askdarcylewis-blog

[askdarcylewis-blog]

Okay, squids, time for me to go to bed.

I'll see y'all in the morning.

[askdarcylewis-blog]

OHMYGOD YOU ARE TOO CUTE.

Can I just pinch your cheeks? I've got the impossible urge to pinch your cheeks now. Because you are too cute to be allowed.

I can imagine the education Tony’s been trying to give you.

…actually, I can’t, because I refuse to, because those are the sorts of things I really don’t want to imagine a man my dad’s age thinking about.

[askdarcylewis-blog]

You gotta learn to know when I'm kidding, Stevie! After all, I would never imply that you'd let a man like Tony impugn on your honor.

I can imagine the education Tony’s been trying to give you.

…actually, I can’t, because I refuse to, because those are the sorts of things I really don’t want to imagine a man my dad’s age thinking about.

[askdarcylewis-blog]

I can imagine the education Tony's been trying to give you.

...actually, I can't, because I refuse to, because those are the sorts of things I really don't want to imagine a man my dad's age thinking about.

Well, if it isn’t Captain Rogers himself! How are you doing, Stevie Wonder?

[askdarcylewis-blog]

I'm excited! It sounds like the SHIELD-sponsored cultural classes are doing you good.

starsstripesandgarters started following you

Well, if it isn’t Captain Rogers himself! How are you doing, Stevie Wonder?

[askdarcylewis-blog]

You could say that. XD

Ask Thor to show you sometime. It's very... interesting to watch.

I believe it was Stark that pulled me aside and learned me in the ways of this most amusing dance of the Douglas!

[askdarcylewis-blog]

starsstripesandgarters started following you

Well, if it isn't Captain Rogers himself! How are you doing, Stevie Wonder?

[askdarcylewis-blog]

Oh, I'll bring the cookies. Macadamia nuts and cranberries and white chocolate chunks. And my grandmother's brandy banana bread.

I believe it was Stark that pulled me aside and learned me in the ways of this most amusing dance of the Douglas!

[askdarcylewis-blog]

You're an asshole for not inviting me. I would have made cookies, Tony. Cookies.

I believe it was Stark that pulled me aside and learned me in the ways of this most amusing dance of the Douglas!

[askdarcylewis-blog]

Jane, I hate to break it to you, but your "vintage collection" of Hubba Bubba wrappers is garbage. Also that moth-eaten, nasty-ass blanket you draped on me that one night and I legit freaked out because I thought that Batman had come to life and wrapped me in his tattered cloak. And, for god sakes, the pants you bought off Ebay that were apparently the Hulk's at one point or another (so not, by the way, Bruce could never be fat enough or stretch big enough to have necessitated those pants) need to fucking go. I'm serious. They smell like evil.

You could also stand to throw out the stupid poetry Donnie wrote you when you were dating, unless you were saving it to sell to Vogon invaders.

Finally online.

askdarcylewis:

Donnie, right? Came knocking on the trailer door, drunk off his ass, tried to grope my breasts when I told him to fuck off? Half the reason I kept my taser around after dark? That Donnie?

Yeah, I remember him.

CURRY. You are going to owe me so much curry for helping with this, you may’s well start paying up tonight. And it’s your own fault it takes so long to sort through your shit. You’re such a packrat, you never throw anything away.

Yeah. That Donnie.

Okay, okay, curry. I’ll get you lots of curry.

Hey! You’d be a packrat, too, if you never knew when something was going to come in handy. I’ve had notes from high school help me out in college and with building my equipment. Don’t diss my need for things.

And besides, I do throw things away. I throw garbage away. Everything in my apartment is not garbage.

[askdarcylewis-blog]

Donnie, right? Came knocking on the trailer door, drunk off his ass, tried to grope my breasts when I told him to fuck off? Half the reason I kept my taser around after dark? That Donnie?

Yeah, I remember him.

CURRY. You are going to owe me so much curry for helping with this, you may's well start paying up tonight. And it's your own fault it takes so long to sort through your shit. You're such a packrat, you never throw anything away.

Finally online.

You do not want to know about my day. Trust me on this.

[askdarcylewis-blog]

I ran into my high school boyfriend while I was on a grocery run. He's with this girl I knew back then. It's a long story but basically she was there to comfort me when we broke up and saw me cry over him and all that shit and they're getting married now. I haven't talked to her in years, but the sting of betrayal was still there.

It's stupid, but it was just weird to see them together.

Anyway, yes, I'm totally coming over to help you pack. We'll make a slumber party out of it and get spectacularly drunk.

Finally online.

You do not want to know about my day. Trust me on this.

[askdarcylewis-blog]

Finally online.

You do not want to know about my day. Trust me on this.

[askdarcylewis-blog]

BLARG DARCY IS TIRED NOW

It's been a busy night, but it's time for me to chase the rainbow-colored sheep that keep darting around my head. Don't question it.

I'LL SEE YOU ALL LATER, GATORS.

[askdarcylewis-blog]

Captain Jack Harkness, nice to meet you, Darcy.

Nice to meet you, too, soldier.

You don't happen to be familiar with Captain Steve Rogers, do you?

[askdarcylewis-blog]

Why is it that all the girls around here are so attractive?

You know, if I didn't live around enough guys like you, I might actually be flattered.

Darcy Lewis. And you are?

[askdarcylewis-blog]

Not so much offended as exhausted. I forget that Asgardian politics are wildly different from Midgardian politics and I keep trying to judge the situation by what I know from my degree but even by the most similar standards I can compare to, your world is so different from what I studied.

Basically: Darcy is tired of trying to wrap her head around the semantics.

You Asgardians are impossible. Impossible!

I’m gonna go back to goading Clint and Natasha to admitting to sleeping together. You and Loki have fun spending another bazillion years getting around to smiling at one another without thinking about the negative consequences.

(How am I gonna survive a double date with the two of you guardedly flirting ohmygod I may end up killing someone.)