athens119

[athens119]

V After End Update?

Am I the only ios user who doesn’t have the update available yet? I see some ios users have already gotten the update, and when I opened the game, the title screen is V. But, I don’t know why there’s no new update yet in app store. Is there someone else who has this problem?

I tried opening and closing the app store, restarting the phone, opening and closing the game, but the update’s still unavailable. App store says the update is already out 2-3 hours ago, and the app icon in the store is V. But, the new update isn’t there when I checked.

[athens119]

Perhaps it’s also because of the complexity of his character that couldn’t be delved deeper due to the limited 11 days. His relationship with Rika also plays a huge part in shaping present-V, but it is highlighted so much that it becomes the basis of V route. Not so much about his characterization as a stand-alone character or an individual whose personality and behavior distorted badly to become the pessimist, lack of self-worth, suicidal, irrational V after Rika. It’s always about the pair called V and Rika.

While I understand she has a big influence in his life, it’s just too much. Not enough room for the delving of the characterization of his past self and his family that had a great impact in his young and adult life which led him to become the man he is now (prior to GE V route). That’s why when I played his route, it felt like it wasn’t explored completely and it felt like it wasn’t about him enough. He’s not just overshadowed by fans who prefer Ray over him, the narrative does it first.

His route didn’t give enough justice to his development and growth’s exposition as a person who is his own person, without Rika. Meaning, even without too much Rika, his past is still capable of leading the exposition of the development of his character and explain why he’s the way he is now and show how significant the impact and change are, how messed up he’s become, if only it’s explored properly and paired with Rika’s influence evenly.

I know it’s impossible to balance this in 11 days, but in regards to his characterization, perhaps having less Rika would be enough to get to know V as a person from his childhood to adult years and bring more light to his cold upbringing and trauma which results you can see from how he feels, thinks, and his actions.

V is a complex character, but his complexity is not explored in the narrative enough—or visible enough, if it’s actually there. It’s there but hard to see, especially if one is already deep in their hate and bias. There’s more to V than just his relationship with Rika, and it’s not easy to see it this way if we don’t stop for a moment and take a good look.

This is just my take on the matter, though. I hope I worded it right.

Here’s the thing about this post. I wrote it last night when I felt like hot garbage and wanted to distract myself. And then I thought, no, I’ll come back to it, it’s probably bad, I’m wrong. And then ofc the same issue flared up again, like it always does. So here’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot.

It’s kind of incredible how different present-day V is from the V you get in flashbacks and rare AS convos. At the same time, it’s very hard to pinpoint his trauma. He’s been impacted by the whole situation, but we spend more time with young & bratty Jihyun than we do with pre-Rika adult Jihyun. There isn’t a clear line between who he was before and after and that’s probably feeding into how many people still have weird ideas about who’s really at fault for the ME debacle. It’s a lot easier to make him shoulder more of the blame if you can imagine him as having always been a liar, flaky and irresponsible or whatever the Hot Flaw That Ruined Everything du jour is.

That chat where he aggressively insists all children are cute so Jumin must have been cute too is funny, but that’s also one of the only instances of V being a bit playful and teasing you get in the entire story with the exception of him dragging the Choi sisters’s in Jumin’s GE. I also remember playing through the SEs the first time around and being impressed with how smooth he was when asking Rika out. He’s still quiet and thoughtful in those early VNs/chats but idk. A lot more confident. He jokes around. You can see why everyone likes him so much and, more importantly, why he’d have a leadership role in the group. Flash forward to the story proper, where he’s constantly apologising, refuses to take a compliment, is paralysed with inaction and there’s even a chatroom where Jumin says V is so timid he might cancel the party if anyone’s against it. He’s clearing retreating into himself and it’s sad when you do notice it, but I feel like we should have had more moments to establish his character outside of his dynamic with Rika for this to hit home.

Basically, the fact that V’s a complete wreck after the whole Rika thing blows over tends not to get noticed as easily. It’s there, but it’s not telegraphed. On the other hand, the difference between flashback Saeran and Saeran at any other point in the story is scary and blatant. He’s worse off every time you see him (Ray to Edgeran to Unknown) and I think it’s one of the reasons why he tends to overshadow some of the other characters in popularity. His downwards spiral is shocking and there’s a lot of time spent on it in the narrative. It’s hard not to empathise with him and it’s nearly impossible to pretend he gets to carry half the blame for ME. You know. Like, maybe the argument isn’t that V did nothing wrong, it’s that he makes increasingly more harmful decisions as the story progresses, but he’s also on the tail end of an abusive relationship that affected his ability to be rational about the whole scenario. Just maybe.

[athens119]

Is this new?! Or has it always been there? Because I’d never gotten this after replaying his route numerous times. This is on Day 8.

Also, is he talking about us?

[athens119]

an open letter to the mysme fandom

So uhm first off I’m sorry being MIA for awhile and suddenly coming back with kettle after kettle of tea, but I promise I’ll get back to some wholesome content after this.

Unfortunately it’s time to face the music and acknowledge a simple fact: the Mystic Messenger fandom has gotten gross. From shipping incest to literally telling people to kill themselves over an opinion— you name it; we got it, and honestly it’s so tiring.

So what is this post for? I highly doubt anything will really change, but I hopefully want someone to read this and just….think. I honestly can’t believe how unbelievably dense some of this fandom can be.

Thus, here is a list of the toxic behavior I’ve seen, in case you have no clue—

Shipping incest (Saeran x Seven, and yes— threesomes do count)

Hating on/Harassing someone for having a different opinion

Fetishizing abusive and toxic behavior

Suicide baiting people who have different opinions than someone else

Treating real issues from the game as if they don’t really exist

Invalidating male abuse victims under the premise that “he deserved it” or “was just as bad” as the perpetrator

Claiming that hating a female character for her actions is, in fact, misogyny

Calling people out/Vaguing about them when they have opposing opinions

Now, that’s really only what comes to mind at the moment, but if anyone wants to add anything else they experienced— feel free.

Because most of these are opinion based issues, here is a checklist of things that you can do if you experience someone who disagrees with you—

Consider the situation. Does it matter? Like, does it seriously matter? Will this effect you in 10 years?

Realize that there will always be people who will disagree with you. That’s reality. You can’t help it. This also goes both ways— there will always be toxic people. However, how you approach it should be handled lightly.

Don’t harass them.

Don’t tell them to kill themselves

Literally, if you tell someone to kill themselves, you’re an awful person and I hope you step in a water puddle while wearing socks

Don’t vague about them

Don’t write a call out post

Be a grown, mature person, and message them privately if it bugs you that much. Call out culture is stupid and makes you look like a 6 year old throwing a tantrum.

Don’t harass them. Don’t tell them to kill themselves.

Block them. Unfollow them. Literally the content will go away if you block the blog that posted it and you’ll never, ever see it again.

Ignore??? It?? Like it’s so much better to just ignore what pisses you off. It’s almost like y’all want to be pissy 24/7.

I hope this is helpful. Please. Please. Just ignore whatever frustrates you. Tumblr is a website designed for people to say what they want— you can’t avoid people who think the opposite of you. It’s so dumb to hate others over an opinion.

And here’s another bombshell: Mystic Messenger is just a game. It ain’t that deep. Get over yourself, especially if you’re an adult. I think it’s sad if a 16 yr old can be more mature than a grown-up. C h i l l.

Hopefully enough people read this reblogs help that it could spark a conversation, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk man. I’ve been considering leaving the fandom for awhile, lol.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk 🍵 uwu

[athens119]

One post is not the representation of one’s entire thoughts. 

Just because someone posts something about V being an angel, doesn’t mean they only think of him as an angel. In fact, most V fans I see sometimes make jokes about this, WHILE knowing the fact he’s not exactly angel-pure. Any tag that’s sometimes filled with hate, it’s fine to spread positivity. As long as you know where to draw the line. And most V fans know this, and try their best for those who keep pestering them to see how not-so-innocent V is while in fact they (most of them) do know, and they have said so repeatedly, in fact so often that they should make a tag for it.

And, yes, I keep saying “most”, because I won’t jump to conclusion and generalize V fans. I know few people do think of him as pure angel.

Those who say he’s a total pure angel who did nothing wrong is not a true fan. It’s just putting him on a pedestal, seeing him as nothing but a perfect object while in fact, he’s just a human who makes mistakes. And for this, like Saeran, he deserves to be rewarded for his efforts of trying to change and fix his mistakes.

Also, a bit of advice, before accusing the entire community, check if the rest is like what you said. One person does not represent the entire individuals in that community. If it comes across this way, well, it’s not supposed to be this way. It’s called generalization, and it’s a harmful thing to do.

