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Staying alive was never Jason's strong suit

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Camp Jupiter kids are private school kids and Camp Half-Blood kids are public school.

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@mothmanavenue you ate this one little thing

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I love that Sally Jackson’s 3 love interests are just

Literal god

Canonically pure evil

Paul

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Chiron and Mr D: now that you've trained at camp for one (1) week it's time for you to embark on a quest to retrieve Zeus' lightning bolt and stop all out war from breaking out amongst the Gods.

Percy: are you aware that i am twelve years old

Chiron and Mr D: this is your dad's will

Percy: is he aware that i am twelve years old

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god. hades saying, "ask me for sanctuary" after percy talks about kronos hits like a truck when you remember that he tried to do the same for maria, bianca, and nico.

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I wonder if the younger campers at chb wrote fanfiction about their favorite ships from the biggest heroes (the seven) at camp. If they did I bet there were ship wars between Jasico and Percico shippers all across camp. Meanwhile Solangelo shippers just point to Nico and Will making out and mouth ‘I won.’

Leo and Piper are the only ones that know and are here for the drama. Nico and Annabeth have their suspicions but don’t have enough evidence.

Capture the Flag wars are held twice a week now. One time regular style, the second so that the shippers can be on separate teams and take out their annoyance with the other ships.

The fanfics start getting out of control. One twelve year old Athena kid teams up with an Aphrodite kid to write a big three threesome and hand out the latest chapters like drug dealers to other campers.

Leo jokingly writes Solangelo fluff and sells it for $2 a chapter each week. The Stolls help with distribution.

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Basically the end of TLH:

Leo: Hey guys! I’m gonna build this big fucking boat based on this crayon drawing that I did one time when I was five.

Everyone: That’s… gonna take you years.

Leo: Nah bro imma do it in six months.

Everyone: How? Why?

Leo: Well, I have a combination of ADHD and childhood trauma that makes me feel worthless if I’m not constantly moving, so… boat!

Everyone: OR! OR! Therapy.

Leo: Nah. Boat.

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leo: you know it’s funny when i see all my friends fight monsters. because as the most powerful demigods alive, everyone gets the job done. but everyone does it so differently

chiron: how so?

leo: well jason is like a robot, or some fighting machine, because with all his training he’s so programmed and concise. frank is basically the bipolar animal version of the hulk. piper is weirdly calm and seductive with her “you think what i tell you to think” voice. annabeth is methodical and sneaky and alarmingly brutal. nico is just creepy as hell. and hazel’s like a freaky witch with all her voodoo magic shit

chiron: all great descriptions. and percy?

leo: oh percy’s just a crazy son of a bitch

chiron, chuckling: and you’re not?

leo: hey i may be ADHD off the walls, and i do make some crazy plans, but that dude should be deemed legally insane. i once saw him jump onto the back of a giant sea monster, stab it with a narwhal’s tusk, and then ride a great white shark around as he lassoed monsters with kelp ropes. and the entire time, he was singing a cage the elephant song

chiron, nodding thoughtfully: “ain’t no rest for the wicked?”

leo: no actually it was “around my head.” guy’s got great taste

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*Paul Blofis entering the Jackson/Blofis family apartment to find Jason helping Sally wash the dishes, Nico napping on the couch, Leo and Piper playing a heated game of Battleship, Reyna reading, Frank helping Sally and Jason dry the dishes, Hazel and Will deep in conversation, and Annabeth holding Estelle on her lap while Percy tries to make both of them laugh.*

Paul: Hello, demigods!

All: Hi, Paul!

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I honestly think that “the gods are real, and they have kids, and those kids have ISSUES” is still the best description of the Riordanverse I’ve heard to-date.

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Camp Jupiter kids are private school kids and Camp Half-Blood kids are public school.

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I wanted to put this on TikTok, but it’s getting banned in a couple of weeks and then I remembered this blog.

(Underneath the Connor comment)

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BRACE FOR THE STORM!

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OMG I LOVE HIM! The shirt? Immaculate. The beard? Immaculate. HIS THIGHS? Immaculate.

@aura-likes-all-the-things ur post gave me the debilitating urge to put him in a bluey shirt thanks

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I think my favorite part about my feed being half EPIC and half Arcane is i keep seeing a shaggy man with a beard that looks like he lost everything… and I never can tell if it’s Odysseus or Jayce.

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POSEIDON (and Jay) !! ✨

Jorge: ¡Poseidón, mira! ¡Tengo un live en 30 minutos y toda esta lluvia interfiere con mi misión! ¡Tengo un fandom esperando!

Poseidón: Este humano... Su actitud me recuerda a...

Jorge y Odiseo Epic!: ¿No estás cansado, Poseidon? ¡Han pasado siglos!

P: ¡...ODISEO! *caen rayo, c asusta y se va* *El internet vuelve y Jorge es feliz* Fin.

 I did this because to the storm when Jorge and the cast showed up in Ithaca. And a little Odysseus reincarnation AU? Why not have some fun with it, right? (Aguante el AU de reencarnación, es lo mejor.)