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audiobutt · 12 days ago

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Longing

Halsin x Fem!Reader

A/N: I have been burning with an intense CRAVING for Halsin and there is such little fic about him (although there are some good ones out there 👀) so I had to do my part and add to the pool 😏 hope y’all enjoy!

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, reader is insecure about her virginity, talks of inexperience, love confessions, Halsin is a sweetheart, references to NSFW content. Very very minor spoilers for act 2.

Part 2

The fur of the rabbit is soft between your fingers as you prepare it. Yet, despite having a knife in your other hand and your task being a delicate one, you can’t seem to focus.

Your eyes keep drifting back to the druid across camp chopping wood for the fire. The axe is a large one, heavy - heavier than you’d be able to lift. Yet the large elf manages to bring it up above his head and swing it back down with a grace you never understood how he possessed.

The muscles in his shoulders ripple with each movement, accompanying the rythmic thump of the axe through wood. His soft grunts as he pulls it from the stump he’s using before placing the next log onto the surface and starting the process all over again.

“The rabbit is already dead, darling.”

The familiar voice rips you from your staring as your head whips around to see none other than your vampiric companion standing over you, a smirk tugging at his lips. You huff at him before looking down to the rabbit by your knees and heat rushes to your cheeks. What should have been a simple skinning job to get the meat ready for dinner has turned into a mess. Cuts in the wrong places, the hide nowhere near usable anymore.

You look back up just in time to see Astarions red eyes go from you, to Halsin, then back again. His smile grows. He shifts his feet, one arm resting across his chest as he gestures with his other to Halsin.

“You know, you could paint a portrait. It would last longer.”

Your cheeks somehow get even hotter, as you turn back to the rabbit in front of you, doing a much better job than earlier.

“Leave me alone, Astarion,” you mumble, cursing internally when the elf lowers himself to the ground beside you, arms resting on his knees.

“And why would I do that, when teasing you gives me so much joy?”

You can’t stop the small smile that tugs at your lips. “Okay, well you got me all flustered. So now that’s out of the way, did you need something or did you really interrupt your reading to bother me?”

The vampire sighs, leaning back on his hands as he looks over to you. “What I need is for you to finally jump that druids bones.”

You nearly choke as the words leave his lips, looking around to see if anyone heard and feeling heat creep up your neck once more as you see Shadowheart failing to hide a chuckle.

You turn to face your friend, eyes narrowed. “Could you be a little more quiet? I don’t need the whole camp hearing you.”

Astarion laughs this time, loudly, and it draws more glances than you’d like. You roughly shove the man next to you before he can speak.

“Your next words better be a whisper or I’m going to stab you ” you threaten, poking the knife in his direction.

Astarion places a hand over his heart, faux hurt in his eyes. “You wound me, darling. I’m just trying to help you. Plus,” he gestures to the camp, “it’s not like your attraction is a secret, nor Halsin’s.”

You shake your head turning back to grab another rabbit, embarrassment welling up in your chest. “He doesn’t…” you trail off, getting defensive. “Nothing’s there, Astarion. So can we please just drop it?”

Of course, he doesn’t.

“Look,” he starts, “all I’m trying to say is that neither of you are benefiting from holding back so…indulge, for once. Gods know we all deserve it.”

You ignore him. Curling in on yourself at the mention of…indulging. There nothing wrong with it of course. Everyone at camp has blown off steam along this adventure. Just…not you.

And the vampire must be able to tell too, because at your silence he straightens up, brows pinching in the rare way that shows he’s concerned.

“Wait, have you never…?” he gestures vaguely in the air.

His words, despite their genuine curiosity, strike a chord in you. You stand abruptly, tossing your work to the ground and stabbing your knife in the dirt.

“No I haven’t. Not that it’s any of your business.” Your words are louder than you intended and draw the eyes and ears of your other companions.

Astarion softens, obviously not expecting this reaction. “I didn’t mean to upset you-“

You clench your fists at your sides, interrupting him. “You never mean to Astarion but -“ You cut yourself off, taking a deep breath. “You’re such an ass sometimes.”

You turn on your heel and storm from camp before anyone can stop you, ignoring the concerned gaze of a certain druid.

———

The water is cool against your skin as you squat by the stream’s edge, rubbing at your hands as you try to get the blood off of them.

You feel foolish now, storming off like that. But Astarion pointing out your inexperience just struck you. It’s not something that’s ever bothered you before. Especially not in recent months since dealing with the tadpole. You all have more important things to worry about.

But the moment you rescued Halsin…it’s like something changed. You were instantly drawn to him. His kind smile and thoughtful words. His care for everyone and everything in nature.

And he flirted with you.

The memory is still fresh in your mind. The night of the tiefling party after you had stopped the ritual at the druid camp and saved Halsin. You were worried you were talking his ear off, but he was attentive the whole conversation. Answering your questions and asking some about you.

Then he said those honeyed words. Suggested celebrating by spending the night with someone special. Implied he would spend it with you if his mind wasn’t elsewhere.

You withdraw your hands from the water to drag them down your face as more memories surface.

More flirtatious banter and kind words. Thoughtful conversations and fighting side by side. The night sat by your bedside nursing you back to health after a particularly nasty fight. After Ketheric Thorm almost took you out.

Your side still aches with the memory. But the thought of his hands with their soothing healing glow, makes the ache subside.

You sigh, sitting back into the grass as your eyes lock onto the slowly gurgling stream, Astarion words playing over and over in your head.

Indulge, for once.

You want to. Gods do you want that.

You’ve spent many sleepless nights thinking about it. About his lips against yours, his hands on your skin, the sweet words he’d no doubt whisper against your ear.

