ashleyontheroad-blog

[ashleyontheroad-blog]

[ashleyontheroad-blog]

[ashleyontheroad-blog]

July 17, 2015

Thursday night (July 16) I got to sleep in the van! It was so much fun! Just kidding. It was a fucking nightmare. I personally drove the Sprinter van through the night from Poughkeepsie to Camden for a show yesterday. Our sleeping place for the night was a Wal-Mart parking lot in Philadelphia. The sprinter only has bucket seats which means that you get to enjoy the utter vacation that is sleeping while sitting up in a chair. I had to sleep in the drivers seat which was a literal nightmare. The steering wheel stabbed me in the crotch all night. It had to have been 90 degrees outside so I was profusely sweating during the 2 hours of sleep I actually had. (Sidebar: thanks to chad Nicefield of Wilson for telling me to bring Gold Bond powder on tour to counteract the sweatiness) I woke up feeling fucking awful. Dehydration has officially shown it’s bitch face on this tour numerous times. After the show, we left immediately to get to Pittsburgh. Originally, We were going to stop in Lancaster to catch the “Drunk As Shit Tour” with Wilson, Mothership, and Crobot, but it just didn’t pan out due to schedule complications. I was going to work that tour (hence the title) but ended up taking this higher-paying, but shittier gig.

I think the Pittsburgh show has been my favorite so far because someone’s girlfriend brought weed brownies. I was high as shit most of the afternoon. The catering on this tour is fucking bullshit. I would rather eat gas station food (and I do). However, today Vinnie Paul grilled me a USDA Grade A premium slice of beef on the grill HellYeah takes with them on tour. I loved it! Let me end by saying that Vinnie Paul is total bad ass who gives zero fucks. I bet he ignores texts and then posts photos on Instagram.Until next time…

p.s. The above photo is of a guy in Whitechapel passed out under a piece of cardboard. He drank too much and came to load-in still fucked up from the night before. What a pussy.

[ashleyontheroad-blog]

[ashleyontheroad-blog]

July 14, 2015

Greetings from the van! We are on our way to Poughkeepsie. Yesterday, Mayhem Fest stopped in Toronto, but Sister Sin didn’t make it. Apparently, last month, the worldwide Visa system took a shit so the band was given incorrect Visas. Canada wouldn’t let them in.

Instead, we spent the day off in Buffalo. We decided to take a trip to Niagra Falls which was only a short drive from where we stayed. Before we left, tour manager Mike decided to buy a $75 bottle of scotch and consume their entire thing in one afternoon. So I had to drive the group of drunken Swedes to Niagra Falls. I’m shocked our field trip didn;t end in an arrest since everyone was walking around the park openly drinking cans of beer and bottles of liquor. Strandh was fully annihilated by the time he managed to stumble to the falls and ended up trying to catch squirrels. All the other tourists stared at us with looks of terror and shock as we drank Natural Ice. Once we got back to our room, we drank even more until Strandh eventually passed out and we were able to draw dicks all over him. Our night finally ended when Jimmy passed out after yelling quotes from Will Ferrell movies. Our room was littered with beer cans, empty liquor bottles, pizza boxes, trash, and embarrassment upon awakening. Everywhere they  go, they leave a trail of drunken destruction behind them.

[ashleyontheroad-blog]

Chicago

Today is an off day for mayhem fest, but not for sister sin. We have a headlining show in Cleveland tonight and will rejoin the tour in Toronto on Wednesday. Yesterday was the Chicago show which had the worst weather to date. It was so hot and humid that My vision started getting fuzzy and I had a heat stroke. I passed out while walking to the showers. This day was the first time I got to see King Diamond during the tour which was awesome. However, he was not wearing any makeup which was total boner poison. Word on the street is that he had an eye infection and could possibly go blind if corpse paint got into his eyes. I say risk it. Who cares if you go blind in the name of metal?!

Last night, after Slayer’s set, Mayhem Fest threw a party called the “Stache Bash” which was a mixer for all the bands playing. Three members of Sister Sin, and myself attended. It turned out to be a total sausage fest. Liv and I were the only women there. The party was titled the “Stache bash” because there was a bunch of stick-on fake mustaches you could wear. Ok then. Alcohol was provided by Coldcock Whiskey which, for the record, tastes like shit. Then someone  brought out a beer bong. I felt like I was at a frat party from hell. Jimmy yelled “I love the Catalina Wine Mixer” 57 more times before we were eventually wrangled into the van by our tour manager. Before we got into the van Strandh puked next to the van and peed on the tire. We drove through the night to the next show and at some point I threw up a bag of Hot Cheetos out the side of the van. All in all it was a decent day of stupid fucking bullshit.

[ashleyontheroad-blog]

July 5, 2015

Greetings from a Super 8 In Indianapolis! This is my first blog. I was hired a few days ago to do merch and various other tasks for Sister Sin on Mayhem Fest. I have been a die-hard Mayhem Fest attendee since 2009, but this is the first year I’m being paid to sell shirts to drunken cretins in 100 degree heat.  I only got this job because someone fucked up and I had to be called in to actually do the job correctly. This means that I missed the first 10 days of the tour.

Today, I met the tour manager, mike, and immediately made fun of him for having a Motley Crue tattoo from 1986 and for wearing a skirt. He calls it a “kilt” because he’s Scottish or whatever, but in America it’s called a skirt. After a tour debriefing and the usual discussion about how the music industry is in complete financial ruin, the drinking started. I am currently about to drink myself into an alcoholic coma.