ask-an-asexual

[ask-an-asexual]

happy new year to alloromantic aces, aromantic aces, grey aces, polyamorous aces, monogamous aces, aces dating allos, aces dating aces, aces dating no one, nonbinary aces, intersex aces, disabled aces, neurodivergent aces, transmasc aces, transfem aces, fat aces, poor aces, Black aces, brown aces, sex-repulsed aces, sex-indifferent aces, sex-averse aces, sex-favourable aces, libidoist aces, nonlibidoist aces, out aces, closeted aces, baby aces, aces who've known for a long time, ace community leaders, proud aces, aces who struggle with self-acceptance, ace youth, ace elders, lesbian aces, gay aces, bi+ aces, aces whose native language lacks ace resources, aces who are involved in community, aces who are isolated from community — happy new year to all aces.

may 2025 be a great ace year.

[ask-an-asexual]

about the admin:

26 years old

black stripe asexual

have identified as some flavour of ace for 10+ years

i don't like labelling my sex-stance but if i absolutely had to it would be sex-indifferent to sex-favourable

demiromantic

in a monogamous relationship with an allosexual

probably bi (romantic?? tertiary??)

nonbinary (they/them pronouns only)

multiply disabled, fat

perisex, white

[ask-an-asexual]

Did you have any trouble accepting your ace identity and/or do you have any words of advice for people who struggle with that?

hi!

when i first noticed that something was going on with my sexuality, it was definitely hard to accept. i knew it was a fundamental and immutable part of me but at the same time i felt wrong and broken. even after finding out that there's a word that describes me and a community like me, this feeling remained, probably because at that point i wasn't really making an effort in immersing myself in ace community and culture. i only truly entered the ace community when i realised i was also queer in other ways and i think that was a big mistake - i should have done it sooner, and i can only recommend it, even if it's just seeking out ace content online. it definitely helps normalise being ace in your own head, especially hearing about experiences similar to yours.

i've known i was ace for about half my life at this point, and to be completely honest, i still sometimes feel some shame about it, coming out as asexual feels like revealing something personal, intimate, private, but it's nothing like it was 10 years ago. the shame is outweighed by an overwhelming love of asexuality, ace culture, the ace lens, ace community, ace pride.

i also gotta say that "fake it til you make it" has always kind of worked for me, by just telling myself that being ace is normal and good actually.

[ask-an-asexual]

Do you have any funny stories about realizing you were ace?

not really, but i have some silly ones where i forgot i was ace and was then reminded.

trying to sing "i'm too sexy for my shirt" ironically but literally just laughing because i can't even call myself sexy as a joke

wondering why a song makes me feel a bit uncomfortable and then looking at the lyrics and realising they're super duper sexual

not realising the porn ads on dodgy websites actually worked on people and thinking they're just there to make access harder for some odd reason

being completely confused by the fact that for most people sex and love are linked, what do you mean it's emotional?

[ask-an-asexual]

favourite Pokemon (also ace)

confession: i have never played, watched or whatever else you can do with pokémon so i'm afraid i don't have one.

[ask-an-asexual]

Yay fun blog concept! Fellow ace calling in:

Did you have a moment in your life that - in hindsight - was a sign that you were ace?

**If ya don't wanna share personal info: which "ace symbol" (ie. ace ring, ace of spades, dragons, ect.) is your favorite?

hi!

honestly, not really. i've known in one way or another that i was ace since i was 13, even if i didn't know the word. maybe that was all one big moment, marked by a repulsion to sex in many ways. the only thing earlier that i can even remotely connect to asexuality is that even as a child i was aggressively childfree, but eh.

i really love the ace ring, because not only is it a symbol for other people, it's almost a physical object that anchors me to my community, a reminder that there are others like me out there.

[ask-an-asexual]

Can demisexuals ask too??

yes, of course. as i said in my pinned, anyone is welcome to ask questions here. this is an asexual-centric blog though. as a reminder, the most common definition of asexuality is experiencing little to no sexual attraction, which does include grey ace identities like demisexuality. while i personally don't experience any sexual attraction, i'll always try to answer questions about grey asexuality to the best of my abilities.

[ask-an-asexual]

welcome to ask an asexual!

it's what it says on the tin. whether you're ace yourself or allosexual and just curious, i'm open to all good-faith questions. questions go in the inbox please, not in reblogs or replies.

about the mod: they/them, identified as asexual for 10+ years, demiromantic, in a long-term monogamous romantic relationship