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asilentandkindersea · 7 months ago

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the way i smiled at the ending, i like the fact that i took at least half a years for them the be okay again, it wasn’t fast and i love that so bad

Healing

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader

This one went in a different direction than originally planned ngl. There isn't a lot of smut but I like how I ended it...

The final part of the Six Month universe Part 1 - Six Months Part 2 - The Night When It Went Wrong Part 3 - The Aftermath Part 4 - Two Months

MDNI 18+

You bit the inside of your cheek, trying to hide the pleasure you felt when Carmy finally erupted inside of you. Carmy’s whimpered moans filled your ear as he nipped at your jaw the way he knew you loved. You sighed as you let your fingers run down Carmy’s toned back.

When Carmy pulled out, you felt his ejaculation ooze out of you, and regret washed over you. You should have just walked down the hall to your room and pretended you never saw him jacking off with your underwear while he watched a video of the two of you hooking up. You watched him lay next to you and catch his breath before rolling on his side to face you. You reluctantly copied the move and stared at him.

Carmy gently pushed your bangs away from your face before planting his hand on your cheek. You bit your lip, trying to hide the soft smile on your face. He grinned and took a shallow breath before admitting, “I’m going to work my ass off every day for the rest of my life to prove how sorry I am.”

You nodded in response and moved closer to him. Carmy’s hand left your face, and he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you on top of him as he rolled onto his back. “I love you, baby,” he mumbled into your shoulder as he snuggled you as closely as humanly possible. You nervously swallowed, “Carmy… I don’t think I’m there yet…” you felt his body shift below you. “O-okay.” he stuttered, “Can-n you lay with me a little longer?”

“Of course, Carm.”

“Mia, I need you to eat your breakfast,” you sternly explained as Mia threw pieces of egg on the floor. “Baby girl, come on.” You sighed as you crouched in front of her high chair before taking the fork from her hand. She wiggled, trying to get away from you as you stabbed the sliced banana in front of her. “Mia, let’s have a good morning that starts with a good breakfast.”

“Are you trying to bargain with our ten-month-old?” Carmy laughed as he stood in the kitchen doorway. You rolled your eyes and stood up, “You try. She’s bein’ so fussy this morning.” Carmy shook his head and went up to her. Mia’s hands immediately started grabbing in his direction, “I swear, I carried you for nine months. 22 hours of labor, and a c-section, only for you to love him more than me… you’re lucky you’re cute.” you playfully teased Mia before planting a kiss on her chubby cheek. Her giggles lit up the room as Carmy pulled a chair beside her, “Okay, princess, let’s eat.”

As you ate your breakfast, you watched Carmy feed Mia. Something was different about him. You leaned back against the counter and really looked at him. He wore one of his slightly too-tight T-shirts and a pair of black jeans with the same gold chain he’d worn every day. As you scanned his body, you saw it: He was wearing his wedding ring. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d seen him wear it. Something about it made you feel uneasy.

“Hey, Carmy… when you get home tonight, do you think we can talk about some stuff?” you asked as you adjusted Mia on your hip. Carmy looked at you like a deer in the headlights and hesitantly nodded as he picked up his backpack from the ground. “It’s nothing bad… just about last night and some other stuff,” you explained, hoping to alleviate some of his anxiety. Carmy nodded again and slung his bag over his shoulder. He stepped forward and kissed Mia’s head before playfully punching your arm, “Bye, girls…” he grinned before ducking out of the house for the day.

Carmy drummed his thumbs on the steering wheel of his car as he sat in traffic on his way to work. What did you want to talk about? Last night was everything he wanted. The two of you had sex for the first time in almost a year, the two of you slept in the same bed for the first time in months, and for a minute, Carmy had everything he’d wanted. He should have deleted Selena’s number when he got in the car that day. You were going to leave him; that’s what it had to be.

Throughout the day, Carmy was distracted. He was thinking about the conversation the two of you were having that night. He should prepare a speech. Should he buy you flowers? If he left early, he could stop at your favorite bakery and pick you up a sweet treat. Prep, family, and dinner service were a blur. He heard people talking to him, but none of what they said made sense; it was like he was back in school. Everything was going in one ear and out the other. He just needed to get home.

When Carmy walked into the house that night, he felt his heart rate accelerate. He quietly pushed his jacket off and stepped out of his shoes before walking back to your bedroom. You sat in bed doing something on your computer. Carmy sighed before making his presence known. He saw you sitting in the middle of the bed with your hair wrapped up in a microfiber towel, your face shiny from skin care products, and your glasses perched on the bridge of your nose. “Hey baby.” he weakly grinned as he approached the bed. You grinned at him and closed your computer, “Hey Carm.”