You shudder at the thought before shoving it away. Because any time he hinted at that - showed any interest in you - you would be so elated before insecurity took over.

Halsin’s views on love and intimacy are no secret. You’d asked him once about current lovers and while he did confide no one currently held his affections back home he also expressed that there were others in the past.

Others. Plural.

And you’ve never been with anyone. Not physically or emotionally, you’ve never trusted anyone enough.

Not until now.

You sigh, frustration creeping back in as you press the heels of your palms into your eyes before quickly standing up. You need to apologize to Astarion and finally, maybe, talk to Halsin.

You turn on your heel to do just that when you run straight into a solid mass. You gasp, stumbling backwards just as two strong hands reach out to steady you, gripping your wrists firmly.

Once steady, you look up to see none other than the man haunting your thoughts smiling down at you.

“You must have been very deep in thought for someone like me to sneak up on you, little one.”

You have to suppress a shiver at the nickname. A moniker he’d given you since you teased him about his size at the beginning of your friendship.

You shake your head, moving to step away and only stopping when his hands let go only to slip down and take your own gently.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize. “I was just…thinking.”

Halsin stares at you for a moment, a thoughtful look on his face before he steps away, gesturing down the first path, one hand still in your own.

“Walk with me?” he asks. “I know being in nature helps me clear my head of even the darkest thoughts.”

You give a hesitant nod and follow him as he turns towards the path, not able to stop the smile when he doesn’t drop your hand.

———

The walk is mostly silent, a comfortable silence, but silent nonetheless. And you are grateful for it, not sure what you would say if Halsin were to ask what has you so upset.

But, silence can’t last forever it seems, because eventually the large Druid breaks through the sounds of nature surrounding you to speak.

“I overheard your conversation with Astarion,” he says, voice gentle. Probing, but not not forcing you to talk if you do not wish.

You stiffen, your pace slowing slightly, wanting to pull away from the man at your side. But his sure grip on your hand keeps you in place. The warmth of his skin on yours puts you slightly at ease.

“You…you heard that?” you ask, cringing internally. “You were across camp.”

The druid chuckles, gesturing to his ears with his free hand. “One of the curses of us elves. Impeccable hearing. Even when we don’t wish for it.”

You can feel your shoulders creeping up to your ears. Embarrassment settling in once more. “You were listening to us? To me?”

Halsin shrugs. “Not intentionally,” he admits, slowing his steps until you’re both stopped and he’s facing you. “But I find my attention turning towards you more often than not these days.”

His words tie your tongue and before you can gather enough sense to respond he continues.

“Nature works in mysterious ways, little one,” he tells you, eyes never leaving your face. “There is no one way to traverse it, and others journey do not define your own. Each one is unique, as it is intended.”

His words are beautifully woven, as always. And despite his cryptic deliverance, you know the meaning behind his words.

He’s comforting you. And once again, he speaks before you can detangle the jumble of thoughts in your head.

“And,” he reaches out, placing a curled finger beneath your chin to urge you to look up at him, “if it’s any encouragement, I seek you out as much as you do me. Possibly more so.”

Your eyes widen, heart stuttering in your chest at his words. He…does he feel the same way? Rationally you know he does. But that ever familiar self doubt, the tiny voice in your mind has always brushed away the flirting - the kind words and gentle touches as just part of his nature. None of it is reserved just for you.

Right?

Halsin smiles, eyes crinkling at the corners gently as he looks down at you. “Is that really such an outlandish thought? That I return your affections?” He pauses, “unless my heart has run ahead of itself and I have misread-“

You stop him then, reaching up to place a staying hand on his own beneath your chin.

“No! You haven’t…you haven’t misread,” you assure him, trying to still your racing heart.

His smile never falters, his other hand finally coming up to cradle the back of your head, teasing soft strands of hair between his fingers.

“That is good to hear,” he says, pulling you ever closer, his nose almost brushing yours, “it puts this old druid's mind at rest.”

Gods, you can’t breathe. The air in your lungs refusing to expel as he lean even closer, lips a hairbreadth away from your own. Your body sings with anticipation, your skin hot despite the cool air ushered in by the sun sinking below the horizon, the days last rays barely filtering through the trees.

“Can I kiss you, my heart?”

Halsins words are soft, barley a whisper and nearly drowned out by the sounds of nature around you and the roaring of blood in your ears.

You nod. “Please-“

The word barely passes your lips before he descends upon you, sealing his mouth with your own.

It’s both everything you expected and completely surprising at the same time. His hands are sure as he pulls you into him, one hand still cradling your head as the other slips down to your hip before wrapping around your waist. Yet his lips, the kiss itself is…soft. Gentle. Loving. The action speaks louder than any words either of you have said to one another. Louder than the words you never worked up the courage to speak.

Finally, your mind catches up with you, and your hands slide up his chest to clutch tentatively at his shoulders.

Halsins still hasn’t broken away from you, and when his tongue brushes against your lips you let him in. You tug him closer then, one of your hands sliding up to rest at the back of his neck eliminating any empty space between you as his tongue slides against your own.

He only pulls away when he must sense your need for air, but he doesn’t go far, lips pressing gently to the corner of your own, and then another to your jaw.

You’re breathless.

Chest heaving against him, as he pulls away just enough to look at you once more.

“As much as I’d love to continue…” his hand squeezes your hip gently, “we should make our way back to camp. I can imagine our absence as stirred gossip with our vampiric companion and..” he sighs, pressing another soft kiss to your lips. “I don’t want to overwhelm you.”

You can’t surprise the shiver that runs down your spine, or the smile that tugs at your lips.

“I’m…I’m okay being overwhelmed if it’s like that,” you tell him breathlessly.

