atestimonyaday

[atestimonyaday]

My brain just made this connection and I am inexplicably delighted.

[atestimonyaday]

“God must love LGBT people because He keeps making more of us.”

Possibly my new favorite statement.

My response to question about scriptural ban on homosexual activity

I’m in a Facebook group where a member of the LDS church asked “How do you approach the multiple text that have condemned specific natures of homosexuality? Do you see something contrary (in context to the verses that go from new revelations-Old Testament), to what I might have misinterpreted as a no?” 

This is my reply:

————————————————————-

I am a gay member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I don’t want to get into a debate or a big back-and-forth, but this is my viewpoint. 1) I’ve studied the Biblical references about same-gender sexual activity and mostly they refer to pagan worship rituals, going against your own inborn nature, unbridled lust, violence against others, and most interestingly seem to be about straight men committing these actions. There are bans on the heterosexual equivalents but no one surmises this means all opposite-gender sex activity is banned. The Bible also has passages that suggest loving, committed relationships between two people of the same gender is okay. Ruth & Naomi, Jonathan & David, Daniel & Ashpenaz, the centurion & his “servant.” Eunuchs can be thought of as non-gender binary and a sexual minority. They went from being outright banned in the worshipping community to full fellowship.  Jesus taught men & women are to marry each other. Then gave an exception - if you’re divorced and remarry, you’re adulterers. Then gave a second exception for eunuchs with an interesting description of who the eunuchs are. (Does this mean marriage for me doesn’t involve a woman or does it mean I’m excused from marriage…“All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given”) 2) Also, God did not come down and write these words. These are men who "see through a glass darkly.” Not everything is clear. There is an element of each man who received inspiration and struggled to put it into words. Translations also can change or confuse things. 3) I have trouble believing that our Heavenly Parents are the authors of diversity but then fail to account for it in “the Plan.” I believe I’m included in God’s plan, just maybe not in the church’s version of this plan. I recently had a conversation with a Seventy who said that as a gay man I’m not seen in The Plan as the church understands it, “and yet, here you are.” “Yes, here I am, and God must love LGBT people because He keeps making more of us.” The Seventy shared his belief that a lot of the things we struggle to understand will be made clear during the Millennium and blessings will be spread to many who didn’t get them during mortality.  I took that to mean, blessings that could be had now will be given to those who were denied them. 4) I receive revelations for me. It’s bothered me for a long time that some of what I receive contradicts the church. The personal messages have been consistent over the years and thankfully some of the contradictions from my teenage years are no longer contradictions as the church has shifted to match some of what God tells me. 5) I feel like I’m forced into the same situation as Adam & Eve, I have two contradicting laws. The church clearly bans gay relationships. God says to me this is fine. Which one is the higher law? One way feels blessed and natural, the other way feels forced and a constant struggle. I see LGBTQ believers doing the best we can with the understanding we have. I feel God’s love. I feel his gentle nudges and hear the promptings. The Gospel is meant to be “good news,” but too often it’s portrayed as the opposite to those who are LGBTQ. We are meant to have joy in this life, not just in the life to come. That joy most often comes by having a companion with whom we emotionally, physically and spiritually connect. (I know some will wonder, and while it’s no one else’s business, let me share that I’m a member in good standing, I’ve held/hold high-profile callings and have a recommend. My church leaders and I speak candidly and although I date, they still consider me temple worthy.)

[atestimonyaday]

I love the idea of this blog, is it okay to submit things like quotes or scriptures or other things? :D

Absolutely! Between work + family + grad school + church service, I’ve regrettably let this blog fall by the wayside. I’d be happy to accept submissions of favorite quotes/scriptures/inspirational thoughts to share and uplift us all! 

[atestimonyaday]

-Jacob 7

[atestimonyaday]

My Hope for Great Things to Come

In our Sunday School class this week, we covered Isaiah 50-53. As I looked at the chapters covered, I was sure that our focus would be on the Saviors life and atoning sacrifice as described in Isaiah 53:3-5. These are scripture mastery verses (or at least, they were when I was in seminary and it was still referred to as scripture mastery), and they are frequently referenced in church classes. 

I was surprised, however, when the discussion began by referencing the second Official Declaration, included at the back of the Doctrine and Covenants. The teacher, my husband, and I were the only three in the class (of about 12-15) who were not alive at the time the declaration was released, and so the teacher asked anyone who could remember to share what their reactions were at the time the announcement was made. 