“Still wanna talk?” Carmy asked as he shoved his hands into his pant pockets. You patted the mattress beside you and watched as Carmy pulled his hands from his pocket and sat on the edge of the mattress. “Carmy, I want-” You were cut off by Carmy standing up and pacing the space between the bed and closet door. He pushed his hands through his hair, took a deep breath, and looked at you with his fingers still tangled in his hair. “Baby. You can’t leave me. I know I fucked up, but please give me a second chance-”

“Carmy! I wanna go to couple’s counseling.”

“I understand that you didn’t have sex with that grocery store whore, but you went to her house with the intention to. And that’s what I’m hung up on.” you calmly explained as you watched Carmy sit back on the ugly cranberry couch in the therapist's office. The two of you had been going to therapy for a little over a month at this point, and while a dialogue was created, he just didn’t understand why you couldn’t move past it.

“How does that make you feel, Carmen?” the therapist questioned as they fidgetted with a pen.

“I’m confused. You kicked me out for like two months, contemplated divorcing me, and then you let me come home and sleep with me, but you’re still ‘not there’ when I tell you I love you. We’re spending a lot of time together as a family, but when I try to hang out with just you- you get weird. Like last night, I sat next to you on the couch and you got up because you ‘had to check on a rendering video’; then you didn’t come back. You act like nothings wrong around Mia or family, but when we’re alone, it’s like you’re in a different universe. Look, I know I fucked up. I just want to know what I need to do to make it right between us. I get we can’t go back to exactly what we had, but do you even like me anymore?” Carmy looked at you while on the verge of tears.

“Y/N, is there anything you want to say?”

“Carmy, I care about you so much and value our relationship, but right now, I’m just frustrated. I would never cheat on you, and the only reason you didn’t cheat on me was because you ‘couldn’t get hard’... I just- I don’t know what I need from you right now. I really appreciate you agreeing to this, and you’re a wonderful father, but I just don’t know.” you explained as you picked at the hole in your jeans.

Carmy opened the passenger’s door for you, and you quickly slipped into his car. He walked around and slipped in the driver’s seat, “We should start planning Mia’s birthday party.” you brought up as he turned on the car. Carmy nodded in agreement as you grabbed your phone from your purse, “I have a couple of Pinterest boards for party inspo. Since she’s not gonna remember it, we don’t have to go all out, but I like the idea of doing ‘My Berry First’ birthday party since my baby shower was also kinda fruity themed-”

“You don’t like me anymore.” Carmy spat, cutting you off midsentence. “What?” Surprised by his statement, you put your phone down and looked at him. He sighed and pulled over into a 7/11 parking lot. You watched as he tilted his head back and stared at the car's roof before slowly blinking. “Baby. Do you like me? Do you actually want to spend time with me? The only thing we do together anymore is go to couples counseling. You never want to go out to dinner or run errands together- the only time I fuckin’ see you is when we’re doing something with Mia. You say you love me and want to reconcile, but you don’t like me.” Carmy rubbed the back of his neck before glancing in your direction.

You’d turned in your seat, bringing your left leg up to the seat awkwardly sitting on it, “Carmen… I just- I don’t know. I like you, and I love our family, but it’s just hard.” you began to explain. “Listen, Carmen, I don’t want to divorce you. There’s just this tension- I don’t know how to explain it to you. I look at you and see the man I’ve been with for, like, what, seven years? But then I start thinking about you and that fucking whore. I think about how you didn’t tell her you were married. I think about her kissing you and touching you- it makes me wanna fuckin’ puke.”

You took a deep breath before continuing, “Carmy, I like you. I’m just- not there yet….”

“Hey, I’m gonna go to bed,” you said, poking your head into the living room. Carmy nodded without looking up at you, “Night.” he said as he flipped to a different channel on the TV. You stood against the doorway and watched as he stared at the screen lifelessly. With a sigh, you walked into the living room and stood beside Carmy. He was unphased; you needed to up the antics. You stepped closer and swiftly straddled Carmy’s hips, which thankfully got his attention. Carmy swallowed when you put a hand on his collarbone, “Hey.” you halfheartedly grinned.

Carmy took swallow breaths as he stared up at you. He allowed himself to rest his palms on your hips before fanning his fingers out to grab the fat of your ass, “I’m not really in the mood, baby.”

You rolled your eyes and playfully hit him, “I swear Carmy… I like you. If I didn’t, I woulda never come up to you at that bar. I wouldn’t have agreed to be exclusive. I wouldn’t have moved into that shitty apartment you had. I wouldn’t have given up that job opportunity in California. I wouldn’t have married you or had your baby. I like you as a person, partner, father to my child…. Let’s spend some time together.”