Halsin laughs, a deep down genuine laugh that makes your heart sing even as he steps away from you.

“Then I will overwhelm you in all the ways I know how.” He promises, eyes trailing over you heatedly.

Your stomach does a flip at his words, and the effect they have on you must show on your face because Halsin chuckles again, leaning in to press one last kiss to your cheek before tugging you back in the direction towards camp.

“Another night, my heart,” he says, thumb brushing over your knuckles from where your hand remains in his own.

You let out a shaky breath, and nod, smiling as you walk closer to him. “I’m holding you to that.”

“I hope you would, though I doubt I will forget such a promise,” he assures before letting silence blanket you both one more.

You can’t stop the thrill that runs through you at his words.

Yes, I’ll hold you to that promise indeed.

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audiobutt · 22 days ago

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#D:

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audiobutt · 26 days ago

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in the afterglow (of an orgy) | bg3 companions x tav

cw: i'm not catholic but i feel like i sinned with this. gangbang turns into a orgy: the most dangeous polycule in the making. established relationships/developing relationships. m/m, f/f, m/f. cum swallowing. i am just a whore for tavrem.

an: happy 1th bg3 anniversary! i already love those characters more than i love my brother (wink wink). a bit late, my mom's birthday was my priority, but there we go!

They almost broke you.

You could still feel it all. A sort of discomfort that can only exist after immense pleasure. Those lingering touches on your burned skin. The deep bites collaring your neck, scratches on your back and nape. Dried tears staining your cheeks. Raw lips, just like the insides of your thighs.

Will you still feel it all tomorrow? Will their kisses, bites, slaps, hands, still be covering your body once you have to come back to old harsh life? Oh, yes, it will. That pain and pleasure inflicted on you won't suddenly dissapear. It will fade eventually, but you will still have bruises to gaze upon for some time. You prefer it that way. Everytime it aches, you'll think about them.

But not now. For now, there is nothing on your mind. Not a worry, not a memory, not a dream: all you have is moonlight's embrace and the warmth of the bonfire.

Such a loud silence took over the camp. As if it could even be called silence. Heavy breathing and soft whimperings. Moans so loud they still eccho into their heads. Such a filthy harmony.

"Hells", Wyll was the first to speak. He couldn't say much more than that.

Karlach groaned, her throat let out a sob almost palpable. Her whole body burned hotter. Smoke came out of her mouth, and Wyll wondered where she found the cigar. When. If she had more to spare. "More like heavens."

It wasn't planned. It wasn't expected. It was a hard day, and it turned into a cold night. In some moment in between those two, someone had to start it. This. Not that any of them could remember who did.

It was normal for you to kiss one of them when surrounded by the others, but you were always aware of the weight of their gaze. Some prefer to pretend it wasn't happening—Gale and Karlach would suddenly find something so interesting in their hands to look at. Others would enjoy it—Shadowheart and Wyll know how the other taste, and have shared a fair amount of wine watching you with Astarion.

And still, there was a line you decided to not cross. A point where you would stop, no matter with who you were, no matter who surrounded you. They all respected it, just like you did theirs. Shadowheart would tease, some would pout, but none would make you feel less than safe with them.

But then, someone had to start this. They really can't remember, the beggining of the night dizzy and so far away, but somehow they know who decided to do that. You. It could only be you.

Gale put on his navy robe, his cheeks burning brighter than the bonfire. Once he disappeared inside his tent, Astarion rolled his eyes and went back to watch the stars.

He knew it would make things too complicated. Shit, he knew it, but he wanted it. Wasn't it already difficult to be with you? It took him too long to understand you, to trust you, and now because of a night he might have weakened his bond with all other companions.

Not that they even matter that much. You're the strongest between them. Astarion needs to be safe, and you proved again and again that you can do that. Let the others suck on their own insecurities. Astarion will make sure to have you by his side when he avenges himself.

Lying to himself won't change the fact Astarion chose to do everything he did. It was all a choice. Every kiss, every bite, every thrust. And so did that damned wizard. Astarion will keep on lying to himself, pretending not to notice as his heart shatters once more.

Then he felt the blanket over his skin. Astarion opened his eyes, and this time he couldn't look away from the mark on Gale's neck. "Oh, darling, you can be sweet", Astarion bit his tongue. "Unlike your blood."

Gale sighed. He kneeled besides you, covering your body. You were already dozzing off, but he saw a tiny smile spreading across your face. "How you feeling, my love?"

"Gross", you whispered. Gale chuckled, his thumb carressed your lips. You knew your whole body was covered in cum, but you couldn't care less once he licked his finger. "I can still feel you inside me. All of you."

A cold hand touched yours. Shadowheart was the last to get tired enough to stop. Her leg is intertwined with yours, now covered thanks to Gale, her knees stiff against your core.

"You've been so good", her voice, so soft, felt like a lullaby. You gazed at her lips. Such tender words for someone who rode your face calling you a whore. "What do you want, lover?"

Supporting yourself on your elbows, you tried to get up. Once your clit brushed against her knee, you whimpered. Shadowheart stared at you, and Gale held your arms. "I'll get clean", you said, waiting for them to give you space to move.

"Not so fast, dove", Shadowheart sat, the blanket falling and revealing her beautiful body. She was as burned as you. "You took all of us. If you can walk, then I will be scared."

Gale sat besides you, supporting you on his chest. You were sat now, but not any closer to getting up. "You are a sight", he whispered against your ear. "Let us care for you."

"I feel dirty", you said. "I just want to get clean."

Wyll raised from his spot, and Karlach watched as he walked away from her. She felt the lack of his weight on her chest.

