athirahcomel

[athirahcomel]

Ive started my journey as a legal associate. These are my first 4days working outfit. Outfit hari keempat takde. I hate to bear the burden of a so called lawyer. I hold huge accountibility. I dont even know what to do. Aku still google kot.

Now the pros about this place are,

1. Near my house. And its fking Putrajaya, a v lovely place, place i m familiar and grow up with.

2. Nice firm setting (siap ada makeups, perfumes, dry toilets, tissue toilet, proper pantry). Besar.

3. Provide handphone and computer for work purpose.

4. Free lunch on Friday.

5. All Malay (sorry racist but need to admit it do feel nicer to be around people with same race bcs we feel lot more in common and convenient with the culture and religion setting).

6. Strategic location. Firm atas watson. With all the fav unhealthy fancy drink company around that walking distance.

7. Bos bukan jenis maki. But i hear them micromanage.

8. Ada pelan meja diberi utk recognise org ni duduk meja mana.

Cons

1. Low wadge starting (same starting like my small chambering firm)

2. Takde career growth (buat banking je, which just a field that exist to provide rolling modal utk firm)

3. Not so generous with Public Holiday and AL. Sebab ikut akta kerja katanya. Imagine kena kerja masa raya cina satu hari.

4. Tak cover parking (which cost rm70 montly)

5. Not willing to provide training allowance yg cost ribu2. (Eventho firm can be exempt from cukai)

6. Bayar murah tapi nak work independantly.

7. Takde banyak company benefit. Tak terima time slip (kena tolak hours from MC). Takde time off. Takde EL (dikira unpaid leave).

8. Claim buat syariah practice tapi lawyer syarie cuma satu then mostly buat pusaka stuffs.

9. Takde lanyard (access card). Tp guna finger print and punch card.

Tbh hampir semua firm mcm ni. Cuma rasa uncomfortable dgn leaves and holiday policy. Like so inconsiderate. Aku tak sanggup

[athirahcomel]

I always hated these pictures of myself.

I bet you didnt notice that my smile is crooked that most times i cant properly close my lips.

I always hated these pictures of myself.

I bet you didnt notice that ugly gummy smile, that some times the left side gummy appear higher that the right side.

I always hated these pictures of myself.

But i bet you didnt notice how irregular and big my teeth shape is.

I always hated these picture of myself.

But you probably couldnt tell how my shoulder is so much bigger than my hip. I hate my inverted triangle body.

I always hated these pictures of myself.

But you probably couldnt tell how big my cheeks are.

I always hated these picture of myself.

But i bet you didnt notice how big my eyebags are till at one point its the thing that made me look older.

But these pictures collectively tell that i am happy and happy looks pretty so i guess its okay. Embrace my insecurities. Sebenarnya its not that its non noticable. Its kinda obvious hahaha.

[athirahcomel]

Dangg beautiful even just ai

[athirahcomel]

I hope she realises that i love her

[athirahcomel]

Aku nak lelaki yang macam itu macam ini. But in the end i will always choose the most redflag guy. The one that just want to lust, not love. The one that lies. The one that gave mixed signal, vague statements. The one that cross boundaries. The one that never show up for dates, flowers, constant communications and efforts, the one that never love me loudly and let the whole world knows.

I want love that show up for me. Make me their priority. Love that shares deep talking, funny stories and sad one. Unfortunately, …yea very unfortunate of me.

[athirahcomel]

—Strawberry Parfeit FM

I always consider myself lucky whenever i saw this strawberry parfeit at the family mart store. I always…always got the last piece. Hence, i thought myself lucky enough. Maybe they would restock it later on. But not on the minutes and seconds i arrived at the shelf. It was so tasty that i savor every lick and yums. Whoever created this is so genius. It is sweet, but not overpowering. It is balanced. In fact, GREAT!

[athirahcomel]

— If truth is cruel, lies must be kind.

Found this on tiktok. Truth is cruel because it hurts and destroys you from within. Then, does that means lies, as opposite of truth, is kind? Sebab yela dah kalau kebenaran tu kejam, then penipuan tu baik la kan? Well nobody said that. They are both equally mean and painful. But to be frank, i dont mind stuck in lies. Because i hate pain. Lies create lies. And i hope the lier do it clean. To recover from truth, it will need me to die and resurrect few times (if succeed). Ive been there. Ive seen myself unable to get up from the painful truth. Seeing someone i loved lied, cheated and broke his promises. Even took something from me for his personal happiness with other woman. Lies, indeed, is kind.

[athirahcomel]

I love to see my friend’s big win. Biggest day. Happiest day. It’s contagious. It radiates. It shows. May you become the best lawyer in town. May Allah bless you with successfulness and endless rizq.

P/s: i look pretty…pretty cute — ethereal😆

[athirahcomel]

At the edge of 24, i m already anxious on whether I will get married. I pretend i do not care about marriage. I pretend i do not care about men. I pretend that I m gonna sign up for prestigous old folks home, and travel. I pretend my world does not revolve around guys. I cant say my biggest fear is to end up alone for the rest of my life, so i said i fear i do not have money. I cant say my biggest fear is not being able to give birth and love my children, so i said i dislike kids. I cant say my biggest wants and desire is to devote my life to a man called husband, so i said i want a lavish lifestyle. I already feel old…undervalue…not desired…i m just a girl…with hopeful dreams…to create a family i ever wanted, a loving one.

[athirahcomel]

Often times I’ve been asked and told — what I want to be in life. Being happy, is what I told myself when I was in depression phase, (5-21 years old) which now I m free of it. I moved on to wanting to be content — which is also too hard to be obtained. Because i am never be fulfilled. Then, I moved on to wanting to be…at peace. I m starting to believe that loneline is peace. I believe, loneliness is peace. No drama kinda life…is peace. Security is peace. Humble is peace. I want to be…at peace. ✌🏼 peace no war

[athirahcomel]

She’s not just any rose. She’s myyyy rose.

[athirahcomel]

I hope u heal

[athirahcomel]

Loneliness is peace.

[athirahcomel]

— You only love me, when you have money.

It’s true. You love me more when you have money, when things are easier.

When u dont hv money, u dont subscribe youtube music family anymore, you dont subscibe netflix family anymore. You dont buy me small gifts, or treat me with food.

When u dont have money, u spend less time with me, bcs u need to seek money. When u dont hv money, ure stressed and ignored me with playing phones and watching youtube videos. You tend to be in silence.

You only love me when you have money. When things are easier. Now, you dont show up.

You dont pick random wild flowers for me. You dont spend quality time with me. You touch me when you only need. You dont help me shampooing my hair. You dont cook me food. And you dont say i love you and i miss you that often anymore.

You don’t love me when things get hard.

[athirahcomel]

What do i value?

[athirahcomel]

Strugling wanting a person to love me the way i want, the way it used to be

[athirahcomel]

I always want a partner as deep as me. Poetic and romantic like the shakespear novel hero.