You rubbed your lips together after applying a layer of pink-tinted lip oil. Your hair and makeup were as good as it was going to get. After slipping on a red barely long enough to cover your butt dress and a pair of black platform boots, you stared at yourself in the mirror. You smoothed down the bottom of your dress and grabbed a slightly oversized light-wash denim jacket along with your bag, “Let’s fuckin go.” you said as you walked out of the bedroom.

Carmy was in the kitchen with Mia on his hip. She had a fist full of his tank top in one hand and one of her stuffed animals in the other. When he heard the dryer go off, Carmy gently put her down, “Race ya?” he asked, hoping to tire her out enough for Donna to keep up with her. Mia plopped on the floor and stared up at him, disinterested in doing anything to make his morning easier. Carmy laughed and walked to the laundry room just off the kitchen. He grabbed a short-sleeved button-up shirt and slipped it on before throwing the rest of the clean clothes in a laundry basket. He felt nervous. It was silly, though- it’s not like he’d never had a date with you. He took a deep breath and returned to the kitchen to see Mia playing with Tupperware; he shook his head and swiftly scooped her off the floor. Mia dropped the container on the floor and grabbed at Carmy’s ear.

“You look pretty,” Carmy said as you sat in the passenger’s seat of his car after strapping Mia into her car seat. You smiled and pushed your bangs back, “You noticed…” you teased. Carmy chuckled as started backing out of the driveway. He put his right hand against your seat as he looked over his shoulder. You held your breath when you noticed his jugular bulge from his neck.

You were looking out the window when you felt Carmy reach over to your lap, you glance down to see him intertwine his fingers with yours. A blush came to your cheeks as he squeezed your hand softly, you bit your lip and rubbed your index finger between his knuckles.

Dropping Mia off at Donna’s always made you nervous; she’d changed since Natalie had started having kids, but you were haunted by her drunken rants criticizing Carmy for being with you and how you must have only been after his money. You laughed to yourself as you watched Carmy walk Mia into the house. She grabbed in your direction, her adorable little smile shining past the shield of her pacifier. You waved back before Carmy entered the house.

He came back to the car and pulled his phone out of his pocket to connect to the car’s bluetooth, “Where are we going on our date afternoon?” you asked as you nudged his shoulder. Carmy grinned at his phone as he scrolled through his Spotify playlist looking for a song to play, “If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise.” he hit play on his phone and pulled away from the curb.

A couple of donuts and a walk through the park led you and Carmy to a secluded bench by a pond. “Have we brought Mia here?” you asked, unsure of the familiarity of your surroundings. Carmy nodded, “Sorta—you were pregnant with her.”

You smiled and scooted closer to him, snaking an arm around his waist. Carmy smiled and threw an arm over your shoulders. “It’s weird. We have a one-year-old. It feels like I was pregnant with her yesterday.”

“It is. If you could change anything—aside from the obvious—what would you pick?” Carmy asked into your hair as he kissed the top of your head. You thought momentarily, “Well, besides the obvious, I don’t think I’d change anything. We have a pretty cool kid.”

Carmy rubbed your bicep as the two of you watched ducks swim in the pond. Carmy brought his free hand to your chin, pushed it up with his index finger, and brought his lips down to yours. Before the two of you could kiss, he softly whispered, “Can I kiss you, baby?”

Instead of answering, you pressed your lips to his. He kissed back immediately and pulled you closer to him. You cupped his face in your hands as Carmy pulled you onto his lap; your stomach fluttered as Carmy’s grip tightened. As you separated your lips to allow your tongue to slip into Carmy’s mouth, you felt his phone vibrate against your hip. Carmy wanted to ignore the call and risk getting caught for indecent exposure, but when you reluctantly pulled away, he fished his phone out of his pocket and saw Donna’s name flashing across the screen. “Looks like Grandma Donna is at her Mia limit.” he chuckled and answered to have his assumptions confirmed by an overwhelmed Donna and a crying Mia in the background.

You got up from Carmy’s lap and smoothed down the back of your dress. He swallowed when he saw a peak of your butt cheek as you stood up. “We’re on our way, Ma.” he quickly said into the phone, cutting Donna off mid-sentence before hanging up.

“We can pick up where we left off later,” you say, biting your lip. Taking Carmy’s hand in yours, you trek back to the car and retrieve an overstimulated Mia from Grandma Donna’s house. By the time the two of you had gotten her to calm down and eat, the mood was gone, but Carmy had promised to make it up to you the following weekend.

