athenawritesandkeepsplants

[athenawritesandkeepsplants]

[athenawritesandkeepsplants]

My babies

[athenawritesandkeepsplants]

It starts with a spreadsheet.

Specifically, an Excel document someone in Wayne Enterprises accidentally forwards to the entire League instead of the quarterly board meeting attendees. A spreadsheet titled:

Q4 GOTHAM OPS RECONSTRUCTED (Re: budgetary concerns vis-à-vis teenage sidekicks)

Diana opens it. Hal opens it. Arthur laughs for 7 minutes straight.

Clark scrolls in real-time. His heart skips four beats at column headers like:

• “Robin 3 (emotional support incidents per week)”

• “Cape damage: blunt trauma vs aesthetic damage”

• “Estimated Batmobile repair cost (explosions only)”

There is an entire subsection called “Miscellaneous Jason-Related Fires.”

Wally reposts the file on the Watchtower server under a new name:

BAT’S CHILD ARMY COST ANALYSIS

Oliver makes a snide comment. “And you said I spoil my kids?”

Bruce, to his credit, tries to be professional about it.

“They’re line items,” he says tightly during the next meeting. “We are a paramilitary vigilante operation. This is a tools and personnel budget.”

“Bruce,” Diana says gently, “There’s a bullet point that just says ‘Steph: glitter-related damages.’”

Batman says nothing. But his eye twitches.

There’s also a note next to Damian’s name that simply reads “Do NOT cut own bangs again — medical.”

Clark, trying not to laugh, scrolls to the bottom and finds a highlighted cell titled “Mental Health Contingency Fund.”

It’s color-coded.

Jason has three rows.

Tim’s says “just let him nap.”

Dick’s says “therapy but make it trapeze?”

Damian’s is just a question mark.

Bruce’s is blacked out.

Clark doesn’t say anything. He just gently takes Bruce’s hand under the table and squeezes.

Bruce doesn’t pull away.

Steph sends out a revised file the next morning with cat memes inserted in the margins and a watermark that says “WE ARE A FUNCTIONAL FAMILY :)”

Jason hacks into it and changes every formula to spell out “BUY ME MORE BOMBS.”

By the end of the week, Lucius has revoked spreadsheet privileges from everyone under 30.

No one learns a lesson.

But the League does start a betting pool on which Batkid is going to destroy the most vehicles next quarter.

[athenawritesandkeepsplants]

fml we gotta do everything ourselves here

GET BOOPED SUCKEEERS

[athenawritesandkeepsplants]

"too sweet" being at least partly inspired by hozier waking up late, still drunk from the night before, realizing he was running late to the airport and running into a wall and falling over, then getting on the plane and realizing he was bleeding profusely from a head wound sustained from his fall earlier that morning, only to look up and see famous irish actor cillian murphy knelt down beside his seat talking to him is the funniest thing i've learned all day.

[athenawritesandkeepsplants]

saw this today

[athenawritesandkeepsplants]

Pictish drip was insane. Look at this choker:

[athenawritesandkeepsplants]

love shakespeare. did a hamlet run tonight, looked someone dead in the eye to say “am i a coward?” during a speech and the fucker shrugged and nodded

[athenawritesandkeepsplants]

I love talking to kids about disability bc

1. they often just Get It, and

2. they have 0 concept of disability as a tragedy or something pitiable.

I've watched kids get into an argument with a teacher bc they thought wheelchairs were cool. I told a kid that I can't stand for too long sometimes and they replied, "That's okay, I can't do cartwheels sometimes, but I just do other stuff then. You can sit down with me if you want". Today a girl asked me what the headphones on a classmate's desk were for and I told her that headphones are important for some kids because noises bother them, and she said she wished she had headphones at home, because her baby brothers make a lot of noise and it makes it hard to think. The idea that different people could use tools at different times is intuitive and simple and when accessibility aids are explained neutrally, kids don't see them as bad or unfortunate, they're just things that are useful.

Even mental disability!! In Kindergarten the other day one of the kids asked me why his table partner got stickers when nobody else did. I started off by saying, "Well, when you do your work well, it feels good, right? That's your brain giving you a reward," and the kid just right away went, "Oh, and the stickers are like his reward?" YES! You are 5 and have a better grasp on ADHD than most adults! Kids blow me away every day.

[athenawritesandkeepsplants]

starting a collection. pierre talking to natasha in war and peace

[athenawritesandkeepsplants]

The Day Book, Chicago, January 6, 1912

[athenawritesandkeepsplants]

drink your coffee. read your books. it's chaos out there.

[athenawritesandkeepsplants]

[athenawritesandkeepsplants]

Sorry I Spent all mY spoons this week already and it's fucking Tuesday. We're heading to the knives

[athenawritesandkeepsplants]

[athenawritesandkeepsplants]

twenty years across the sea

[athenawritesandkeepsplants]