askthefaeling

[askthefaeling]

Inktober Day 31 – Landmark

It's a very big kingdom, and Vellner has seen so little of it; but he at least recognizes some of the landmarks.

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Inktober Day 24 – Fairy

It’s been a while since I drew Lyra! Miss this fairy gal

[askthefaeling]

If you enjoyed Ask the Faeling, go check out my newest askblog!

I decided to go ahead and start an askblog for Stolen Hunt! I think it’ll be a lot of fun. ^^ I’ll be posting updates to the story over there starting today, and the askbox is open. Go check it out!

[askthefaeling]

Gt July Day 6 – Royalty

I’m finally caught up after deciding to join the challenge pretty late lol. Today’s prompt only made me think of everybody’s least-favorite prince. Unfortunately he is royalty- no getting around that one.

[askthefaeling]

Big Thanks!

Thank you so much to everybody who stuck with this blog over the years, sent in asks, and gave lovely feedback! I appreciate all of you so much. ^^ This started out as such an odd little experiment and it feels surreal to come to the end of it. I hope you all enjoyed the ride as much as I did.

For anybody who might not know, you can find me other places on the internet: my main tumblr blog and my deviantart are the most active. Thanks again!

[askthefaeling]

Epilogue

Vellner woke up slowly, to the sounds of birds chirping outside his window. He cracked open his eyes, the muted sunlight coming into the room turned gold by the yellow curtains. The room greeted him – his room, small and cozy and gradually filling up with things that were his – and he stretched sleepily, luxuriating in the feel of having his own bed.

Lyra’s guest bedroom had been Vellner’s bedroom for a few months now, and it had taken on a quality that was entirely new to the wingless fairy: it felt like home.

He had barely sat himself up when the door opened. Ebby stood there, and upon seeing him she grinned and all but bounced into the room, flumping herself onto the end of his bed. “Oh good, you’re awake!” she exclaimed, much too exuberantly for the morning hour. “Have you seen my hairbrush?” Her dark green hair, wild and wavy as it was, certainly looked like it needed one.

Vellner gave her a bemused look, still busy rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Why would I have seen your hairbrush?” he asked.

“I can’t find it anywhere else,” the young girl blithely replied. Her logic had its own sort of merit. “Can I use yours, then?”

“Sure,” said Vellner. He watched with a small smile as Ebby popped up and began rummaging through a drawer in his dresser for the comb he kept in there. He couldn’t help but think back to when he had first met her, a traumatized little waif in rags; that girl bore little resemblance to the one in front of him, rosy-cheeked and radiating joy. Ebby had recovered admirably from her trials.

He was so very proud of her.

Ebby returned with the comb held triumphantly in one hand, only to hold it out to him. Vellner looked from the comb to her expectant expression in confusion. “What are you giving it to me for?”

She smiled shyly at him, some of her bashful demeanor surfacing. “Will you braid my hair, please?” she asked politely.

“Me? You do know Lyra is way better at braiding than I am, right?” he informed her, though he took the comb as he said so.

Ebby clambered up onto the bed and settled herself right in front of his blanket-covered legs. “I like it when you do it,” came the simple reply, and Vellner couldn’t help but smile.

He combed through her unruly green hair, the only sounds the morning birds and the faint clatter of Lyra doing something in the living room. Ebby stayed still for him, and Vellner found himself very relaxed even as he separated out sections of her hair and did his best to braid them together evenly.

“I, um, I was thinking…” Ebby began at some point during the second braid. Vellner continued braiding her hair but listened carefully. “The leaves are starting to change colors. Since both of our birthdays are in the fall, I, I was thinking maybe we could celebrate together? Lyra says that here they hold parties for your birthday! We could have a party together.” She waited until Vellner had tied off her braid before turning around to look over her shoulder at him hopefully. “What do you think?”

Vellner still hadn’t quite gotten the hang of parties, or hanging out with people, or being talked to like a person; but he was trying, and he was done running away from kindness just because he was scared. “Absolutely,” he told Ebby with a smile. “I would love to celebrate our birthdays together.”

The beaming smile that broke across Ebby’s face was like a sunrise, bright and beautiful, and any lingering doubts Vellner might have had about his decision were washed away. The young girl turned and threw her arms around him, giving him a brief but fervent hug, before scrambling off the bed and running out the door. Vellner managed to get out of bed and reach the doorway in time to see her ambush Lyra in the living room. “Lyra! Vellner said we could have a birthday party!” Ebby gushed.

“He did?” Lyra enthused in return. She grinned down at the kid before turning that smile on Vellner. The sight of her smile, kind and warm, made Vellner feel more at home than anything else in the house. “Well now. We’ll just have to throw the best party ever, huh?” Ebby bounced with delight and Vellner smiled back, giving a small nod.

Things had changed. He still worried from time to time, of course; the thought of leaving the village and all its complexity behind cropped up every once in a while, as did the fear of some human coming and ruining the tentative home he had built here. These fears were growing less frequent, however, and he knew deep down that the village was safe. He was safe, here, with this family he had made, these sisters who cared for him and for each other despite not being related by blood. With them around, he didn’t have to worry about the rest so much.

Vellner was free, and this time he believed it would last.