She still burns. Less than she used to, but she does. And yet, there is not a person without the markes of her hands and lips. Karlach burned every single one of you, and no one wanted her to stop.

Karlach is used to feeling cold. It was so lonely and for so long. That's the first time in a while she feels hot and it isn't a bad thing.

"Is that a pout?" She teased. You wanted for her to be closer to you, but by the way her legs tremble you knew Karlach couldn't move. So did you. "Don't make me bite it out of you. Sit down and relax. You fucking earned it."

Wyll came back carrying towels and soap. Watching him, you relaxed against Gale's body. He kneeled in between your legs, and the first thing he did was to kiss your forehead.

"They are right", Wyll joined them in this little quest of preventing you from moving. "You've been so good. For all of us. Now let us take care of you, doll."

Wyll then kissed your knuckles, whispering sweet nothings against your skin. As if you both didn't knew his cum was deep inside your ass.

"Astarion, get her something to eat", a voice from behind you made you shiver. "Gale, we need a bath. You can warm water, can't you Shadowheart?"

"Oh, dear Lae'zel, I fear I can't." Shadowheart rolled her eyes, moving her hands as a rune appeared on the floor.

They can banter for however longer they want it. Everyone knows how long they spend fighting one another to ensure they would be on top. Between the two of them, it was more a battle than sex.

Exactly what you said they needed.

A purple glow you saw by the corner of your eyes worked as a telltale of Gale's magic. Only when you saw the bath floating until it reached the runes you understood it. They were about to bath you.

The camp was no longer silent. Watching the chaos of it all, Astarion chuckled to himself and went after something for everyone to eat.

Nothing changed.

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

general taglist: @lovelyy-moonlight

baldur's gate 3 taglist: @citrusbunnies

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

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audiobutt · 1 month ago

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being 4 legged probably feels good as hell you're literally made to be twice as good at walking around. and baby i love walking around

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audiobutt · 2 months ago

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im sick of signing in to things

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audiobutt · 2 months ago

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I was promised nerdy loser Fandom obsessed freaks but you're all like beautiful women with multiple degrees and a circle of friends

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audiobutt · 2 months ago

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“Reckon I’m still better-looking than you.”

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audiobutt · 2 months ago

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connor (rk800) masterlist 𐚁₊⊹

♡ fluff | ☆ angst | ☾ smut | ⟡ drabble

♡☆ without you - 1.9k summary: it's been almost three days since you last saw connor. with the ongoing revolution, you're concerned about his whereabouts. and if you'll ever see him again.

♡☆ beautifully human - 2.9k summary: after noticing the way connor looks at other androids, you worry that you may never have a chance with him. but what you don't know is that he has only ever had eyes for you.

♡ breaking point - 1.6k summary: to prove which of you is the better detective, you and connor like to play a little game. this time around, connor is more determined than ever to reach your breaking point.

♡ chasing rainbows - 3.6k summary: you recently learned that connor has only ever seen the world in one color. gutted at the thought of such a colorless world, you decide to help connor see the beauty of the world. only he doesn't care about the world. he only cares about you.

☆♡ future of us - 2k summary: after finding a box of home videos, you're overwhelmed with thoughts of the future. only connor can ease your worries.

⟡♡ framed - 1k summary: you're very confused when you find a photograph of yourself on connor's desk.

♡☆ helping hand - 1.6k summary: connor comes to help you when you don't need him. again.

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audiobutt · 2 months ago

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“I WALK THE LINE” JAVIER GARCIA X TOUGH FEM!READER

SUMMARY : You are the leader of The New Frontier and you’ve won the heart of both brothers but you’re only interested in the baseball player.

ADDITIONAL : So that there is no confusion, this takes place after the events of killing Joan only that then you became leader. Also Clem never got kicked out and lives with you and AJ. Mariana never died. And there’s just things that are tweaked in the story but will make sense as you read.

WARNINGS : Cursing, suggestive content, talks about religion, and maybe more

There was something about you that made you so intriguing yet utterly horrifying to Javi. Maybe it was because you acted somewhat like his brother and were in a solider mindset. Or maybe it was the way you spoke about death like you weren’t afraid of it. Maybe it was because you were so beautiful yet so deadly. Or maybe it was just you period.

Javi had met you when he came into the New Frontier seeing as you were the leader and David was your second in command. His first impression? You were hard to impress. You didn’t care about anything really other than the mission at hand but Javi saw more through you.

You caught on to the fact that Kate had feelings for him and would relentlessly joke about it to Javi which irritated him to no end. He didn’t have feelings for her. He never did. Not for his brother’s wife.

He saw how history may soon repeat because even though you were not with David romantically, it was clear he wanted to be with you romantically. Though, he would never admit it. David took pride in his reputation and him falling for you didn’t look good considering he technically already had a wife.

Javi was after all, a man at the end of the day and could tell by just looking at the two of you. The longing looks David had for you. How he would at least try to control his temper around you. How you were the only one to keep him in check.

And Javi hated it.

He just couldn’t tell if you felt the same way back and until he did so, he would keep hitting on you. Even in front of his brother.

Javi played with the ring on his finger that belonged to his father while watching you. You were looking over some papers to see about your supply chain in the doctors office alone. Javi took it as his chance to stroll over to you.

He watched you look up from your papers and down. “What do you want twenty five?”

Twenty five was the nickname that was quickly given to him while you discovered of his baseball history. He didn’t mind it though. He thought it was cute. And he thought more that you liked him. At least a little.

“I can’t come in a check on you?” Javi asked fake offended.

“I don’t need you to do that. I already have David breathing down my neck.” Javi watched as you winced and held your stomach.

You gotten a pretty bad gash on your stomach from Badger and it wasn’t looking so good. Usually David was tough around everyone but the wound was so bad that he was starting to worry.