I truly, dearly, sincerely hope you mean well, even if you still don’t understand what V fans are trying to say for the past--oh, I don’t know--forever. That his intentions might be pure, but we know he’s not entirely innocent.

Thank you for answering my ask! Sorry for not checking the tags ^^ I guess since I mostly see the positive vibes more so than the confessing of that crime, I think V fans tend to just think he's pure and innocent. But none of the boys are and that's what makes them so wonderful.

 Tag? I have made posts.

Several posts.

You clearly did not take my suggestion.

They only reason I answered you isbecause you sent an ask off anon and you sent me more than one messages. Otherwise,I would have ignored it because it is a subject that I have exhausted at thispoint. My only advise to you right now is now is to do your research and try toexpand your horizons, maybe you will learn something from it.

I honestly regret answering you becauseyou didn’t learn anything and I regret wasting my time.

I am trying hard to not be a total bitchright now. ^^

It’s pretty obvious that you won’t changeyour mind or learn anything from this, so I am just gonna go off. So, lets unpack. Alright? : )

“I guess since I mostlysee the positive vibes more so than the confessing of that crime”

Are you offended that people are makingJihyun art/showing their appreciation to Jihyun? You know as fans?

Fans:

1. an enthusiastic devotee (as of a sportor a performing art) usually as a spectator.

2. an ardent admirer or enthusiast (as ofa celebrity or a pursuit)Do you want every single post in the V tag to be filled with people complainingabout Jihyun instead?

Should I change my blog fromJihyundeservesbetter to Jihyunkindadeservestobetreatedlikeshit:/?

I genuinely don’t understand what you aretrying to imply? If you want to say something, please say it. No need to be aspineless coward.  

“I think V fans tend tojust think he’s pure and innocent”

First of all, that is anopinion, not a fact.

Do you want to know, howI know that?

It is because youstarted your sentence with “I think”.

Second. Please give meevidence? I am a person of facts. You also said some similar BS before but Ihave yet to see any evidence? So, is this fake news? Are you Fox New-ing meright now?

Additionally, I wentthrough the Jihyun Tag today to look for posts that correlate with your judgement.I didn’t find anything. I only found posts of people joking about Jihyun beingan angel. Not only that but those people have also made separate posts aboutliking Jihyun despite his flaws! Fucking positive vibes smh can someone please indictthese people for liking a character :/

You must make everysingle post about Jihyun be a criminal! Or you are being too positive! Pleasebe bitter!

And yes, I actually didmy research. Shocking.

“But none of the boysare and that’s what makes them so wonderful”

Okay, maybe you are not that hopeless. 😊

Now I am going to repeat myself, since noone fucking reads anymore.

•           Whydoes every V fan have to justify themselves of liking V?

•           Whydo that constantly have to say they like V but they are not happy with whathappened to Saeran in V route?

•           Whydo they constantly have to mention that they like V but they understand whyothers won’t?

•           Whydo V fans always have to mention that they like V and immediately having to saythat they do not agree with anything he has done? My questions is why?

•           Whycan’t we have fun like everyone else and appreciate a character? Is that acrime?

Before you lose your shit and send meanon hate, I know V could have handled some things better. I know he mademistakes.

All V fans knows this.

Every. Single. One. And all of them havemade posts discussing these topics and countlessly made posts regarding thismatter in V route. V also encounters a bad fate in Ray route but you don’t seeJihyun fans making posts complaining about Saeran fans enjoying Ray route.

Just because I do not mention this pointin all of my posts, it does not mean that I am an anti-Choi twins blog. I amnot sweeping anything under the carpet, one of my most reblogged post makesthis point as clear as day. I am not excusing Jihyun’s actions, I am amplifyinghis good qualities. I am a pro-Jihyun blog, that’s all there is to it. Justbecause I appreciate him it does not equate that I am fervently defending himnor that am I brushing this issue aside.

I know V made a mistake

BUT I am also smart enough to know themotives behind his actions (this post is already long if you wanna talk aboutthis message me). Why do I constantly have to bring up this point?

Not only its tiring, its physicallyimpossible to bring up in every single post. Especially posts where I callJihyun a “sexy grandpa”, don’t you think that’s a little inappropriate? Is thiswhat people genuinely want, do you guys genuinely want to me always write“Jihyun made mistakes” in all of my posts? Is that it?

I genuinely want to know.  Why do I constantly have to bring up thispoint?

Let’s use an example. I am going to useSaeran as an example (If you dislike Saeran this is not the blog for you, Iadore him).

1.         Saerandid nothing wrong technically (tho some of his actions are ://), it was Rikawho caused him trauma and a huge reason why he was so cruel in Day 7-8 in RayRoute.

2.         Afterfinishing Ray Route, I decided to forgive him. Even Saeran was more thanwilling to understand if I didn’t forgive him.

3.         AsUnknown, Saeran also did a lot of terrible things.

4.         Iforgive him for this because of point#1.

5.         Butnot a lot of people (especially people who are victims of abuse) can’t bringthemselves to forgive him (and Saeran understand why they wouldn’t and so doI).

6.         Iknow Saeran has mental illness, but so does Jihyun (as well as jumin, saeyoung,yoosung, jaehee, and even zen)

Now, here is the thing. You don’t seethese people making vague posts at Saeran appreciation blogs to stop posting orsend them harassing messages (I know it happens sometimes but its not amajority). I especially, don’t see Saeran appreciation blogs constantly makeapology posts or posts saying they do not condone Unkown’s actions in badendings or they condone Saeran’s actions in those days of Ray route (I haveonly seen 2 people do this but only once). So, why do V fans constantly have todo this?  

Is it because his last name isn’t Choi?

Saeyoung is my second favorite characterand Saeran is literally my son but shit like this is exactly why I hate interactingwith some Choi fans. Some of y’all are really cool, and I know not everyone is likethis but right now the person representing a Choi fan in this blog is someonewho refuses to read.

And I am absolutely going to tag thisbecause I want V fan’s opinion on this. :)

In summary: 

[athens119]

The Promise of Forgotten Days

FF.net

Day 7 of @jihyunmcweek: first love || after end

Pairing: V x MC

Word count: 3294

Summary: Their reunion was the first step of their future together. The next day, they were set to meet for their first date to an opening of a new museum. But as the unseen side of MC is revealed to him, so is the forgotten memory of the old days, and the reunion at the party was not the reunion that will set their future.

a/n: Sequel to this

“It’s been a long time, mother.”

With a gentle smile on his face, V stood in front of the tombstone engraved with the name of a woman—a woman who had loved his son, who was the reason he was still alive to this day. He put down a bouquet of flowers he had held and kneeled.

“I’m sorry for not visiting you lately. I have been… trying to fix myself. To be the Jihyun Kim you wanted me to be, to make good use of this life you saved… But I assure you, from now on, I will visit you more often, with the woman whom I come to love as much as I love myself.”

V fell silent and looked up at the clear sky. “Speaking of her…” he faced the tombstone with a smile and cheeks tinted with pink shade. “Unfortunately, there are no words to describe how beautiful, bright, and blissful her existence is to me. However, perhaps, if not through words, then I wish to capture her soul through the brush you gave me, and through the colors I’ve finally discovered thanks to her.”

V fell silent again. Though his lips were still smiling, his eyes weren’t. “Sometimes, I wish you were alive, just so you could see how similar your kindness and warmth are to her. Sometimes… I wish you were here with me. I always visualize vividly what you two would talk about, how you two would spend your time together, how the three of us would…” he lost his voice, and before he knew it, tears started rolling down his cheeks. He quickly wiped them.

“I-I’m sorry. It’s just… it would be such a bliss. But… I know I must let it go. I’ve decided to look forward for my sake, my friends’, yours, and hers. Oh, but don’t tell her I said that, okay, mother? This will be our little secret.” He chuckled.

He looked at his watch and stood up. He gave a long contented and affectionate stare at the tombstone, “The love you introduced me will surely be a guideline to her happiness and mine. Farewell for now, mother.”

The clock was ticking. He ran through the crowded street, hoping he wasn’t late. Although he had been planning to arrive half an hour early, due to being unable to sleep the night before and the sudden stop to his mother’s grave, the thirty minutes were reduced by half. He couldn’t help it; today’s date had reduced him to a daydreaming fool. He sighed in relief as he finally managed to go through the crowded street and arrived at the park. However, his smile instantly diminished as he saw MC waiting under a tree. She was wearing black semi-formal attire like him. Was she also visiting someone’s grave?

“MC!” he approached her. “Since when did you arrive?”

“Oh, just now. But, what about you? Aren’t you a little early?”

“So are you. I thought it was supposed to be two o’clock.”

“I know, but…” she averted her face. “I’ve had my fill of waiting. I… can’t wait any longer.”