[askthefaeling]

Goodbye (3/3)

“You…” Vellner began, before realizing he had no idea how to reply to that. He hadn’t expected Kiran to say, well, any of that, and certainly not with any degree of genuine feeling. Not to mention the human was right- he didn’t really deserve Vellner’s forgiveness, not with what had happened.

And maybe that meant he was right about the rest of it, too. Vellner’s life couldn’t get better, not with Kiran around. Maybe it was time Vellner actually tried to get better.

“Thanks for the apology,” Vellner eventually said, which was as close to acceptance as he was going to get. Kiran just nodded, as if he’d expected that. “So you’re just going to leave me in the forest then, huh?”

“Pretty much.” Kiran attempted a smile but it came across as more of a grimace. “If all goes right, you’ll never have to see another human again.” Kiran turned to Lyra and added, “But if he does, I mean if any of you do, you know where to find me. These woods are mine now, and I’ve made them off limits to anybody else, so they should be as safe for you lot as possible. If not, I can rain hell upon whoever comes to bother you.”

Lyra looked suitably confused and suspicious about that, but Vellner suddenly understood. “Your birthday present,” he realized. Kiran looked at him and nodded, a faint smile on his face. “You asked for these woods. For this?”

“For this,” Kiran agreed. “Not entirely selfless, I must admit, but… hopefully a step in the right direction.” His haughty demeanor fell away somewhat and he added, more hesitantly, “It’s not enough to make up for what I did to you, I know. Probably nothing is. But you once told me I was the latest in a line of the worst humans the world could find.” Vellner raised his eyebrows, recognizing his own jibe when he heard it, but Kiran just looked determined. “Well, I promise I’m going to be the last.”

Vellner hesitated a moment, the familiar preservation instinct surging and clamoring at him to not believe that, lest he get his hopes up too high. But this was new. A human never gave him up once they had him, not until now. Maybe… maybe this time, he could take a chance with hope. Maybe this time it would work. “I… I guess this is goodbye then, huh?” he said.

“Yeah.” Kiran looked uncomfortable, but nodded anyway. “Goodbye, Vellner.”

“Goodbye, Kiran.”

Vellner watched, heart heavy with emotions he couldn’t rightly name, as Kiran turned and walked out of the clearing. His footsteps crunched along the undergrowth until they couldn’t be heard anymore.

That was the last time the faeling saw the prince.

Lyra swooped down, alighting on the branch next to Vellner and taking a seat to be closer to him. She looked at him with a furrowed brow, the concern in her eyes clear as day now that she was so close. “Are you okay?” she asked, as the forest around them rustled with the brush of wings and the mutter of confused fairies.

Vellner looked over and met her gaze. He swallowed, hard, and something within him seemed to settle. “Yeah,” he replied. “I think I will be.”

She smiled at him, worry and hope and kindness mingling in her open face, and offered him her hands. “Good,” she said.

“Let’s go home.”

[askthefaeling]

Goodbye (2/3)

A few minutes passed before Kiran got what he wanted. There was a slight rustling amongst the surrounding trees, a sound incongruous to the light breeze. Vellner looked around and was shocked to find fairies peering out at them from the foliage of multiple trees, some holding weapons. It seemed like half the village had mobilized to come meet them.

There was a flash of pink and Lyra burst out from a nearby oak, hovering far out of reach of Kiran but staring directly at them. “What are you doing here, Kiran?” she demanded. Her face turned to Vellner, but she was too far away for him to see the look in her gaze. He averted his eyes anyways, finding himself unable to face her after what he had said the last time they saw each other. “You should know by now that you’re not welcome here.”

“I know,” Kiran replied, rather flippantly, before seeming to notice the rest of the fairies himself. “I’ll take the small army you gathered to meet me as flattery, I suppose.” He sighed, casting his gaze downward, and after a beat said, much more hesitantly, “Not… not that you’ll need it. I promise I’m not here to make trouble.”

Lyra scoffed. “As if we’d believe that!”

A small, wry smile quirked at the side of Kiran’s mouth. “I suppose you have no reason to,” he agreed. “But it’s the truth.” He moved forward and there was a sharp rustling as every fairy nearby darted away, a wave of shining wings repelled by the mere presence of the human. Kiran approached the nearest tree, making Lyra fly backwards abruptly to remain out of reach, but didn’t move to grab anybody. Instead he grabbed Vellner off of his shoulder, before putting the wingless fairy on one of the larger branches.

Vellner scrambled to get a grip on the bark beneath him as Kiran’s hand moved away, his eyes wide and his face pale. He felt incredibly unsteady this high up with not much to hold onto. “What’s the big idea?” he blurted.

Kiran ignored him, turning to face Lyra instead. “I came to give him back to you, since he seems determined not to leave on his own,” the prince informed her, causing every fairy in the clearing to stare at him in open shock. “Maybe you can keep him from getting into more trouble. Quarantine him in your secret fairy village or whatever.”

“I…” Lyra began, visibly shaken.

Vellner beat her to the punch. “Kiran, what the fuck are you on about?” he yelled, though his shaky voice betrayed his uncertainty. “I… you know how I…” He grit his teeth, swallowing the surge of emotions that almost came up with the admittance. “This has got to be some sick joke of yours, right? You’ve never given up anything in your life.”

