asira-mizery

[asira-mizery]

can i send a tbosas request please? sejanus plinth x female reader, romantic and maybe hurt/comfort, she knows about his intentions and actually reassures him (i just want an alternative ending where he’s alive and happy pls😭)

Making peace with my inevitable death.

Sejanus Plinth x Fem! Reader (romantic fic, hurt comfort) Summary: There was only so long before you would find Sejanus, Spruce, and Billy Taupe's plan. Warning: violence, guns, death, description of blood, romantic, hurt comfort (Sejanus being comforted)(highkey sucks), nonaligned storytelling with the book or film (I forgot and was blindly going along) Author's note: this was lowkey difficult to make, I'm so sorry it took so long!!! Word count:4.2k

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Lucy Gray's voice carried throughout the Hob, the dancing townspeople filled the large room with repetitive tapping, all intermixed with each other.

Your hands were clasped in the hands of your love, who spun you around on the wooden floor. The dance was done by others, the citizens of District Twelve, who danced with their friends and lovers with excitement. The floral patterns of the women's dresses flashed by as you took quick steps with the music.

Sejanus’ hand was on your hip, quickly swaying you from side to side, hastily following the people around you both to not trip the rest of the dancers. He occasionally looked down at his feet, hoping he was taking the correct steps. Which, he was but he was still too nervous about messing up and flustering himself in front of you.

“You’re doing fine,” you say, loud enough for only him to hear. Sejanus smiled at your assurance and continued dancing.

You didn’t say anything to each other for several minutes, simply swaying with each other.

“After this song I have to go talk to my friend,” Sejanus whispered to you, barely audible with the loud ballad your friend sang effortlessly. You smiled at him and nodded, not fully understanding what he was saying. But you agreed nonetheless.

It was almost like he had known when the song ended because it was almost immediately after he said those words that it came to a conclusion. It ended with a bang, as one would say, ending with high notes and a final boom.

Lucy Gray had finished the upbeat song, the crowd clapping for her performance. The rest of the Covey shuffled around to get ready for the next song. “Thank you everyone,” she said happily, glancing at the rest of the Covey, who were stretching their fingers and fixing themselves, bracing for the next part of the show.

The dancers slowed to a stop, several of them leaving to get a drink. You and Sejanus did the same, leaving the dance floor to the table he occupied before you went to dance. The sound of a strumming guitar filled the room, followed by the angelic voice of Lucy Gray, singing a slow ballad.

Sejanus led you back to the table quietly, moving past the slow dancers, your hand carefully in his. You finally saw the table he had originally occupied, Coriolanus sitting at the stool, saving the spot for him.

You smiled at Coriolanus, who nodded at you before sipping from his glass again. Sitting on the stool, you took Sejanus’ glass of alcohol and drank from it with a smile. You knew he wouldn’t care that much about you taking the drink compared to other people, which you were grateful for.

“I’ll be back in a bit,” Sejanus smiled and kissed your cheek lightly, setting a couple more coins for you if you wanted another drink. You nod and scoot the coins closer to you, making sure you could grab them quickly if needed. “Stay here for now.”

Your eyes trailed to Coriolanus, who drank from his glass cup that held little alcohol and watched Lucy Gray. You watched Sejanus make his way down one of the halls, the hall leading to a room containing the Covey's stuff. You sip from the glass filled with alcohol, the glass having been Sejanus’s. You didn’t care about that though, taking the alcohol in with boredom.

Coriolanus didn’t say a word as he stood from the table, leaving his almost empty glass of alcohol to follow Sejanus. You narrowed your eyes as he followed the other man down the hall. You didn’t try calling Coriolanus back to ask where he was going.

Your eyes went back to Lucy Gray, who sung a song you had heard a time or two, her having performed it to see if it was good or not. Your lips let the rest of the alcohol into your mouth, the rest of it finally leaving the glass.

Her voice carried throughout like soft rushing water, like a river truly. Soft yet prominent in its flow. Your thoughts went to what you and Sejanus could be doing if he didn’t have that odd meeting with his so-called friend. You never even met the man, only catching glimpses of him when Sejanus went to grab another drink but went along with someone else to talk.

Several minutes had passed and Sejanus was still gone, at some point you got the idea to find him. Taking the coins, you put them in your pocket, and leave the table. The ballad Lucy Gray sang slowed to an end as you made your way through the crowd. The people clapped once they came to a stop, pulling their hands from their partners.

You turned to the darkened hallway, which was only for the people who used the Hob more than anyone else. Usually for the Covey but on the occasion for religious speakers, but that was nowhere near as common as Lucy Gray appearing.