Her averted face was hiding the pink shade on her cheeks. Her arms were pressed against her sides as her right hand was rubbing on her left wrist nervously. It was such a pure expression, he couldn’t help but slip out a chuckle, much to her embarrassment. “Wh-what?”

“Nothing. I was just thinking the same.” He extended his hand to her. “Let’s go, MC.”

During weekends, museum was always packed with couples, friends, and families. He didn’t mind if it was crowded, because all that mattered was having MC by his side. The opening of a new museum never had a shortage of crowds, and he wanted to share the first experience with her. Paintings and photographs were set on the wall neatly, they walked and viewed one art piece after another.

However, it was strange, he thought. Whenever MC laid her eyes on one art, she seemed to be very engrossed in it that she seemed to be in her own little world. Her gleaming yet solemn golden eyes were as if gazing into beneath the color and scribble, into the truth behind it. Her stare indicated curiosity, she was looking for something.

It suddenly came back to him. The first meeting he had with Rika. It was during an exhibition like this, only this time, it wasn’t his. She would stare at the picture of the sun with innocent and curious gleam in her eyes like MC.

“MC,” he walked over to her side. “Is something on your mind?”

“I was just thinking.” She turned to face him with a smile. “What about you? You’ve been staring at me for a while.”

“Oh, don’t mind me… I suddenly remember something.”

“Remember what?”

“Rika.” He looked up at the painting before them. “During our first date, she would look at my picture of the sun with eyes like yours just now. Shining so bright with honesty, curiosity, innocence…” silence filled the air before he snapped out of realization. “Ah… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring her up.”

“No, it’s okay. I know how impactful she was in your life.” She reassured with a smile. She really was thoughtful, he thought.

“But,” he mumbled and looked at her with a blush, “this time I’m spending with you… is indescribably more joyous. Do you mind… if I hold your hand?”

The abrupt question shocked her with embarrassment. She merely nodded while averting her blushed face and felt his big, warm hand gently grasped hers.

They walked to painting after painting, photos after photos, sculpture after sculpture with hands locked to one another. V kept telling her his depiction of every art they stopped by. She seemed to be very curious about his translation as she kept watching him talk intensely, listening word by word thoroughly.

“You have great insight, Jihyun. You’re meant to be in this world, after all.”

“Oh, no. I’m new to this art field. I’m still learning.”

“Hmm… then what about this?” she went to another painting across the room and pointed at it, “What do you think this painting mean?”

He stared at the large wide painting towering above them analyzing it. “It’s a depiction of society’s current state in the affairs of humanity, I think. It’s also an encouragement to extend your hand to those who have no one by their side to help them. It sheds its light mainly upon the nature of humankind that could have been, and it seems to be something related to the artist as it has this certain personal touch that speaks their experience.”

“I see…” she kept staring at it.

“What’s wrong?”

“What was in their mind…?” she mumbled. “Every art hides a piece of the creator’s soul. It’s a medium which one expresses their soul into. Right now, we are looking at the soul of an artist. Their exposed voice painted by the colors and shapes on this former white blank canvas.”

“MC…?”

“Have you ever wondered? The art that captures and speaks one’s soul. We are currently looking into their heads. If I were an expert in this field, maybe I would’ve dismantled it and decoded the soul hidden behind this gem. Although I think, in truth, it’s already self-explanatory enough.”

Huh? He blinked. Why did that sound familiar?

“Ah, I’m sorry.” She gave a guilty smile. “I must’ve said something weird just now. Don’t mind me, I was just… thinking.” Her voice gradually lowered as she glanced at a pair of mother and child who was across them and stared. He noticed her stare seemed to be longing, yearning, and sorrow. He looked at the pair, the mother who was introducing her child to an artwork.

The memory of going to an exhibition with his mother suddenly passed through. The memory reminded him of the longing and sorrow for her. He looked at MC upon realization. Was she perhaps feeling the same way? It felt familiar to him.

Familiar? He suddenly winced in pain over the painful sudden images flashing in his head. The memory of his high school days, the image of a brown-haired girl in a music room alone, playing a sad piece on a piano, her golden eyes staring into his soul, her words and comfort that eased his turbulent confused young self.

The top part of the painting behind them was peeling off the wall, the large frame started descending towards them, a group of people screaming “watch out!” snapped him out of it, before he knew it, the large painting was falling on her without her realizing.

The loud thud was causing panic, some people were screaming for help. MC stared at the man on top of her with shock and widened eyes. He had wrapped his body around her, and the upper part of the painting hit his shoulder. Although his head was somewhat safe, the painting buried his body. Time ceased to exist in her mind, the ruckus was silent in her ears, as the crushed shoulder and pain on his face petrified her.

He was taken to the first aid room and had his upper arm bandaged. He was told reckless for using his shoulder to withstand heavy weight, to which he scratched the back of his head sheepishly and apologized. As he was being treated, MC never let her eyes off him. Her widened eyes exhibited shock and horror, because when she saw him shielding her, she was taken back to the moment where her mother lay in a coffin.

After giving him a few suggestions and warnings, the doctor left.

“I’m sorry our date is ruined.” He held the bandaged arm, gripping it in regret.

MC didn’t respond. The atmosphere was intensified with dead silence and her solemn eyes to the ground. “…This isn’t your fault, Jihyun. The museum should’ve double-checked the screws.” Her fists clenched. “Also, why do you keep doing this? Stop throwing yourself into danger! I thought we were over this 2 years ago.”

“That’s…”

That meek look again, it felt like her chest was twisted into a knot. “…I don’t like how you’re the one injured from someone else’s mistake. Wait here. I’m going to tell off the museum manager for this.” She was about to run off, until V quickly grabbed her hand. He could tell she was acting strange. “MC… are you angry?”

She still didn’t say anything, but her trembling body was an answer enough. He stood directly behind her and enveloped her trembling fist with his. “I’m sorry for being so reckless. But, anyone will throw themselves into danger for the one they love, is that not natural? I have lost my mother. I don’t want to lose you too.”

She still didn’t speak a word. She seemed uncharacteristically angry today, he was worried. She turned around and placed her hand on his slightly injured head. There was a small bump on the back of his head. She lowered her hand and looked down.

“Anyone will not want their loved one to get hurt because of them, is that not natural?” her tone sounded sarcastic. “You’re not the only one who lost someone dear. And I almost lost you two years ago… repeatedly. When you are reminded of the things that trigger you… you’re bound to release all of those emotions… I’m not Jumin.”

“Haha, yes… my friend is quite something.” He laughed awkwardly. He noticed she gripped his shirt tremblingly. “I remember. Back in high school and during the Mint Eye incident, you were the one who comforted me, who was there when I was lost and confused.”

The girl desperately clinging to his shirt now seemed she was on the verge of that point. He didn’t want it to happen to her. He remembered now. The memories forgotten. The memories of their first encounter—the true first. “MC, did you play piano often when you were in high school?”

She looked up at him, surprised. “How did you know that?”

“You were estranged from your family, weren’t you?”

“…Yes.” She said as she looked down with a sad smile. Yes, he recognized that smile.

The silent atmosphere and topic were awkward for her. “A-anyway, I’m sorry for not wearing something cute. I was from somewhere, so—”

“It’s fine. You look very beautiful to me, MC.” His words and dazzling smile made her blush, and as she was about to say something, he said, “Just as beautiful as when I first saw you.”

“You mean… that time at the Mint Eye?”

“No.” He embraced her and whispered, “You look beautiful to me no matter what. Your soul… it’s very beautiful.”

“Jihyun…?”

MC sat on a chair in the museum cafe, her blank and shocked look was fixed on him as he told her everything. The memory of their first meeting, of their talk about arts, of the soul she shared through the music piece she had played for him, and of the time where his leaked self-doubt and fear were welcomed by her sincere and reassuring words. It seemed MC didn’t remember about their encounter either. During the two days they met, though it might not look it, MC’s mind was elsewhere. That’s why, she didn’t bother asking his name too.

“I’m sorry for not remembering.” Said her.

“No, I’m sorry too. It was supposed to be very important to me. But, after that day, I was greatly grieving for my mother, and my memory of you became hazy. I’m sorry for being such a self-centered child. Back then, I treated you with unfair judgment.”

“It’s fine. I understood that was your way of hiding and denying your fear and confusion.”

He was surprised how calm and understanding she was about it, though knowing her, it was a given. As he glanced at her sipping coffee, he smiled. Every little she did seemed to grant him fragments of happiness.

But the most happiness of all: he finally found her. After ten years.

“But you’ve changed.” He added. “It took me a while to recognize you since you used to be gloomy.”

“Well, things happened.” She looked down at her drink as she gave a guilty smile. “I’ll tell you someday. We have all the time in the world now, don’t we?”