And if David of all people was worrying than it had to be that bad.

Javi took the papers out your hand and made you sit on top of the desk. “Hey, sit down.”

You sighed in annoyance. “Not you too.”

“Hey, if the big bad wolf is worried…then it’s gotta be bad.” Javi noticed your eye roll and chuckled.

You leaned back a little. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him. He’s been acting weird. I can’t put my finger on it.”

Of course, Javi knew exactly what was wrong. The problem was David wanted you but he didn’t want you. He wanted you in the best possible ways but he didn’t want the baggage that would come with that.

Lucky for Javi, he didn’t mind baggage. “David isn’t used to caring about something.” Javi put it into simple terms. “Just give him a second.”

“You’re too nice to him. Because the way he treats you…if I had a sister and she did me the way he did you…she wouldn’t be breathing.”

Javi laughed. “Well…Clementine’s kinda like your sister isn’t she?”

“Well yeah. But she doesn’t tell me how much of a failure I am every second.”

That was true. For Javi, it was hard dealing with David but he had gotten so used to it that it didn’t even affect him anymore. “It’s like wired in my brain. I know he loves me he just…has a funny way of showing it.”

“Yeah. You’re telling me.”

Javi noticed that you clutched your stomach in pain again. “Let me see.”

You gave him a look. “Is this your excuse of trying to see me shirtless.”

“I would’ve came up with something better if that’s the case.”

The statement made you laugh a little and you lifted your shirt for Javi to see the scar.

It was bad. A stab to the right and it would’ve been over for you. The stitches were nicely done. “Who did these?”

“Clementine…still don’t know how she knows how to do that.”

Javi nodded in agreement. “That’s one tough kid.” His hand gently went to caress the scar. He was so glad that badger was dead.

You watched as Javi’s expression went from worry to anger. A similar expression you had seen on David. You took Javi’s hand and held it. “I’m fine. Relax. It could’ve been worse.”

“Yeah. That’s the problem. It could’ve went worse.”

“Luckily you shot him in the head huh?”

“I wish I could do it twice.”

It was moments like these you saw the similarities to Javi and David and you couldn’t help but laugh because it was something you expected from David but not Javi.

You got off from the desk and Javi helped you off. You were about to fall but Javi quickly caught you and held you close. “Careful.” He told you. “That supply chain isn’t going anywhere.”

“You know if I don’t do it, David is definitely not doing it.”

Javi chuckled and helped you stand to your feet. “That’s one thing about him. All about the action. Hates the paperwork.”

“You know what else David is gonna hate?”

Javi looked at you curiously. “What?”

You covered your mouth as sort of a playful whisper. “You banging his wife.”

Again with the joke, Javi watched you laugh as he groaned out of annoyance. You walked out the room and Javi followed in pursuit. “How many times do I have to tell you, nothing is going on between me and her.”

“Well obviously she wants you.”

“I don’t want her.”

You playfully gasped in shock to him and stopped walking making him stop. “You don’t want thee Kate Garcia?” Javi rolled his eyes. “What will the world do if they didn’t have twenty five in their life?”

You went back to walking and Javi followed in pursuit. “Hey, I had a lot of women wanting twenty five in their life thank you very much.”

“Oh yeah? Were they all offered to hitch a ride to the psych ward afterwards?”

“Oh very funny.”

“I know. I’m a true comedian really.”

Javi had never seen you this way around anyone really. You were always so cold. So negative but with him you weren’t like that.

That made him believe you two had something.

Javi walked right in front of you to stop you in your tracks. “Busy tonight?”

“Actually, I was totally looking forward to my nail and hair appointment.” You said sarcastically. “Ooh! Or maybe go sight seeing with walkers!”

“Taking that as a no…” He trailed off before speaking again. “I need help with the count on food for next week.”

“Oh and you’re just so helpless that you need me?”

“Exactly.”

You rolled your eyes playfully before nodding. “Sure. I guess.”

You went to take another step but the sudden pain pinched at your gut and you clutched your stomach. Javi immediately held you by the waist and brought you closer. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

Javi knew you weren’t fond of touch but you never seemed to mind when he held you.

The two of you heard footsteps coming from down the hall. Javi was about to remove his hands from your waist but you placed your hands on top of his, keeping them firm in place.

The person stopped in their tracks and you two recognized it was David.

He gave the two of you a look of disgust before looking at his brother in anger. “What the hell is going on?”

“Nothing.” You stated calmly. “Just slight pain.”

David immediately walked over to you and grabbed the papers in your hand. He looked at them before getting annoyed. “I told you I would do this.”

“You’re not going to do it the correct way.” You told him.

“Yes I will.” He looked over at Javi. “What are you doing here?”

Javi, knowing the reason why David was being like this, rolled his eyes at him. “Just helping, (Y/N). Relax.”

“Don’t tell me to relax.” When David said that, you gave him a good hard smack on his chest.

“Shut up, you idiot. You’re so annoying sometimes.”

Javi watched as David took a deep breath in and out. He noticed his brother was trying to control his temper and it was working. Once again, he controlled his anger for you.

“Look, come on. I’ll help you.” He practically pushed Javi off of you and held onto your waist as you started walking away.

“You’re being ridiculous.” You grumbled.

“I’m not being ridiculous. You are.”

Javi sighed slightly watching him walk away with you but he wasn’t worried. Not even in the slightest.

When Javi turned around, he jumped back a little. He wasn’t expecting for Clementine to be there. “Ay’ dios mio, do you always sneak up behind people?”

“I wasn’t sneaking.” Clementine defended. “I was going to talk to (Y/N) but I see your brother already hauled her off somewhere.”

