ask-barbie

[ask-barbie]

Because you deserve to get back just as much of the love you pour into the world.

k.b. // you do

[ask-barbie]

Hi, looking for advice. For years, I have unwillingly been shoehorned into a "therapist friend" role for someone who used to be my best friend. We've had a long history and been through a lot together, getting each other through the hardest times and creating a lot of fun memories. But over time the reciprocation slowly waned. For example, I've stayed up for hours many nights comforting them, but when I came to them looking for support or even just to talk, the conversation would very quickly turn to themselves or their interests; if I ask them how their day went, the question is never returned, and on the rare occasions they approach be with a "how are you" it's because they just want to vent to me. It's gotten to the point where I've stopped divulging anything to them - good or bad - because I'm tired of being ignored or talked over, and they never ask me about my life anymore. I've brought up my feelings to them many times, and they always promised to do better in the future, but still the only time they want to talk to me is to use me as a sounding board. I can't even encourage them to talk to a therapist because they already have one! I recognize that this is codependent and terribly unhealthy, but the main thing keeping me from parting ways besides our history is the fact that I am genuinely their only friend. I don't want to leave them high and dry, but I also have been unsuccessful in setting boundaries with them multiple times. Do you have any advice?

Hello!

I need to do better with the quick responses, I’m sorry!

Thank you for reaching out, you sound like a kind and caring person and sometimes people take advantage of that kindness and don’t reciprocate. I’m sorry this is happening about a close friend of yours, I’ve actually been there. You feel a responsibility to be there for them no matter what and feel guilty if you don’t want to play that role anymore. But being their only friend doesn’t mean you should hold onto that responsibility. People need to be able to grow and become independent and putting some space may let them get there and will also give you the space to let yourself grow as well. It’s very good that you have tried to set boundaries so I’m proud of you; but if someone has no self awareness, even conversations pointing out what is wrong may not cause them to change. So if they are still not showing that they understand your feelings and are going to be considerate and kind back to you, you definitely have to put yourself first. I love the quote “don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.” You have been there for them so much and it may be time to take a break. You don’t necessarily have to sever ties, but you have to be true to yourself and take care of you first. If someone is draining your energy, how will you take care of you? Be a little less available and maybe they will realize something is off and gain some self awareness so things can change. You deserve to feel appreciated and not just there for convenience. If you leave a little distance, they may also find someone else to pawn their vents and problems to as well. It’s difficult when you’ve known them a long time and those memories will always be there but knowing what you deserve is so important- a friendship should not be one sided. I hope that helped and I hope you find people who will reciprocate your thoughtfulness and kindness 💓

[ask-barbie]

@studiomeggy

[ask-barbie]

BARBIE wins Cinematic and Box Office Achievement at the 81st Golden Globes

[ask-barbie]

“i feel like i have no purpose” You are not a fixed entity. You do not have one grand, singular, constant purpose. As long as you have genuine intent behind your actions, everything you do serves a purpose. As long as you are truly present, you notice that everything contributes to a greater whole. You do not need to dedicate yourself endlessly to one practice to achieve a purpose; allow yourself to oscillate freely between them all. Experiment. You are not one dimensional: treat yourself as such.

[ask-barbie]

Hi, I have autism and it’s hard for me to make friends. I’ve been having a hard time lately especially online. I cry everyday and I don’t want therapy because it doesn’t work and therapists only want money. I don’t want to tell people too much but I want to make friends with people who have things in common. My best friend and I had a huge fight and now I have no one. I feel like a loser and an outcast everywhere I go.

Hi!

I apologize for the late response! I’m so sorry you’re going through this. From personal experience, therapy works wonders if you truly connect and feel seen with your therapist. It allows you to talk about things with an unbiased opinion so I would definitely recommend it to anyone. Also, it can be so hard to make friends but having a friend to confide in is a great thing. Does your best friend know what you’re feeling? If you guys are talking again, maybe they can help you talk through your thoughts. Being honest about what you’re feeling is good and people who don’t understand aren’t worth the stress. You are so strong and I hope you find the people that understand you and make you feel included. Believe in yourself, anyone would be lucky to call you their friend!!

[ask-barbie]

“Trust yourself. You have survived a lot. And you will survive whatever is coming.”

— Unknown

[ask-barbie]

Dear Barbie,

I'm scared to become an adult. I don't know what I want to do or who I want to become. I hardly even know who I am right now and always rely on others to describe what I'm like. There's not one thing I'm truly passionate about and I'm indecisive. Sure I may be young but it all feels like everything I do now is what matters. I don't feel qualified at all I still feel like I'm just a 14 year old messy work in progress. I suppose it's the uncertainty that scares me.

On top of that, I'm unfortunately awful at dealing with emotions. I've tried every trick in the book and made every attempt to accept my failures and embrace my negative emotions in a healthy way but they always, always, always just have to come out. No matter what I do even if I manage to process something healthily at first, eventually I'll just end up ugly crying and sobbing hysterically at inconvenient times.

I'm not sure if i even want advice, I just want to know if there's someone out there who felt the exact same yet turned out alright and had everything work out. I don't want to be this way when I'm a fully grown adult.

Hi Barbie,

I used to also feel like a messy indecisive work in progress for years until my second year of college. I didn’t know what my interests were, what I wanted to go to college for, who I wanted to be or even who I was. I was very invisible yet also felt like I took up too much space and didn’t know how to comfortably find my voice and passion. And right now, years later I am starting a career path I love and I never thought I would get here. Thinking about becoming an adult is so scary and I can’t say it won’t be hard but you will find yourself. It takes time and work but you can do it.

You sound like you are in tune with yourself regardless of not knowing who you want to become. It took me years to find my passion and to find myself and learn how to deal with negative emotions. What helped me was meeting friends who were there to remind me when my brain is playing tricks on me AND who celebrate my wins. Also therapy. Who I surrounded myself with made such a difference. When I felt like I didn’t know what I was made for, those people defining me with positive words and qualities eventually became believable and I’m sure you are an amazing person and will be able to do anything you set your mind to.

I hope that helped a little :) the journey is hard but worth it

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[ask-barbie]

to anyone who thinks or feels too much, this account is made to give advice or be a shoulder to cry on.

i will say this: i was in fact inspired by the Barbie movie just because of the way girls can be there for each other and, at times, I wish people were more like Barbies— always positive and never hurting anyone.

only you know what you’ve been through or what you’re going through. if you feel like you have no one to talk to or just want something off your chest, I am here to be your positive guide!

anyone of all walks of life can send an ask and whether or not you want me to share it :)