“Yes, we do.” His wide and sincere smile portrayed nothing but pure joy and love. “This time, with nothing to hold us back, I wish to get to know you, MC. I wish to know everything about you. And…” he stood from his chair and offered his hand to her like a gentleman. “Please trust me with your heart, just as I trust you with mine.”

“Okay.” With a bright smile, she placed her hand on his palm.

***

The dawn had set, the moon reached the stage. From the window of his house, he stared at the moonlight basking his interior with its calm radiance. The sun always shone the brightest, always was the mother of life, but the moon was different. Its bright yet not blinding shine had begun to receive his appreciation, a feeling of rest and tranquility enveloped his entire being.

“Jihyun.”

Like her radiance enveloped his. He turned around to see her curious eyes gleamed at the white walls around his renovated house. She must’ve had an inkling what it was about.

“Your journey hasn’t even begun, has it?” her smile was ever so angelic, his heart skipped a beat. The room had dim light, but her smile seemed to shine the brightest even amidst the darkest of hour.

He chuckled, “No. This is merely the beginning.” His expression and hand on the wall showed proudness and contentment. “The real journey starts when you’ve become a part of my life. I want to paint the house with the color of Jihyun Kim you guided me to be, and perhaps, your color as well.”

She laid her eyes on a camera on the dining table. “Oh, that.” He held the camera. “It’s a hobby now, for capturing moments in a flash, since I can’t do it that instant with drawing. And, during my travel, I was thinking it would be wonderful to bring you along. I’ve experienced so many things, met so many people, saw so many diversity, and I wish to share such experience with you and capture those moments eternally. But,” he aimed the camera at her face. “One day, I would like to use the pictures to paint you, and our times together.”

“I’d like that. I’m glad you’re fulfilling your dream, though. There’s nothing greater than letting yourself go, isn’t it?” she walked towards him with a smile.

“Speaking of dream,” he put the camera back on the table. “what about your dream of becoming a pianist?”

“It’s a secret for now.” She put her index finger on her lips as she winked. “But someday, I will tell you.”

“Of course. By the way, would like to hear the plans for this house?”

Room after room they entered, V explained what he would like to do with it. What furniture he would like to use, what color he would like to paint on each room, which one was the room for his art stuffs, and a room where MC could perhaps do what she loved, a room where her dream could be fulfilled.

“Well, this is just a concept. But, I would like to start my life anew in this house, with you. I want to paint with you, just as I want to play music with you. I want you as my audience and muse, just as I would be yours. I want to finish blank puzzles together and color them with our favorite colors. Am I… asking too much?”

“Hmm? No, not at all. That’s the dream, isn’t it?”

“Haha, yes, indeed it is. Oh! And…” He slipped his hand into his pocket and let out a small box made of red velvet. He opened the lid to reveal two rings. “Do you remember the promise we made ten years ago?”

She nodded. “’The next time we meet, let’s exchange our thoughts again’.”

He picked up one ring and slipped in into her middle finger, “I swear upon my grave I will hold that promise forever close within my heart. I will always stay truthful to my voice and to the truths I am to bear, for the sake of my loved ones, for the sake of myself, for the sake of the woman whom I share myself with from this day on. This ring shall safeguard and prove that promise true.” He kissed the ring on her finger.

She picked up the other ring and slipped it into the same finger on his, “I swear upon my grave I will do my best to uphold that promise and keep it safe forever as well. The promise to share our thoughts and feelings, to share parts or the entirety of our soul to the person whom we made this promise for.” She kissed the ring on his finger.

Once again, he was enveloped in that same warmth and security as he had been ten years ago. Once again, he surrendered to the pleasant and peaceful relaxation her existence seemed to bring, a comfort he wished to stay as everlasting and as complementary as both the sun and moon together.

All he needed now was time. From onwards, these short-lived moments with her, he would make sure to keep it safe and eternal, until the day where he could finally say the word and fulfill his new dream of spending his old days with her. Forever until death do them apart.

[athens119]

[x]

[athens119]

Reblog if your blog is a safe place for Jihyun Kim

I want to see how many fans does he have

[athens119]

V’s fate at the end of Ray route (Spoilers!)

There’s something about V in Ray route I noticed. I don’t know if this is a discourse or rant, but I’ll proceed with it.

I want to say that V going back to Rika in Ray route means he’s sacrificing his life to keep Rika away from harming RFA. I want to say he realizes his toxic way of love and seeks to fix it, which he does realize it and try to make it right, only the conclusion that comes after that… might not be what we think.

I’m going to explain this chronologically. And just a reminder, this is not an anti-V or pro-Rika post. This is about V and why he acts the way he does near the end of Ray route. I love him a lot, but I have to stay in the middle ground concerning anything that requires me to be objective and critical. This is simply about how I see it. This is purely opinion.

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT BELOW!

During this chatroom, it’s clear that V hasn’t realized his obsession. He doesn’t realize his fixation on Rika and saving her is obsession. The way he asks it here seems like the word obsessive is unfamiliar to him in this context.

V still thinks that self-sacrifice will save the remaining lives. Here, he still clings to the idea that his sacrifice would guarantee the lives of others he wishes to protect. He is known for his self-sacrificing tendency, which this chat is one of the reasons why I believed V went back to Rika just so she could torture and hurt him instead. That way, he could guarantee the lives of the RFA which is safe from Rika’s grasp because she’s busy hurting him, and (I don’t know if he knows this) Rika herself who is exempted from the responsibilities and judgement she is supposed to take. But that’s where the fatality lies.

…I don’t know about you, but to me, this doesn’t seem like a monologue that realizes his “love” is obsession. This sounds like someone who knows his way of loving is wrong. There’s a difference. It’s not that he realizes his “love” is not love, but his way of love is incorrect, meaning he still believes it’s love.

This makes it sound like V is going to extinguish his light as the sun and descend into darkness. Not in a way Rika’s destructive darkness is, but it’s his way of saying that he will accept her darkness as it is, thus to him, by thinking that, it makes him no different than her and loses his light.

But then, he says this:

This might imply that he really is doing it with the thought of self-sacrifice, not merely going back to Rika because he wants to love her again the “correct” way.

Even if the sun is gone… everything will be alright.

There is only one thing I can do… for the sake of everyone.

The first sentence itself might indicate that even if V is gone, everything will be alright. Meaning, he might’ve gone back to Rika to sacrifice himself so RFA will be safe. Period.

The second one could mean that his sacrifice may save everyone, and/or by loving Rika the way he knows based on MC and Saeran, everyone will be safe.

Now, I know one of the themes of V’s good ending is loving the person as a whole, loving every aspect of them as an individual instead of their idealized version (correct me if I’m wrong), but taken to the context above, I don’t think it’s applied the same way. In fact, it’s a twisted version of it. Also, he still doesn’t love himself when he goes back to Rika. He’s still trying to be the giver rather than both giver and receiver. All in all, this is another mistake.

And, instead of—as she put it—denying her darkness (aka asking her to stop), V doesn’t think of persuading her again to go back to therapy because, based on what he’s learned from MC and Saeran, forcing a change in someone is not love, but accepting them for who they are is. This way, he doesn’t think he should bring her back to therapy because he thinks it would not be love. Not like she wants to anyway.

Bottom line, based on V’s responses, I’ve come up with the conclusions:

He still hasn’t realized that he is obsessed with Rika, not love.

He might have sacrificed himself not just to keep her away from harming RFA, but also to love her the “right” way he learned from MC, which happens to be accepting her for who she is, even if this is not applicable to her current condition. If it’s not one of them, it’s both.

This means the death of him as the sun, which is why he says the sun is gone, because in order to accept Rika for who she is, he automatically has to fall into the pit of darkness. But, that can also mean that the sun is gone because him, as the sun, is going to sacrifice his life.

So, I don’t know. I feel like there’s a double meaning here.

Regardless, even if V did get back to Rika because he still thinks he “loves” her, it’s no less tragic than him going back to keep his friends safe from her. Because in the end:

He’s still doing it to protect EVERYONE.

He’s still trying to take responsibility for things that’s not even his fault or in his control.

He’s still stuck in the same spot (and his possible future could be worse than the death in the original timeline).

He still thinks there is only one right way to love (while in truth, love comes in many forms, depending on the person).

He doesn’t realize his effort to love her is nothing more than an act of obsession.

And, he can never break himself free from his constraining, self-destructive belief.

He can never realize all of this.

Just like Saeran can never change and be saved in V route, so can V in Ray route. From Rika, from themselves. Another Story is the best—in a worst way—example of “You CAN’T save EVERYONE”.

Sorry if I can’t explain this better. I feel like I’m forgetting some points, but I can’t remember what. Well, I’m not that certain about this, so if you beg to differ, I’m open to opinions (as long as it makes sense and please be civil and respectful about it).

