ask-a-classic-astronaut

[ask-a-classic-astronaut]

So Jennifer Blue Chu thought it would be ‘fun’ to cover me in flesh eating giant worms. Turns out, it wasn’t fun!

[ask-a-classic-astronaut]

This is cyber bullying!!! I’m reporting you to human resources!

...Wait do we even have a human resources department?

out of context.

[ask-a-classic-astronaut]

How does it feel to be the worst member of the space squad?

//M!A: Skele-Penny [2/15]

[ask-a-classic-astronaut]

“DAMN.” Questions for Muses.

BLOOD. -What types of injuries has your muse sustained? What was the worst? 

DNA. -What was your muses home life like?

YAH. -Something your muse agrees on 100% of the time.

ELEMENT. -What is your muse “made of”, what is their character like? Courageous, loving, scared, etc.

FEEL. -How does your character react to a persons touch? A random stranger’s? A loved one’s? A friend’s?

LOYALTY. -Does your character have any loyalty to any group?

PRIDE. -What is your muses biggest flaw?

HUMBLE. -How does your muse handle praise?

LUST. -Who does your muse find attractive?

LOVE. -Does your muse have a “special someone”

XXX. -What’s the raunchiest thing your muse has ever done?

FEAR. -What are your muses biggest fears?

GOD. -Does your muse believe in a god? If so, describe it.

DUCKWORTH. -Has your muse ever thought about committing or committed a crime?

[ask-a-classic-astronaut]

//M!A: Skele-Penny [1/15]

[ask-a-classic-astronaut]

[Log Date 3:48AM 7/14/19]

She’s so very tired. Penny wanders the hall of the space station, trying to find the engineering lab, so she can find things to do instead of sleeping. She runs her hand along the wall as she walks, noticing the worn out bolts as they scratch against her fingers.

There’s footsteps behind her, she turns around as she lets out a yawn, not surprised to see Denny standing there, their eyes burning red. Denny wasn’t usually one to show emotion like that, something must have really set them off. Something that Penny probably knows.

Penny opens her arms up, and tilts her head as she lets out a little laugh, “I guess you’re here to talk about the Accident.”

Denny walks at a slow pace towards her, not saying anything. Penny’s smile turns into a frown, she expected some witty comeback, some sort of hurt and devastated Denny. 

“C’mon, aren’t you going to say something. Say how you’re hurt by me? Say how much you hate me for what I did to your stupid brother-”

Denny finally reacts by pushing Penny into the wall by her shoulder, and Penny is back to smiling, “finally something, so what are you gonna do? Threaten to kill me? Make me relive my worst nightmare? Keep me preoccupied while your friends come?”

“I’m going to arrest you.”

“Wait what-” Penny is actually starting to freak out here, struggling to get out of Denny’s grip, “Nonono, say you aren’t doing that, say you’re doing something else here.”

Denny cocks an eyebrow as they move to zip tie Penny’s hands together, “would you rather me kill you.”

“YES,” Penny finds herself frantically tugging against the restraints, “you don’t understand, I have brain implants from Blacktron, if they find out I’ve been arrested they will sanitize my brain.”

“Sanitize your brain, what are they going to do spray lysol on it?”

“They slowly and painfully burn off my neurons until my brain turns to mush and I become a living corpse.”

“Well how will they find out, your arrest is going to be highly confidential,” Denny tugs Penny forward towards the space bay.

“You idiot, I’ve been a spy the whole time, I have a live camera-” her eyes widen in shock as the next few words stuttered out, “that’s been recording this whole conversation.”

And then she feels a slight shock in the front of her skull, and she falls to her knees, Denny almost losing their grip on her, “[shit] it’s starting,” her breathing grows rapid as Denny attempts to lift her up.

“Stop being over dramatic,” Denny rolls their eyes, and goes to moves Penny only to find she was burning through her space suit.

Penny looks up to Denny tears starting to form, “please,” she doesn’t understand what she was doing, why was she asking for help here, but her whole body was in cased in panic so she couldn’t stop herself, “do something.”

Denny leans down to the crying traitor, and shakes their head, not saying anything no matter how much Penny begged.

The process lasted several hours, and Penny lived through every horrifying second of losing her consciousness.

And then she woke up. She had passed out in the hallway, she raised her hand to her head, as she realized to get once again formulate thoughts, and starts crying out tears of joy. But not to long into her crying she notices someone approach her and she quickly rubs her face to try and hide away her tears. She turns to face the person, only to lean and let out in confusion, “what the [fuck].”

The man doesn’t really seem to address that, just holding out some high tech equipment to her, “Jenny’s busy right now so she wanted me to run some errands, and uh get you some repair equipment so you can fix the telepathic synthesizer.”

