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A group of threes is called a foretht

a group of 1's is called a 5

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Cracking open a cold sore with the boys

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This is actually how we got Star Wars. George Lucas extrapolated whole cultures and histories after finding a single jizz-wailers nalargon key.

imagine if all traces of human civilization were wiped away except for a fishstick. could it all be reverse engineered perhaps

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The world of Ultimate Gaming

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Ugh another gnome got drunk on old berries and drowned in the bird feeder, and the cremation place is booked through the month. Is it unethical to just toss him in the compost?

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gee, thanks for helping me solve my nondeterministic polynomial-time complete problem!

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When you drop an almond on the floor it becomes A Creature and scurries away

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The last raspberry just died destitute and penniless. In lieu of flowers, please pluck a seed from its grave.

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The last gnome just died in captivity. He is survived for now by his miserable adopted family and contraband arthropod menagerie.

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The last carpenter ant just overdosed on sawdust

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Hey I know you put in all that effort constructing this elaborate strawman and yeah no I get it it was really just a rhetorical device to humiliate me but that's all in the past. We're lovers now. Me and the strawman. Yeah he's already replaced you in my will. We're trying for strawchildren.

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I need him so bad 🥵

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My soup knife is serrated. Not that it's a more effective utensil, but it takes the soup longer to heal from.

We all know of the soup spoon, but what of the humble soup knife?

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Inventing a new type of post but a patent squatter beat me to the core conceit and now I'm battling corporate lawyers in a court case well above my means

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This was going to be a 3000-page political fantasy epic but the economy took a dip and now we can only afford a mass-appeal action move with one-liners like "En passant, bitch"

chess board in near complete gridlock. no knight has moved in years. a lone pawn seeks promotion on the far side, but it will be a treacherous journey with no sure chance of success. the queen watches helplessly. these are where heroes thrive

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All Horrors Are Bastards

white whale jumpscare

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Visited Spokane once and like half the street parking was reserved for law enforcement. And I didn't even bring my spike strips on that trip

walmart had a reserved parking spot for "law enforcement"....no idea if that's BEEN a thing but i've certainly never come across it before