assorted-beany - Tumblr blog

[assorted-beany]

I am really enjoying reading about the University of Wisconsin chancellor fired after the university discovered all the pornos he and his wife were making.

Generally when someone has a public sex scandal (or “scandal”) you get the standard “I am sorry. I regret it. It was a misjudgment on my part” but this guy is like “fuck you I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t violate conflict of interest clauses, you are violating my first amendment rights”

[assorted-beany]

i’m gonna cry it’s raining right now and i just passed by a family where both parents were without an umbrella but their kid who couldn’t have been older than like 3-4 was proudly holding this GIANT umbrella whose diameter was as tall (if not taller) as the kid. both the parents were getting absolutely drenched but u could tell the kid was just so happy to have an “adult” task and carry the umbrella themselves and i think that sacrifice is what love is all about

[assorted-beany]

when i was a kid i had moments of being so fucking diabolical because i realized at some point the best way to leverage power over my family was to do shit that would make everybody late

[assorted-beany]

[assorted-beany]

>Join a union

>Hear people constantly complaining that the current union leadership is super corrupt, it's all just the same ten guys making all the decisions in secret and nobody else in the union ever gets to know what's going on

>Go to the monthly union meetings that are completely open to all 1200 union members

>The only attendees are the same ten guys every month, giving detailed reports about everything that's going on

[assorted-beany]

I understand why a lot of fantasy settings with Ambiguously Catholic organised religions go the old "the Church officially forbids magic while practising it in secret in order to monopolise its power" route, but it's almost a shame because the reality of the situation was much funnier.

Like, yes, a lot of Catholic clergy during the Middle Ages did practice magic in secret, but they weren't keeping it secret as some sort of sinister top-down conspiracy to deny magic to the Common People: they were mostly keeping it secret from their own superiors. It wasn't one of those "well, it's okay when we do it" deals: the Church very much did not want its local priests doing wizard shit. We have official records of local priests being disciplined for getting caught doing wizard shit. And the preponderance of evidence is that most of them would take their lumps, promise to stop doing wizard shit, then go right back to doing wizard shit.

It turns out that if you give a bunch of dudes education, literacy, and a lot of time on their hands, some non-zero percentage of them are going to decide to be wizards, no matter how hard you try to stop them from being wizards.

[assorted-beany]

She's fucking right. Also y'all should stop interacting or buying or watching any Harry Potter related shit.

Let jkr disappear from the public discourse. Let her go back to the fucking pit she crawled out of

[assorted-beany]

Off the coast of Australia Macroctopus caught the shark, wrapped all its tentacles around it and soon released it. Most likely, he scraped all the parasites off her.

[assorted-beany]

"terminally ill people should be allowed to choose to die if they feel it is the best decision for them" and "euthanasia can easily become eugenics" and "we should provide support for depressed and suicidal people" are statements that can come into conflict but should all be respected

[assorted-beany]

Your music is so cool!!! I didn't know you had a tumblr, definitely following!

The rare role-reversal

[assorted-beany]

stop trying to be palatable, stop trying to be palatable, stop

[assorted-beany]

req'd by @watermonkeystuff

..... asterius?

text: The cow, boy.

[assorted-beany]

[assorted-beany]

Dick Van Dyke had his heart set on playing Mr. Dawes, Sr. in Mary Poppins, and said they didn’t have to pay him anything extra, he just really wanted to do it for the fun. Although Walt Disney had offered him the part of Bert right out, he made him audition for the part of Mr. Dawes, Sr.   

While viewing a make-up test for Van Dyke in the projection room, Disney saw him entertaining crew members on the test film between takes with some comic routines, among them the “stepping down” routine of an old man trying to step off a curb without hurting himself. The test film not only convinced Disney to cast Dick Van Dyke as Mr. Dawes, Sr., but Walt specifically requested that crew members “build a six-inch riser on the board room set so Dick can do that stepping-down routine” in the film.   

[assorted-beany]

watching Seven Samurai