“Dam, I thought the view from behind was good, but it’s even better up here.” some Andrew Tate-looking man greeted you. You internally cringed as you noticed how he looked at you like a piece of meat. You rolled your eyes and waited for the bartender to finish the drinks you’d ordered. “Can’t even get a hello?” the man questioned you, stepping forward. You scoffed, “I don’t owe you shit- maybe my husband’ll say hello to you.”

“I don’t see a husband anywhere. Don’t play so hard to get a sexy girl. Why don’t you come back to my booth?” His slimy offer disgusted you. You shook your head and slipped the bartender a $20 before taking your drinks back to the small window table you and Carmy had been sitting at. Carmy was outside on the phone dealing with some issue down at the restaurant; he shot you an apologetic smile.

While Carmy was wrapping up his phone call, the man from the bar strode up to the table to convince you to go back to his booth. You weren’t having any of it. “Where’s that husband of yours?” he questioned, sitting where Carmy had been moments prior. You gestured outside; Carmy had his back to the window as he listened to Richie’s nonsensical problem.

“That guy? The one on the phone who’s not even looking at you? I don’t believe you, sweetheart.” he purred as he relaxed into the chair opposite of you. You rolled your eyes and held your left hand up, you wiggled your ring finger; “Say that to the ring on my finger.”

“Come on, baby girl. I just bought a bottle of 925 Diamante Ley. Do one shot with me, and then you can decide if you want to come back to your ‘husband’ or not.” as he reached out to touch your bicep, Carmy cleared his throat. You looked up at him, immediately relieved. The guy looked over his shoulder, and Carmy glared at him, “Get a fuckin’ clue asshole. This is my wife and the mother of my child. Fuck off before I need to make you fuck off.”

The man looked Carmy up and down before shifting his attention back to you, “Oh hell fuckin’ no. Don’t need that nasty stretched out-” he was cut off by Carmy shoving the guy out of his chair. “Don’t fuckin’ dare finish that dam sentence. She’s a fuckin’ angel, and you should even be allowed in the same room as her.” Carmy spat as the guy stumbled back to his feet. “Yeah, whatever, man- she’s not even that hot.” he scoffed as he pushed past Carmy. You reached out to grab Carmy’s hand as the man walked out of earshot, “He’s not worth it, Carm.” you spoke softly as you squeezed his hand in yours, “Can we just get out of here?”

Carmy looked back at you, nodded, and pulled you to his side. As the two of you walked out of the bar, you couldn’t help but notice the scuzzball trying to get another table of girls to come back to his booth. You rolled your eyes and wrapped an arm around Carmy’s waist as he directed the two of you back to the car, “Fuck that dude.” Carmy mumbled as he closed your door after you’d gotten into the passenger’s side.

“You know your pussy isn’t ‘stretched out’ or ‘nasty’ right?” Carmy asked, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen over the two of you on the drive home. You nodded, “I know Carmy.”

When Carmy parked in the driveway, he turned his head to look at you. He put a hand on your thigh and squeezed gently. You placed your hand on his and sighed softly before asking, “Do you wanna take a shower with me?”

Carmy laughed, “Baby, if I ever say no to that question, have me committed.” You rolled your eyes and opened the car door. As you walked to the front door, Carmy was hot on your heels. Before you could open the door, Carmy wrapped his arms around your waist. You put your head back against his shoulder, “Pay the sitter… I’ll start the shower.”

Carmy nodded and kissed your cheek before dropping his arms, allowing you to open the front door. You quickly walked down the hall, quickly poking your head into Mia’s bedroom before heading back into the master bedroom. Carmy stared at your ass as you walked away. He sucked in a breath and went into the kitchen to see the babysitter sitting at the kitchen island reading out of a beat-up history book, “Hi, Mr.Berzatto. Mia was a little fussy, but I got her down.” she began to explain. Carmy nodded, not really absorbing anything she’d said. He reached into his pocket and pulled his phone out to Venmo her for the night. “Thanks, kid- Y/N or I’ll call you next time we need you.”

You stood in the bathroom in your underwear, waiting for the shower to heat up and for Carmy to join you. Carmy locked the front door and grabbed the baby monitor from the kitchen counter before barreling down the hallway. When he got to the door to the master bedroom, he took a breath and slowed down so he wouldn’t come off as overly desperate. Walking into the bedroom, he put the baby monitor on your dresser before kicking his shoes off and stripping to his underwear. As he walked to the askew bathroom door, he ran his tongue over his teeth when he noticed you looking at your reflection in the mirror. He noticed you pulling at the skin on your stomach with a frown. Carmy huffed and softly opened the door more. You looked over at him as he stepped further into the bathroom. His hands found your hips and lifted you onto the counter, “So fuckin’ sexy, baby…” Carmy muttered as his lips crashed onto yours. You were taken by surprise but allowed Carmy to wedge himself between your thighs as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Carm- showers on…” you manage to get out after pushing his chest away from you. Begrudgingly, he stepped away and pulled the shower curtain open. “Oh god, you’re trying to boil us alive.” Carmy laughed as he pulled his hand away from the water. You rolled your eyes before hopping off the counter. After removing your bra and underwear you stepped into the shower. Carmy pushed his boxers down and joined you after turning the heat down.