“Sejanus?” You call as you go down the hall, finding several doors on the hall's walls. The sliding doors in the hallway all led to different rooms you had never been in. Your eyes fell on the door you had been in several times, bringing in the Covey’s instruments and helping them clean up after the shows. But you heard voices coming from behind the light wood. Taking several steps away from the hallway and to the Hob’s stage, you saw nearly the entire Covey on stage. Clerk Carmine was going around the lively Hob collecting donations from the dancers and drinkers at tables. And Maude Ivory was standing at the microphone, about to sing her new sunshine song she made only days prior.

You walk back to the door, the voices having quieted. You stare at it for several seconds before going to grab the handle, forcing it open, and sliding it away from the doorframe.

“Sejanus?” Your eyes almost naturally went to the ground when you opened the door, walking in hoping to find him. Your eyes went up to the group of men standing in the room, their gaze all on you.

“(Y/n)?” Sejanus mumbled, staring at you with hesitant shock. He tried walking to you but was stopped by a man holding a rifle, which was pointed at your chest. You stiffen at the sight of the gun, raising your hands from your sides to above your head.

“Who the hell are you?” The man asked roughly, not trying to be nice about the situation.

Your mouth went dry from stress and tried speaking but nothing came out. The man sneered at the sound of silence from you. “Answer me,” he blurted into the stiffened air.

"Spruce, she's with me," Sejanus says with a smile, though it was obvious it was a nervous one. One made to appease the gun holding man. Spruce nodded slowly and turned back to Billy Taupe. It was obvious that the answer wasn’t enough for him but he was willing to take it for now.

Your mind finally recognized the name. Spruce. Billy Taupe had had relations with him while he was dating Lucy Gray, occasionally having Spruce follow him around the Hob while he wasn’t on stage with her.

"You know for a fact she won't know about us leaving for the cabin?" Spruce asks and raises his brow. You look between the men, wondering who he was talking about. Billy Taupe nodded.

"Lucy Gray? Yeah, she doesn't know a thing. I haven't spoken to her since that fight happened," Billy Taupe answered plainly. Oh, that's who he was talking about. Lucy Gray. You pressed your lips into a line.

You cross your arms and look over at Sejanus, who made a bit of a deal to not look over at you. You narrow your eyes as you pause to think about what to say, almost like a parent would a child that did something they weren’t supposed to.

“Sejanus, come here please,” you said, motioning for him. Which he did willingly. You paused for several seconds, putting your hands on your hips. “What are you doing?”

Sejanus almost immediately answered you. “I’m doing a good thing,” he justified. You narrowed your eyes, which you were surprised you could do again, and you gave him a slightly angered look. With your gaze, he tried again. “I’m helping Lil get out of prison, we’re gonna take her up north and live out there for a while.”

Your eyes widen at the idea and look at the other men in the room, going to Coriolanus. “They’re all helping you?” You ask, motioning to the others in the room.

It was almost instantaneous the way he nodded but paused on Coriolanus. “Billy Taupe and Spruce are, Corio isn’t a part of this,” Sejanus answered. You raised your brow as you thought about his answer.

“Sejanus, you’re going to get killed,” you state plainly. It was true, he wouldn’t survive this at all. The peacekeepers would find him far before he could even step near Lil’s cell. They would find Spruce quickly since he wouldn’t be able to hide forever. And it wasn’t like Billy Taupe wasn’t a loud mouth in his own right, he’d probably get drunk and become too prideful in helping them and get hung.

“I won’t get killed, I promise you,” Sejanus assured and looked back at Spruce, who stared at the both of you with suspicion. “I can see if we can bring you along to the lake house.”

With that, he turned back to the others in the room. You press your lips together in silent anger. You knew it was difficult getting through to Sejanus sometimes but you never realized how difficult it truly was. 

You hesitated to call him back, wondering if giving him a talking was even an option at this point. But you stayed silent.

Sejanus turned back to Spruce, reaching into his pocket and finding a large folded piece of paper in his hand. “I was able to grab one of the maps of the prison,” Sejanus said, hoping to clear the air of awkwardness.

Spruce took the map quickly, putting the gun down on one of the instrument cases in front of him. He unfolded it carefully but with an obvious intensity at the sight of the object. He grinned at the markings on the page. The thin lining of Sejanus’ pens showed where the guards would move each night, their original posts, and Lil’s prison cell.

