askhellopenguin - Tumblr blog

[askhellopenguin]

Well, it’s a scary thought to hear that the penguin exists in other worlds apart from our own.

STATISTICAL ANALYSIS SHOWS THAT THE POTENTIAL OF THE PENGUIN EXISTING ELSEWHERE WITHIN THE MULTIVERSE IS 100%. CHANCES THAT OUR GROUP, OR SIMILAR EXISTS IN THE SAME MULTIVERSE AS THE PENGUIN IS APPROXIMATELY 50%.

…

H E L L O

Do you still live in or near the World Machines? You may be in danger. A plague of nonsentience approaches them.

@jaye-of-the-glen

The world machines? I’m not sure what that means. Although we’ve heard the plague bit before.

TO REITERATE, THE SIMPLE FACT THAT A PLAGUE OF THIS SORT DOES NOT EXIST WITHIN MY DATABASE MEANS THAT IT DOES NOT, AND WILL NOT EXIST.

Well Future Robot, I remember one time where there was a plague. It was something called the living white, and it was really scary. I ended up getting sick with it, but I didn’t actually get sick because I can’t get sick. I ended up telling everyone that I got sick so I wouldn’t have to go to school, but then I DID get sick somehow, and it was strange. I ended up throwing up all over the house so much. Or that’s what I told people when I accidentally sneezed and set my house on fire.

WHAT THE FUCK

[askhellopenguin]

H E L L O

Do you still live in or near the World Machines? You may be in danger. A plague of nonsentience approaches them.

@jaye-of-the-glen

The world machines? I’m not sure what that means. Although we’ve heard the plague bit before.

TO REITERATE, THE SIMPLE FACT THAT A PLAGUE OF THIS SORT DOES NOT EXIST WITHIN MY DATABASE MEANS THAT IT DOES NOT, AND WILL NOT EXIST.

Well Future Robot, I remember one time where there was a plague. It was something called the living white, and it was really scary. I ended up getting sick with it, but I didn’t actually get sick because I can’t get sick. I ended up telling everyone that I got sick so I wouldn’t have to go to school, but then I DID get sick somehow, and it was strange. I ended up throwing up all over the house so much. Or that’s what I told people when I accidentally sneezed and set my house on fire.

WHAT THE FUCK

[askhellopenguin]

It doesn't target individuals, but the world itself.

Yours might not be at risk, but another might be. If that happens, all worlds might become threatened.

Please stay wary.

Interesting… a plague to the world…

OH! You’re referring to the penguin. Yeah i suppose you could call it a plague, and it definitely targets the world itself.

STATISTICAL ANALYSIS PREDICTS THAT THE ASKER IS NOT REFERRING TO THE PENGUIN. HOWEVER, MY EXISTENCE INDICATES THAT THIS WORLD IS NOT CURRENTLY AT RISK. IF IT WAS, INFORMATION ON THIS PLAGUE WOULD EXIST WITHIN MY DATABASE.

Thanks, but I do believe the Future Robot. It has accurately predicted several major events using its Future Database.

[askhellopenguin]

Beware, for there are rumors of a plague on the horizon.

Keep warm!

THE CHANCES OF A PLAGUE ARE 0.1•10^-99. IT IS HIGHLY UNLIKELY THAT A PLAGUE WILL TARGET OUR PARTY.

Even if a plague does hit us, Clark is the only one who could possibly be affected by this plague, and the Future Robot is able to synthesize a vaccine almost instantly. The one time he was unable to synthesize a vaccine was for the common cold, which even in the future is apparently unable to be cured.

…

Actually CageFuck, I’m also immune to disease. I may be human, but I have plot armor! I think that’s what it’s called. It’s very useful when we encounter falling boulders.

[askhellopenguin]

do you all have an inventory? what is in it?

Oh I’m not actually sure. Ask the Pumpkin Knight. He’s in charge of supplies.

[askhellopenguin]

fifh

Fifh!

[askhellopenguin]

Wow what an interesting break! Are you all ready to continue our wonderful adventure?

Clark. It has been several months. In fact we ended this break 15 days too late. We need to begin moving again. In this time the penguin has ruined thousands of lives and gets stronger by the hour. We must continue quickly.

…

STATISTICAL ANALYSIS DETERMINES WE MUST MOVE ONWARDS AT A RATE OF 198 M/S IN ORDER TO COMPLETE OUR QUEST WITH THE HIGHEST ODDS OF SURVIVAL. STATISTICAL ANALYSIS ALSO DETERMINES THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE.