Aware of the promises made by the prophets and presidents of the Church who have preceded us that at some time, in God’s eternal plan, all of our brethren who are worthy may receive the priesthood, and witnessing the faithfulness of those from whom the priesthood has been withheld, we have pleaded long and earnestly in behalf of these, our faithful brethren, spending many hours in the Upper Room of the Temple supplicating the Lord for divine guidance. (Official Declaration 2)

Most said that they were not surprised by it, or that they knew it would be happening eventually. One, who was a recent convert at the time and who had been assured/warned that it would happen at some point, thought “well, that happened quickly!” (I’m sure others who had been in the church for some time felt differently, of course). 

Some of the key points that stood out to me from our subsequent discussion:

The Priesthood was withheld not because these members weren’t worthy or faithful enough. It was withheld because the church, generally, was not faithful enough to accept it.  The law of consecration was given to the saints in the early days of the church, and then rescinded because they proved unable to live it. We know that consecration will be restored again at some future day, but for the present time, we continue to live the law of the tithe. The law of the tithe does not make consecration any less inevitable. Nor does the existence of an impending law of consecration make our faithful adherence to the law of the tithe somehow lesser or invalid. We live the commandments in place for us in our time, without prohibiting newer commandments that may supersede them in the future.

God’s plans and promises are eternal, and no one who seeks them will be denied the blessings of the gospel. Faithful members who were denied ordinances or priesthood ordinations in this life will assuredly receive those blessings in eternity. It is not up to us to comment on anyone’s divine inheritance, nor can we presume to understand the kingdoms of glory and their makeup. There is not just one right way to live the gospel, and we will each be rewarded according to our own individual circumstances.

Blacks and other members who had been denied the priesthood were still integrated, active members of the church. It was due to their faithfulness, despite restrictions imposed on them, that the brethren felt so strongly the need to plead with the Lord. These brethren were certainly not the first to plead with the Lord on this matter, but it was never the right time. “It was time” in 1978 because the membership of the church had already taken the steps to welcome and incorporate these minority members into the ward family. If we have hope for the Lord to change the policies of the church, we must show him that we are ready for it. We can begin living a higher law before it is defined and required of us.

We spent some time discussing this last point, that leaders of the church had been prayerfully considering the situation for many years, and they had been continuously told it was not the right time. They continued to pray and plead with the Lord concerning the matter.  

The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings. (“Prayer,” Bible Dictionary) 

Asking the Lord for change does not mean a lack of faith or rebellion against current policy. It merely represents hope for progress, so long as that prayer is accompanied by humility and willingness to accept the Lord’s will if the answer comes back “no” or “not yet.” The most sinful or slothful thing we can do is refuse to ask. If we are “anxiously engaged in a good cause” (D&C 58:26-28) the worst that can happen is that we will be blessed with inspiration as we learn more about the Lord’s ways. 

Despite the ultra-conservative culture that permeates most everything else in our branch, this discussion filled me with so much hope and love and optimism for the future of the Church. We lovingly discussed the correlation between Official Declaration 2 and faithful members of color, and faithful LGBTQ+ members today. Zero homophobia was expressed, and instead the conversation was laced with Christlike love and what verged on...understanding? 

All in all, it strengthened my testimony of the truthfulness and reality of this Gospel. Christ lives! His Gospel, His love is FOR EVERYONE, regardless of race, gender, sexuality, political opinion, economic standing or anything else that may seek to divide us. 

[atestimonyaday]

Found this in my notes from several months ago. Still so real.

[atestimonyaday]

[atestimonyaday]

At our Stake Relief Society activity this morning, one of the workshops talked about the need for Nephi to be spiritually recharged, but all I could think about was the women in that same story.

I imagine the experiences that Nephi endured were equally or even more challenging for Nephi's wife. She witnessed or experienced all that Nephi did--the trials, the persecution, the hardship and fatigue--but she didn't have the visions and priesthood and prophecies that he did.

Or, not that we hear about at least.

To me, I think she must've been equally as connected to the Lord to remain faithful and committed as she did. We all have different types of spiritual trials, different things that are asked of us as leaders or followers, but we all need our own personal connection to and testimony of the Savior.