It finally hit you how long Sejanus had been planning this escape route. It was months ago that Lil’s love died but it took only a couple months to figure out how the posts changed, where they were, and where Lil was kept.

“Billy Taupe!” A shrill voice called from the back door leading to the room, the sound of clicking heels followed quickly. “Billy Taupe, I have been calling you all day, where the hell have you been?”

You stood awkwardly in the group, watching as she went to his side, side eyeing the group. Her gaze found you but barely any malice was found behind them, at least there wasn’t as much hatred compared to how she felt about Lucy Gray.

Spruce groaned with annoyance, but didn’t decide to point the gun at her. He knew better than doing such a thing to Mayfair of all people. Everyone knew she would screech louder than a Jabberjay if someone threatened her.

Mayfair paused once she saw the group, looking them over with confused hostility. “What is going on?” She asked, looking around the room until her eyes landed on her lover.

Billy Taupe scoffed and waved her off, not saying a word to answer her. Mayfair’s mind must have gone to different ideas about what could be happening, especially with the sight of the rifle.

“I told you to stop hanging out with them,” Mayfair sneered and grabbed Billy Taupe’s hand to pull him away. He pulled away from her and gave her a dirty look.

“It doesn’t contain you,” he spat and gave her a crude look. “You shouldn’t even be here for this. This never included you.”

“What time do the peacekeepers change stations?” Billy Taupe asked Sejanus, his eyebrows knit together with annoyance originally towards Mayfair.

“They said 12:30 AM, they change officer’s every six hours,” Sejanus answered quickly, pointing down at the map with ease, motioning to a specific area of the building, a smaller cell. You could only guess it was Lil’s.

“They get to each station in five minutes each, it doesn’t take long for them since they move quickly,” Sejanus continued, moving his finger over the page, motioning the ways the peacekeepers would move along.

“Coriolanus?” Another soft voice called as the clicks of her heels gave her away. It was Lucy Gray. Spruce instantaneously pointed the gun to her chest, causing Coriolanus to step in front of her to cover her. If he hadn’t covered her, you would have pushed her out just as fast as she had gotten in.

Lucy Gray gasped at the sight of the dark barrel of the gun, stopping in her tracks, her face going pale.

“Don’t shoot her, she didn’t do anything,” Coriolanus stated, holding his arm out to stop Spruce from shooting. Lucy Gray held onto his arm with sudden anxiousness, keeping him close like he was a shield.

It was almost like the sight of possibly death made Mayfair reconsider coming to get Billy Taupe entirely, grabbing at his arm with vigor. “Billy Taupe, we have to go. Something bad is gonna happen if you don’t,” she argued, pulling at his hand. He, almost naturally, pulled away from her.

“This never contained you and I’m not leaving. Go home if you want,” he waved her off, side eyeing her before looking back at the map.

Mayfair’s face grew to a red from a mixture of embarrassment and also anger. Maybe it was from the fact Lucy Gray would have had him gone in seconds, the sight of his ex lover having gotten to her quickly.

“I’m leaving! Billy Taupe, you better come with me because I am not allowing you to go along with them of all people!” Mayfair exclaimed, staring at him, expecting him to agree to leave with her from how much she was screaming about it.

You look away quickly from the both of them, hoping Billy Taupe hadn’t seen you staring and turning his anger to you. Lucy Gray and Coriolanus didn’t do something similar, staring at them like the couple were wild animals. At this point, they might as well be.

“I ain’t leaving with you. I said go home if you want,” Billy Taupe sneered, Mayfair grew red faced, her blush almost contrasted how bright red she became. She huffed before turning away from the group and started to quickly walk -almost run- from them.

At the sight, Spruce stepped to where she stood before, waiting a couple seconds before she made it to the stairway, and pulled the trigger.

Mayfair’s body fell to the ground with a thud, making no motion to curl into herself or try screaming. It was like Spruce knew where to hit to kill her quickly.

It seemed like several minutes passed as you tried regaining your hearing, the shotgun causing your ears to ring painfully. Once you finally came back to reality, Lucy Gray had shrieked, pulling away to hide behind Coriolanus, who was nearly as shaken as her.

Sejanus stood in horror, watching the blood from Mayfair’s wound slowly spill from the shot. His fists slowly went to the sides of his head beside his temple, his breath eventually coming out in odd puffs, mimicking a sob with no tears.

“I need to go!” Lucy Gray mutters lifelessly, almost without mind. She turned away from Coriolanus, moving to run out of the room through the door leading to the lively Hob. It was almost immediately that Billy Taupe grabbed her arm, pulling her closer.