[askhellopenguin]

digital clocks are the original idle game. just watch the numbers go up. midnight? that’s the ascension mechanic. reset your time but you earn +1 day

[askhellopenguin]

Forgot i said I’d be going back to RP stuff today. New posts incoming soon

[askhellopenguin]

Please reblog for a bigger sample size! I want to get the best numbers I can.

[askhellopenguin]

HELLO

To those of you who are not watching the OneShot fandom scene, all of the OneShot ask character blogs are being overrun with a certain penguin from OneShot.

For context, there is an interactible in OneShot that looks like a penguin. When used, it emits a scary "HELLO" sound. Niko, the character you control, seems scared of it.

All the OneShot ask blogs are getting questions about a penguin, and every time, the character answering is attacked by the Penguin.

It does not seem to be stopping soon.

[askhellopenguin]

Heya everyone!

You might have noticed that I’m not as active recently as I used to be, and that’s because my workload has gone up exponentially. My schedule is completely full, and I don’t have a lot of time to complete the things I want to complete.

Or, I say that, but that’s not the full truth.

My tumblr and fandom stuff has really become a source of procrastination for me. It used to be a way i procrastinate, but now I’ve been procrastinating keeping my rp blogs up to date, and writing my fic, ect… and I feel like what I need is a small break.

Now, so this doesn’t become a permanent retirement from tumblr, we’re going to set a date. My break will be starting today, but all you mutuals and fans get to choose how long I’m going out for. I’m fine with any of these options, as they all signify a reduced workload for me.

I should mention, that I will be back for any breaks I get. Thanksgiving, Christmas, ect, or if I feel like coming back for good sooner. This date isn’t fixed in stone either. But, I know if I take a break and don’t set a hard deadline of a year, I’ll never come back.

I’ll also be checking tumblr occasionally, so I don’t mind you tagging me in picrews, or sending my main asks, and occasionally I may send out asks myself, but the blogs this is really going to apply to are:

@oneshotcafe

@askprophetbot

@askhellopenguin

@technomancing-in-a-magic-world

And any others I run that I’ve abandoned (and not advertised) like

@thetamedrobot or @p-chanblog

Anyways, I’ll be back! Don’t worry. I just felt like i needed to officially stop, and take a full break rather than just ignoring my blogs until they become a problem.

Thanks!

-N

[askhellopenguin]

So, Rue... That penguin, right?

[askhellopenguin]

H E L L O

- @askhellopenguin

[askhellopenguin]

…

[askhellopenguin]

Sorry we kinda zoned out. Why do they call you Cagefuck?

I will gladly repeat myself! You see, it all-

Oh! Wait! I think they remember perfectly well. RIGHT?

…

Oh. Of course. That is ok. I would not have minded telling my story again, but of course, this is fine.

[askhellopenguin]

how many people do you need to defeat an evil penguin?

I WILL EXPLAIN. CURRENTLY THERE ARE 4 HEROES. EACH HERO HAS A SPECIFIC JOB. CLARK SERVES A SUPPORTING ROLE. WITHOUT CLARK OUR CHANCES OF SURVIVAL WOULD BE 0.0000000000037%. CAGEFUCK PRIMARILY USES MAGIC. CAGEFUCK IS ABLE TO CREATE POWERFUL BOLTS OF LIGHTNING. WITHOUT CAGEFUCK OUR CHANCES OF SURVIVAL WOULD BE 0.000000000000000056%. THE PUMPKIN KNIGHT DRAWS ENEMY FIRE. WITHOUT THE PUMPKIN KNIGHT OUR CHANCES OF SURVIVAL WOULD BE 1.793%. I PROVIDE STATISTICAL ANALYSIS OF THE SITUATION. WITHOUT ME, OUR CHANCES OF SURVIVAL WOULD BE 0%. OUR CURRENT CHANCES OF SURVIVAL ARE APPROXIMATELY 78.36%

TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION, WE REQUIRE ALL FOUR OF OUR PARTY MEMBERS. ADDING MORE WOULD CAUSE OUR CHANCES OF SURVIVAL TO DROP BY APPROXIMATELY 2.36% PER ADDITIONAL MEMBER. THIS COURSE OF ACTION IS NOT ADVISED.