[atestimonyaday]

“Are we active in the gospel–or are we merely busy in the church?”

— Gerald Causse (via mormonmonastery)

[atestimonyaday]

Can you teach me how to pray? I want to pray for you.

Massimo De Feo (April 2018 General Conference)

[atestimonyaday]

12 Times Relient K Summarized My Feelings About Christ And The Atonement

1. “Before I could see that You could take all my troubles from me– before I knew You– I was so incomplete.” (There Was Another Time In My Life)

2. “No one told me how bad I’d need You, but I somehow arrived at that conclusion all by myself.” (Give Until There’s Nothing Left)

3. “Never underestimate my Jesus. When the world around you crumbles, He will be strong.” (For The Moments I Feel Faint)

4. “This life sentence that I’m serving, I admit that I’m every bit deserving. But the beauty of Grace is that it makes life not fair.” (Be My Escape)

5. “I celebrate the day that You were born to die so I could one day pray for You to save my life.” (I Celebrate The Day)

6. “I’ve been a liar and I’ll never amount to the kind of person You deserve to worship You. You say You will not dwell on what I did, but rather what I do. You say, ‘I love you, and that’s what you are getting yourself into.’” (Getting Into You)

7. “When the doors were closed, I heard no I-told-you-so’s. I said the words I knew You knew: ‘Oh God, Oh God, I needed You. God, all this time, I needed You.’” (I So Hate Consequences)

8. “You make me sure, in the midst of heartbreak and turbulence, that my spirit soars only because it’s Yours.” (Nothing Without You)

9. “You’re the only one who understands completely. You’re the only one who knows me yet still loves completely.” (I Am Understood?)

10. “You’re the only person who reminds me love is beautiful and true, life is beautiful and new.” (Don’t Blink)

11. “I’ll watch the glint in my eye shine off the spring in my step, and it could be blinding depending on the amount of You that I reflect.” (Forget And Not Slow Down)

12. “With every passing second comes a second chance.” (Fallen Man)

Happy Easter, everyone!! Don’t forget to remember Christ today, and every day, and express your gratitude for the incomprehensible, miraculous gift of His love and sacrifice!

“Never forget: there’s life after death (and taxes). And forgiveness comes, then all of the rest is what passes away. Death and decay can’t touch us now.” 

(Life After Death And Taxes)

[atestimonyaday]

Not only this, but I learned last night from a friend of mine who has had a lot of interaction with his family (her fiancé grew up in Elder Gong's home ward), that he also has a lot of ties/involvement in the LGBTQ+ community. One of his children is a very active ambassador for LDS-LGBTQ+ connections, and it makes my heart happy to think that someone so close to a hugely underrepresented segment of the church is joining the Quorum of the 12.

anyway, I just want to expand a little bit on how important Elder Gong’s calling to the Apostleship is to me, personally, as an Asian American (and a first gen born to immigrant parents at that). To say I was surprised when I heard his name called is a massive understatement. I almost didn’t believe it until I saw him and Elder Soares and their beautiful skin tones take their seats with the brethren and I promptly started bawling my eyes out. I didn’t think people of color would be called to be apostles until way later on down the line because, I’ll admit, I did think that the idea of “Mormon royalty and seniority” (i.e. white men with connections to the men who had originally established the church. I was/am very naive ok) had a part in playing who gets called, but it is more clear to me now that God calls who He calls. And that’s the pure nature of it. I mean, the highest calling J. Reuben Clark (not that I’m very fond of him but forgiveness was talked about a lot in this past session) held before being called to the first presidency was something like Sunday school teacher I think? Or a ward clerk? Idk but my point is is that I feel, in my own personal life, that Elder Gong was called for me and the love I felt that God had for me, individually, in that moment is monumental. The stress and heartache of white people always taking our roles in popular media and always silencing our voices was just lifted as I came to the realization that an Asian man would be speaking the words of God as one of His chosen apostles. And I hope that all members of color see these two new apostles and stay hopeful and know that they are represented and truly loved.

