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I wanna put “this machine produces folk music” on a rifle

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I watched as the Lamb opened the first of the seven seals. Then I heard one of the four living creatures say in a voice like thunder, “Come!” I looked, and there before me was a white horse! Its rider held a bow, and he was given a crown, and he rode out as a conqueror bent on conquest.

When the Lamb opened the second seal, I heard the second living creature say, “Come!” Then another horse came out, a fiery red one. Its rider was given power to take peace from the earth and to make people kill each other. To him was given a large sword.

When the Lamb opened the third seal, I heard the third living creature say, “Come!” I looked, and there before me was a black horse! Its rider was holding a pair of scales in his hand. Then I heard what sounded like a voice among the four living creatures, saying, “Two pounds of wheat for a day’s wages, and six pounds of barley for a day’s wages, and do not damage the oil and the wine!”

When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, “Come!” I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth.

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me: i’m fine

internally: *the tunnel scene from willy wonka*

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i bought a set of watercolour paints on amazon a few days ago and in the product description it said it comes with a “free gift” so i was thinking “cool it’ll probably be like a paintbrush or sth” but the package just arrived and they sent me… a single serving of cat food????

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Scientists named the octopus cities Octopolis and Octlantis and I just - yes.

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this year is a never ending joke

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*me walking down the street*

*looks at the ground* 

“OOO A PIECE OF PUSSY” *picks it up and eats it*

“OOO A PIECE OF PUSSY” *picks it up and eats it*

“OOO A PIECE OF PUSSY” *picks it up 

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my four states of being