Kiran looked back over at him, hazel eyes meeting silver. From where Vellner was perched on the branch, they were practically at eye level with each other. Taking a deep breath, Kiran said, “I can see why you’d think that. I know… I know now that what I did to you was awful. I’m not asking for your forgiveness. Frankly, I probably don’t deserve it.” Vellner just stared at the human, stunned, as the words continued to tumble out of Kiran’s mouth like a confession. “I’m just trying to be better. And, I finally realized that, so long as you’re with me, you are never going to get better. How could you?” Kiran sighed and ran a hand through his blond hair, staring up at the clear blue sky. “But you won’t leave on your own, so this is the last thing I’m going to make you do.” Kiran’s eyes sought out Vellner’s again, a resigned sort of finality in them. “For what little it’s worth… I’m sorry, Vellner. For everything.”

[askthefaeling]

Goodbye (1/3)

It was a nice day outside. The air was warm but not hot, the sunlight softening the chill of a light breeze. Vellner would have been soaking in the sensations, if he weren’t so focused on keeping his balance where he sat on Kiran’s shoulder, and his own confusion.

The fact that Kiran had left his room with Vellner on his shoulder wasn’t necessarily surprising. And Vellner supposed that even princes wanted to walk beyond the castle walls every once in a while. Even the fact that Kiran had firmly refused a guard, informing the castle patrolmen that he was only going for a walk, wasn’t beyond the prince’s normal stubbornness.

It was the fact that Kiran wouldn’t even tell Vellner where they were going that the fairy found irksome.

Still, Vellner had let it be, until he realized that the field they were crossing – and the forest they were steadily heading towards – was familiar. He’d seen this field from the air once, after a… rescue. Somewhere deep in those familiar trees lay the fairy village.

“Hey, hold up!” Vellner blurted. He looked up at Kiran’s face, though of course couldn’t catch the human’s eye from this angle. “I know where you’re headed. What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m taking a walk,” Kiran casually replied, seemingly unbothered.

“Bullshit.” Vellner squinted at him, finding himself suddenly much more invested in this outing. “I don’t know what your plan is here, but you should just turn around and go home. Haven’t you bothered the other fairies enough already?”

There was a moment of silence, the only sound the brushing of the long grass up against Kiran’s boots. Eventually the reply came, an admittance spoken much more quietly than Vellner expected. “I likely have. This still has to be done.”

Vellner didn’t like the sound of that. “What has to be done?” he asked warily.

Kiran just shrugged slightly, bobbing Vellner up and down on his shoulder and making the fairy scramble for a tighter grip on his collar. “You’ll see.” After that he refused to talk about it any more. By the time they reached the tree line, Vellner’s attempts at asking questions had fallen off into a surly silence.

They eventually reached a clearing: the one where Kiran and Vellner had met after Kiran ran away, the one that Lyra had chased Kiran away from, the one where Kiran had changed his mind about setting Ebby free. The one where Vellner had lost his freedom again. The fairy shivered slightly, all these memories colliding, only to jump out of his skin as Kiran shouted, “Lyra!” at the top of his lungs.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Vellner demanded, his heart still pounding in his chest from the scare. Kiran ignored him, just calling Lyra’s name again, loud enough that he could probably be heard all the way in the fairy village.

Then again, that was probably the point.

Kiran yelled again, and when Vellner’s ears stopped ringing he demanded, his voice tight, “Seriously, what are you up to? If… if you try to hurt Lyra, I swear…” He didn’t exactly have an end to that sentence, knowing all too well how little he could influence Kiran’s decisions, but he couldn’t just let it slide without saying something.

“I’m not going to hurt her,” Kiran countered. Vellner couldn’t quite see the prince’s face, but he frowned at what sounded like offense in the prince’s voice. “I just… I promise it’s nothing bad, I just need to talk to her.”

[askthefaeling]

18 (2/2)

The party was, in many ways, exactly as Kiran had imagined it would be. It was the largest celebration that had ever been held for him, personally. The biggest ballroom in the castle had been decorated to the nines in royal blue and gold, and the revelry went on with seemingly no intent of stopping. Kiran shook hands and received congratulations, danced with beautiful young women to lively music, and ate delicacies from a never ending buffet table. He drank alcohol for what was supposed to be his first time (it never was, especially not with older brothers like his) and played up his coughing so that the older men could slap him on the back and tell him it was always like that for the first drink. A veritable mountain of presents in the corner steadily grew- he would open them after the celebrations.

It was everything he had daydreamed about for years and more- and yet, Kiran found himself using a polite, society-ready smile more than any real one throughout the night. There was something more important about his birthday than a party, no matter how extravagant, and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to relax until it was done.

Eventually the prince found himself standing off to the side, a nearly empty glass of wine in one hand. He twirled it idly, hazel eyes scanning the crowded room, before drinking the last bit and setting the empty glass on a nearby table. Here went nothing.

The king was standing amidst a group of older men, smiling along at something one of them was saying, when Kiran came up to him. The men all turned, the one talking cutting himself off to greet the prince. “Ah, the man of the hour! Happiest of birthdays to you, Prince Kiran.”

