askjacknimball

[askjacknimball]

Ooh, he’s due for a firmware update by now, software, too, and maybe even hardware… If you’d just give me five minutes and let me open up his skull and play with his little doggy brain—

Um, what was that about clinics!?

Wait, your age!? Are you saying you're 19? I thought you were a grown ass man, not a kid!

Not a GROWN-ASS MAN, really! Nineteen is plenty old! I’m grown enough to have voted for Gore!

Even if, um, I cried when he lost. But nineteen is plenty old!

You can legally enter contracts. And supervillain compacts. And nondisclosure agreements. And be employed by certain nameless entities.

[askjacknimball]

Wait, your age!? Are you saying you're 19? I thought you were a grown ass man, not a kid!

Not a GROWN-ASS MAN, really! Nineteen is plenty old! I’m grown enough to have voted for Gore!

Even if, um, I cried when he lost. But nineteen is plenty old!

You can legally enter contracts. And supervillain compacts. And nondisclosure agreements. And be employed by certain nameless entities.

[askjacknimball]

Ah-huh!

If you find something you want:

Steal it!

Way easier than messing around negotiating if some jerk is being stubborn and won't sell.

If you blow up enough property or hurt someone while you're stealing, you might even get Superman to show up!

That's an upside for me, but maybe not for you. Just be sure you either don't get caught, can run fast, or have some sort of exit strategy.

[askjacknimball]

G-Ghoul?

Ghoul?

Uh-oh…

DRI-INK THE SLUDGE. DRI-INK THE SLUDGE. DRI-INK THE SLUDGE.

[askjacknimball]

DRI-INK THE SLUDGE. DRI-INK THE SLUDGE. DRI-INK THE SLUDGE.

[askjacknimball]

Is it true you can turn your arm into a buzzsaw

Man, I wish.

Can you imagine how schway that’d be?

Maybe if I get back before I’m a million years old I can get that kinda enhancement while I still have the bones to-…we’ll, come to think of it, that might be the coolest way to get around arthritis: outright limb enhancement.

Catch me cyborging it up grandpa-style.

[askjacknimball]

Don't ask where I got it, though. Shh-shh!

Is that Kryptonite?

Oh, it is, it is! Shiny, glinty, green Kryptonite!

Just imagine the kind of fun I can have with this.

[askjacknimball]

Is that Kryptonite?

Oh, it is, it is! Shiny, glinty, green Kryptonite!

Just imagine the kind of fun I can have with this.

[askjacknimball]

Hey Jack, what would you say is your favorite thing you’ve gotten for Christmas?

Ah, well, it was a long time ago... we didn't have a lot of money when I was growing up...

There was an annual Metropolis charity drive for needy families when I was pretty young. LexCorp hosts it, they still host it, mmm, I think. Right before Christmas, they give little payouts to families below the ‘poverty line’, though it's kind of a lottery if you win, like a scholarship or something.

One year we won. I've never seen my dad like that before.

He took me to the park. We went sledding. We had steak for Christmas dinner. I hated it, 'cos kids are like that, but they didn't even make me finish it. They'd never let me get away with not eating something before.

My mother bought me new clothes, and I'd only ever had hand-me-downs before. She even let me pick them out, with her approval.

All the money was gone by New Year's, but there was a whole week where my mom and dad were happy.

Hey, Scooby, don't drop that! You know it's expensive, plus, a surprise for later...

[askjacknimball]

Now that Halloween's over, you know what time it is~!

I, for one, am looking forward to spreading a little joy, and some toys!

[askjacknimball]

What're your plans this Halloween?

W-well, I was gonna settle in for a Scooby Doo marathon... it is t-that time of year, after all...

B-but something's making the hair on my neck stand up...

E-eep. I'm going to turn a light on.

I would trick-or-treat, but I'm not allowed this year. Stupid.

[askjacknimball]

A n-new friend, perhaps? @edweird-nashton​

Or, maybe, a new toy...?

[askjacknimball]

P'tchuh! That commenter clearly stated that this was a gift from the future, and who knows how long away their present is! I could DIE before it comes out, and then I'll never have one!

Sleep mode off, Scooby, we have evil-doing to evil-do!

@askjacknimball

You uh. You look considerably more manic than usual, what’s the-

…Aw, fuck.

Listen, just go get your own. Get fifty. Just leave mine alone.

[askjacknimball]

Y-you know, if you j-just give it over t-to me, I can fix it. The f-future bear of infinites… infi… invaluable quality. 

Ha. Ha ha. Ha. 

L-LET ME SEE IT, GHOUL.

I don't know if you like Care Bears, but saw that this Care Bear is going to be released soon (though I guess it would depend on your timeline, that you're in too). I assume if you did like care bears, this would probably be one you would get or like...maybe?

So…

You get that I’m about…16 years too old for these, right? I’m a little too grown for cute stuff.

However, with a little bit of work…

Now we can roll. Thanks for the new lab assistant.

[askjacknimball]

I can patch that out. If you need me to. Whatever.

Are you aware of your ward's new... Uh... Pet?

…….

Ghoul.

What does the internet person mean, Ghoul.

[askjacknimball]

You might've seen me working on it in another ask, but Magnemite's my favorite! He's such a little cutie that I made my own!

Look, he's so--

**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK**

Th-that's funny, I don't remember telling anyone the location of my super-secret Metropolis hideout.

I... I'm going to go take care of that.

[askjacknimball]

You and I have to hang out at least once.

You said you like hyenas, right?? How d'you feel about surprises? - Toyman

Uh

Sure?