“Can you sleep in here Carmy?” Carmy’s heart stopped as the words left your mouth. He nodded softly trying his hardest to not come off as desperate. You saw through it immediately and playfully nudged his shoulder as you walked past him into the bedroom. Carmy looked in the mirror and pushed his wet hair back with his hands, a goofy grin was plastered on his face at the realization that he’d managed to get back on your good side.

When Carmy joined you in bed you immediately scooted closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. “I missed this…” you mumbled into his chest as you snuggled closer to him. Carmy chuckled and kissed the top of your head.

“I missed this more, baby,” he responded as he pulled you onto his hips. “I love you. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but hurting you was the worst,” he said as he held you. “I’m never going to hurt you like that again.”

You nodded and pushed yourself up into a sitting position. Staring down at him, you saw the Carmy you’d fallen in love with all those years ago. “You’re not gonna get a third chance, Berzatto. Fuck up again. I’m cutting your dick off.” you threatened, much to his amusement. He shook his head, chuckling, “I won’t need a third chance, baby.”

“Good. I love you, Carmen. Don’t make me look like a fool again.”

#im healed #🍓🍓🍓

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asilentandkindersea · 7 months ago

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𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 – 𝐜. 𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐳𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐨 (𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭, +𝟏𝟖) | an oldie but a goodie. the song is nothing can change this love by sam cooke. warnings include language, carmen being scared of good things, bodily fluid (mentioned), subby!carmen, soft fdom!reader, edging, and blowjob(s), handjob(s). pretty please reblog with a thought if you liked! <3 (wc - 3.3k)

The request has his brain short-circuiting because what?

“I said dance with me, Carmen.”

The look on his face–eyes blown wide and wild, expression something close to startled–tugs your mouth into a grin.

“Dance?” His face pinches as he repeats the word that feels foreign falling off his tongue. He doesn’t dance. He’s never danced. “I don’t dance. I’ve never danced.”

You can only grin wider. Gosh, he’s cute. The way his curls fall into his face, the steam that previously soared off the pan of chicken that now sits in the oven you can thank for that. Carmen’s eyes–no. His electric, striking, bewitching orbs of Nordic stare into the depths of your very soul as you slink from your spot against the counter and ease over to him. They’re full of fascination and a little hesitancy, but he doesn’t flinch when you reach for his hands.

He glances down at the way your skin heats his. When he raises his gaze, you’re even closer. His tongue slips out to wet his bottom lip, and he quietly repeats, “I-I don’t dance, sweet thing. And the chicken, the foods in the oven, I gotta make sure it doesn’t–”

A gentle squeeze of his hard shoulder quiets him. He blows out a sigh.

“You just put it in, Bear,” you remind him, and he sighs again. “Please just indulge me for a little bit? Thirty seconds tops.”

Carmen sniffs, thinking. You take the second to start the song you’d queued up. The soft entrance of a slow, swinging piano and bass and guitar through a nearby speaker startles Carmy back into reality. His chest rises with a tight breath at the voice that fills the room, and his entire body stiffens when you politely guide him closer to you.

He focuses intently on the way your palms slide up his arms. You stop at his biceps and rub your thumbs in a calming motion.

“It’s just, I’ve never,” he tries, hands squeezing into tight fists, completely unsure. “Never done this before.”

You nod because you want him to know that you hear him.

“I know, Carm.” You keep nodding, grasp slipping to grab his stiff arms and pull them down. They take on a mind of their own, automatically settling onto your hips. “But all you have to do is sway, okay? Just sway for thirty seconds. If you don’t like it, we can stop.”

So that’s what he does. And he’s as tense as you’ve ever felt or seen him. But he indulges you. And sways for much longer than thirty seconds.

Carmy doesn’t even notice when his eyes close, forehead tilting to press into yours. His grip becomes a little more sure and the time that passes seems to seep all the rigidity of his body right out.

By the chorus of the song, the two of you are moving in an effortless sync. He’s nearly wrapped all the way around you now, body pressed against yours as the weight of him sinks against you. It isn’t until the guitar solo that he pries open his eyes, face warming when he realizes you’re already looking back.