[athens119]

Agreed. I said this before in a post, and I’m going to say it again. 

There is always more sides to each character, so focusing on the negative/positive aspects only is a disservice to one's character. Only then you can decide whether you want to hate, love, or not care. You can also be objective when you hate/love someone. Objectivity is what this fandom needs lately. Know when you have to stay in the middle ground. This is applicable to all parts of the fandom, whether you’re a fan of V, Rika, Saeran, Seven, etc.

You know; it really breaks my heart that the mysme fandom is becoming so toxic, like… I know it’s for more than just Rika stans, but I’m gonna address that specifically because it’s what bugs me the most

If people who stan Rika were more like “yeah, Rika did a bunch of nasty and abusive things, but I don’t condone it and I like her purely for her archetype,” instead of “You only hate Rika because she’s female and you have internalized misogyny, and [insert those other stupid reasons],” then i think that the fandom would be a lot less toxic.

I know this is possible. People do it for Saeran. They realize he killed V while being his fan. People do it for V. We realize where he messed up and that he was less than perfect. People do it for the other ‘problematic’ things the other characters do. Some people actually already do this for Rika; I’ve talked to them, I follow some blogs adminned by them. I’m generally very accepting of someone’s opinion, if they aren’t openly advocating for a murderer, a cultist, and an abusive person like most Rika stans do.

And yes, I know, “Gin. It’s just a game. Fiction. Chill,” but when it starts to trivialize real issues like domestic violence, cultism, and kidnapping; I wanna at least try and say my piece.

TL;DR– Part of the reason this fandom is quickly going south is because most Rika stans are trivializing real life issues. If you stan Rika and realize that she’s a horrible person, that’s fine. If you stan Rika and don’t condone any of her illegal actions, that’s great. It’s okay to like villains and antagonists as long as you realize why they suck and don’t condone what they’ve done.

This has been today’s tea

[athens119]

The Color of Soul

Pairing: V x MC

Summary: The brush his mother gave him was tossed aside. With fear he once again convinced himself his father was right. But, his heart was lost in between, until the day he listened to her music and discovered the true nature of his soul.

Word count: 4190

Author’s note: I also posted it in fanfiction, in case anyone wants to read it there.

“You submitted a blank paper.”

A white paper was held before V’s face. The teacher sighed and put it down on the desk. “It’s not just this. You also didn’t attend a lot of classes, especially art class. Is there something you’re not satisfied with?”

“I just see no reason why I should write down or draw what I feel. What can you achieve by simply making doodles out of your thoughts?” V’s voice was stern, somewhat indicating disrespect.

“Just few days ago you seem to be embracing art. But, no matter. You do know the consequences of skipping classes and submit a blank paper for your assignment, don’t you? I am not going to tolerate this amount of disrespect to not only your teachers, but all the artists you just indirectly insulted. You’re already in high school. Think your actions through from now on, because it’s going to affect your future soon. If this continues, I will have to take this matter to your father.”

“…Understood.”

After a couple of more lectures, the mint hair boy was permitted to leave. With brisk pace and grumpy face, he walked along the quiet hallway. School had ended an hour ago, the clear blue sky was darkened with darker hue, the sun was setting. He thought the lecture was useless. Why did he get a lecture about art? He couldn’t accept it. Not after his mother took his drawing for submission, to be exposed in public eyes. Not after he lashed out at her for doing such foolish thing. Not after his father’s anger over the impertinence. He slammed his fist onto the wall, his face was distorted with ire. Art was a fool’s choice. Art was merely an escapism for fools who couldn’t see reality. Fools who dreamed too much. Fools who loved to express themselves through creativity.

Fools who could create beautiful things.

In each passing thought, his balled fist slid down the wall, his anger grew wearier. He wanted to be so angry, he wanted to hate art so much, but now that he tasted the freedom and dream it offered, his feelings were conflicted. His path was already decided since birth. Art would not grant him absolute success. His father was always right.

Resonance of music echoed throughout the hallways. The bewitching tune pulled him into a state of trance. He had listened to recitals before, but the tune, the melody, the sound produced by seemingly a piano stirred his chest, his emotions brought forth. He looked up, it was coming from just above the stairs. He hastily rushed towards the music. Whatever that could bring about this feeling in his heart, his body responded on its own. Each note touched him. Each echo prompted his body to run unbidden, his heart throbbed faster the closer he got. The tune was getting nearer and nearer, and he arrived at the music room. The door was slightly open. The melody resonated tranquility, sadness, yet hope that seemed to be hidden beneath the notes. He was drawn to the mystical emotions it was summoning, yet frozen before the door that could reveal the music that was moving his heart.

Having mustered his courage, he peeked into the room to see a lone brown-haired girl drumming her fingers on the piano keys gently. Each motion and note were deliberate, graceful, carried out emotions. He was transfixed by her mesmerizing moves. The girl stopped and turned to his direction. He felt words were stolen from him as those golden eyes were staring into his mint eyes.

“S-sorry, I was just…” he went inside and closed the door nervously.

“Can I help you?”

“N-no! What could you possibly do to help me?!” he screamed. He snapped out of it as he realized his sudden outburst. “S-sorry, I didn’t mean to yell.”

The girl said nothing and quietly took the music sheet on the piano to read. “Uh... are you a pianist or something?” he asked. “I’ve never heard such music before.”

“Maybe someday.”

“Someday?” his face grew listless. She was one of those people. Those who studied the industry of creativity such as art, music, writing, and the like. The fools who were spending their lives meaninglessly trying to find value in abstract concept. “So, you’re that type, huh?” he muttered. “Why do you even bother with this path? There’s nothing you can achieve by clinging to such idealistic dream.”

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about. The world of arts is able to achieve something others cannot.”

“Achieve what? You can’t guarantee success with them. Art, music, or whatever is for pigheaded who’s chasing the intangible. People like you will not make it in the world if you cling to hope that it will grant you financial and social accomplishment.”

“I beg to differ,” she put down the sheet. “because art is what this world needs.”

“What…?” his phone rang, it was his driver. He clicked his tongue, he wanted to talk with her longer. With a heavy heart, he bid her goodbye and left.

The car was driving along the road, he rested his chin on his palm with his eyes looking out of the car window, but his mind was elsewhere. There was no base behind her words, nor was it supported by theory, but it left a mark in his mind, one that he couldn’t stop thinking about. What did she mean by that?

***

Jumin raised an eyebrow at his friend’s strange behavior. Since this morning, V seemed to be swimming in his thoughts. He barely responded to anything, and now, he found him in the library reading a book upside down. “Jihyun,” he snatched the book. “this isn’t how you read a book.”

Embarrassed, V took the book back and read it right. And yet, Jumin could notice he was still not reading the book. “Is something wrong?” he sat beside him.

“Huh? No, nothing. I just… met a girl yesterday.”

“A girl?”

“She has golden eyes and long brown hair. She also plays the piano. I forgot to ask her name, so I can’t ask around. And nobody seems to recognize the description either.”

“If she plays piano, do you mean MC?”

V’s face lit up and faced his friend. “You know her?”

“No. But I have heard of her. I was told by father that 6 years ago, her family was attacked by hitmen and her mother didn’t survive. According to him, when he visited her house for a business meeting with her father, their relationship was too cold for parent-child. It seems they were estranged.”

“Estranged…” the word was somehow familiar to him. “Why does no one know her, though?”

“Perhaps she doesn’t exude much presence in society for them to care.”

“That’s harsh, Jumin.”

“I’m merely stating a fact. That’s how reality is, Jihyun.”

“I can’t disagree with you, but…” he trailed off. “I can’t imagine what is it like, losing your parent. It’s understandable since people like us are targeted for our wealth and lives. That could have easily been us...”

“You seem to be very curious about her. Are you interested in her?”

V jumped from his chair with red face. “Wh-What do you mean interest?!”

“I do not mean it that way. And, please lower your voice.”

“S-sorry.” he sat back. “I’m not sure what it is or why. There’s just something about her. She says the strangest things, but… I want to talk to her again.”

“What do you want to do?” Jumin’s question received a confused look from V. “Do you remember what I told you before?”

Of course. Jumin’s advice was always in his mind. As expected of his best friend, he thought. He didn’t need explanation to know what V was thinking. “Yes… I must form my own view of the world. I must find out what she is like myself.”

Jumin nodded and continued his reading. Jumin was insensitive, but he always could see through V’s heart. His lips curved to a smile, yet his eyes were looking at his friend rather sadly. He was truly grateful for having such an amazing friend like him.

***

V was relieved his hunch was right. She was in the music room after school again. According to the school caretaker, she was always playing the piano after school, whenever the music club didn’t use it. When he entered the room, she didn’t seem to notice him. Like the day he first saw her, her music seemed to carry her into a world of her own, a utopia of her own imaginary world, a haven that belonged to her and only her. Her body was here, but her soul was drifting elsewhere.