Penny is much more concerned with the complexion of the man standing in front of her than whatever he was saying, “you don’t have a [fucking] face.”

He seems kind of surprised by that statement, or at least his body movements made it seem he was surprised, his shoulders raise a bit, and he raises his hand to his face, it phasing through before it dawns on him, that he does in fact not have a face, “oh yeah, Jenny has gotten me into the habit of not wearing my helmet, and she acts pretty normal around me so I forget I don’t have a face.”

“Wait, are you, Rex Dangervest?”

“I go by Risk-Man now, or Risk.”

“Are you like a ghost? Are you the ghost of Rex Dangervest?”

“I mean, kind of? Also, again, don’t call me Rex.”

Penny then goes to stick her hand into Rex’s face, it phasing through completely. Rex is quick to slap her hand out of his face, starting to get a little pissed off, “okay lady, I think I’m going to go now.”

“Wait,” she scrambles a bit for composure, “if you’re really Dangervest, why are you living on some nobody’s couch? Weren’t you a fierce space captain responsible for destroying countless fleets?”

“Do you want a lie or the truth?”

“The truth?” Her answer is hesitant, and she finds herself shaking as the phantom figure steps closer, towering over her.

“Well the truth is reality is a lie, our reality is based upon toy bricks being built by some middle aged man in a dying marriage and his two bickering kids. And nothing I do really matters in the grand scheme of that so why bother, might as well just relax and enjoy life.”

Penny squints her eyes, not responding to that, and Rex laughs, “oh you don’t believe me. That’s cute. But just think about it, your silly world doesn’t make any sense. You were all just toys bought in the 80’s, and I mean one of you was defective, the pink one, probably why he wasn’t played with a lot, and when he was it was usually to be made fun of, that caused some serious psychological damage. And Kenny, the one that the man upstairs thought looked funny, well that made him the joke of the group, and Jenny? Well she wasn’t always Jenny that was she-” Penny shoves Rex into the wall, he was surprisingly light, like he was just a suit with nothing in it, “I don’t know why you’re getting off to making fun of my friends like that.”

Rex just laughs at her, “they’re your friends? The man upstairs didn’t think that when he took you and placed you into the Blacktron set before locking up your friends in storage for a good number of years, good thing they were master builders and they were able to get out, right?” He lets out another smaller chuckle, “but you wouldn’t know anything about being a master builder would you.”

That statement makes her grip soften, shock in her eyes, “what are you implying?”

He shrugs, “I’m implying that I know a lot of things I shouldn’t, perks of seeing into the other side. I see that you caused Benny’s accident, I see that you’re set up to be the antagonist of this story, and that you’re internalized issues with maser building prevented you from ever learning it yourself. That’s big oof from me, man I bet if you had accepted that about yourself you wouldn’t be so alone.”

Penny’s shaking now, letting go of Rex as she steps away from him, “I don’t understand-”

“Oh well let me give you the end notes, reality is fake, you’re a bad guy, and uh also a master builder.”

“I can’t be a master builder- wait who cares about that, this is all a trick to mess with me.”

“What would I get with messing with you asshole?”

“Satisfaction of seeing someone else suffering.”

“Sorry Risk-Man is going through his redemption arc, I don’t do things like that.”

“You can’t just say you’re going through a redemption arc, that’s not how social development works,” she tells him, still backing away.

“Pfft, that sounds like someone who hasn’t tried going through a redemption arc.”

“How do you even go through a redemption arc?” Penny asks trying to point out how stupid that sounds. But instead she just sounds like she’s genuinely interested. 

“You treat others how you want to be treated, apologize that you hurt others even if you don’t feel bad for it, don’t do more bad things, and you know don’t be an asshole,” Rex then shoves the electronic he’s been holding for awhile and starts heading out, “well I got to jet, Jenny’s probably wondering where I went, so take that thing and fix the telepathic machine so you stop having shared nightmares with the other astronauts.”

She watches Rex walks away holding the mechanism, the words of his statement sinking as she yells out much later, “SHARED NIGHTMARES?!”

[ask-a-classic-astronaut]

//M!A: Hair Dye is Over

//M!A: Skele-Penny Begins! [0/15]

[ask-a-classic-astronaut]

“How about I don’t do that, I really like keeping all my personal problems locked up in a box that will never be opened, and talking to anyone to try and clear stuff up will definitely open that Pandora’s box.” //M!A: Hair Dye [15/15]

[ask-a-classic-astronaut]

[Log Date 3:08AM 7/13/19]

It was a slow a dreadful feeling as Penny came to the realization she didn’t want to be alone. She stared at her ceiling as she lay in bed, not wanting to fall asleep with this terrible headache from experiencing emotions.