“Yeah.” Javi crossed his arms. “He hasn’t let her breathe ever since…”

Clementine nodded. “I think it’s because he’s mad.”

“Mad?” Javi questioned. “Why would he be mad?”

“Mad at you.”

“Me? What did I do?…This time?”

Clementine smiled slightly before shaking her head. “You saved her. I think David wanted to be the one that was there.”

It made sense in some way but Javi still couldn’t understand. You were safe now. Why did it matter? “But she’s alive? Shouldn’t that be all that matters?”

“Not if it’s you involved.” Clementine walked over to the window and Javi followed her. There, they watched as David sat you down in a chair. “I’m not blind. I know he likes her. And I know you like her too.”

Javi wasn’t going to deny it. Especially because Clementine was already a smart kid. “You think it’s not worth it?”

“I think if you love someone, anything is worth it.” She said. “But is it worth losing your brother?”

David already lost Kate because of Javi. Was it fair he’d lose you to? Because of him?

This wasn’t fair. He didn’t ask to have feelings for you. They were just there. And he definitely didn’t ask for Kate to have feelings for him which David didn’t even know that he was the real reason they weren’t together anymore.

But you were worth everything.

When the stars shined in the sky, Javi put on his jersey and opened the door to walk out of his room. What he didn’t expect was to see Kate standing right there. “Oh…hey, Kate.”

Ever since Kate confessed her feelings for Javi and he rejected her, Javi felt it was best to keep his distance. If she was any other woman than it wouldn’t have been a problem. But she wasn’t just any woman. She was his brother’s wife.

“I was going to knock…where are you going?”

He really didn’t feel like getting into an argument with her as you and Kate did not get along but he also wasn’t one to lie. “Going to count the food supply with (Y/N).”

Kate scoffed. “She can’t do it herself?”

Javi suppressed an eye roll. He stepped out the room making her take a step back and closed the door before walking. “You know it’s my job right?”

“That doesn’t mean she needs to be with you. God it’s like ever since she got hurt you and David…”

“Hey I’ve been letting her do her own thing. David is the one that’s not letting her breathe.”

“It’s like he likes her or something…”

Javi caught the attitude in her voice. He wasn’t fond of David liking you either. Well that was because of his own feelings but why did Kate have a problem with it. “Does it matter? You broke up with him.”

He watched as Kate’s head went down in shame and she sighed. “Yeah. Look how that turned out.”

That made Javi stop in his tracks. He turned around and faced Kate, also making her stop. “Listen, I’m sorry how things turned out and I don’t mean to sound harsh but you got to let it go.”

“Let it go? You’re telling me to let my feelings go?”

“Yes. It’s wrong and I don’t want to be any part of it when David finds out the real reason you broke it off with him.”

Kate grabbed Javi’s hands and brought them to her. “So you’re saying if David wasn’t your brother you would be with me?”

Javi shook his head and took his hands back from her. “No Kate. Brother or not, I don’t feel anything for you. I care about you but I don’t love you. I’m sorry.”

Before Kate could get out a response, Javi’s radio started to sound like static. And then he heard your voice over it. “Twenty five. You ready?”

Javi grabbed his radio and pressed the button to speak. “Yeah. Where you want me to meet you at?”

“Just meet me at the warehouse. Also I like roses.”

Javi smiled knowing you were half joking. “Copy that.” He placed the radio on his belt and when he looked up, he saw Kate had an angry expression. “What?”

“You’re in love with her? Are you serious?”

“Kate…” Javi sighed out. “I’m not having this discussion with you.”

When Kate looked into his eyes all she saw was someone that didn’t care about her. “Unbelievable…” She mumbled before turning around and walking away.

“It’s like I’m in high school all over again.” Javi said to himself.

It didn’t matter if you were half joking, Javi still picked you out the prettiest rose from the garden you all were growing.

You were in the warehouse already counting the food while sitting on the ground. You had the burden of being leader ever since they took down Joan and the others which meant the responsibility of everyone fell on you.

Javi could tell you were stressed but you were good at not showing it. That’s what he loved about you. About how big your heart was despite you trying to act otherwise.

He walked over towards you and held out the rose. “This wasn’t my ideal date.”

You looked up and were surprised that he had gotten you a rose. You took it before looking up at him. “What was then?”

“You know…” Javi sat in front of you and grabbed one of the clipboards. “Dinner and a night out. Not being inside counting our dinner.”

You chuckled a little before resuming your count. “You know I don’t really miss how the world used to be.”

Javi raised a brow at this. “Why? What could be worse than people trying to eat you?”

“At least they can’t control them being monsters. But us…we can control that.”

Javi got what you were hinting towards. “Yeah, that’s true.”

You hit your pen on your clipboard, deep in thought. “Do you believe in God, Javi?”

“Yes…but I can see why someone wouldn’t.”

You nodded at his opinion. “I never did. Everyone always told me that God was always watching me…then why did he watch me as my father beat me? Or when my mother lit her cigarette on me? Or when my Uncle John forced me to drink liquor? Or when my cousin Rob killed my cat? Why did he always just watch and never do anything?”

“It doesn’t matter if I’m in my old life or this life…either way…it sucks both ways. Mind as well take the one that sucks less.”

Javi wasn’t surprised to hear what happened in your life only because it explained why you were the tough woman you are now.

He knew what you felt about sympathy and he knew you despised grievance so he took another approach. “Maybe God wanted you to suffer.”

At that, you looked at him, extremely confused but laughing. “What?”

Javi laughed with you. “Yeah, maybe he picked you because he specifically hated you and wanted you to suffer the most.”

You laughed hysterically and hit him with your clipboard. “Shut up.”

“I’m serious. He’s probably looking down right now and thinking, ‘damn I probably didn’t do enough.”

“You’re so stupid.” You said with a laugh.

Getting you to smile was one of the best things Javi could accomplish. You smiled like you were the happiest person in the world.

“I wish David could be like this. He’s too serious.”

When you said that, Javi decided to rip the bandaid off. “That’s because he’s in love with you.”

When he had said that, you looked up to him completely shocked. “What? No he isn’t…”

Javi nodded to confirm. “Yeah, he is. Come on, (Y/N). You’re the only person besides his kids that he checks up on constantly. Always worrying. The overbearing protectiveness. I mean he obviously has some feelings for you.”

You never really thought about it but now that you were, it was strange the way David would act around you. So strange it could come off as he had feelings for you.

You groaned and rubbed your temples in annoyance. “Oh no…”

Javi laughed as he had not expected that reaction. “What? You don’t like my brother?”

“Please. David is not anywhere near my type.”

“So what is your type?”

You saw how eager Javi was to know which made you thump his head with your thumb. “Not you.”

Though you were lying. Although Javi maybe wasn’t your ideal type, you sure wouldn’t complain if you had rode into the sunset with him. He was smart, handsome, emotionally intelligent while also having a sense of humor.

Javi looked back to his clipboard. “How do you want me to do the rations this week.”

“I say we stop doing those. They already get 3 meals a day without labor. A lot of them aren’t seeing the use of even working. If they want any extra food, they have to work harder. We’re giving out food and wasting it when we really don’t have to.”

Javi nodded. “That makes sense…how do you think David will feel about it though?”

“Not great when he finds out the rules also apply to his kids.” You say. “Look I love Mariana and Gabe but they’re old enough not to get any special treatment. The only one that is getting any special treatment is AJ and that’s only because he’s still a toddler.”

“Hey, I got your back if he says anything.”

“He shouldn’t. It was his stupid idea for me to be leader anyway.”

Javi hated when you spoke badly about yourself. After all the hard things you had to do, you didn’t deserve that. He gently grabbed your hand which made you look at him. “It wasn’t stupid. You’re a great leader. You’re the only one willing to make the hard calls.”

You sighed a little. “That’s what I hate about this. Help me up.”

Javi stood up on his feet first. Then he helped you slowly get up. You were groaning in pain. “I can get a wheelchair from the hospital you know?”

You hit his shoulder lightly. “Stop talking stupid.”

You tried to walk but the minute you did, your legs gave out from the pain. Luckily Javi was fast and caught you before you fell. “You are so stubborn.” He said to you.

He handed you his clipboard. You looked at him confused but took it. He then picked you up bridal style.

“Javi!” You gasped out in shock.

“Which way?” Javi asked, ignoring your shout.

You shook your head before pointing. “To the left…by the way you’re aren’t cool for doing this.”

“I think I’m very cool.”

The next day, Javi made sure to prepare himself. He was going to confess his feelings for you. He honestly didn’t think it would go bad. Whether you accepted him or rejected him, he wasn’t like Kate or David. If all he could do was be your friend then he would be just that.

It was early in the morning. Breakfast time which meant the community was in the dining hall eating.

He knew that usually at this time you were in your office by yourself so he made his way towards the room.

The door was wide open and there he saw David. It appeared to be that the two of you were arguing.

“My kids need food, (Y/N) and are used to eating the rations. Making the rule apply to them won’t help anything.”

“I hate to break it to you David, but they are not kids anymore. Far from it. If the people figure out you and your family get special treatment then I’m the one that gets all the angry people in this group at me. Not you, me.”

“This is stupid!”

Javi decided to make himself known. He walked into the office while looking at his brother. “David, Mariana and Gabe are both capable of going without the rations. They gotta work for it like everyone else.“

David turned to his brother in pure anger. He shoved Javi in the chest. “Stay out of it.”

You pushed yourself in between the two and faced David. “You just don’t want him in it because he’s the only one on my side.”

“I don’t want him involved because last time I checked, I was your second in command - not him. What the hell do you care for anyway? He’s pretty much useless.”

Javi wasn’t fazed at all by David’s comment as he was used to his behavior. You didn’t like it. Not at all. Javi saw your expression turn sad. You took a couple steps back from David. “Then maybe you shouldn’t be second in command anymore should you?”

David’s eyes widened at this. “Wait no. Come on, (Y/N). You don’t mean that.”

“Everywhere I go, you’re breathing over my shoulder and you’re suffocating me. And then the way you treat your brother just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.”

“I don’t treat him like anything! I-“

David went to grab your hands but you quickly pushed them away and continued your rant. “And then you’re always mad all the time. Mad at me.”

“I’m mad at you because I love you.”

Silence. Neither Javi nor you were expecting that. You didn’t even think David himself was expecting himself to say that. Javi was just thinking if he should just walk out the the room slowly and leave the two of your alone at this point.

“I don’t love you.”

Javi saw the expression on David’s face. It was hurt. A hurt he had never seen on his face. The type of hurt that was heart breaking. If David was capable of tears, Javi bet that David would be crying by now.

David held his head down as he walked out the office. You waited until he was completely gone before shutting the office door.

“That was…rough…” Javi said breaking the silence.

You sighed, rubbing your head. You felt a headache come in quick. “I can’t keep doing this with him. Walking on eggshells at every turn. I mean I know I’m not the best with emotions but at least I don’t spaze out on people every five minutes. It’s just…too much.”

It was pretty hard having a brother like David but Javi always made sure to not give into the hate and always have hope for him. “His brain isn’t wired how ours is. It’s like…you’re driving at 30 miles per hour. All the time. You’re safe and cautious of your surroundings. With him? He’s driving at 90. Full foot on the gas and not even bothering to hit the break…until he’s about to crash…and then it’s too late.”