He had thought artists who lived in their own world were dreamers and delusional, but that wasn’t what he saw in her. He didn’t want to break her concentration or think he could, so he stood by the door, watched as her hands and fingers were dancing across the piano keys fluently, listening to the music she was playing, the melody and tones coming out of the piano. He couldn’t help but close his eyes and immersed himself in the wave of emotions, the flow carrying his mind and heart away from reality, sharpening his senses and visualization of the forlorn piece.

The song was ingrained in his heart, his mind, his soul. He could picture it. The prelude was calm, choked in sadness and unspoken tears, and then followed by faster beat and heavier notes, connoting a calm before the storm. It was still a sad melody, and yet there was a hint of anger, doubt, confusion. He had never heard of this piece before. Most of all, he saw himself in the song. It was uncomfortable how it pictured him, but he didn’t mind. He liked the song and the tranquility and voice that seemed to be speaking his true inner self in his stead. As soon as the song stopped, he broke out of the trance.

“Huh…? It stopped…”

MC, having heard a voice, finally noticed he was there. She recognized the boy from yesterday. “Do you want to listen to it again?”

“No, I’m fine… I don’t care about music anyway.” yet his averted face said the contrary. It was obvious he looked conflicted. The same expression he wore the day they met. “I’ve never heard of the piece before. Who composed it?”

“Me.”

“Excuse me?”

“I started composing this piece years ago.”

The emotions he picked up, he assumed it had anything to do with her mother’s death and the cold relationship she had with her father. But it was still amazing she could still write it. He remembered what his mother taught him, that people like her and MC lived for the path they chose. They were disconnected from reality and sought meaning to their lives through the process of self-expression.

His mother…

Whenever her face popped in his head, whenever that dejected look when he screamed at her entered his head, he couldn’t help the anger. The disappointment. The fear and doubt in himself that he didn’t have before. A whirlpool of feelings had unleashed, roaming in his heart to this day, it brought nothing but confusion and agitation. However, when he looked at MC, she didn’t look disconnected like his mother. Maybe it was because she hadn’t lost one of her senses, but from the beginning, she was calm, gentle, and melancholy. Unlike him who was stubborn, condescending, unsympathetic. There was so much curiosity he couldn’t resist.

“I don’t understand you people…” he approached her. “What’s so good about this anyway? Choosing music or whatnot.”

“You asked that yesterday. Have you never experienced something like this before?”

“Only momentarily. I tried drawing before. I didn’t want to at first, but my mother suggested it to me. I admit I was hooked. I saw the appeal in it. But, in the end, when it comes to success, art seems to be nothing but a waste of life. Why choose art when you can achieve better things? Art and others like it do not guarantee a secure future. And…” he trailed off and crossed his arms, looking down at her with eyes that seemed to question her case. “Why would you expose your creation to those who will judge you? It is no different than walking among society naked. Art makes you exposed, vulnerable. Why is my mother so fixated in me choosing art? Why is violin so important to her to a point she becomes… that? The more I try to understand, the more I don’t.”

He expected her to retaliate or respond in a defensive manner. Usually, when he spoke with that manner to people, they didn’t take it well. But, at the moment, she was merely staring at his face, her eyes were staring into his. Neither anger nor vindicated look was there, as if she was trying to look into his soul through the window of his eyes. Once again, he found himself frozen by her eyes.

“I can’t speak for your mother.” she spoke. “But perhaps, people like me and her seek to live the life of music because that way, we can shed light to our souls, compose our voices through music. To share what can’t be shared through melody, the revelation of a musician’s soul that is seeking for self-expression and liberation of inner self. The same can be said for other creative fields.”

“…You would make a great conversation partner with my mother, if she could hear.” he commented and sat on the piano stool beside her. “But… is it not selfishness? Shouldn’t you compromise your dream to fit society for a better life? To survive? I have asked this question before, and yet I still don’t know which is the correct answer.”

“If everyone shares that mindset, if painters, musicians, writers, dancers, actors, and others compromised their values for the sake of merely survival, this world wouldn’t have been shed with colorful and mesmerizing lights. An out-of-this-world element is needed to complete itself, to open a gate to the true nature of the soul composed of heart and mind.”

“That sounds unrealistic. It is only when we compromise our abstract values for the sake of practicality to correspond to the demands of society that life is set for the better. The way I see it, business is still the best path to concrete success. Art is just… a shadow. Your future isn’t guaranteed. Why would anyone want to tread the path of a risky unknown when it might not pay your bills or sacrifice your sanity?”

“You seem to be conflicted about something. What is art to you?” she asked.

"What is art to me…?” he pondered in silence for a moment, before the memories of visiting the exhibition with his mother played in his mind, remembering the feelings whenever he was drawing. “Art is abstract, risky, stupid… and yet a wonder and unfamiliar. Like music, painting, literary, dancing and such, the form of creative medium that expresses our voice. However, success through art is not secure, and what good does it do? It cannot contribute to society."

Her finger slid across the keys again. It was short, but the combination of notes was mystical, mysterious, and spellbinding. Getting up close made the experience more vivid and sunk him in the pool of the emotions it brought forth. Her lips curved up into a meek smile at the softened face in front of her. "You see? Arts enhance one's empathy and broaden their view of the world and the people in it. To let the voice influenced its owner and its appreciators, to draw out the empathy in multitude of people with different backgrounds and issues, that is the purpose of arts I believe. What’s more, it translates expression into a variety of perceptions of the soul while staying truthful to itself. The process and result of self-discovery is the delivery of our emotional states and messages, how to make them influential and vivid."

"So, it gives its owner of soul the ability to perceive their true self in an enlightening view with colors or intonation they never know existed? Tonality that serves as an insight to the heart and mind that shape the soul…"

"’An exposure and declaration of our inner depth through self-expression’, as my mother put it."

They looked at each other as they seemed to understand one another and smiled. However, compared to his, her smile seemed weak, somehow sad. He remembered, his mother used to mutter things about soul, that art was what his soul wanted.

“But, I envy you. You already have the talent and proper training.” he mumbled.

“What?”

“N-nothing! You may have skills, but that doesn’t mean you will get by!”

It took him few seconds to realize the words coming out of his mouth. He averted his face away out of embarrassment and his mind was screaming at his impulsiveness. He always got so defensive and stubborn whenever he was embarrassed.

“I didn’t care about music.” her answer snapped him out of the embarrassment. When he turned to look at her, her eyes on the piano were forlorn. “I don’t get proper training either. But my mother introduced me to it. It was her legacy and love that’s passed down to me, and I want to keep it alive. What’s more,” she closed her eyes and pressed few notes. “whenever I tickle the keys, it feels like my mother is next to me.”

The feeling of yearning and lost were shown in the music she started playing. It was her mother that introduced her to music. It was her mother that she was doing this for. It was all for the woman who had loved her. He couldn’t say he didn’t understand. He couldn’t deny her way of living either. Somehow, it felt like she was saying that in his stead. And her feelings sneaked into his heart without him knowing. For the woman who had shown great care and love for her daughter. For the woman who showed true love to her son.

He never understood, nor did he want to understand his mother’s sentiment, reasoning, or feelings about her own son. The root of her actions towards him. But, seeing MC play the piano, he could tell what love had been blessed to the girl sitting next to him, seemingly in her own world every time her fingers produced beautiful music. The same love his mother had blessed him with. And, his senses picked up her soul captured by all the pieces she played. As vivid as a picture taken by camera. As everlasting and colorful as a painting drawn on a blank white canvas.

A warm, small hand touched his chest, much to his shock. His face was red as beet. “Wh-what are you...?!”

“Your soul seeks for liberation, your heart seeks for color. You may not hear it, but your questions speak its voice. Music is the voice of my soul. Don’t you want to know the color of yours?”

Her question had him lost, her curious eyes forced an opening in his heart. The sudden feeling of realization surfaced the despair and longing suppressed by his stubbornness and hard logic. He held her hand placed on his chest, gripping it firm as if to seek comfort and reassurance. His expression was weak. “…Don’t you get it? It is too late for me. I am carved to be a businessman since I was born.”

And if he exposed himself, he would be criticized for it-- he let the thought unspoken.

“…It’s never too late to start anew. Your caged soul will find a way to release itself. And, please do…” her downcast eyes and pleading voice seemed to portray a hidden regret and sorrow, as if she was speaking through experience.

“But,” his voice was stern yet feeble. “in reality, art just doesn’t guarantee stability. It doesn’t give you much standing in society.”

“Success doesn’t always have to come from how people think about you. And, ‘success’ differs from person to person, isn’t it? If you’re too focused worrying about others’ opinions, you will lose yourself.”