“You’ll stay since everyone else will,” Billy Taupe exclaimed, glaring down at her with a hatred you haven’t seen in years.

“Let her go,” Coriolanus blurted out at the touch between the two, turning to Spruce and taking an aggressive step closer to the gun wrangler. Billy Taupe almost immediately pulled her to him again when she tried stepping away from the blood pool growing near her foot.

“I’m not letting her go if she can sell us out!” He exclaimed. Lucy Gray pulled at her arm again, just far enough for her wrist to only be in his grasp.

At the sight, Coriolanus grabs the gun from Spruce violently, pointing it at Billy Taupe and firing a second shot of the night. Again, the ringing in your ears followed, leaving you partially deaf from the violent noise.

Lucy Gray pulled her arm away when Billy Taupe’s hand loosened, his body falling to the ground. You took several steps back, taking a step toward the door. It was almost immediately that Lucy Gray ran to Coriolanus’ arms, pulled tightly into his chest.

Spruce stared down at Billy Taupe, the deaths having been enough for him tonight to grab the guns and leave. He didn’t say a word as he grabbed the bag of artillery, turned to the stairwell's direction and ran past the blood-soaked bodies.

Coriolanus watched Spruce run out the room and out the back door. Lucy Gray tried stopping herself from sobbing from anxiety and fear, her forehead against his. He was quick to whisper something to her, barely audible over Sejanus’ sudden scream from the sight.

Whatever her love had said caused Lucy Gray to run to the door, hoping to leave. But she grabbed your hand. “(Y/n), please don’t stay here,” she whispered to you with anxious tears in her eyes. “They’ll find you if you don’t run too.”

You gazed at her for several seconds before Coriolanus grabbed her shoulder and pulled her with him, giving you one last look. It was a mix of discomfort and anger that you couldn’t understand why he felt. The second emotion is the most confusing. But nonetheless, you stay silent as the door closes behind the couple.

You take deep breaths, hoping the bloody mess and violent night wouldn’t cause you to cry so suddenly. As little as you liked Billy Taupe, part of you still felt disturbed at the sight. You knew him for so long that you couldn’t help being a little grief stricken.

You push that idea into the back of mind and turn to Sejanus, who had fallen into loud sobs from panic.

“Sejanus, listen to me,” you say suddenly, turning to the sobbing man. His breath came out in sudden coughs and hiccups, his sobs growing quick as he mumbled.

Sejanus held his balled fists against the sides of his head, muttering continuously to himself. “This wasn’t supposed to happen, no one was supposed to get hurt,” he whispered.

“It’s going to be fine; everything is fine!” You say quickly trying to calm yourself and him down. You took his hands into yours, hoping the contact would calm him. But it didn’t even help you, your hands still shook from nerves from the sudden deaths.

“No, no! They’re going to find us!” He sobbed again, trying to pull away. It was almost like your words from earlier finally struck him, the gravity of the situation setting in once Mayfair and Billy Taupe were dead.

“Sejanus, look at me,” you exclaim and turn his head to look at you. His reddened eyes looked down at you with fear, sniffles following his sobs. His lips had gone back in a grief filled sneer, showing his teeth as he tried pulling back from you.

He tried staying still and fearless for what you needed to say but his body trembling in your hands was obvious. “Everything is going to be fine,” you hesitate to speak again, and you didn’t know how much of that was true.

The peacekeepers were unnecessarily willing to become violent, the blood they were willing to stain their hands with might as well be medals in their eyes. If they found anyone that had been in the room now or earlier, who knows what could happen to anyone. Maybe their eyes would be lost first so they could never see their lovers or their teeth to never speak to them again. You pushed the idea away hastily.

The iron smell of Mayfair and Billy Taupe’s blood seemed to scare Sejanus more than anything, their bodies always there, even if he couldn’t see it. “I’ll take care of you, and we’ll leave,” you suggested. Sejanus sat on the chair at the desk behind him. Sobbing into his hands.

The way he sobbed grew painful to hear, it was like he was trying to cry hard enough his throat would never recover. And that’s what a surprising amount of people did. But you didn’t want Sejanus to be one of those people that fell into such a deep pit of despair in haste.

“We’ll leave for the lake house, and they’ll never find us,” you assure, as if it would actually happen. He hesitantly reached up to grab onto your clothes, bring you against him and resting his head against your shoulder, sobbing with surprising aggression.

You tense at the sudden touch, slowly relaxing as his cries were muffled by the cloth covering your skin. Your hands gently touched Sejanus’ upper back, feeling his shoulders rise and fall with sudden vigour every couple seconds.

