asthrapolaris

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you cannot save me!! i am unsaveable!!! i have never been saved!!!!!!!!

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You know those posts about one of Bruce’s kids getting kidnapped and him having no idea which kid they have based on the vague descriptions he’s given? Well now I can’t only imagine Bruce getting the dreaded call and immediately pulling out a guess who board filled entirely with his kids. Like

kidnapper: we have one of your children

Bruce: I have so many of those you need to be more specific

kidnapper: the loud and annoying one

Bruce, flipping down Cass and Duke: that does not help as much as you think it does

kidnapper: well he has black hair?

Bruce, flips down Steph: keep going

kidnapper: uhhhh? He’s short?

Bruce, flips down Dick and Jason leaving Tim and Damian: more specific

kidnapper: he’s been condescending and judgmental since we got him

Bruce: yeah they both tend to do that

kidnapper: he keeps throwing around words I don’t understand

Bruce, realizing that Damian and Tim are significantly more similar than he thought: uhh more specific?

kidnapper: more?? look just wore us the mon— WHERE’D HE HIDE A KATANA???

Bruce: ah you have Damian

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You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

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concept for a tv show: a cute simple love story between an assistant and a chauffeur or bodyguard or whatever else rich people have and in the background the rich people are having the wildest telenovela level drama that we only catch glimpses of

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do job interviewers know we’re all going to die one day

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it's the far side of the moon, not the dark side, because it's not a dark place — it's just not under the spotlight. the bright side is where the wealth and glamour and global attention is. it's westernized, dominated by American and European influence. that's where the moon landing happened: the bright side.

most Thais live on the metaphorical far side of the moon. the moon landing has nothing to do with them — they care about their own land here on Earth, which is getting taken from them by wealthy investors and foreign-educated government officials. there's extreme wealth disparity between the two sides, and these poorer communities are being systematically destroyed in the name of "progress" (westernization).

but the far side has so much to offer — joy, art, culture, freedom of self expression, freedom from scrutiny, freedom to love. the criminalization of homosexuality was introduced to Thailand as a part of westernization efforts and did not reflect the culture of the people themselves. how much of their culture was lost or forgotten or overshadowed by the blinding light on the bright side?

anyway. i fucking love a good moon metaphor. welcome to the far side of the moon ❤️

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you’re 23 and you learn rosemary kennedy was lobotomized at 23 and you’re like my god she was barely an adult. then you’re 27 and you’re like holy hell amy winehouse was just starting her life. and then, presumably, you reach 36 and you’re like christ alive marilyn monroe was only 36. and so on and so forth

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adhd will get you thinking "i should make this doctors appointment" every day for 7 months and counting

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Current Mood: Damian hugging his family members as a way to help ground them after succumbing to a violent rage

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someone posts a blurry photo of batman with robin captioned 'lets fight crime with mama' and bruce has to pretend it didnt make him cry

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Now that I have 6/6 vision I wanted to see Superman again without two pairs of glasses stacked on my face so I nagged my family to come with me.

There was reluctance because they bought into all the whingeing about how ~polarizing~ and ~political~ and ~clumsy~ and and and and this movie was

Safe to say it won them over and I came out smiling again because this is all I wanted from my Superman movie

Clark Kent is a well-intentioned sweetheart, the Kents are good, normal people who love their son unconditionally, Krypto is a menace, Lex is an unhinged bitch, Eve is an icon, Lois has cavities and balls of steel, Terrific is Surrounded By Idiots™, Guy is an asshole with a fuckass bowl cut, Hawkgirl screeches and Jimmy is a babe magnet

It's bright, it's campy, it's hopeful, it's detached from our reality and runs on comic book logic while still having spirit and emotional depth

and I loved every minute of it

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Gearing up to write something for Battinson!Superbat

Question is, I can’t settle which fancast/version of Clark would best suit this miserable wet cat of a man so help me out:

Option 1:

Welling!Clark

Sweet himbo, a little naive, fresh from the farm to Metropolis, younger than Battinson, would get flustered by this weirdo rich boy and easily get his feelings hurt

Option 2:

Cavill!Clark circa Man of Steel

Broody Supes, a little imposing, a little jaded, around the same age as Battinson (?), less likely to humor / tolerate his emo bullshit, has been at the Daily Planet for a few years, 

Issue with this one is he’s so tied with Batfleck in my head and the fuckery of the Snyderverse

Option 3:

Hoechlin!Clark

Despite being around the same age as Battinson he has some DILF-y vibes. Very chill, has been Superman for like 10 yrs now, and would have the saintly patience to deal with him.

With all that in mind, he might not realistically find this emo mess attractive? Unless Bruce gets his act together a little/there’s a Robin involved?

Option 4:

Fancast/David Corenswet!Clark

The good thing about this fancast is that it comes with no ‘baggage’. Younger than Battinson, new at the Daily Planet, been caped for maybe 3-5 yrs?

Based on vibes alone he’d be somewhere in between Welling and Hoechlin, as in he’d put up with Battinson with mild complaining and ribbing humour but could put him in his place if push comes to shove. 

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- Bruce Wayne, to his kids as he dresses up for his next “Brucie Wayne” appearance where he plans to make several scenes, sing Britney Spears’ Toxic on the karaoke machine, and spill red wine all over Lex Luthor’s new suit

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headcannon that Bruce has blocked seriously every single thirst trap/edits on him from all devices which his children use, meaning they never really knew how much the public simps on him and how much ✨sass✨ he gives off whenever he's out as Brucie cause he also makes sure that he doesn't act like that whenever he's at a gala with his kids. Basically what I want is-

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*bursts into the manor*

Dick : DAD WHAT THE FUCK DID U MEAN WHEN U TOLD LEX THAT HIS HEAD IS SHINNER THAN HIS FUTURE, AND THEN ASKED HIM WHY HE WAS RACIST TO SUPERMAN INFRONT OF A THOUSAND REPORTERS?????

Bruce: chum listen-

*red hood burns down the front door*

Bruce: J-Jason-?!

jason :(fresh out from the dead) YOU HAD A THREESOM WITH THE MAYOR AND HIS WIFE THEN EXPOSED THEM FOR MONEY LAUNDERING AND TOLD THEM THEY WERE TERRBLE IN BED.IN.COURT?????!??

Bruce: uh um well it was for justic-

*bursts in through the window*

(let's pretend tim didn't know even if he was a stalker cause his internet access was limited cause of his parents and he didn't care about what others thought of Bruce and never bothered to look into it at all when he was living with him, thought Bruce just blocking it cause he didn't want the kids seeing him pretend to airhead ) (boy was he wrong)

Tim: YOU HAVE ELEVEN PIERCINGS AND YOU WENT TO NINE INCH NAIL CONCERTS WEARING CHAINS????? THERE ARE MORE THIRST TRAPS OF YOU THAN THERE ARE NUMBERS IN MY BANK ACCOUNT!??

Bruce: um-well-uh-about that-

*appears*

Cass *sparkling eyes* fashion show!! Dress! Pretty! (You look so pretty when u walk in fashion shows in a dress!!!)

Bruce: oh thank you cass-

Jason,dick, tim: WHAT

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Damian: *blissfully unaware back in the league cause Talia didn't tell him either* *she doesn't want to ruin the surprise, she finds it all hilarious*