“Well, you’re not wrong, but…”

“I’m sure you will be able to release yourself in art and see how beautiful your color can become.”

He was lost once more. Not the lost from confusion, but from the comfort and warmth that struck his heart like thunderbolt. It felt like his mother was in front of him. When he was mad at her, he was certain his old way was right. But, the sentence coming out from a stranger he just met brought his subconscious to his conscious, to let him know the doubt that had been with him and shed light upon it. Written on his face were vulnerability and hesitation.

He and MC were alike yet different. He was told that the world of arts was an escapism for losers who couldn’t accomplish anything in life, who clung to false hope, but it didn’t seem like it when she played the piano, when his mother praised and supported his art. But, he shouldn’t accept it. He was sculpted to have the mind of a businessman, a contradiction to the world of arts. He was afraid to know more about art, but her curious words magnetized him and shrouded his vision from the cold logic his father had implanted in him.

“MC, are you going to be here again tomorrow?”

There was a brief pause. “…Why?”

He held out his pinky finger in front of her. “Next time we meet, let’s exchange our thoughts again.”

Her golden eyes merely stared at his finger. There was a flint of hesitation in her eyes, whispering unspoken words, but it was quickly dismissed as both pinkies intertwined. A symbol of their promise and hope.

“I would hope so.” she responded with the first sincere smile she ever gave him, to which he responded with a blush and smile. In front of her, he seemed to be able to share some of his insecurities. In front of her, there was a certain air of relaxation he could submit himself into, a comfort that he wished could stay as everlasting as the sun.

***

The night was no longer silent. The blazing fire engulfed everything in its path, swallowing his house whole. He could faintly hear everyone panicking from outside for him and his mother. But, there was no use. If only he could turn back time and make things right, if only he could give his mother a chance, if only he apologized before the fire of hell took lives in this house. The thought didn’t stop, the last moment he had with his mother replayed in his head repeatedly, the insolence he showed, the dejected look she had that time. His disarrayed thoughts were leaking through his horrified face as his widened eyes stared at the lifeless body of the woman who used to be his mother. The blood on her body and dilated pupils exhibited an abrupt and violent death. Afterwards, everything went black. The scene was forever engraved in his memory.

It had been five days since the fire took place, since he was hospitalized. Jumin made frequent visits, but none of them cheered V up, though it shouldn’t be. He just lost his mother. He responded to their chats like normal, albeit very dejected and lost. Everything, every memory that led up to that moment, all of the good and bad memories were rewritten into the day when he lost his only true path to happiness, when he lost his identity as Jihyun Kim along with the only person who had ever truly loved him. Everything was vague, except for the change that would not return him to the puppet his father polished him to be.

With Jumin’s advice and encouragement, he would wake up every day with renewed life and scar in his heart forever tattooed. He stood in front of the piano that had been used by the girl whose presence was engraved in his memory—supposedly. But now, he could barely remember it. He couldn’t capture the feelings and moments of those short two days. Her face, her voice, her hand touching his heart, it became vague. He couldn’t remember what she looked like because every time he tried, his mother appeared instead. But, he remembered the promise they made. He sat on the piano stool, and with his hand dolefully placed on the spot where she used to be. She was no longer here.

According to Jumin, the day they were supposed to meet, she moved away. Their promise was left unfulfilled. And, the memory of MC was completely forgotten in years, until the day when their reunion redirected him to the path he was supposed to tread, until once again her lecture and support made him rewind back to the moment his mother was still there, and to the moment they shared their souls in that piano room.

[athens119]

V is such a poetic dad, I love it.

[athens119]

After playing Another Story

...That would be mine.

And everyone else who played V’s route, Ray’s route, and/or Secret Endings.

[athens119]

Saeran needs to be able to stand up on his own. Spoiling him isn't something that sprouts the development he needs. He needs guidance first, not someone who caters to his every thirst for affection, especially if it's twisted and downright OBSESSION. It's possible to like one character and not hate the other, but this is NOT the trait I've seen in his fans so far. They're too busy spoiling their wounded puppy to realize what is actually good for him, for his own sake, and hate those who hurt him. Like that’s gonna make his psyche any better. Also, V did say that he hoped Rika wouldn’t hurt the RFA, or MC, or “that boy” (day 9 chatroom).

I think he said this once or twice. He said this when he was still affected by the drug. He still thinks about Saeran even in that state.

I’ve mentioned it in a post before, that if V told the truth, Seven could end up getting killed by Saeran (or other ARMED believers there). Do you think Seven wouldn’t rush out to save Saeran (of course, before/after having a mental breakdown, rage fit, and lash at V)? Oh, he definitely would. And then V would lose Seven after Saeran. Just because one choice is bad, doesn’t mean the other is better.

There are things that V could’ve handled better if it weren’t for his obsession and self-sacrificing tendency, and his belief in love. He approached things wrong in the first place, but hating him for the mistake he made with the intention to protect what he still could protect (I say this because Saeran is in Rika’s hands and is very much someone he failed to protect) is your heart and impulse rushing you to scream without a care for the world or the content. Especially dumber if you say he is a dipshit, a villain, a jerk, and whatnot. What kind of a dipshit doesn’t even want to hurt the one who’s abusing him? What kind of a villain who thinks of protecting those he loves? What kind of jerk who doesn’t want to involve others in his mess because he is afraid the outcome will hurt them? What kind of evil thinks he’s better off dead because he thinks everything is his fault and doesn’t want to hurt anyone anymore? Yeah, some villain he is (sarcasm intended). Selfish he might be, abnormal he might be, but if you just step out of that comfort zone of black and white, you’ll the bigger picture that you decide to overlook because you can’t or don’t want to think through. He doesn’t know any better. Think your words twice before lashing out. It just makes you look insane and dumb.

Anyway, I understand your frustration but don’t waste your breath lecturing those people to be more wide-eyed and open-minded. Our times are precious enough not to waste it on those who prefer to shut their heart, ears, and eyes. And I just wasted mine. I love MM, but the fandom disgusts me.

what i don’t understand is how saeran and V have so many parallels as both dudes abused physically and emotionally and drugged and gaslighted by the same woman and this is to an ANVILLICIOUS point where cheritz just outright lays it out in the dialogue in case you were too much of a dumbass to catch the drift before since V stays away from pity partying himself openly:

can it get any more obvious or? i dont have any screenshots of MC’s cold treatment towards saeran and his panic responses since I generally was friendly towards ray in my playthrough but you guys know exactly what i’m talking about when I say this sort of shit mirrors his behavior near perfectly. and yet 50% of this fuckin bright fanbase thinks in utter blacks and whites when it comes to either of them and their brain can only go as far to count Pity Suffering Points to try to arrange a dumbass ranking of Who Deserves To Be Happy Or Not as if you can’t consider fictional characters as a whole as human fuckin characters once you like one or the other

[athens119]

I don’t ever reblog anything, but there’s too much to say and I agree with your points.

V's mistake to Rika that I've seen her fans are angry about is worsening her mentality. Loving her too much and didn't love her devil is much bigger compared to torture and brainwash, forcing people into her belief just to prove herself? If she truly wanted to help people, she would've followed it through, without V. V did use Rika to empower his light, as Rika uses V to empower her darkness. It wasn’t healthy but at least, V tried to change. When V started to let go of Rika, he didn't abandon her. At that point, whatever he does to help her won't be taken well by her. V had to remove himself from Rika, for both their sakes. Rika is someone who believes that her mental illness defines her. If she believes it is a part of her identity, she won’t believe she can or has to change. Because, as Rika stated, it is her.

No matter how hard you try to change her, she has to change her belief first. And, as Seven said, she is beyond repair. V might make her think she is the darkness, but the one who told her to follow her darkness and made her come up with that conclusion is no one but her. She chose her actions and thought process. You say V didn’t try hard enough to help her? There is a limit to how hard a person can try, and all those efforts amount to nothing if it’s not received or listened to. Everyone deserves better, even Rika, but there is no point if she vehemently refuses it like her life depends on it. She views the world in black and white, not seeing the gray shade that exists in between.

I also noticed there are many inconsistencies in her words. But, if you think it through, see the deeper meaning, connect the dots, it makes sense. Especially in her case, don’t take her words at face value.

If you want to compare her to someone, look at Seven and Saeran, and see for yourself how similar yet different they are. If you want to hate someone, do have some sensible reason. A certain V’s hater Rika’s lover (I think all you V fans know who I’m talking about) shows this kind of irrationality. Not for hating/loving V/Rika, but for standing up for the reasons that are just as delusional as Rika. And I’m not saying this with ill-will. I’m just stating it for what it is. I didn’t care about this person before, or knew what it was all about that ticked off many V fans(or maybe others too). But, when I saw it firsthand… wow.