The sentiment was echoed amongst the small group, and Kiran nodded politely in acceptance. “Thank you very much,” he replied. “My apologies for interrupting, but may I have a word with my father for a moment?”

“Of course,” the man said, echoed by a few others. With polite farewells they all took their leave, until only the king and his youngest son remained behind.

The king gave Kiran a thoughtful look. “Your manners have improved,” he noted. For once it didn’t sound like a disparagement.

Kiran smiled tightly. “Well, I am an adult now, Father. That happens when one grows up.”

His father smiled back, the expression more amused than anything else, but replied, “So it does. Is this newfound maturity why you decided to leave the faeling in your room?”

Not entirely true, but as good an excuse as any. Kiran nodded. “Certainly. I’ve grown too old to be bringing pets to parties. My attention should be on more important things.”

A knowing look entered the king’s eye. “Ah, yes. More important things. Such as your birthday present, by tradition?” Kiran nodded. “I’m glad to see you’re taking your responsibilities seriously, Kiran. Let’s step aside and discuss this.” The king led the way to a side door, a small audience chamber off of the main ballroom, and Kiran followed.

He had finally learned to be the son his father wanted; or, at least, how to present himself as such. Now, to use it to his advantage.

__________

It was late when Kiran returned to his room. His hair was slightly mussed, his formal attire a bit creased- the carousing had gone on long into the night. Vellner was asleep in bed, though he jolted awake as the door opened and lamplight spilled in. The faeling sat up, rubbing his eyes as Kiran entered, followed by a handful of attendants. They undressed him and dressed him for bed, leaving without a word. Kiran, however, didn’t immediately flop into bed, tempting as it was; instead, the prince sat at his desk, the lamplight illuminating his face.

“How was the party?” Vellner asked, his voice still a bit too sleepy to hold any kind of snarky undertone.

“It was fine,” Kiran replied. The prince was smiling slightly, his eyes tired but keen as he rummaged through some of the parchments on his desk. “You wouldn’t have liked it, but I had a good time.”

Vellner simply hummed something noncommittal at that. The faeling quickly decided more conversation was not necessary, and shrugged himself back down into the blankets. He rolled over once and fell asleep again almost immediately.

Kiran let him. The prince only glanced at the faeling once before pulling out the map he had been studying for the last few weeks. Smiling slightly, he took a pencil and marked his name.

He had his first domain.

[askthefaeling]

18 (1/2)

Vellner sat on the edge of his bed, one foot tucked underneath him and the other lightly scuffing the floor, as he watched Kiran fix his hair in the mirror. The prince certainly looked like one at the moment- an entire swarm of attendants had recently made sure of it. Kiran was decked out in full regalia, a tailored suit of dark cream with light blue edging and gold brocade anywhere they could find a place to put it. Parts of his ensemble gleamed. His cufflinks alone were probably worth more than the nearest small town.

His blond hair was slicked back even more than usual- something else the attendants had done for him. That didn’t stop him from fussing with it in the mirror, of course.

“You mess with it too much, and you’re going to ruin it,” Vellner warned from his seat in the cage.

“Oh, hush you,” Kiran offhandedly replied. His eyes were still glued to the mirror, slightly squinted as he focused on smoothing out a small cowlick. “I’m just making sure I look fine before I go down there.”

“What for?” Vellner asked. The slightest grin was on his face; it’s not like he cared. He was only asking to rile Kiran. “It’s not like they’re going to kick you out of your own birthday party if you have a strand of hair out of place.”

Kiran just rolled his eyes. “Yes, it’s my birthday party, which means everybody’s going to be looking at me. Can you imagine the embarrassment if I showed up looking disheveled?”

“No,” was the honest reply from the fairy. “No, I really can’t.”

The prince scoffed. “Just be glad you don’t have to look this good.”

Vellner didn’t admit it, but he was glad- not because he particularly cared about his appearance, though getting forcibly dressed up was never fun, but because of the reason he didn’t have to look good. He wasn’t even going to this party: Kiran had told him so a few days ago. Presumably, it was because the last time Vellner attended a party with Kiran, a disastrous escape attempt ensued; regardless, however, Vellner was glad to not be going. He didn’t enjoy human parties, period.

Kiran straightened, tweaking his lapel before apparently deciding he was presentable enough. “Alright, I’m off for the evening,” he announced. He glanced down at Vellner expectantly. “Anything to say to me? Perhaps something you haven’t said yet today?”

Vellner squinted his eyes and tilted his head to the side, making a big show of thinking about it. “Mmmmm. Nope. Don’t think so.”

The prince’s look flattened. “Seriously? Don’t be stubborn. I’m not going to go until you say it.”

“Who’s being stubborn now?” Vellner shot back. “Fine. Happy birthday, Kiran.” The prince grinned. “Now go to your dumb party and let me enjoy my quiet evening in peace.”

“As you wish,” Kiran replied, all too cheerful now. He exited the room in high spirits, leaving Vellner to roll his eyes.

