astronautken
mother of flowers
41K posts
tired, sad, anxious
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
astronautken · 6 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
ICONIC
325K notes · View notes
astronautken · 6 years ago
Text
I was cut off and nearly hit by a car with this bumper sticker
Tumblr media
so not only is the Twilight Revival real but they are out there and will kill u 
15K notes · View notes
astronautken · 6 years ago
Text
Anxiety Level: Barely conscious Steve Harrington waking up in a car with four children that have a death wish and one that is illegally driving.
37K notes · View notes
astronautken · 6 years ago
Text
you’re my favorite notification.
320K notes · View notes
astronautken · 6 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
John Mulaney Wins Outstanding Writing for a Variety Special for John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous at Radio City
268K notes · View notes
astronautken · 6 years ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
similar, yet opposite vibes
13K notes · View notes
astronautken · 6 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media
Taken with my iPhone.
846K notes · View notes
astronautken · 6 years ago
Text
want to.. kiss…. very sleepy
93K notes · View notes
astronautken · 6 years ago
Text
my flatmate has just rocked in with the two lesbianest lesbians i’ve ever seen and introduced them as “my sister and my sister’s… roommate”
112K notes · View notes
astronautken · 6 years ago
Video
Honestly, me too.
260K notes · View notes
astronautken · 6 years ago
Text
leader of a trio of college kids waking past me at walmart: okay. mission number two, finding where the popcorn is.
his friend: wait, what was mission number one?
leader: fucking getting here, travis.
221K notes · View notes
astronautken · 6 years ago
Text
The scene in Shrek 2 when the Fairy Godmother sings I need a Hero when the giant gingerbread man attacks the castle is still the greatest scene in cinema of all times
144K notes · View notes
astronautken · 6 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
https://www.businessinsider.com/how-much-money-billionaires-celebrities-make-per-hour-2018-8
157K notes · View notes
astronautken · 6 years ago
Text
Coraline is a masterfully made film, an amazing piece of art that i would never ever ever show to a child oh my god are you kidding me
719K notes · View notes
astronautken · 6 years ago
Text
infinity war
the avengers: okay we gotta figure out how to defeat thanos
peter: well you SEE we’ll use the bittenbinder method. everyone grab alka seltzer tabs and place them in your mouths to make it look like you have rabies. now we’ve thrown him off his rhythm,
31K notes · View notes
astronautken · 6 years ago
Text
last night one of my campers was like “well i lost one of my shoes in the swamp today” and i said “oh no!” and she shrugged and said “its ok. shoes are just objects” and damn. they really are
238K notes · View notes
astronautken · 6 years ago
Text
if i was on queer eye
‪‪bobby: are you using your dirty clothes as a carpet‬?
‪tan: did you just say that you bought this when you were in middle school‬?
‪jonathan: the majority of your hair is split ends‬
‪antoni: ok so typically peanut m&ms are not a breakfast food‬
‪karamo: why are you crying i haven’t said anything yet‬
69K notes · View notes