“I don’t want to die,” Sejanus mumbled, his hands almost clawing at your back from grief. You nod and gently pet the back of his head.

“You won’t. We won’t,” you say again. Part of that pledge meant to keep you sane. You knew so little about things like this, events like this, and only time could tell the future.

Sejanus’ breath calmed slightly when you brought yourself to speak again.

“I can’t do much when you have to go back to base, alright?” You state and hold his head to your chest, keeping him against you. Sejanus’ hands had gone to your back, grasping the fabric of your clothes with horrid desperation. “I can take you home but you’re on your own after that.”

Sejanus’ nose peeked over your shoulder; the tip of his reddened nose was almost as bright as his teary eyes. You slowly pulled him from your shoulder, looking him in the eye. “We have to go. There’s only so much time we have until people will see us,” you whisper to him, pulling him to his feet.

He reluctantly followed you as you carefully stepped around the bloody puddles from the lovers' bodies. You held your breath as you slowly walked past them, feeling like if you left out one single breath meant they would grab you or come back to life.

Sejanus did something similar, refusing to look at the corpses. You, on the other hand, caught a glimpse of Mayfair. The skin in her hands had grown pale, the only reason the red in her cheeks hadn’t left was because of the blush put on earlier that day.

Your eyes went back to the stairway, keeping your mind on where you should be going and not what is making you leave. The aggressive scent of iron filled your nose, reminding you that they were there no matter if you didn’t think or see them. They were there no matter what.

Sejanus was the first to go up the stairs, the tapping of his shoes filled the silence as he stepped into the dark hall. You took one last look at the orange lit room, holding your friends' belongings. The long shadows of the Covey’s instrument cases reminded you they’d eventually find the bodies; Lucy Gray can only hold them away from the room for so long before they have to get their things.

“(Y/n)?” Sejanus called from the doorway. Your mind went blank and looked back up at him, the dark night outside drew his figure down the steps. You don’t say anything as you follow him up.

The deep blue night hung over you both like a satin sheet, the stars unable to be seen with the -almost orange- street lights shining down on you. Sejanus’ sniffling was still audible from him. His trembling still found in your hand holding his. You trembled too, out of fear, sadness, and hope oddly enough. You wouldn’t allow Sejanus’ spirit to follow Mayfair and Billy Taupe so soon. No, you’d find a way to take him home, no matter if that wasn’t a home he had ever been to.

The darkness enclosed you both, the only thing bringing his figure to your eyes was the orange lamp light, shining long shadows behind you as you walked. Eventually, you sat on a nearby bench, making him sit to calm down again.

His breath slowed to a normal pace, occasionally stopped by sniffles. Your hand was still on his head, held against your shoulder. Of course, you couldn’t be sure the peacekeepers wouldn’t find you.

A final kiss was placed against Sejanus’ temple, his body loosening in your arms, but the desperation in his hold never left your arms.

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I'm so sorry it took so long to get back to you. I kept going back and forth on what I should have written since I couldn't think of anything. A bit OOC, again, so sorry. My tbosas masterlist

[asira-mizery]

Trepidations of a District Boy (Sejanus/Marcus + OC)

***NOTE: this short drabble is apart of a longer fic i'm writing on ao3 that isn't centered on this ship (marcus/sejanus) but they've taken me by storm and I just had to write something. i'll probably write more for them cause tragic gay angst always gets to me. In this AU Topaz is Lucy Gray's daughter who he helps raise as his own.

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Sejanus Plinth had only ever fallen in love twice in his life.

The first being a curly haired, brown skinned, wide eyed classmate named Demeter Hilderbilt. She was only a year younger but had excelled in her studies enough to join his grade. She was loud, always angry, and picked more fights with Festus Creed than one could count on their fingers.

It was no surprise that her father, a high-end Councilman and military strategist named Jupiter Hilderbilt, was abhorrently hateful of his family. To the point that he’d instructed his daughter to not go near the Plinth boy. Even the instructors at the academy had been advised to not pair them up for assignments or otherwise Jupiter would pull his funding from the school.

It was an interesting dilemma seeing as how most of the man’s hatred was directed towards his father, and in turn being his father’s son that was close to his daughter had redirected that anger. So, it was a turn of surprise when Jupiter’s wife, Hestia, had extended a hand to his mother. Offering companionship and another ear in the city as most Capitolite women had ignored his mother’s existence. Holding out her arm during events despite the lackluster expressions from the masses.

Her daughter was relentless.

