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I was cut off and nearly hit by a car with this bumper sticker
so not only is the Twilight Revival real but they are out there and will kill u
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Anxiety Level: Barely conscious Steve Harrington waking up in a car with four children that have a death wish and one that is illegally driving.
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John Mulaney Wins Outstanding Writing for a Variety Special for John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous at Radio City
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my flatmate has just rocked in with the two lesbianest lesbians i’ve ever seen and introduced them as “my sister and my sister’s… roommate”
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leader of a trio of college kids waking past me at walmart: okay. mission number two, finding where the popcorn is.
his friend: wait, what was mission number one?
leader: fucking getting here, travis.
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The scene in Shrek 2 when the Fairy Godmother sings I need a Hero when the giant gingerbread man attacks the castle is still the greatest scene in cinema of all times
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https://www.businessinsider.com/how-much-money-billionaires-celebrities-make-per-hour-2018-8
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Coraline is a masterfully made film, an amazing piece of art that i would never ever ever show to a child oh my god are you kidding me
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infinity war
the avengers: okay we gotta figure out how to defeat thanos
peter: well you SEE we’ll use the bittenbinder method. everyone grab alka seltzer tabs and place them in your mouths to make it look like you have rabies. now we’ve thrown him off his rhythm,
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last night one of my campers was like “well i lost one of my shoes in the swamp today” and i said “oh no!” and she shrugged and said “its ok. shoes are just objects” and damn. they really are
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if i was on queer eye
bobby: are you using your dirty clothes as a carpet?
tan: did you just say that you bought this when you were in middle school?
jonathan: the majority of your hair is split ends
antoni: ok so typically peanut m&ms are not a breakfast food
karamo: why are you crying i haven’t said anything yet
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