“I like this song,” he finally mumbles, voice small. “What is it?”

“Nothing Can Change This Love,” you whisper back. “Sam Cooke. One off his ninth album, I think.”

Carmen hms with a little nod. “Sam Cooke.”

“Yeah.”

Carmen’s face lights up with a closed-mouth smile. You match him, body shaking with the huffing laugh that leaves you. When the song ends, neither of you has the strength to pull away. You stand with your arms around his neck. Only now registering that, despite the absence of any music, you’re still swaying. With Carmen leading.

“...Can, uh, can we keep dancin’? Just for a little longer?”

He doesn’t meet your gaze when he asks, eyes tilted downwards. Tightening your arms, you reach and press a long, sweet kiss on his jawline. His eyes threaten to flutter shut at the feeling.

“‘Course, Bear. What song?” You mumble against Carmen’s skin. He doesn’t answer right away, instead taking a finger under your chin and directing your mouth to his. Pausing in his dancing, the man kisses you deep, needy. He only pulls away when his lungs force him to, but only enough to shake his head.

“No song. Just you.”

The words pull forth a smile with your nod. Carmen, eyes dancing across every inch of your face, returns the smile shyly.

This time when you dance–to the muted sounds of a busy evening that pour in through a closed kitchen window, the low-frequency hum sung by the building's electrical system, and the breathing of two intertwined souls falling deeper in love–Carmen holds you even closer. Tighter, with his eyes closed once more and chin sitting atop the skin of your shoulder. You smell like him and you, a perfect mix of something familiar and something newer that makes him feel like he’s floating.

In the past, good things have always scared Carmen. They still do, as they always come along with uncertainty. Happiness, joy, enjoyment, good things never fail to backfire and leave him to deal with the unfavorable repercussions. Stuck in a place where he is forced to face the fact that he shouldn’t have good things. That he can’t have good things.

Yet, as he stands here, you in his arms and him in yours, the tranquil air of the room lowers his guard. The pleasant, happy feeling in his everywhere allows him to enjoy this. Enjoy you. Enjoy the safety you bring without any dreadful feelings trailing behind it. He’s sure they’ll come sometime later, but he doesn’t think about that now because he doesn’t need to. You’ve got him.

It’s later after a hearty dinner of chicken with vegetables and half an hour of you watching some rerun on the television while Carmen watches you, that he has enough courage gathered to bring up something that’s been on his mind.

“You, uh…” he begins, finger rubbing aimless circles into your thigh while he’s slumped against you, “you remember when we talked about that thing?”

Puffs of air pepper gently from your nose as you process the words. You turn your head to Carmen.

“What thing, baby?”

Carmen swallows, clearing his throat. He raises off you but doesn’t meet your gaze. His eyes stay trained on his hand where he squeezes your leg to steady himself.

“Uh. That thing we talked about last week? With the, uh, the stuff.”

Carmen bites his lip at your growing smile and pinched eyebrows. He even has to hold back a laugh himself because the way he’s trying to say this sounds so stupid.

“Sorry, the stuff. The… sex… stuff.”

His voice trails off into nothing as he finishes the sentence, neck reddening when he pushes out the words. He holds on bated breath when you shuffle and think.

“Oh,” you let out, voice light. Carmen finally regains the ability to breathe. “You mean the whole edging thing I asked you about?”

Carmy is nodding before you can even finish the sentence. “Yeah. Yeah, that… is-is tha–is that something you’d still be, uh, up for, I guess?”

You draw in a long exhale, eyes cemented on a fidgeting Carmen. After what feels longer than the seven seconds that pass, you give him a gentle nod.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you reassure him. “Can I ask you, though, why bring this up now, Bear? Not that I’m mad or grossed out or anything because I was the one that brought it up the first time. But what made you start thinking about it again?”

Carmen sighs and runs his fingers through his curls. He scratches the top of his head, pursing his lips before he speaks.

“When we, uh, we danced earlier? Before dinner? That was new, I’ve never really done something like that before, but it was nice. I really liked it, doing something new with you like that.”

As he continues, Carm’s voice becomes a little less wobbly. He sits up a little straighter and actually looks you in the eye.

“And it’s just, I-I feel good. I feel really good right now with you. I always feel good with you, and I think that, uh, I think that it–the sex thing–would be something I enjoy. With you. Because of how… how good you make me feel.”

A beat passes. Carmen scrunches his face. “Did that make sense?”