She hears a knock on her door. She pulls herself out of bed to go answer, surprised to see Kenny standing there. 

“Can I help you-” she starts to ask, but is cut off by him barging past her and taking a seat at her desk, swiveling the chair towards her as he crosses his arms, he seems pretty pissed off right now.

And suddenly she feels like she’s back in 19XX, sitting in Kenny’s office, as he hands her a stack of papers. “What do you mean I can’t go on the mission,” she sounds hurt, almost insulted here. “I’m sorry but Mission Control said we need someone to stay back aboard the station to make sure everything runs smoothly.” Penny throws her hands up in frustration, “But this is supposed to be our big mission, it’s supposed to be all of us, finally working together!” “Listen I know this is hard-” “Wait,” her attitude shifting from hostile to suspicious, “why am I the one forced to sit out?”

Kenny does a slight gulp, “well you know, you’re the most, well the least, it’s hard to say really-” “It’s because my space powers haven’t come in yet, isn’t.” Kenny lets out a sigh, and places his hand on the back of his neck, “yeah, the mission is just a lot more dangerous for you, ya know? At least if one of us gets knocked into the abyss of space we have a chance at survival. But you-” Penny begrudgingly takes the papers before he can finish, “yeah I get it. I’ll be the watchdog this time.”

And then there’s a shift back into the present, and Kenny’s still sitting right in front of her, pissed off.“So, if you hadn’t been forced to sit out, would you have still done it?” “Done what,” she says pretending not to know what he’s talking about.

Kenny picks up a mug off the desk and slams it against the wall, shattering it into a million pieces, “the Accident.”“What makes you think I caused it,” she asks dryly.

He holds up an old VHS tape, “just some video evidence.” “I deleted that tape,” she starts to shake now.

“You know you can restore old tapes right? I expected you to be smarter than that.”

“Okay, so you got video evidence of me messing with the controls, what are you going to do now Ken?”

“Well, I’ve already told the others, they should be here soon. So I just have to make sure you don’t escape.”

She lets out a cold laugh, “and how are you going to do that?”

Kenny stands up, towering over her, “by starting a fight,” he says before driving his fist into her face.

She stumbles back from the punch, lifting her hand to her face to see it covered in blood, “not bad, but let me show you how it’s really done,” and she pulls back her fist and drives it into his stomach, sending him flying into the wall hard enough for it to crack. She lets out a smile after that punch, standing over the hunched form of Kenny, but then her smile falters. Kenny didn’t deserved to get hurt here, she shakes her head and starts to head towards the door, only to stop herself as she hears Kenny stand up.

He starts running towards her, aiming on punch for her head, but she ducks under it, only to get caught off guard by a second punch, and Kenny is able to uppercut her right in the chest, causing her to fall back and onto her desk and impale herself a top various hazardous electronics. 

She blacks out for a few seconds, but when she’s able to think again, she see’s Kenny crouched over on the ground, clutching his arm in pain. She pulls herself off the desk, her chest feeling as if it had concaved, and her whole body feeling like it was quickly shutting down. 

If she hurried, she could make it to the escape pod and use a high grade medic kit in there, but- 

She looked at Kenny, in so much pain he couldn’t move. She didn’t feel bad about what she caused, in fact seeing another in pain, almost felt good. But she knew it was wrong, it would be wrong to just leave him here, bleeding to death, and she was tired of doing the wrong thing.

She limps to her desk and pulls out a first aid kit and limps over to Kenny, taking his arm as she looked it over. Looked like he had gotten himself pretty badly cut up in the circuitry of her suit. She shakes her head and pours some cleansing agent on, and Kenny tries to pull away, “what are you trying to torture me now?”

“I’m trying to make sure you don’t die idiot,” she groans, starting to tape up the arm. As each second passes she can feel her vision slipping away, and she hated that she was spending precious runaway time making sure this guy didn’t die.“

Why, you wouldn’t be upset if I died.”

“I would miss you,” she says bluntly, not having the energy to argue that much.

“You hate us!” Kenny yells, trying to pull away once again.

“I don’t hate you guys, you were like the only friends I ever had.”

She thinks she’s starting to hear running and shouting in the hall, but her hearing is starting to fade with her vision so she isn’t sure, but Kenny seems to be recovering from the pain, trying to get himself to stand now, and asking, “then why did you do it, why did you hurt your only friends.” “Cause I’m stupid and selfish, I don’t know, what do you want me to say?”

