ashen-cardinal-arts

[ashen-cardinal-arts]

What a fucking year it has been. I'm trying to do more art and get more comfortable with myself and posting things in general. I have lost and gained so much in the past year. It's been a horrible rollercoaster. I'm thinking of starting a YouTube channel for my art. Hell maybe I'll stream on twitch or something in the future. I'm going to be going through my old art and posting it soon. I think one of the best things I can do is to stop giving a fuck about what other people think and just focus on me. I'm going to start posting some really ugly messy sketches. I need to prove to myself that I am capable and stop giving up because things aren't perfect. I plan on getting back into writing short stories again. I want to start drawing comics. I have always wanted to have my own comic. I'm moving forward with my life, but I am going to take my time.

[ashen-cardinal-arts]

if you're trying to get into the head of your story's antagonist, try writing an "Am I the Asshole" reddit post from their perspective, explaining their problems and their plans for solving them. Let the voice and logic come through.

[ashen-cardinal-arts]

*throws some patterns in your face* These will all be lanyards and probably gold foil washi tape as well. Pattern inspiration from top to bottom: Ukrainian egg dying, Chinese blue porcelain, Japanese kimono motifs, the locked tomb, Norwegian rosemaling

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*extremely* messy sketch of jinx to represent my state of mind after arcane S02 oh my god I am not okay -

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My fav problem child

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My fav problem child

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Them two

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how it feels to be online these days

[ashen-cardinal-arts]

My dog died yesterday. I can't believe it happened. He was such a good boy. I don't know if I'll be okay after this. My mother ran him over and didn't even notice. He was in the yard. It was horrible. I'm not going to share details about much of anything here but I don't trust her after this and how she behaved after this. I'm not okay. I miss my Tubby. I can't believe how much I came to love him over the past year. I can't believe how empty life feels knowing he's not here. I haven't loved a dog this much in years. I haven't been this fucked up over an animal in so long.

[ashen-cardinal-arts]

I hate how hard I worked on this just to have to compress the file down to this grainy qualiy

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I love his obnoxious ass

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I love his obnoxious ass

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I just reada really good fic but halfway through I realized "oh shit this is really familiar.... didn't I write something like this once?" And as I kept reading I kept predicting what happened next and the further I went the more convinced I was that they'd ripped off my story-

like, copied the ENTIRE plot and re-written it, just better than I had? The characters were more fleshed-out than mine were, and the POV was more interesting, and the pace made more sense- but it was MY STORY?

So close to the end I was like "holy shit.. do I message them? Ask if my story inspired theirs? Should I be angry? Flattered?" Cause their tags and description didn't mention me AT ALL, which, sure, it's fanfiction to begin with, but if you're using my work than at least credit me as inspo, right? Just to be courteous?

But I get to the end of the final chapter, and it's not finished, and I'm kind of disappointed cause I never finished my story and I was really immersed in their version now and had been looking forwards to seeing how they tied up my loose ends- so I scroll to the bottom to leave a comment, and.

It's MY URL.

IT WAS MY STORY THE WHOLE TIME.

THE ONE *I WROTE*.

In *2013*.

And FORGOT ABOUT

BECAUSE I WAS SO INSECURE ABOUT MY SLOPPY, SHALLOW, AMETEUR WRITING

And I'm just sitting here now staring into space thinking about every shitty story I've ever written now like

IT WAS ALL GOOD?

IT WAS GOOD THIS WHOLE DAMN TIME??

I'M A GOOD WRITER?????

[ashen-cardinal-arts]

Listening to Unwell again. I know it's been finished for about a year, and I have been listening to it for like 3-4 years. Something about the podcast feels like home to me. One day I'd like to make something like Unwell. Something spooky and mysterious, but still feels like home.

Also Old Gods of Appalachia is just as good. Unwell and Old Gods of Appalachia are my absolute favorite podcasts. They're the kids of things that speak to my soul.

[ashen-cardinal-arts]

Saw this and immediately thought of Chloe Price

Draw a character covered in butterflies

[ashen-cardinal-arts]

core classes as undead :)