aspenchantellepoetry-blog

[aspenchantellepoetry-blog]

dad,

you taught me how

a man is supposed to treat me

and when you left

i found you in him

[aspenchantellepoetry-blog]

why can i not post my shitty poems what the heck

[aspenchantellepoetry-blog]

Three Words

I love you burns the tip of my tongue

Like an open flame to metal

That still hasnt quite cooled off yet

I love you hijacks the controls in my brain

And chooses to make it pour

Holding me hostage to flashing images that feel as if they hurt more than death itself.

I love you has many different meanings in my head and there are very few that still make me smile.

I love you reminds me of every goodbye embrace and full hearted hellos.

I love you tells me that you have to go again when all i ever want is to never be apart.

I love you scorches the tip of my tongue

But i still say it

Even if it burns like hell

[aspenchantellepoetry-blog]

(Before he broke my heart)

He always asks me

Why i liked him so much

And what i wish

I had the guts to say

That in a world full of so much anger and hate

You still choose to love

You asked me why i care about you so much

I wanted to say

You show me that someone can love and still be in pain

And you chose me

You asked why i stay on the phone all night

And i couldnt find the words to say

That even through your hard times you never stopped asking if i was okay

Times of silence and you called out my name.

That im so willing to fall

Knowing that one day you might never catch me

[aspenchantellepoetry-blog]

“I’ve missed you lately. I wish I could ask you about the new adventures you’ve been on. How does the world look to you now? What colors have you found in people’s existences that you never knew existed? How many universes have you found just by looking into different sets of eyes? There was a time when you were always just a text away, and now we don’t share even a word between us. These poems are all I have left.”

— Maxwell Diawuoh, Once A Day (07/20/2018)

[aspenchantellepoetry-blog]

Three words

I love you burns the tip of my tongue

Like an open flame to metal

That still hasnt quite cooled off yet

I love you hijacks the controls in my brain

And chooses to make it pour

Holding me hostage to flashing images that feel as if they hurt more than death itself.

I love you has many different meanings in my head and there are very few that still make me smile.

I love you reminds me of every goodbye embrace and full hearted hellos.

I love you tells me that you have to go again when all i ever want is to never be apart.

I love you scorches the tip of my tongue

But i still say it

Even if it burns like hell

[aspenchantellepoetry-blog]

real life shit

when you touched my arm

i flinched

not having been hurt by a man

but knowing you could

everytime im alone with you

i always find the nearest exit

it isnt you that has hurt me

its the world that has taught me

that those you trust will betray you

so imagine what strangers do

[aspenchantellepoetry-blog]

Love

your eyes grew fond of the sight of me, secretly in love with the way my hair fell and the way i laughed

[aspenchantellepoetry-blog]

I’m afraid I’ll run out of words before I die and afraid I’ll die before I run out of words. 

[aspenchantellepoetry-blog]

Sorry for being inactive i broke my phone at the end of august! Im glad to be back though!

[aspenchantellepoetry-blog]

Trust

being told a boy will rape if given the chance and trusting you to lay next to me in complete darkness made me believe that not all men are bad.

[aspenchantellepoetry-blog]

Mirror Image

Im staring straight into the abyss that makes up my eyes

A soft brown with a hint of green.

As I am getting lost in my features,

it becomes harder and harder to recognize myself anymore.

Its getting difficult to know whether i’m finding myself or losing myself at this point.

I’ve replaced my imperfections with bad habits laced with anxiety and frustration.

Among the unknown with no fill to my desire.

Addicted to the safety of one

but im stranded with no contact to the outside world.

Im not looking for a muse

but waiting for my fuse to burnout.

This darkness consuming and controlling my thoughts.

Only time can cure this weakness and loss I feel so I will let it be.

[aspenchantellepoetry-blog]

Goodbye.

This is the last poem i will write for you.

All of these memories,

the laughter and smiles

just to be strangers once again

like we had never met.

I should have left us at hello

to avoid this pain in my chest

and sickness in my stomach.

The unspoken words speak like a megaphone to my ear.

You’re like a curse disguised as a blessing.

A wolf in a sheeps mask.

If you are reading this

this is my final goodbye.

All good things come to an end

and im used to people leaving.

Losing you as a friend will be painful

but i will get over it.

Im probably overreacting again

but

Goodbye.

[aspenchantellepoetry-blog]

I can’t really draw but this is all I could imagine while reading this.

“She was a girl with a heart full of rain and I was ready to drown myself in it.”

— Nils Brandstädter | - why storms are named after people

[aspenchantellepoetry-blog]

burnt out thoughts

Im miserable. Too many sleepless nights gone.

Memories that i wish i could burn.

i made a habit of thinking you cared.

scissors cut my hair to rid myself of you.

so many times i wanted to call.

You made me feel something for once

out of nowhere you made my fears come true

usually im better at this but how can i forget ~you

[aspenchantellepoetry-blog]

The Waking Hours

It is 5 am as i start to hear the chirping of birds

The wait is over.

faint beams of light pass through my foggy window sill to meet my bare face.

the slightest sign of darkness soon disappears and im left in the morning silence.

Quiet and serene.

Water dripping down the brook next to the oak tree.

The wind soaring though the auburn leaves on the ground.

This is worth the sleepless nights and prolonged days.

Just for this very moment that makes me feel alive again.

[aspenchantellepoetry-blog]

Almost* Drowning

I like staring up into the sky.

I love looking at the clouds passing over with the soft glow of the sun

or the midnight tundra of stars that brings the out the ocean in my mind.

I like the feeling of drowning without dying.

This obsession of weightlessness

and being lifeless

puts me into this new world

of relaxation and a lack of emotion.

Holding myself underwater

just to look up above

to see the world changing

in the outside world.

Its addicting.

This power of taking yourself away without actually going away.

Its better than the influence of alcohol

or the bittersweet taste of drugs.

The numbness is what gives me life

and will also be the death of me.

There is no cure to this addiction.

You cant drug me up until i cant breath

to make me try and feel something.

Nothing.

Theres plenty of days i wish that i could feel nothing too.

To think a thought without it wandering

to the point of tears streaming down my face.

Like the clouds

light and empty.

And like the stars,

I bare every story i wish i could tell.

Its almost like the feeling of drowning,

but without dying.

.

.

p.s. yes i have gone through some hard times lately but i will get through them and help others get through theirs. I posted this previously for only a few minutes before i took it down and i can say im in a much better place now. thanks for the support and concerns 💕