“That you’re sorry!” “Well I’m-” suddenly breathing becomes very difficult, she wonders if she has a punctured lung here. And now with the inability to breathe, she’s finding it very hard to stay conscious, barely able to make out the silhouettes of the other astronauts as they pour into the room, and start saying words she can’t hear. And before she knows it everything goes black.

And then she wakes up in bed.

[ask-a-classic-astronaut]

“Of course I have to wear heels, all the other other a**hole astronauts feel the stupid need to float all the time so if I want to talk to them at a decent eye level I have to wear heels.”

 //M!A: Hair Dye [14/15]

[ask-a-classic-astronaut]

[Log Date 1:48AM 7/12/19]

Penny finds herself back at her Blacktron workstation, she blinks around, trying to remember how she got back here. Oh right, she thinks to herself, I'm sleeping. Dreaming was a necessary part of an optimized brain. Which is sad because Penny would rather be doing anything else than sleeping. Her last few nights had been filled with nightmare inducing realities and she wanted them to be over with. She could really live without her subconscious's attempt to make her feel guilt.

Penny begrudgingly paces around her office, afraid to so much as walk towards the door and set off this trip. But luckily the trip came to her, she hears screaming and loud footsteps from outside the corridor. The running stops at her door and someone opens it and slams it closed, leaning over as they catch their breath.

It's Owenny, in his green, or maybe it's orange suit? She can't seem to remember and the dream reflects that by keeping the suit color unrecognizable. She studies him for a moment, seeing fear in his eyes. Which is surprising, since she was pretty sure all emotion was drained out from him. Whatever was outside the door was horrifying enough to undo years of brainwashing. 

She offers a hand up to him, "what's outside there," she asks, pulling him up.

The tired astronaut shakes his head, "some sort of alien, it's horrifying, it's out there torturing us for fun," the man grips onto Penny for support, but she flinches away, brushing off his touch.

"Well we can just get to the escape pod-" Before she can finish her door slams open, and there's a loud blast from behind Owenny, before he disintegrates into nothingness.

Standing in the doorway above a pile of ash was a grinning astronaut, who had a firm grip on his laser gun. He tilts his pink helmet at Penny as he laughs, walking towards her, stomping on the pile of ash he had just created. 

"Oh it's Penny, just the traitor I was looking for," she tries to protest that claim but he cuts her off, "you see I'm here because I heard a funny little rumor you caused Benny's accident."

She looks to the floor, fear striking her as she finds herself unable to lie, "I did."

Lenny laughs at that, raising his hand to his head, but doesn't say anything.

"Listen, I can explain myself, it was a different time-"

"SHUT UP," he yells, blasting a few inches away from her face, "you don't get to talk, you get to suffer."

Penny shakes her head as she dashed to the door, only to be stopped by Lenny grabbing her arm, "this isn't you, you're not some cold blooded killed, you're Lenny the soft kind guy everyone likes!"

Lenny laughs once more, pulling in Penny closer so he can sneer in her face as she sees the white of his eyes, "don't you see, I've cracked."

Penny pushes away, but Lenny's grip is unbreakable, "so tell me more about the Accident."

She tries to keep her mouth shut, but words just spill out, "I enjoyed it okay, I finally felt I was better than the rest of you, finally felt like I was doing something right, and you know I really did wish Benny died out there, one less Master Builder in the world to worry about."

Lenny slams her into the wall and she can feel herself missing a few teeth, and he leans in close and whispers horrifying, excruciating murder methods he was going to apply to her. After he's done he loosens his grip on her, waiting for her to respond, to start and beg for mercy, that was the fun part of the hunt, to watch them squirm and beg for their life like the filth they are.

But she looks broken, and soullessly mutters out, "do it then, I deserve it."

She braces herself for the blast, but nothing happens, she turns her head to see Lenny, but his eyes seem flickering, he's stepping back now looking horrified at the room, at the blood on his hands.

"Penny," he asks, but it's almost like his voice is fading away, "Penny what did I do-"

She wakes up before she can answer, finding herself asleep at her desk, having fallen asleep from working to hard on her projects. That dream hadn't been as bad as the other two, but there was something that didn't sit right in her stomach that her subconscious was mashing up the killer pink alien that had attacked Blacktron and sweet Lenny.

[ask-a-classic-astronaut]

[Log Date 1:08AM 7/11/19]

Penny walks into the office, no knocking, she just walks right into the room and takes a seat.

Jenny, working on some sort of high tech looking machine gives her weird look, but continues back on her machine.

"Jenny I want to-"

"Penny this is a dream," the Dream Jenny says, continuing to melt metal.

Penny lets out a sigh, "I know, I just thought it would be easier to pretend to be able to talk to you about this stuff."