[askthefaeling]

Looking Forward (3/3)

A small frown crossed Vellner’s face. Not that he had any inclination to feel sorry for Kiran, especially not when Vellner had no blood relations of his own to speak of, but a sibling relationship like that just seemed… lonely. Kiran’s brothers were assholes, but at least they held some interest in what was going on in the youngest prince’s life. “Yeah, guess it’s no wonder I’ve never seen her, then,” Vellner eventually said, not sure he wanted to comment on the rest of it. Not given everything else.

“As I said,” was Kiran’s clipped reply. He settled back in his chair, watching as Vellner leaned over the edge of his hand to swap out the bread for a small blueberry. “She’s going to get married soon anyways, and then she’ll live halfway across the country, at her husband’s estate.” Try as he might, Kiran couldn’t drum up any sort of strong emotions in regards to that. It’s not like it would be that much different than the moment; he hardly ever saw her despite living in the same castle. All he could say was, “I’ve never been to that region, but I’ve heard it’s… nice.”

Vellner considered that for a while. It struck him how little of this country he had actually seen, after living in another one for so long. He tried to think back to his childhood, but… even then, when they had traveled all over Beldrere, he’d always had more to worry about than the passing scenery. He wasn’t sure he’d ever really thought about the place he was in. It was just where he was, and that was that. “I don’t think I’ve even seen a map of this country,” Vellner quipped. “I couldn’t say if anywhere here is nice or not.”

“I have a map here somewhere,” Kiran announced. Leaning forward, his hand curling around Vellner a bit more without him even noticing, the prince rummaged through the many books, parchments, and scribbled notes that made up his schoolwork. “Ah, here it is.” Straightening once more, Kiran set Vellner down on the desk and unfolded a map inked on thick parchment, smoothing the creases with both hands.

This earned him a somewhat dubious look from Vellner. “You just have a map lying around?” he asked. “I didn’t think you had any geography lessons.” Kiran’s work, as far as Vellner had been able to tell, was mostly focused on history and politics.

“I don’t,” Kiran responded. He glanced down at Vellner, somewhat intrigued to see the fairy setting aside his food in favor of walking onto the map itself. Tiny footprints further flattened the corner as Vellner traced his eyes over the details before him. “I have this at the moment because I’ll soon have to choose my first domain as a ruling lord.”

Though Vellner’s brow furrowed slightly at that, it did shed some light on the smattering of pencil marks made across the large map, marking out boundaries with names or notations. “What do you mean, your domain? Are you going to be moving halfway across the country too?” If so, Vellner would have liked a heads up, since he would have to go too.

“No, not right now,” Kiran easily replied, dismissing some of those concerns with a flap of his hand. “As a prince, I will eventually have many different domains under my rule, or at least technically speaking they’ll belong to me. Some will likely still be controlled by lesser lords and dukes. I will move out of the castle eventually, probably when I marry somebody, but my domains aren’t necessarily related to that. Especially the first one, since it’s mostly tradition.” Kiran glanced down, sure Vellner was going to protest how little he cared, only to find the fairy looking up at him. Somewhat self-consciously, Kiran continued, “The, um, I get my first domain on my eighteenth birthday, sort of a coming of age thing. Most of my domains will be a result of political decisions, but the first one I get to choose for myself.” He glanced at the map, with all its names and notes, and added, “Of course, as long as it doesn’t step on too many toes. My father still has to approve it.”

Nodding, Vellner glanced down at the map once more. The various unfamiliar names and landmarks still seemed overwhelming, but then again, nobody was going to test him on his geography knowledge. It struck him, for maybe the first time, how much humans owned the entire world. Even the land itself had some human’s name attached to it. Vellner supposed he shouldn’t be surprised that he was considered Kiran’s when it looked like a good chunk of the country might soon be called the same.

The prince had everything handed to him on a silver platter. So Vellner did wonder why, when he looked up at Kiran, the prince looked like nothing more than a poor man counting his coins and coming up short.

[askthefaeling]

Looking Forward (2/3)

Kiran sighed in relief, though he soon felt self-conscious about the fact. Rushing to cover it up before Vellner noticed and commented on it, Kiran said, “You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were just depressed about breaking up with your girlfriend.” Kiran immediately winced. That was a bit callous, now that he heard it aloud, and he wished he’d come up with something more tactful. Too late.

Even so, instead of the glare and sniping Kiran expected, Vellner just looked completely lost. “...What?” the fairy eventually asked. His brow was furrowed over his silver eyes as he looked up at Kiran.

“Your girlfriend?” Kiran repeated, raising his eyebrows slightly. “The pink one?” Her name was recalled after a brief moment. “Lyra?”

Vellner looked baffled for another moment before, to Kiran’s shock, he snickered. The smile was brief, but Kiran’s eyes were wide all the same as Vellner shook his head. “She’s not my girlfriend.” The way he said it, the thought had never once crossed his mind. “She’s…” Vellner’s gaze drifted to the window and any trace of amusement faded from his face, replaced by the hollowness that had characterized it of late. “...Well, she was the first family I ever had.” A long, horrible moment passed where Kiran had no idea what to say, before Vellner tore his eyes away and visibly decided not to leave that statement hanging. “I mean, you’ve got a sister, right?” the fairy all but demanded of Kiran, some of his old attitude resurfacing as he took another bite of bread. “You know the feeling, how you love her, but not like that.”

