asmolgayatcollege

[asmolgayatcollege]

[asmolgayatcollege]

[asmolgayatcollege]

I forgive you. Not for you, but for me.  I forgive you because hate is just another way of holding on, and you don’t belong here anymore.

Beau Taplin (Forgiveness)

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(via 20somethingandstilllost)

[asmolgayatcollege]

(quote by @flatsound)

[asmolgayatcollege]

When you broke it off
You don’t get to know about my life, my right, my highs
Even the lows, you wanted to go

[asmolgayatcollege]

[asmolgayatcollege]

I know a lot has been happening but I’m so glad with everything right now. And I know Thanksgiving can be a mixed bag but I can’t wait to see the family and friends who I’ve missed and have missed me. There is something so lovely about coming home to people who miss you just as much as you miss them and who excitedly make plans with you even though it’s such a short amount of time that you even get to be back home

[asmolgayatcollege]

You are a flower garden

Beautiful from a distance, up close, and within

While I’m a single red rose

There’s some beauty to me

But no one can really get that close

And the ones who do don’t really

Because all my thorns have been removed for them

But you

You held me with my thorns

And without gloves

You let me believe that I wasn’t destined to be a single red rose

[asmolgayatcollege]

I’m starting to wonder if it’s worth it

Keeping so much of myself under lock and key

Possessing countless shields

That protect everyone but me

I’m starting to wonder what the point of it is

I worry I’m losing my morality

There is no anchor to teether me

To keep me from floating away

And honestly it’d be all too easy

To step off the ledge and trust I’d make it out

And not exactly caring if I didn’t

That’s why this is hard

I can’t exactly tell if lying is for everyone else

Or me

Because I’m getting tired

Of pretending to people who don’t care

So why not stop the bullshit and confess

Because if it’s for me, then why continue it

When I know that they don’t really care anyway

Except I think they do care

I think it would hurt them

If I stopped letting them believe and trust my lies

And I’m not sure when I got good at lying

Because I hated doing it

But now I know my bullshit isn’t being questioned

How do I know?

How do I know if I’m being selfish?

If I’m morally bankrupt, is this just another step?

Is something that could possibly help me heal but almost definitely hurt them worth it?

[asmolgayatcollege]

I had to do an art project recently where we had to represent ourselves on the bust of a head, and part of what I did was to write all the words that the closest people have said to me that stick in my head, both good and bad. All the closest people in my life were represented at least once, some of the closer people more than once. It was nice to see that there was only one phrase that was truly hurtful, I don’t know if this means I’m around better people, or that they’ve matured, or that I let hurt go more easily. I do know this though, it means I’m growing in one way or another.

[asmolgayatcollege]

dark as midnight, six-pack coors light you don’t look the same past my bedtime, blue and red lights come take you away

[asmolgayatcollege]

ig - latephonecalls

[asmolgayatcollege]

The edge of seventeen (2016) dir. Kelly Fremon Craig

[asmolgayatcollege]

this is growing up. you get numbed to the things you used to hold dearly. you let go of the people you used to hug tightly. the voids in your heart are created by every new experience and every new person. you only want more. 

[asmolgayatcollege]

i don’t know how to be loved // 9.10.17

[asmolgayatcollege]

I want someone who will love me and touch me and understand me and let me take care of them, but beyond that, I don’t know.

Jonathan Tropper (via brokendreams-and-hearts)

[asmolgayatcollege]

I don’t think people love me. They love versions of me I have spun for them, versions of me they have construed in their minds. The easy versions of me, the easy parts of me to love.

(via 8hy)