ashieldmaidenofrohan

[ashieldmaidenofrohan]

[ashieldmaidenofrohan]

hot take: 

Gloin is the sexiest dwarf by dwarf standards.

Kili is the sexiest dwarf by elf standards.

Thorin is the sexiest dwarf by human standards

& Bombur is the sexiest dwarf by hobbit standards

[ashieldmaidenofrohan]

You a lot has been said about how quickly Ariel "fell in love"

Now as an adult I am a bit "bitch you don't even know him" but at the same time I can recognise that Eric was just part of her dreams.

She wanted to be human so very badly before Eric

He was just a bonus that she wanted to smooch

But Eric

Holy fuck!

This dude heard a chick sing and was like "that's the one. Her" despite not even seeing her face clearly

Then he meets a weird naked mute girl on the beach and is like "A FRIEND! I SHALL BRING HER HOME AND WE WILL BE FRIENDS FOR LIFE!"

And like his servant? Advisor? Whatever that dude is is like "okay I know you're hung up on mystery singing girl but this mysterious girl is right here and really into you"

And Eric is like "well damn. I should take her on a date and probably smooch her"

And he almost falls for this new girl so that he has to have a spell put on him by Ursala

Once that's broken and he realises that the two mystery girls are the SAME girl he is like "damn. Better commit murder for her" even though she is now half fish

Like Eric is ALL IN right the fuck away no matter of you're a romantic or platonic interest

Eric is a ride or die person through and through

I like to think like every other week he brings in a new drifter who is his New Best Friend and Love To Learn Ariel is thrilled and asks all the questions and records their life stories

I like to think Eric and Ariel are the weird royal couple but everyone is polite to them because 1. They are both very charming and 2. Eric can and will cut a bitch if necessary

[ashieldmaidenofrohan]

i cannot for the life of me find that essay about how sterilized, approachable, “nice” literature was used in victorian england to create a cultural imaginary that wholeheartedly ignored the atrocities being committed by the state, but every time i see someone sincerely make the argument that escapist stories are the only moral form of storytelling it rings in my head like a bell. it haunts me. some of y’all actually think that wide-scale erasure is better that attempting to grapple with messy reality in fiction and it’s honestly so exhausting

[ashieldmaidenofrohan]

[ashieldmaidenofrohan]

Wait what's a buildings fire evacuation plan if you aren't supposed to use the elevator to get down

[ashieldmaidenofrohan]

Glass spider sculptures by miniatureglass on Etsy

[ashieldmaidenofrohan]

Wow you know if this quarantine extends into next month then people are really gonna be h

[ashieldmaidenofrohan]

Get the vaccine.

If you have the opportunity, get it. If you’re eligible, get it. If you’re NOT eligible and you have a chance, get it.

If it’s due to a condition. If it’s due to your job. If it’s through a “hey our doses will expire, anybody available come quick” situation. And yes, even if it’s through a “my sister can get me in” situation.

This isn’t a selfish act, no matter how you get it. Every single person who is vaccinated helps everyone. This is a group project. There is no ethical issue with getting vaccinated “ahead of someone else.” That is not a thing. This isn’t a single-file queue and it is impossible to vaccinate everyone in an exact order of priority, all we can do is emphasize higher-risk people, which is being done whenever possible. 

If you can get it, get it. You are only helping.

[ashieldmaidenofrohan]

Dr. : do you experience any of these (Covid) symptoms?

Chronically ill people:

[ashieldmaidenofrohan]

miss piggy puts up with so much as a woman in show business and her response to misogyny is never to turn the other cheek or take the high road. it's to physically attack people. and she's right.

[ashieldmaidenofrohan]

I think it'd be fun if one of these days when the evil overlord type is like "I Need A Queen. To Rule With" one of the little henchmen is just like "um 😳 if I may, sir, I would like to volunteer 👉👈" and overlord is just like. Okay sure you're cute aha

[ashieldmaidenofrohan]

99% of all murders committed by women in ancient greek plays are completely justified

[ashieldmaidenofrohan]

Look at this fucking fit and tell me it doesn't kick ass

[ashieldmaidenofrohan]

i know it’s been said before but no book character will literally ever be as iconic as peeta “if it weren’t for the baby” mellark. like in book 1 when he confesses to having a crush on katniss on live televsion, that’s strategic. he knows he won’t win the games but he can help keep katniss safe and send her home and get district 12 a victor. but in book 2 he’s like “well we’re all gonna die and there’s no stopping the games so i’m just gonna fuck shit up and make every capitol official’s life a living hell for as long as i can” and then he does. nobody is doing it like him

[ashieldmaidenofrohan]

a non-comprehensive list of quotes from The Tudors (2007-2011) that live rent free in my brain

“if it wasn’t for YOU i could have been the queen… of  p o r t u g a l�� now what am I?”

“–some BITCH who probably HATES me–”

“you know, when i was a girl, i served at the court of margaret of austria. oh, it was a wonderful time. pageants, dances… so many dances. i once appeared as the queen of the amazons, with a naked sword in my hand, and a crimson headdress with a great plume… but margaret was wise too. she said to us: “trust in those who offer you service. and in the end, my maidens… you will find yourselves in the ranks of those who have been  d e c e i v e d …””

“lady mary… i have come here, in person, to ask you… why you do not treat me with the respect which– AS queen of england-- I am entitled to expect even from you. I noticed, as did everyone else, that you showed the greatest respect to the lady anne of cleves even though she” (actually tbh I am gonna stop there because otherwise I’d have to write out this ENTIRE interaction between them because I know it in it’s entirety)

I have a STORE of OTHER LOVERS BESIDES YOU!!!!

why are you CRYING like this!!??? THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU!!!!!!!!

i will BURN as many heretics as I have to, to make this  U N F O R T U N A T E  realm catholic again, and heal it!!!

AND…. of course………… how could we ever forget

“JUST WHEN MY BELLY IS DOING IT’S BUSINESS, I FIND YOU   W E N C H I N G   WITH MISTRESS SEYMOUR!!!!”

[ashieldmaidenofrohan]

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