It wasn’t that she pursued him simply for romantic interests as she first put it, but because he seemed to be one of the few people with his head screwed on. And that even if he didn’t like her romantically, that his friendship would be appreciated. A friend who disliked the games was always appreciated.

But in truth, Sejanus could never be her friend.

Not when her father had eyes all over the city, and one wrong move could break the balance of things.

Coriolanus Snow was his only friend, and one that he could be by his side despite all odds.

But still she pursued.

On the eve of new year’s, in the corner where eyes couldn’t roam, Demeter walked up to him and planted a kiss on his cheek.

It was the first kiss he’d received from someone other than his mother, and perhaps it was his curious mind that led him to return the kiss in full.

They weren’t friends, and they could never be friends.

But their kisses continued in the dark corners.

Their words flowed like honey and rivers.

“My grandfather was from the districts. So, I don’t know if that’s why I can’t stand the games. I don’t know…I just feel like collective punishment is immoral. None of them deserve to be displayed like animals for crimes they never committed.” She’d told him one afternoon.

“Collective punishment is immoral. It’s a tactic used to assert control. When those with no power see that they can be killed despite having done no wrong, they can only ever resist or submit themselves. So, you’re right. I just wish everyone else could see it that way.” Sejanus responded, watching as she twirled a blade of grass between her fingers.  

They could never be friends, but she was always there in front of him. With her melancholic smile and her loud words. Her soft kisses and bruised hands. It was then, when one day after their escapades of teenage glory, that Sejanus realized his heart had grown. Finding himself smiling whenever she started her rants early in the morning. Sneaking around with her to explore things he could never utter to a single soul (or else her father would punish her greatly, which meant not even Coriolanus could know).

But they could never be friends, much less what Demeter had truly aspired for them to be. And Sejanus saw the betrayal in her eyes when he told her that.

Afterwards, when she tried hiding her tear-stained cheeks, Sejanus felt too ashamed to even look her way.

.

.

The second was Marcus Alcove.

Marcus Alcove wasn’t someone Sejanus ever thought could throw him off track the way he did.

It was a cruel twist of fate, he figured. The Academy staff probably laughed as they paired him with his old classmate. ‘The boy from 2 ought to mentor one of his own.’ Or most likely it was his father who’d bribed them into giving him the boy from District 2, to set his mind straight. Furthering the gap between him and his birthplace. A grand showcase to the people of 2 that the Plinth’s were never on their level. He felt his stomach lurch the moment Dean Highbottom called it out.

“District 2 Male Tribute, Marcus Alcove – Sejanus Plinth.”

Snickers from his classmates echoed across the room, laughing at the twisted fate of the district-born boy. But for which boy he wondered; maybe it was both. Of course it was both.

There wasn’t much he remembered about Marcus, except for a vivid memory that was etched into his brain before he could comprehend the horrors of what was to come next.

“You like apples, right?” A young 6-year-old Marcus asked, rubbing his snotty nose against his sleeve.

“I do! Especially red ones!” Sejanus grins, his front tooth missing but nonetheless continued to gnaw on hardened fruits.

Marcus pulls out a small paper bag, his tiny fingers grabbing onto a few apple slices and handed them over.

“Here, my Ma said I should share them with you.” Marcus smiled as Sejanus plucked the slices from his hand.

“Thanks!”

“Yeah. She asked if I wanted strawberries but they’re too sour.” Marcus bit into the apple slice, snot still sliding down.

Sejanus nods, “Same here.” That was a lie. Sejanus loved strawberries! So why did he lie?

The gap between them was large, and it only grew as Marcus continued to shovel his distrust towards him. Sejanus couldn’t blame the boy. Despite being born in 2, his old home saw him as a newly born pure-bred Capitol. A bloodthirsty Capitolite whose father betrayed them and sold weapons to the Capitol.

Whose father had set up a prize to excite the mentors into gaining a victor for the games; to bring out the most nauseating, abhorrent ideas one could conjure up to make the games more enticing.

Whose money from the weapons sold to kill their own people bought the clothes he wore. The watches on his wrist. No longer was Sejanus Plinth one of their own. He lost that right the moment he left.

“My goodness, Sejanus Plinth.” Marcus laughed coldly when they locked eyes for the time in over a decade, “Still alive and it looks like the Capitol is treating you well, huh? Fancy new suit you got there.”

But Sejanus persisted. He’d been forced into this position, the very least he could do was make sure they weren’t being starved to death.

Out of ill refute, Marcus revealed that he still liked apples.

