ashen-dawn

[ashen-dawn]

wiggles my ass at you bug style

[ashen-dawn]

Do you think that Transformers Energon deserves a complete overhaul?

Absolutely! In fact, Transformers Cybertron introduced an Overhaul the very next year!

[ashen-dawn]

Back when I worked at the park one of my favorite games to do with kids was one called "migration race" which was meant to teach about how difficult and dangerous migration can be for birds. We played it by giving half of the kids laminated photos of migratory birds on shitty little string lanyards, and gave the other half different colored pool noodles to represent things like storms, predators, disease, etc. And the kids assigned as birds had to race from one side of a field to the other, and then back again, without getting smacked by the kids with pool noodles. 10/10 experience

[ashen-dawn]

"you don't like mpreg?" i don't even like fpreg

[ashen-dawn]

have i told you guys about the time that i classically conditioned my kindergarten class

[ashen-dawn]

For no reason here is a library story

[ashen-dawn]

when i was a kid my Getting To Sleep technique was visualizing a child-sized shriveled up mummy with big piercing eyes that would stand silhouetted in the doorway & stare at me & probably attack if i so much as opened my eyes after getting into bed & this technique caused me to develop a lifelong nighttime-induced paranoia & it still takes me 2 hours to fall asleep. so i wouldnt recommend that

[ashen-dawn]

me having a weird time: man this weird time sucks! i don't feel like myself! i wish i was having a normal time!

me having a normal time: well the weird time did have a certain je ne sais quoi...

[ashen-dawn]

Me: *looking at a porcelain hand in the home decor aisle of a store* if I lost my hands in some kind of tragic accident, I’d decorate my entire home with hand-shaped things. Then I’d invite guests over for like, dinner parties and such and sit there expectantly just basking in their discomfort.

My boyfriend: Do you hear what you say when you talk? Do you know what you just said to me?

[ashen-dawn]

So yesterday I was thinking about how femme clothes fit my sibling weird sometimes cuz of their lack of tits and then I randomly remembered this nonprofit that knits and crochets prosthetic breasts for cis women that have had mastectomies due to breast cancer (knittedknockers.org lol) and their patterns are free! So I am knitting them some tits which I find very amusing.

For those that want breastforms, the patterns are free. Takes sport or DK yarn. There's a DPN version and a knit flat version and a crocheted version. You can find them on Ravelry under the name Knitted Knockers but make sure you have mature content enabled

[ashen-dawn]

Knowing that Howl went "Fuck finishing this PhD, I'm ditching this universe to go chase girls, consort with demons, and live my wizard ladykiller dreams, while owning my own home at age 27" makes him much more understandable as a character

[ashen-dawn]

i should wake up and automatically be restored to full health, that's how sleeping should work, what is this horseshit

[ashen-dawn]

*spits up blood & looks up, smirking* heh, torture me all you like but ill never tell you the answer to the sphinxs riddle, because im stupid as fuck, & dont know it

[ashen-dawn]

one of my very favorite obscure story tropes is when there’s an episode/plotline/tabletop campaign session where the conceit is ‘each member of the gang gets trapped in a specially tailored dream/nightmare/illusory mindscape and has to break out’

[ashen-dawn]

your unreliable narrator fucking bit me

[ashen-dawn]

Practicing gratitude and taking the time to notice things you like does make you happier but it sounds fake when you first start doing it

[ashen-dawn]

Whenever an artist who makes dark content gets outed as a sexual predator people will be like 'aha it was obvious something was up because their work was so dark and nasty' and whenever an artist who makes wholesome content gets outed as a sexual predator people will be like 'aha it was obvious something was up because their work was so aggressively wholesome' and it's like you know I think maybe you can't tell whether or not someone is a predator based on their artistic output.