“Yeah, Carm. That makes perfect sense,” you smile, your hand reaching over to take his. His thumb strokes across the skin of your palm as he stares at you with an amount of love that has you shuddering. You pull your voice down to a whisper. “Thank you for telling me that.”

Carmen moves and pulls you closer. With an arm around your shoulder and lips pushing against your cheek, he whispers back, “Thank you for dancing with me. And for making me feel safe.”

“Love you, Bear.”

Carmen gifts you another kiss.

“Love you more, sweet girl.”

The sheets are soaked–with sweat or lube or something. Carmen is too far gone to know what, but he can feel them sticking to his back as he arches for a third time in the past minute. His hands–the ones he promises to keep lowered against the bed–are fisted tightly at his sides.

“Fuck,” Carmen drawls out, quivering and shaking because he’s so, so close. Teetering on a glorious, head-spinning edge, and has been for the past thirty minutes. “Fuck, sweet girl.”

You smile at the whimper that leaves Carmen’s throat. One of your hands is snug around the base of his cock, the other up near his sensitive head. His hips jerk violently when you run the pad of your thumb over and across his frenulum.

“I’m close, I’m close, I’m close,” Carmen rushes out, head back and eyes shut completely. “Shit, I’m close.”

You slow your movement, soon coming to a complete stop. Giving his shaft one last squeeze, you pull your hands away and move them to rub his clenching things. You lower yourself even further and rest your chin against his hot skin, pressing light kisses onto his sack.

“Color?”

Carmen can’t answer. Your mouth is so close to him that he can feel the air fan against his cock and it jumps at the sensation. Even with his eyes closed, he blinks and fucking barely remembers to swallow the spit collecting in his mouth. When he tries to respond, his own gasp cuts him off.

“Can’t keep going until I have a color, my love–”

“Green. Fucking green,” Carmen tells you. “And sorry. Sorry, didn’t mean to cut you off, just-just please. Please keep going. Please.”

On his last please, he lifts his head to peek down at you. You’ve got such a pretty smile and your hands are still on his thighs and jeez, he feels so good. You make him feel so good, it burns.

All of the fluids mixing on Carmen’s skin has made him slick. You run your hands up and up and up until they reach his shining sack. Your thumb and pointer finger reach to form a make-shift cock-ring, and Carmen’s stomach rises with a large inhale.

Carmen’s eyes roll back lazily in his head, mouth falling open when your palm presses back against his cock. A choked groan pours from him as you start to stroke.

You make sure to move your hand as slowly as possible, and his body ends up rising and following you when you tug upwards. You repeat the motion again. And again. And again, each time a tiny groan leaves Carmen.

Your grip is gentle as you stroke Carmen and you find yourself unable to look away from the sight in front of you. He’s writhing, muscles tense and clenching, and wants so badly to fuck up into your hands. But he doesn’t and won’t. Not until you say he can.

“Oh, my God,” Carmen whispers, “feels so good. Can’t even talk.”

“Don’t have to talk, baby,” you promise him, hand speeding ever so slightly, and Carmen nearly lets out a sob. “Just breathe for me, okay?”

Carmen forgets to nod and then forgets his name when your grip moves upwards, secured tightly around his pulsing head. You stroke, harder and faster, Carmen’s breaths turning into pants. You move deliberately, making sure the skin of your fingers doesn’t leave the top of his cock.

By this point, he’s leaking out large beads of pre-come and something in you can no longer resist.

The ah Carmen releases is loud and it startles him. He loses the fight against his hips and they surge forward when you swipe your tongue directly over the opening in his tip. He lets out another noise, something long and whining, when you envelop his entire head.

“Close,” is all he can spit out. You leave him with one last circle of your tongue before pulling off, and he whines again. Your hands still, allowing him the time he needs. After a few moments, he gives you a short nod to continue.

“Good boy.”

The words set Carmen aflame. They’re small and quiet but echo in his head like thunder. It thrusts him to the brink of his long-awaited orgasm, your resumption of kneading of his cock only pulling him closer.

“I need to cum, sweet girl. Fuck me, I need’ta come. Can I come, please?”

Your pussy, soaking and also leaking onto the sheet beneath you, clenches around nothing at the request. As you answer, you bend and glide your tongue across him once more.

“Not yet, my love.”

Carmen moans but obeys and it’s so hard. He’s so hard and your stroking and licking and moaning against him. Looking at him with those eyes that he loves to get lost in. He’s tingling all over and doesn’t even bother to hold back whatever sounds exit him anymore.

You’ve sped up even more now and he can barely take it. Carmen’s eyes fill with tears and the control he holds over himself. Dwindling second by second. He’s losing himself but it’s okay because he’s with you.

Somehow, Carmen manages to spew out broken moans between his erratic breathing.