Sejanus brought him apple turnovers the next day. He watched as Marcus stared at the turnover, fingers gripping onto the pastry so harshly that it began to break apart, before throwing it onto the ground and spitting on it.

Truthfully, he had no idea why he was so desperate to gain Marcus’s favor, knowing that it would never happen. His family had betrayed him. Had betrayed their people.

Was it his darkened brown eyes? So deep that Sejanus felt as though he could lose himself in them.

The flow of his hair?

The curve of his lips?

The witty remarks?

The fact that Marcus’s words clung to him so deeply, on a level that had Sejanus unable to sleep for most nights.

“I don’t want your food, pretty boy.”

“But you’ll need strength for the arena!” Sejanus argued, desperate to get the boy to accept his Ma’s sandwiches.

Marcus’s face shrivels up, “Why? Feeding me like an animal before the slaughter, Plinth? You take joy out of feeding us mere crumbs only to see our bloods spilled like savages, just like your daddy?” Despite his eyes being brown, there was a flaring red that blazed inside of them. The pits of his eyes were as dark as the abyss, pulling Sejanus even further in.

“I—”

“Quit pretending you care about me.” Marcus hisses, “You’re just like everyone else in this fucking place. Being nice doesn’t change the fact that our blood funds your new home, Plinth. Funds the fancy new clothes you wear. So, take your sandwiches and shove them up your ass.”

Sejanus was grateful Coriolanus had helped him pass out the rest of the sandwiches, but even then, as he saw the tributes take bites – Marcus’s words never left his mind. Like an echo that never seemed to fade away.

Marcus was handsome. No if ands or buts about it. He had the type of gentlemanly look that Sejanus couldn’t stop staring at. Why couldn’t he stop looking at Marcus? Was it normal to think about another guy so much? Many people had brown eyes and hair! But of course, one could admire another guy’s good looks! But would he be as bad as the decrepit men who snickered over district girls with sinister thoughts?

Marcus looked rough but his words were harsher.

Yet he was just as funny as he was from their youth.

To other tributes, however.

Sure, Sejanus was living in the Capitol – but they saw him as district. Why couldn’t Marcus still see him as such? Why couldn’t Marcus tell him such jokes like he once did? (He knew why, he knew exactly why. The illogical part of his brain just refused to admit it).

Why was he so agitated over Marcus leaning against another boy’s shoulders for rest? They were all tributes headed for the same fate except for a singular one. Of course they’d lean on each other for support before being forced to tear each other’s throats off!

“You’ve always been cute, but if you ever tell anyone I said that I’ll crawl out of my grave and drag you down with me.” Marcus spat at him before the interview with Lucky Flickerman.

Sejanus felt his heart race – the same way it did with Demeter.

He shouldn’t be having these feelings.

He shouldn’t have been sitting across from his father during dinner with flashes of Marcus’s eyes gazing up at him in his head.

NO!

He didn’t deserve to harbor such feelings when the very lifestyle he was living was sending his old classmate to his imminent doom. When his own father was orchestrating a competition to make the boy’s demise much more favorable to elite citizens of the Capitol. Sending their own people to die. Guilt clung to Sejanus like a second skin. He could barely hold down his food, much less shove it down his throat. Water turned to ash as it hit his tongue. And right before the games started, in the dark corners of the room, Marcus turned around brushed his lips against his.

It came out of nowhere, almost knocking Sejanus off his feet.

It was electrifying. Sending goosebumps down his back as the boy leaned in, the smell of musk ever so persistent. His lips were riddled with dirt and blood, and his eyes were pooled with such intensity Sejanus felt like he would drown. The kiss bruised his lips, but he wanted more.

“You know, I liked you back then. But you’d already left before I could tell you that.”

“It was nice knowing you, pretty boy.” Marcus whispered in his ears before turning around to leave.

And later, when his eyes flickered to see Marcus’s body on the floor, unmoving – Sejanus felt as though his very soul had been ripped out and shoved into the deepest pits of purgatory. He didn’t think when his legs walked out of his house. He didn’t think when he grabbed the bag of breadcrumbs. He didn’t think when he walked right into the arena and looked onto the boy’s lifeless body. He knelt down, rage clawing at his chest, and began to sprinkle the crumbs over Marcus’s body.

If Marcus couldn’t get peace in this world, he surely deserved it in the next.

And when he was saved by Coriolanus, he figured if no one else was left at least he had him. He had his brother. His best friend. He would one day tell Coriolanus of what exactly unfolded, and surely Coryo would understand.

