assesofparnassus

[assesofparnassus]

Middle-aged Torso of Apollo

(with apologies to Rilke)

Too ample evidence is here - the hairline Thinned above your haggard eyes. Less thin, The gut your belt is hard-pressed to keep in, Its bending route, a transatlantic airline, Cargo hauling. If you’d not indulged So much when younger, (you abjectly murmur), You might have seen your chest a little firmer Nor would your rear-end have so broadly bulged. And your physique, a prototype dad-bod, Is not one one associates with a god     Unless it’s Bacchus. Straining, you exude No jovial airs. Whenever you exert The smallest effort, you are soon bedewed On every side. You must change your shirt. 

--Dan Janeiro

[assesofparnassus]

Needed: High Ground

As warming and global collusion raise and poison the seas you won’t find a place of seclusion for your virtuosities.

--Terese Coe

[assesofparnassus]

On Kevin Durant’s Inevitable Trade Demand

Busy old fool, unruly Sun, Why dost thou thus?

--Cody Walker

[assesofparnassus]

Ivanka and the Name

How much would she make if her line of cosmetics could manage to edit the family genetics? 

--Terese Coe

[assesofparnassus]

Reflection on Catullus 85, odi et amo

Why is adore A rhyme for abhor?

--David Galef

[assesofparnassus]

Final Score

The playing fields of Eton are much praised  For teaching noble scions how to rule But I would rather have my children raised For greater things that can't be learned at school.

--Joshua Bowman

[assesofparnassus]

Sassy, Classy

Easy to be young and sassy - add experience, and it’s classy.

--Robin Helweg-Larsen

[assesofparnassus]

Risqué Clerihew

Percy Bysshe Shelley had a neo-Classical belly. As for his sinuous torso, it was even more so.

--Royal Rhodes

[assesofparnassus]

To an Aging Playboy

Too cynical to wed, you cheat and screw. You played the field.  And now the field plays you.

--Susan McLean

[assesofparnassus]

Love Poems

For inscribing love poems, I think, You need an abundance of ink. The question to ponder then is, What implement's best? The pen is.

--James Owens

[assesofparnassus]

Sielvartas

(From the Lithuanian - English dictionary)

I wake early and wait for night to come and in that space and time from dawn to dusk my soul is spiralling and tumbling from what it was to what’s now a frozen husk.

--Conor Kelly

[assesofparnassus]

Inscription on a Nameless Grave

I wear my liege lord’s colors: tunic of red, gold-fringed. He gave to me the armor I took to war; my hinged

greaves, my coat of mail, they all bear his device, his lion—its lips that snarl, sharp fangs, and ruby eyes.

You, sirs, who wish to know to whom my blade was sworn— a scarlet cloak enfolds what’s left of me, these bones.

--Jenna Le

[assesofparnassus]

Trump’s Congressional Choirboys

Talking shallow points for their MAGA base, nothing deep there. Castratos can’t sing bass.

--Stephen Sossaman

[assesofparnassus]

Arma Virumque Cano

‘OIL PAINTING . . . 3 Terriers and Ferret . . . exchange 12-bore.’  -- Classified Advertisement                                                      

The mighty dead of brush and smock      He valued not as other men, Some worth a duelling pair by Nock,      And some a pitted Brum .410.

His canvas-lined ancestral pile     Had things enough to keep him gorged Despite the odd collector's guile     As when he found some Purdeys forged.  

And there one day he lifted down      The thickly-varnished "View in Greece" Which proved, on cleaning, up in town,      Da Vinci's smiling sister-piece.

He felt the painter's force and skill,     The lady’s enigmatic charms, But, sticking to his guns, he still     Swapped her for half the Tower's arms.

--Jerome Betts

[assesofparnassus]

Opera Posthuma

Kipling’s daughter burned her father’s Papers, if you please, Thus depriving times to come of Countless PhDs.

Saki’s sister (Miss Munro), a True sororal Tartar, Pulped or drowned the stuff she found that Lacked his imprimatur.

Housman’s brother sealed his scraps with Glue, which then went dry ... Scribbler, mind some woman loves you When you come to die!

--Ruth S. Baker

[assesofparnassus]

It Tolls For Thee

There is no need to set to verse Those famous lines by Donne; A poem only says it worse, Or he'd have written one.

--Joshua Bowman

[assesofparnassus]

Many Marriages

Lots of marriage is good - go ahead! We all should… but bigamy sadly‘s illegal. The solution, of course, is: Encourage divorce! And remarry. Kings do it. Be regal!

--Robin Helweg-Larsen