woman id ever seen. You should be with someone who makes you believe those things. I know you also carry the same sadness and unbearable anxiety from childhood trauma. I know i broke your trust When I yelled. I pushed you away when you couldnt talk to me. That is my own trauma and was never your fault. Its still no excuse and I can't save face. i should have learned your love language a lot sooner. I know you just wanted to be held and kissed like there was only us. I lost myself feeling so alone and just CRAZY because I wanted you to fight for us with me, I wanted to hear every thought and desire you hadn't shared so BAD i just wanted to reach you and help you. I just wanted to do it for real without playing any games, without manipulation. It was so hard to find a middle ground between being loving and being firm to not feel walked on. I laughed when you were mad because it was the only time I saw you truly express yourself and i just loved you so much I couldn't contain it. It made me so happy just to hear what was on your mind. I never asked you how your day was enough, i never kissed you like i should have. It was never just about sex for me, i was nuts about you from the start. i was truly your love fool for so, so long. But i also knew you kept secrets between us and i pushed you way too hard about it, i understand there was overlap. Its hard to settle on a feeling about it because you also would not have put yourself in that situation again, much less so many times after, if you weren't seeking attention and you did actually regret it. I know you were broken and in the dark. But I've also accepted if I'd shown you the love you deserved you may never have sought it elsewhere. If things were good between us youd have never been with them. If we could just stop being so stubborn and be vulnerable enough to actually speak what were so afraid to. Its just sucks! Its so painful when we didnt even do this to each other were just fucked up from our childhood and cant stop hurting each other! Even knowing that. Sigh, i never wanted to make you feel small or unheard i was just so afraid to lose you! I never hated you I was just heartbroken. I wanted to stay forever, but we couldn't talk to each other. I just wanted the truth not more manipulation. I wanted to hear i was your love and the only man you wanted. Sigh. I never wanted to silence you or talk over you. Quite the opposite. I loved you in ways you may never understand and it's my own fault.

- What do you fear, my lady? - A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them and all chance of valor has gone beyond recall or desire. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (2002)

[austinsten]

Been the other guy once before, back when I was a teenager. then i sunk into a depression for a decade. I hate that I made anyone go through this feeling. The never knowing. The doubting yourself and the love you shared. What it meant and what it was all for. When it ended and you still couldn't let go of them you ask if things were over, even when you ended it. How long you should wait to hear they're truly sorry and ready to make a change before you decide to take them back or move on? I spent 7 years waiting. I understand why, and i can't really blame her anymore. I know my temper mixed with her trauma should have been given more attention. I just wanted the whole truth then and there so I didn't have to live with not knowing anymore, thinking about it all the time. But I know Ive screwed up the rest of everything afterwards. Held onto anger and destroyed any chance of you being in my life.

One more thing I lost with my temper. I got my karma in the form on her.