“I do have a sister, yes,” Kiran replied. It was an easy answer, despite many of the thoughts Kiran was still struggling with. He couldn’t help but think about his older sister, Loriel – beautiful, distant Loriel, who never really looked at him – and compare her with Lyra. He couldn’t really imagine Loriel reaching for him with the desperation Lyra had reached for Vellner, or chasing somebody out of the castle for bothering him the way Lyra had chased him out of the forest for bothering Vellner. There were servants for that- if she even noticed.

Kiran’s family was different; he’d always known this. They were royals, after all. Maybe that sort of fierce familial love was just another thing they had no need for. Something that only got in the way of the lives they had to lead.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Kiran looked down at his hand, only to find Vellner looking back up at him with an unreadable expression. Some heat rose to Kiran’s cheeks. “What?” he demanded.

Vellner almost told the truth – that he’d never seen the prince look so thoughtful before, almost… melancholy – but decided against it. He shouldn’t really care. Instead, he just asked, “Where is your sister? I’ve never even seen her, just heard her mentioned once or twice before.” Mostly in regards to some kind of upcoming wedding.

Kiran just shrugged. “She has her own rooms in the castle,” he replied. “She doesn’t attend war meetings or anything like my brothers do, or have the same sorts of athletic lessons out in the yard, so it’s not like we have similar schedules. She was probably at the solstice celebration, but you wouldn’t have seen her because,” all sorts of reasons, “well, your actions aside, she has her own social circles to circulate in.”

[askthefaeling]

Looking Forward (1/3)

Things had been… quiet, after Ebby left.

Vellner’s cage hadn’t been locked in days. There was no point- they both knew he wasn’t going anywhere. Vellner himself felt empty, mostly; he just sort of wandered around thinking nothing in particular. Kiran let him be, for the most part. The prince had work to do anyway.

Kiran’s eighteenth birthday was coming up, and with it, the end of his schooling. The date alone wouldn’t suffice to finish things, however; he had to prove that he was ending his education with all the knowledge and skills expected of him. His work had nearly doubled, as had his time in lessons. So instead of making plans for his coming of age celebration, he was writing essays or buried deep in some book.

That was fine, actually. He wasn’t exactly in a party planning mood, given everything.

He reached for a nearby china cup and took a sip of tea, before glancing over at Vellner’s cage. The fairy was lying face-first on his bed, one arm hanging over the edge and brushing against the floor, his face turned to stare aimlessly at the side of Kiran’s desk. There was a saucer of food on his table – leftovers from Kiran’s own breakfast – but the food had long since cooled.

“You haven’t eaten anything today,” Kiran said. His voice broke the silence awkwardly and he winced internally, but Vellner didn’t so much as move, much less respond. Kiran waited for a bit before adding, “You didn’t eat anything yesterday either.”

Vellner’s one visible eye slowly moved to appraise Kiran, though he didn’t move from his slump. “Why do you care?” he asked, his voice hollow and a bit hoarse. It was the first time he’d spoken all day.

Kiran stiffened slightly. He wasn’t entirely sure about the answer himself. “I…” he began. He bit back the easy answer, “because you’re mine”, because something about that seemed worse than it had before. Eventually he settled on, “If you keep that up, you’re going to starve yourself to death.”

Vellner just shrugged his thin shoulders, turning his gaze back to the wall again. He didn’t say anything for a long while, and Kiran was wrestling with the desire to make him eat something, when Vellner asked, “Do you feel sorry for me?” His tone was a little too intense for it to come off as a passive question.

Once again, Kiran found himself struggling to know his answer, much less say it. “Shouldn’t I?” he eventually asked, more tentative than he wanted to sound. “Vellner, ever since…” that, “...you just, you’re acting like you want to hurt yourself.”

The response was harsh. “You don’t get to feel sorry for me.” The small hand hanging over the side of the bed clenched into a fist as Vellner turned his face, burying it into his pillow. The next statement came out muffled. “Just leave me alone.”

Kiran huffed, frustration bubbling up and overriding some of his uncertainty. “That’s what I’ve been doing, and it hasn’t made things any better,” he argued. “I’ve left you alone for days and all you do is shuffle around like a ghost. You don’t say anything, you don’t eat anything… I don’t think a bit of concern is misplaced!”

A little scoff came from the tiny pillow. “Wow, now you’re concerned, good for you!” The remark was as biting as a rabid dog. “Too little too late, Kiran.”

Kiran’s lips thinned. The worst part was, he couldn’t really argue that point, and they both knew it.

“Maybe so,” said Kiran. The admission hurt a bit, but he tried to ignore the increasingly common pang of guilt that came with it. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not right.” He reached through the open door of the cage and gathered Vellner up in his hand. The fairy offered no resistance, a sullen rag doll as the prince pulled him closer. Kiran cupped his hand and sat Vellner up with his other one, since Vellner didn’t seem inclined to sit up on his own. His stare remained blank, aimed at nothing in particular, and Kiran frowned. Vellner had always been twiggy, but now he seemed almost gaunt, a shell of himself inside and out.