In terms of the sexism, I’ve seen much. I saw one post about people hating Rika because she is the love rival. In that sense, she really is worrying, but not in a way a love rival could snatch your man away. But, in a way she could snatch his well-being, or torture and kill him. Also, she’s not really a love rival if she is also obsessed with us. I actually think Rika is beautiful, but her gender and appearance have nothing to do with her crime. If you can’t find a reason to hate a fandom, don’t make things up.

Many people here love V/Rika due to how relatable they are. Don’t get me wrong. I relate to V in a lot of sense, but I also relate to Rika, with her speech about her darkness and all (to a certain degree). Darkness is a comfortable place and light is something one doesn’t deserve, and whatnot. But, I will NEVER drag other people into my own issues, let alone hurting them. And I also know it’s not right to think like this. You can’t choose what situation you want to be in, but you can choose how you react to them. Being sympathetic is great, but not too much or you’ll be no different from Rika, who, as V said, started her cult due to her massive sympathy. Slip in some common sense there as well, won’t you?

okay what the hecc

So I’ve been seeing stuff about the idea of V selling child porn of pictures of Rika and whether he raped her. So here I am going to throw around some key points on why I believe this is not the case.

- Ages: lmao that mm timeline tho. (Tbh I feel like cheritz kinda mixed up the time line quite a bit so I feel that’s part of the reason why the age thing is crazy is bc that bc one thing I noticed in the v route was that they still said they were same age as like casual story despite the fact another story takes place two years earlier BUT i can’t prove much with that so im gonna discuss the information I do know) Okay so V and Rika have a 3 year time gap going by the ages they are. (And someone could of also pointed out the age said on the vip package could be referring to her age when she “committed suicide” but that can’t be confirmed obviously) now the 3 year time gap isn’t that wild. I’m not sure fully about the laws in South Korea but I know where I’m from, if you’re a minor it’s only considered pedophilia if the two do not fit within the three year age gap. So 18 year old and 15 year old is nothing that taboo ma dudes.

- V never sold pictures of Rika. In fact, in one of the parts of the secret endings V mentions how someone had liked a picture of Rika smiling that was displayed in his gallery. They had wanted to buy it, but V told him he could not buy the picture. So we can clearly see that V was not selling pictures of Rika.

- Now V just making some pornography? No. If you notice by the way he acts he’s very submissive, he’s concerned about what Rika wants. It was always what do you want Rika? I’ll do anything for you. Now don’t get me wrong. This attitude is not healthy. Some people in fact have been using one of V’s bad endings where he was taking the photos of MC. This is again an example where V becomes unhealthily submissive in the relationship and does what MC wants. Now if V was taking highly inappropriate pictures we can’t exactly prove it. So I’ll let you decide. Do I think he was? No.

- Another thing I’ve seen is that people think V made up that Rika committed suicide to cover up any crimes he did. I disagree with this and I even talked about this with an internet frand. (Hello if ur reading this you know who you are I didn’t know if I should mention you are not have a nice day!) and okay here’s the reasons.

If v said there was a murder a body would have to be shown as proof and all

If he said she ran away it could be this crazy search

If he went and straight up told the rfa “hey Rika started a fucking cult in the mountains” you know would freak the fuck out? Yoosung. And in his state of mind he would go to her! And fall right into her trap. He would end up brainwashed like the rest of the members of mint eye.

Also Rika could of been like hey bishes Jihyun is lyin COME SEE ME. But nope.

- Now another thing that was discussed with some cool peeps. Why didn’t V tell Jumin about what really happened to Rika.

V didn’t want to ruin that image of Rika for Jumin especially with how close Rika was to Jumin.

Fear. How could this effect everything? Could it hurt Jumin? Jumin’s reputation? The RFA members? How would they react? Fear also takes place in how Rika treated V. Which leads to reason 3.

Rika abused V. I feel that V felt trapped. Which from my situation when I dealt with my abuser I felt the same. I know everyone’s experiences are different and I know that my experience has differences with V’s but I see so many similarities. When you’re in this state where someone’s hurting you or threatening you, etc. You don’t know what to do. You want to do something but you’re afraid, you’re confused. You don’t know what to do. You don’t know how to do some of these things. You aren’t thinking logically. I see that a lot in V’s situation so that’s why I’m saying my experience. V shows a lot of common traits of abuse victims. Oh yeah because he is one.

- V and Rika’s relationship. There was flaws coming from both of them in this toxic relationship. V’s obsession and self sacrificing nature. Which he admitted his flaws. And then Rika tended to take advantage of how V‘s unhealthy submissiveness like when v said she could hurt him in every way. When that happened. She told him to prove that he loved her right before I believe before it’s implied she blinded him at that part. The way she said it it seems like she was taking advantage of what V he said. While V’a self sacrificing nature is toxic, Rika’s behavior is also toxic and abusive. Another flaw with Rika was her refusal to get help. In the secret endings it shows when v got her therapy and after a few sessions she had already wanted to quit. V did try to convince her to keep going but she insisted that she didn’t want to. V could not just force her to go to therapy. It wasn’t until another story until it was revealed Rika was taking meds at the time too. (I’m mentioning this because people used to claim that v took her off her meds before another story even came out.) so v wanted Rika getting help. But she refused. Like I said V can’t drag her to therapy, he can’t force her to take her meds y’all. ,,,,,,

- god I hate that I have to even discuss this jfc but here we are. Sexism. Hating Rika for her wrongness and liking V has NOTHING to do with sexism. If Rika was a male NO I HAD WOULD NOT LOVE HER AND BE LIKE UWU MY BEAUTIFUL ABUSIVE SON. Yes yes I’ve seen the stalking killing whatever it’s called fandom being like “OOO I LOVE IT WHEN HE KILLS PEOPLE SOO HOT” yeah that’s gross, killing and abusing people isn’t sexy fyi. ANYWAY, V fans recognize flaws from both characters. We recognize V’s flaws. We’re not dumb. But we also acknowledge that ding dong Rika is an abuser and she abused V. So stop it with the sexism bs.

I think I’ve mostly covered what I wanted to say for now. I will probably add more later on and I’d like to even provide screenshots. I haven’t done that already due to the limited storage on my phone, I apologize.

[athens119]

About Rika’s stepparents...

Y’all can hate Rika, V, Saeran, or Seven for all I care. It’s your right to like and hate somebody (though I find some of the reasons to be too biased and ignorant). But, seriously, if there is someone to hate or blame, shouldn’t it be Rika’s stepparents? It’s already hinted they’re not liked even by Yoosung’s relatives. And, I don’t know about the adoption procedure in Korea, but shouldn’t there be a background check for the parents? How come they were allowed to adopt? Did the adoption center not check on her every once in a while? What’s the point of adopting her if they don’t and will never like her? Based on my perception, they seem to be the root of the problem. If they had shown love to her when she was little, maybe she wouldn’t have to end up that way.

There’s a lot more I want to say, but I’m going to hold back. I apologize in advance to anyone who might be offended by this, but I mean no harm and I’m merely stating my curiosity and be as objective as I can.

[athens119]

Personal Opinion (take it or leave it)

FFXIII trilogy may not be the best Final Fantasy game, but Hope and Lightning’s bond is one of the best, most beautiful and inspirational relationships Square Enix has ever created in FF franchise (or the best of them all). In FFXIII, Lightning was there for him as he went through grief, hatred, and confusion, helping him grow to become the man he is today. And in LR, Hope returned the hand that was outstretched to him with his. It was mutual, give and take. And to think this bond lasted for 1000 years (and they’re not even in a romantic relationship).

Aristotle once said:

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”

Mencius once said:

“Friendship is one mind in two bodies.”

Their bond can be interpreted as love or friendship, but a bond that’s composed of both love and friendship is when no other person can complete you as much as that person completes you, when time is just as much an obstacle as a pebble in your path of togetherness, when both has become a mirror to each other, and when both are just as much like-minded as they are a contradiction to each other.

Quote by Lisa Kleypas in her book Blue-Eyed Devil:

“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”

Quote by Lao Tzu:

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

While love doesn’t always have to mean romance, it can also mean compassion, care, adoration. Hope’s courage has always stood firm and timeless regardless of any suffering that’s befallen upon him, in which such bravery has always been owing to the trust he placed on Lightning, because he believed, because she was always there to him. Because of her, he didn’t have to fear.

For me, the hitting point was the everlasting bond of 1000 years in which during those years they were facing their own battles, obstacles, downfalls, enduring pain or loss (mostly in Hope part), and yet still view each other as partners.

As stated above, this is MERELY a personal thought, though it is not without careful observation and multiple times of replaying the trilogy and other FF games, and based on the analysis of shadowmeowth, hopefulencounter, tensai-shoujo, etc.