“Please, can I come,” Carmy sobs out and he can feel the actual tears leaking from his eyes. “Please, baby? So, so close. I wanna come, please.”

You take a long second to answer, wanting to hold him out until the very last second. Squeezing your hands a little tighter, breaths heavy and deep as you stare over Carmen.

“Go ahead,” you order over the squelching sounds of your drenched grip around his throbbing cock. Carmen groans loudly, mouth pulled tight.

“Yes?” He rushes out, making sure he’s heard you right. Part of him hopes it was just all a part of his imagination because he wants this feeling to last forever. Here, with you. Barely hanging on. Body tense and vibrating with this bliss.

“Yes,” you repeat louder, and there are not three seconds before Carmen’s entire body constricts and he lets out a wail. It seems to last forever and grows even louder when the first rope of cum spurts out of him.

Your mouth parts in semi-shock at the sight. He pumps out string after string, body glowing as he jerks and jolts against you and the bed. Whatever leaves Carmen’s mouth is so far from any intelligible words. Just a string of curses that melt together as he keeps cumming.

“Fuuuck, yeah. Ah, sh… shit, holy fuckin’ shit, feels so good.”

You only slow when his hand finally reaches up to gently grab your wrist. Even through the aftershocks and his last few beads of cum leaving him, he squeezes you tenderly. A long hiss leaves him when your hands slowly release his wet cock, and he lets out one last groan when the air of the room hits him.

Both of your pants are the only sound in the room. Carmen’s eyes have been shut for the better part of the last two minutes and he doesn’t have any strength to lift his head to look at you.

Somewhere in his blurred haze, Carmen feels your weight shift from on top of him to beside him. You feel both near and distant as you press kisses on his sweaty forehead. He isn’t sure but it sounds like you mumble something about you running to the bathroom and grabbing something for him.

Carmen doesn’t know if it’s seconds or years before you return, but the warm, wet feeling on his stomach and chest pries his open. He watches you in silence as you rub a damp cloth across him to clean off the fluid drying on his middle. Each wipe is followed by a small peck of our lips and it has Carmen’s eyes closing again.

He’s nearly sleeping by the end of it and you grin at the sight.

“Keep those eyes open a little longer for me, Bear, okay?”

You get nothing from him a smile again as you grab the water bottle set on the bedside table. You pop it open and use a delicate finger on his chin to pull him from his light sleep. When his eyes meet yours, he gives you a small hi.

“Hi, Bear,” you greet him quietly. “Need you to sit up a little and drink half of this for me. Pretty please.”

Carmen moves in a dreamy trance, raising slowly from the bed and onto an elbow. You help him hold the bottle, and he ends up chugging most of the liquid once he realizes how thirsty he truly is.

“You need some, too,” Carmen mutters after pushing away the water, but you shake your head and urge him to keep drinking.

“I’m okay, baby,” you nod, and he eyes you before drinking the rest. He swallows and huffs out a breath. “You okay?”

Carmen lies back down because his limbs feel like jelly.

“I think so,” he begins, and you run a hand over his head to smooth down his hair. “Don’t think I can walk, though.”

You snicker out a laugh and Carmen’s eyes light up at the sound. The hand on his hair sneaks down to his cheek and settles there. “You did so good, baby. Really good, you were great. So proud of you.”

“You were great. Made me feel incredible. Always make me feel so good,” he tells you lowly, his own hand raising to feel yours against his face. His eyes flutter shut and he kisses your palm twice. “And thank you for doing that with me. I-I really liked it. A little more than the dancing.”

This time you both laugh.

“Also, uh, as soon as I regain feeling in my legs, I’m gonna make you cum so hard that you’re the one that won’t be able to walk.”

Carmen’s words are slurred and he’s exhausted. And his eyes are closing again before he finishes the sentence. But his sense of humor is still there. You withhold the loud laugh that wants to leave you, so as to not disturb him.

In his half-sleep fog, Carmen’s arms pull you down to lay next to him. He nuzzles his still sweaty head into the crook of your neck, settling strong arms around you as he falls even deeper into sleep. Managing to grab the nearby blanket and throw it over the two of you, you hold him tight and keep holding him. Even when his light snores start.

The sheets are still a mess under you, but they’ll get washed in the morning. The next few minutes are spent watching Carmen’s chest rise and fall. The pleasant ache of your dripping core fades into a warm fuzz.

And soon, you’re following behind Carmen and are off into sleep. Dancing throughout dream realms where Carmen is the tide, you are the sun, and your love for each other is the moon sitting prettily in between.

#i have to read this FUVK FAMILY REUNION

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