“You need to eat,” Kiran firmly reiterated. He reached back into the cage with his free hand and grabbed the full saucer of food, pulling it out onto the desk so that it was closer. Grabbing a piece of bread he held it out to Vellner. Vellner made no move to take it. “Eat it, or I’ll feed it to you,” warned Kiran.

That earned him a sullen glare; Kiran was almost glad to see it, if only because it meant that Vellner’s usual personality hadn’t been lost completely. Vellner pointedly grabbed the bread from Kiran’s fingers and put it to his mouth. Kiran watched with some relief as Vellner took one bite, then another. The fairy’s body was betraying him- though Vellner was still determined to be stubborn about this, his little body was trembling in Kiran’s hand, each mouthful slightly more desperate than the last.

Vellner was no stranger to starvation, but even he had limits; the fact that he’d done it to himself this time didn’t change his need for sustenance.

[askthefaeling]

Giving Up (2/2)

Everybody froze. Ebby froze, one hand clutching at Lyra’s shirt, where the fairy knelt frozen with a hand outstretched towards Vellner. Kiran froze in the doorway, hazel eyes taking in the unexpected scene with open surprise. Vellner was the only one to move.

He turned back towards Lyra. “Lyra, I need you to get her out of here,” he said, his voice low and eerily calm as he jerked his chin towards Ebby. “And then I need you to listen to me for once and never come back.” She couldn’t keep risking her own freedom for his. He wasn’t worth it.

Tears pooled in the corners of Lyra’s confused maroon eyes. “W-what?” she whispered, glancing between him and the human still standing in the doorway. “Vellner, you can’t mean that-”

“I said go!” Vellner yelled, his composure shattering. His hands were shaking, his eyes wide and wet and frantic as he thrust a hand palm-out towards the window, as if to cast her away. “I can’t, Lyra. I can’t do it anymore.” His voice was trembling along with the rest of him now. “I can’t go out in the world and pretend that I’m free. I’m not. I always end up right! back! here!” He jabbed his finger towards his cage for emphasis, his teeth gritted as the admission spilled forth. It burned on the way out. “So what is the fucking point of me leaving? I’m done,” he rubbed at his face, still babbling frantically, “I’m so godsdamn tired of trying and hoping and pretending for something better. It never lasts, and it just makes it so much worse. I’m done! I’m not going.”

Vellner’s hands were shaking so badly that he had to cross his arms and clutch at his shirt. He looked at Lyra with burning eyes, willing her to leave.

Tears spilled over onto Lyra’s cheeks. “Vellner…” she tried again, a final plea.

Her voice broke the spell. Kiran stepped fully into the room and Lyra straightened, taking Ebby’s hand. With one last sorrowful look at Vellner the fairies alighted and zipped out the window before the human could so much as take another step.

Kiran shut the door behind him and slowly approached the desk. Vellner didn’t move, still holding himself together and staring out the window with wet, red eyes. Kiran took a seat hesitantly, as if waiting for Vellner to explode. The wingless fae didn’t even twitch; he just stood there, shuddering.

“Vellner?” Kiran eventually asked. “Did you…” He didn’t know how to start. Guilt and hope were churning like oil and water in the pit of his stomach. “Was it because of me?”

Laughter, staccato and abrupt and more than a little hysterical, bubbled up out of Vellner. He looked up and over at Kiran with a fierce, lost look in his eyes. “Of course you weren’t really listening!” Vellner burst, too loud to even sound angry. “Of course! You don’t get it! This isn’t about you!”

With that Vellner broke. His legs gave out from under him and he collapsed onto the wood of the desk, curling up into himself and sobbing into his hands, as if his tears were water bursting from a splintered dam.

Kiran hesitated a moment before gently scooping up Vellner into a hand and holding him close. Vellner stayed curled up, a quaking little ball, and sobbed out wretchedly, “I hate you!” The loathing flowed outward, and inward too, black and stifling. “I hate you!”

Kiran’s gaze settled on the open window, their entire shared past playing out behind his eyes. “…I know.”

[askthefaeling]

Giving Up (1/2)

Kiran had just left the room, mumbling some incoherent excuse under his breath- Vellner hadn’t really listened, because it didn’t really matter. The prince shut the door on his way out, but didn’t bother to lock it.

Why should he? Vellner certainly wasn’t going to be able to get through it, unlocked or otherwise, and Ebby’s wings hardly made her any more able. The three of them knew full well how things worked around here by this point- Kiran hadn’t even locked them in their cage, knowing full well that Ebby wouldn’t make trouble and Vellner couldn’t make much. He probably wouldn’t even if he could. The thought was almost sour in Vellner’s mind, but it carried with it a smidge of shameful relief. At least he didn’t have to worry himself sick over potential chances anymore. He was too… tired. These days he mostly just wanted to lie down.

Right now, however, he was leaning up against the back of the desk, playing some sort of hand game with Ebby that she had taught him. Apparently it was common among the kids in her old village. She got a bit melancholy every time she talked about it, so Vellner never pressed her, but part of him loved hearing about Ebby’s childhood even knowing the tragic ending. Vellner hadn’t grown up with anybody; it was strange to hear about what counted as a normal childhood for one of his kind.

Vellner was half focused on the pattern of the game and half lost in thought when a noise pricked at the edge of his hearing. He paused, making Ebby freeze in turn with her hands in the air, and frowned in the direction of the odd sound.