[atestimonyaday]

I guess I've just been thinking about how life is hard sometimes. There are days when I honestly don't know how I can keep my head above water, how I can keep moving forward, how I can live with the fact that my best efforts are simply not enough and I will assuredly let someone down. I had another one of those weeks this week. But amazingly, as He always does, the Lord somehow got me through it. No, everything was not checked off the to-do list, and not everything that was checked off got done as well or as early as I would have liked. But I survived. Anyway, reading these verses tonight just really comforted me in a way. I felt a connection to the Savior, in this moment of His own vulnerability. The times when He, too, questioned the seemingly insurmountable task that lay before Him. There's something so real about this--a reminder that the Savior we worship is not a myth. He truly lived, and His life was not easy. But through it all, His faith, humility, and submissiveness to the Lord's will is what got him through. And that's what I can fall back on, too.

[atestimonyaday]

Oh, to be so happy. <3

[atestimonyaday]

i have a question that's aimed at tumblrstake in general but i want to keep it anonymous so i'm asking you. i recently went through the temple and i did not have a good experience. it wasn't because of the ritualistic elements (my escort told me that it's not really much more than rituals they do in the catholic church) but it just felt wrong. i don't know if i was unprepared or what but the whole time i was there, i couldn't shake the feeling that i shouldn't be there. i had 2 experiences that

… i think were confirmation that i should be there but it still felt really wrong afterward. maybe i was just overwhelmed but i don’t think most people end up crying afterward (unless it’s happy crying). i feel better than i did immediately after but i still feel weird about it and i don’t know what to do. i really thought it was supposed to be my next step but i know it shouldn’t have felt that way. any advice would be lovely x

——————-

I am actually so happy that you reached out about this! First and foremost, I want to tell you that you are not the only one who has felt this way after going through the temple for their own endowments! I have heard from several of my friends that their first experience with the temple was not the glowing, tears-of-joy type experience that it is often romanticized to be. For me, I was actually a little underwhelmed because I’d braced myself for it being a really freaky, ritualistic thing and it turned out to be way milder than I anticipated, so I guess everyone has something. Some members have concerns about how the ordinances differ for men and women, some don’t like the presentation aspect, some don’t like the ritualistic elements, as you mentioned. I came away with a question about why the creation account in the temple differed from the accounts I was used to (and studied at BYU) in the scriptures. 

Secondly, I just want to remind you that Satan LOVES to discourage us from making spiritual progress, and will do literally everything he can to prevent us from moving forward. If you answered every question in the temple recommend interview honestly, then I truly believe that the feeling that you “shouldn’t be there” wasn’t from Heavenly Father. Maybe it is your mind/spirit holding on to some past transgression instead of accepting that the Atonement is able to fully cleanse you through repentance. Or maybe it is just Satan, knowing your spiritual capacity and scared of what you might accomplish, trying to scare you away from this “next step.” 

As far as advice, there are three things I would recommend: 

1. Go back to the temple as soon as you are able. Perform the ordinances again, as proxy for a relative or someone else who has passed, but think about the promises and blessings as they relate to you personally. I found that doing the ordinances again helped me understand and feel more comfortable with them, since I wasn’t so focused on keeping up or trying not to make any mistakes. If possible, take a friend with you whom you trust enough to share your concerns with. Talk about your concerns in the celestial room, or outside of it, before changing back into your street clothes. If you don’t have someone you can take with you that you trust, bring a journal with you. Although you can’t take anything extra like that with you as you do the ordinances, I would often sit in the foyer area of the temple (just in my church clothes, since it’s an open area) and write in my journal before going back “into the world.” 

2. Reread your patriarchal blessing, and pray for confirmation about the covenants you made in the temple. Your patriarchal blessing may help you understand why you felt the way you did in the temple. Is there something big in your future that Satan is afraid of (whether that’s a mission, a family, church service, etc.)? Is there something else you can do to come closer to Heavenly Father and feel more comfortable in His presence? I believe that prayer and personal revelation will be able to provide some enlightenment. 

3. If the first two don’t help resolve the issue, I would consult with your parents and/or your bishop for additional guidance. They know you and your situation better than we do and may be able to provide more specific recommendations. Their stewardship is more limited, but you are a part of it which means they are entitled to some amount of revelation on your behalf and that can be very helpful. If you don’t feel you can go to your parents or your bishop, maybe you can pray for help to build that relationship.

Best of luck and feel free to message again if you have more questions! 

[atestimonyaday]

Mortality is actually an open-ended choose-your-own-adventure story.

Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf

[atestimonyaday]

Your life will be infinitely better if you allow the Lord to guide your footsteps.

Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf