atlas-of-the-woods

[atlas-of-the-woods]

[atlas-of-the-woods]

[atlas-of-the-woods]

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[atlas-of-the-woods]

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[atlas-of-the-woods]

I CANT i can t please do nt let them do not let ME

please please please pleas eplea sdlpela f epls epalepas pelse please pleas elpeasel pleas epla ep

[atlas-of-the-woods]

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[atlas-of-the-woods]

I cannot drink from the cup

i absolutely cannot

i will not

i have to ty and hold onto domething even as the earth tries to suck me in

i cannot

[atlas-of-the-woods]

'to lose one's self -lose it utterly. And in losing it be born to the principle of continuous life, outside the prison of mortality and time. That had been attractive to me from the first.' -The Secret History, Donna Tartt

[atlas-of-the-woods]

what is happening to me? I fear it is too late to turn back. is anyone evven there, can you even hear me? Please, i dont know who i am anymore. Or.... no. it is not that. it is that, i do not know who i am not.

oh to have the blessing of idiocy. how i wish i didnt have to comprehend such a life as i have doomed myself to live.

'Forgive me, for all the things I did but mostly for the ones I did not.' -the secret history, Donna Tartt

[atlas-of-the-woods]

You never know, it might make me euphoric. I could drink it andd then the woods are suddently rolling hills. rolling rolling rolling

milk and honey

running in streams running through the hills

wnads of ivy and how could they not be and what if the yare

do i not owe her, id there such a thing as to owe, is it not enough to be born and to live but we must owe and for what indefinate reason and can i if i really wanted to could i and would i but i wish her all the best in the world i really do and if to make her at peace as death but strength in life 'alive enough to have the strength to die' should I not do it? Is it not my duty

please please please just please just please i wanna be loved by you just you and nobody else but you

and the seccret, every lifes single desire and suffocation of humanity lies upon the shoulders of that one small cup. that swirling liquid that intices me with its intensity, and beckons me into the utter freedom and rawness of insanity

[atlas-of-the-woods]

maybe i should go back and see if it is still there

[atlas-of-the-woods]

I keep on thinking about that cup. I wonder what's in it? I couldn't make out any particular drink inside of it, what would happen if I did drink from it? What would happen to me?

[atlas-of-the-woods]

i followed her and found this

a cup and saucer

but it freaked me out so I left

[atlas-of-the-woods]

mother calls

[atlas-of-the-woods]

nature alone can distort fancy into reality

[atlas-of-the-woods]

Shes speaking to me. not in words, but shes speaking to me. she is telling me to be careful. She is trying to warn me of something, something bad is going to happen. She had sons, something bad happened to them too. She just wants to protect me, that’s all. shes a mother and she just wants to protect me.

[atlas-of-the-woods]

sometimes i like to eat my lunch by the lake and watch the ducks swim by. Today, i sat on the bench as usual, and who else but our friend was on the opposite side of the lake. me watching her and her watching me. I am starting to grow quite fond of them. I feel comforted when I see them now. I want to get closer to them, talk to them. maybe we could be friends.