There was a strange sort of clicking noise from the window, and then the glass pane swung open a bare inch- enough to admit a strikingly familiar pink blur. “Lyra?” Vellner blurted. He hadn’t expected to see her return to the castle, since she had no reason to think that he was back here; that, and the window had been closed and latched, like it had been ever since Kiran came back with the two of them. “What- how-?”

“An unlocking spell it took me weeks to perfect,” she explained hastily, flitting over to where the windowsill hung above the edge of the writing desk. “I found your house empty and figured the worst had happened.” Her maroon eyes found Vellner before settling on Ebby with dismay. “Oh gods, who…?” She shook her head sharply. “Never mind, we can all explain ourselves later. We need to get out of here right now.”

Ebby looked to Vellner, whose mind and heart were racing in tandem. “Go on, Lyra’s a friend,” he told the girl, shooing her in front of him. She spared a fearful glance at the door to the room before flying up and landing next to the older fairy.

Lyra herself leaned over the edge of the windowsill, reaching an arm down so that Vellner could pull himself up from the desk. “Brisel’s waiting with some help, come on!”

Vellner stepped towards her, and stopped.

He could go with her. He could flee the castle, get rescued by fairies again. He could make another attempt to live out in the woods, slowly building up his independence. He could struggle to be a person, to live a normal life, to put the past behind him.

He could do all that, and he would still get caught by a human again. Still wind up right here, with this human or another one, still have to feel the pain and desperation of the never-ending cycle.

He had been hurt by his own hope too many times.

His silver eyes looked up to meet Lyra’s. “I’m not going.”

“What?!” Lyra blurted in return.

The door opened.

[askthefaeling]

Unwitting Teacher

Ebby sat atop one of the posts of Kiran’s four-post bed, her little legs dangling off the ground and her gossamer wings draped gently behind her. She had a relatively large chunk of her wild pine green hair pulled across her shoulder, and her chin was tucked so that she could see it. Her little brown hands fumbled to divide it into three relatively even parts and twine them together the way Vellner had shown her.

She ended up with just a twist, and had to unravel it with a frown. Huffing, she started over, trying to remember the pattern. It had seemed so easy when he showed her- why couldn’t she remember it now?

After a few failed attempts she finally managed something she thought might be right, only to let one of the sections of hair slip through her fingers and merge with another one, ruining the whole thing.

She dropped her hands with a hiss of dismay, and in the squeaky voice of a child, declared, “Shit.”

This immediately garnered the attention of the other two in the room. Kiran turned where he sat at his desk to look up at her in shock, before turning his incredulous gaze down to where Vellner stood at the back of the desk. “Did you teach her that?” Kiran demanded.

“No!” Vellner blurted in response, unsure whether to laugh at Ebby’s blunt little swear or pretend to be offended by Kiran’s accusation. He wound up with his lips pursed from trying not to smile. “I mean, I taught her how to braid her hair, but not what to say about it.”

Kiran gave him a flat look for his troubles. “Well she had to have picked it up from someone, and it certainly wasn’t me.” An unusually sound argument.

“She could have learned it before either of us met her,” Vellner pointed out. This was mostly for the sake of riling up Kiran; Vellner was pretty sure he was to blame for any accidental swearing Ebby might have picked up. He just didn’t intend to do anything about it. “You can’t blame me for everything.”

“I can when it’s quite obviously your fault,” Kiran retorted. He reached out and poked Vellner square in the chest, making the wingless fairy sway a little and put one foot back to steady himself. “I told you to watch your language around her! She’s a child, we can’t have her going around with your unfortunate vocabulary.”

“What does it matter?” Vellner was arguing for the sake of arguing at this point, and was hard pressed not to snicker at the growing look of frustration on Kiran’s face. Even so, his mirth faded a fair amount, his terse expression quickly growing more genuine, as he pointed out, “It’s not like she ever even leaves this room. You and I are the only ones who will ever hear it. I think she ought to be able to say whatever she wants.” Child or not, Ebby had been through enough in her young life to merit a swear or two; even if it was just over the frustration of braiding her hair.

Though Kiran sighed in what seemed to be recognition of the truth, he said, “Well I won’t allow for such foul language.” Turning, he looked up to face Ebby, who was still perched on the bed post with a lock of hair held in her hand; she had been watching all this play out with wide eyes, and hadn’t dared move. “Ebby,” Kiran began, in a tone Vellner was sure the prince thought was gentle and suitable for talking to a child. Really he just sounded awkwardly full of himself. “I don’t want you using any bad words, okay? Those are for grown-ups only.”

Vellner rolled his eyes, not bothering to point out that Kiran, not being eighteen yet, didn’t count as an adult either.

Ebby, ocean-blue eyes still wide, nodded fervently. “O-okay,” she stammered out, barely a squeak. “Um, I promise, I won’t.” She bit her lip, worrying it for a brief moment as the other two looked at her, before tentatively adding, “But, um, I’m not sure if some words are bad or not… is, um, is ‘fuck’ a bad word?”

Kiran gaped at her, at a loss for words; Vellner laughed so hard he had to sit down.