(Though there was always an underlying fear that even Coriolanus wouldn’t understand a boy liking another boy, and even a girl. It wasn’t as if such things were talked about publicly. Always hidden, always hushed.)

And after his father yelled at him with such indignation that he swore the cabinets shook, Sejanus ran to the bathroom – the gush of bile coming out of his throat. It burned as he emptied the contents of his stomach. He stared at the vomit, feeling his ears ringing. Sejanus then locked the doors to his bedroom and shoved his face into the blood-soaked pillows.

He wasn’t a crier.

Sejanus wasn’t a crier, even when the kids bullied at school. His father instilled in him that men never cried. Even in the face of agony. So, Sejanus promised his father, at the mere age of 10, that he would never cry.

Yet that night, Sejanus broke the first promise he ever made to his father, and cried until he could no longer. Until his tears dried on his cheeks and his voice was so hoarse that a meager ‘Ma’ hurt his throat. Until his blood-soaked pillows were now soaked with tears. He howled into it, feeling every fiber of his being ripping apart. It was a primal yell, one that left him banging his fists into the cushy mattress.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” But what good was saying I’m sorry if they were already dead? If his actions had done nothing? He’d just sent his former classmate to die, and he had the audacity to cry?

And when the altercation with the rebels occurred, and the one man he deemed a brother – a true friend- his only final friend- his best friend shot at him: Sejanus could only think of his Ma. How far out of reach she was and how he would do anything to hold her one last time. And later, when the reality of the situation clarified, he thought of Marcus and Demeter as the sound of bullets continued to ring in his ear.

There was regret.

Regret he never befriended Demeter.

Regret that he couldn’t save Marcus. That he couldn’t know Marcus beyond the few measly moments granted to him by the universe in his final days. So, when Lucy Gray and Topaz had stumbled into his life, Sejanus swore he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

He would befriend Lucy Gray, and he would protect Topaz till his very last breath. Even in the face of the brother who had betrayed him.

So, Sejanus takes his daughter’s arm, dressed in finely pressed clothing his Ma had picked out for them, and they head off.

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Justice for my man sejanus 😭😭😭 omg I do have a few fics planned solely on him but because it’s Ramadan rn I can’t really post them lol. I’d appreciate any ideas or requests tho! I’ll just store in my inbox till the month is over! 😎

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Sejanus brainrot is getting really bad……I don’t know if I should be sad more people don’t love him or happy to perceive him in a small community 😭

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My goodness I feel myself short-circuiting.

somebody said “turning his head to the side and making out w him while i sit behind him and jerk him off 😵‍💫😮‍💨😮‍💨” is sejanus coded and I need somebody to write this 🙏🙏

god i love this thought so much. it’s so short so i apologize!

nsfw | mdni | sej x reader | a hint of overstimulation

“you’re doing so good for me,” you murmured in sej’s ear as you jerked him off from behind. you were both sat on your bed, your back against the headboard as sej was leaning against you with his head resting on your shoulder. your hand was moving up and down his length, jerking him off rhythmically.

sejanus moaned, turning his head to look at you. “feels so good,” he said. you smiled at him, using your other hand to bring two fingers underneath his chin. you lifted his head slightly to capture his lips with yours. sejanus kissed you back immediately, his whines and moans escaping into your mouth as you continued pumping his cock.

it didn’t take long for sejanus to buck his hips and his cock to stiffen in your hand, releasing his seed into your palm. he was whining as you jerked him off through his orgasm, still kissing his soft lips. you didn’t stop jerking him off, continuing his movements. sejanus pulled away from the kiss, writhing in your arms as you continued pumping his cock.

“is too much,” he whined, licking his lips as he eyes were closed. and even though he was over sensitive, he was fucking your fist.

“you can do it, baby,” you murmured. “you can give me another one.”

and sejanus most definitely gave you another one.

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people are calling what happened today in gaza “the flour massacre”

the flour massacre

these people just wanted to get food for their families, something as basic as flour, one of the things that the very core of humanity is built on, and israel used it as a trap to murder them in cold blood

evil is not enough of a word. there is not a word to describe what they are doing to palestine. they are bleeding her out, they are torturing her and crushing her and hoping that nothing is left to remember her by when they are done. how can anyone stand and watch what is being done with indifference? how can you watch this level of human suffering, this crime against life and feel nothing, do nothing

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Ik the tbosas fandom has died down but dw imma keep the spark going for as long as I can. I have a plethora of HCs and snippets I wanna air out lmaooo

[asira-mizery]

Heyyyyyyy.