"Then talk."

"I'm not sorry, for anything I've done."

Dream Jenny doesn't respond.

"But I do miss everyone, and sometimes I find myself wondering if my life would've been better off I hadn't done it."

"All our lives would've been better," Dream Jenny remarks, looking over to Penny, shaking her head, "but you don't care about that, you can only care about yourself. Don't you realize how terrible that makes you."

Penny is now standing up, curling her fists, "like you're any different, I know you can't care about people either."

"At least I'm trying!" Dream Jenny yells, throwing a hot piece of metal against the wall.

"What's the point in trying, you know no one else matters anyways."

"Don't you get it, you idiot," Jenny sneers, "it's that mentality that's made you so alone. You can't act like other people don't matter or else they won't want to hang out with you."

Penny walks closer to Jenny, thinking over those words, "so what I should pretend other people matter? It's not like that will gain me fame and fortune."

"Well you got fame and fortune, and what did that get you?"

"It brought me happiness," she says, slamming her hand down against Jenny's invention.

"Man you really are [fucked] up," Jenny laughs, going back to work on her machine, "guess you would be better off dead."

Penny steps back, "why are you saying that."

Jenny laughs again, pointing to her invention, now more clearly visible in the dreamscape, it seems to be a robotic duplicate of Penny.

Penny is starting to walk more quickly towards the door now "what the hell is that."

Jenny is just beside herself with laughter now, "isn't it obvious, I'm gonna make it so you can't die, so I can jettison you into space over and over again, bring you to the brink of death each time, only to save you last second, and then when I get bored with you, I'm gonna toss you into a furnace for the rest of eternity."

Penny is now pulling desperately at the door handle, trying to escape, but it won't budge. Her heart is racing as Jenny's laughter grows louder and louder, Penny is able to hear her pull out her laser pistol and then-

She wakes up. She had fallen asleep in the robotics lab. She shakes her head cursing at how these nightmares were getting worse and worse with each passing night. She decides to go take a shower and try and forgot about it.

[ask-a-classic-astronaut]

Penny is pushed a few inches back and makes an 'oof' like sound, she chuckles as Kenny pulls his fist away, patting him on the back "now that was much better, with some more practice you'll be able to break a rib in no time." This felt nice. Was this what having friends was like? Being proud of other people's abilities to beat you up?

Y'know what? fckin fight me bicth lets go i'm dead serious i'm at your door .

Penny just, punches Kenny right in the face, no hesitation.

[ask-a-classic-astronaut]

She seems kind of disappointed by his punch, and shakes her head. "You're doing it all wrong mac-n-cheese boy, listen you gotta close up your fist and place your thumb below your fingers, not under," she takes his fist and puts it the correct location, "then you want to stand up and twist your your arm back, and then twist your body back to give your punch momentum," she walks behind him and puts his shoulders in the correct position before walking in front of his hovering fist, "and finally you want to come in from below and aim for the abodomen, now how about you try that punch again?"

Y'know what? fckin fight me bicth lets go i'm dead serious i'm at your door .

Penny just, punches Kenny right in the face, no hesitation.

[ask-a-classic-astronaut]

"Oh, I just assumed-" Penny stops herself from talking more on that matter, not wanting something to slip out, she looked at Kenny and his bloodied face, trying to think of something to remedy the situation, "would it make you feel better if you punched me back? I'll give you one free punch."

Y'know what? fckin fight me bicth lets go i'm dead serious i'm at your door .

Penny just, punches Kenny right in the face, no hesitation.

[ask-a-classic-astronaut]

Penny stands blinking in confusion as the door is closed her face. He had said he wanted a fight, and she was giving him a fight, how was she in the wrong here. Why couldn't people just say what they really wanted. She lets out an aggravated sigh, and opens the door, approaching Kenny. A normal person would apologize here for misinterpreting the others words, but she couldn't really do apologies, so she runs her hand through her hair, trying to find words that would sound polite, "I had assumed you wanted to fight dude, I guess I assumed wrong, I hope I did not hurt you to a significant amount," gosh that was totally lame-balls, she groans at herself for not being able to communicate, and starts to head back inside, before stopping herself, looking away from Kenny, "is this why you guys all would rather I be not alive, because I can't feel feel bad for things I've done. Things I know hurt you guys."

Y'know what? fckin fight me bicth lets go i'm dead serious i'm at your door .

Penny just, punches Kenny right in the face, no hesitation.

[ask-a-classic-astronaut]

Y'know what? fckin fight me bicth lets go i'm dead serious i'm at your door .

Penny just, punches Kenny right in the face, no hesitation.  //M!A: Hair Dye [13/15]