You looked at Javi curiously. “Why do you do that? Your brother treats you like shit every single day and you defend him without blinking an eye.”

Javi walked over towards you before leaning on your desk right next to you. “Because…it’s just not worth it. Him being mad at me…me being mad at him…it’s a never ending cycle and I don’t want to partake in any of that.”

You nodded at him before sitting on top of your desk. “I don’t ever miss the old world exactly. I just missed what we could do in it….like eat a pizza, or go laser tagging, or watch tv…or get married…”

When you mentioned the last part, Javi turned to look at you interested. “Married? You wanted that?”

“I know it sounds corny but…I wanted a marriage and a kid…I wanted to have a family because well…I didn’t quite get that during my childhood.”

It made Javi a little upset that all the things you wished for, you couldn’t have because of the apocalypse. But then again, he was sort of glad this all happened because he probably wouldn’t have met you.

Javi looked at the ring on his finger before taking it off. He stood directly in front of you, grabbing your left hand. “I always thought that the marriage thing was for my brother.” You watched as he carefully slid the ring on your ring finger. “But I guess when you really love someone, the idea to you isn’t so crazy.”

You caught on to his confession and you were surprised. Javi chuckled at your surprise but didn’t take it as rejection. “Oh come on, mi amor. You had to of known I at least liked you a little.”

He didn’t wait for your response. He leaned down and kissed you. When Javi kissed you, you felt safe. Like it was home.

You brought your hand to cup the back of his neck. He kissed you lovingly. Like he had loved you for a century.

His lips were like cotton candy. Soft and delicious. His hands were rough but felt so good going along your thigh.

Javi moaned in your mouth when you gripped his hair. He felt your other hand reach the belt of his pants and when he felt that you were about to undo it, he stopped.

He placed his hand over yours while resting his forehead on yours. “You still haven’t healed yet.” He said, reminding you of your wound on your stomach.

You giggled. “What? Are you trying to say that thing can hurt me?”

“Maybe…” Javi gave you a sweet kiss on the lips before sighing. “David is going to be so pissed at me.”

You made Javi look you in the eye. “Stop worrying about what he wants. Worry about what you want.”

Javi always put everything he’d ever wanted to the side because of his brother’s jealousy and insecurities. He was done doing that. He didn’t want to keep living the life of pleasing him.

He just wanted you.

“How do we tell him?”

You shrugged. “It’s not ours to tell. You don’t owe him anything, Javi.”

Javi felt you press your lips onto his and suddenly he was back to his safe home.

The only thing was that the blinds to the window was opened and someone saw the two of you.

It took a lot for David to be heartbroken. He was a strong man. Not just physically but emotionally. He barely felt sadness. Just anger but he was tired of feeling it.

He should’ve known you didn’t feel the same way. Why would you? He was the guy always mad at the world. Who would want to be with someone like that? It was the reason Kate left.

First his first wife, then Kate, and now you.

He couldn’t catch a break.

David couldn’t sleep as the guilt was surfacing. Everyone he did or has ever done just wasn’t washing away. Not this time.

He was sitting at the kitchen table, just staring off with his thoughts.

That was until there was a knock on the door.

David peaked up from his seat. It had to of been ten at night. Who would come to him at the ungodly hour? Maybe you?

He stood before walking over to the door. He opened it and there he saw Kate. Someone he hadn’t expected.

“Kate…are you okay? Why are you here so late?”

Kate looked the same. Heartbroken as well but he couldn’t really put a finger on why she was. She didn’t give him another word before pushing herself inside his house.

“Okay…” David closed the door to his house and looked back at Kate who had her back turned to him. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

He heard her breathe in and out like she was trying not to cry. “I need to tell you the truth. The reason why I actually broke things off.”

“The truth?” David was confused. Was what she told him before not the truth? “Why are you just now telling me?”

“Because you need to know. You deserve it.”

There was something about her voice that made it seem like she was more so doing it for her and not him but regardless it was late at night and he couldn’t care less. “Kate it’s done and over with. Whatever it was…I don’t even care anymore.”

“It’s Javi.”

It was like she knew that would spark his attention. His eyes widened and he took steps towards her. “What do you mean by that?”

Kate sighed and turned to face him. “When me and him were on the road with the kids for so long…I really saw a different side to him. Not the same one obsessed with gambling and laying on your couch hoping for the next bag of money to roll in. I saw someone who was brave, and protective, and over all one of the best people I’ve ever met. I fell in love with him.”

David bit his lip. The same way he tried to control his temper with you, he was trying to control it now. “What? My brother? Are you serious Kate?!”

“I know…I know…it doesn’t matter because he doesn’t feel the same way. It’s just…I thought you should know.”

David cared but only a little. He wasn’t in love with Kate anymore. There wasn’t really anything for him to be mad at. “I can’t believe this..”

Kate looked into his eyes before stepping forward. “There’s something else…I know you care about, (Y/N).” Before David could get in a word, Kate held her hand up. “Let me finish. I know you do…but there’s something you should know so you don’t get caught off guard…I saw her and Javi kissing. I think they’re together now.”

David stood there, completely in shock. He would have never imagined it’d be you. That you’d fall for a guy like Javi. A guy that was his brother.

He couldn’t imagine Javi even having any feelings for you. He was just in shock.

Kate knew him too well and knew what was coming next. “I just thought you should know…” She opened the door to the house before leaving, closing it behind her.

It was at that point David grabbed a vase and smashed it into the wall.

There was no controlling his temper anymore. Not even you.

A/N : part 2???

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