ash-2-dust

[ash-2-dust]

I don’t know if there’s hope for me. I fucking hate admitting it, but I don’t. I’ll be blaming myself forever because it is my fault. It is my responsibility. I will never stop feeling this horrible crushing guilt. It’s what I deserve, anyway. I deserve many good things. This is not one of them.

[ash-2-dust]

do you believe even the worst people can change? ♪

You shouldn’t be here.

[ash-2-dust]

I really can’t be doing this right now. This punishment is unjust.

[ash-2-dust]

I’m not sure if there’s any hope for me!

[ash-2-dust]

I need to talk to my fucking therapist

[ash-2-dust]

Dude, that's your punishment, having to work on dealing with the fact you can be forgiven for what you did, deserving of it or not. Whoever she is, clearly has given an assignment. Work on it.

Why the hell do I have asks on. Shut the fuck up. You don’t know the extent of my crimes, nor will I tell you.

[ash-2-dust]

May as well delete this account.

[ash-2-dust]

And the worst part is I understand her.

[ash-2-dust]

She needs to learn when to shut up

[ash-2-dust]

I don’t fucking get it. I don’t fucking get it. I’ve made everything worse and it’ll never get better. I’m worthless. I am less than worthless in the eyes of the gods. Once I die, my tainted blood will kill the plants around me and my bones will be forever soaked with rot. I don’t deserve to be fertilizer for the trees. I deserve to vanish. That would be healthier for everyone.

[ash-2-dust]

I don’t know why she didn’t kill me. I don’t understand her. She forgave me and I committed the worst crime known to man and she forgave me. I fucked up. I fucked up immensely. I shouldn’t be forgiven. Not after all I’ve done. Even after all I’ve done to fix my mistake I don’t deserve it. I haven’t treated her with respect and dignity. I dug my claws into her and left a wound that won’t heal within my lifetime. I don’t fucking understand her. I don’t get it. I should be punished more than I ever have been. I should have died that day. I should be dead.

[ash-2-dust]

I’ve done plenty of unforgivable things. Plenty of them. Perhaps even too many to be forgiven, and yet she forgives me for every one of my misdeeds? She says she understands me. She gave me compassion, despite everything. I don’t get it.

[ash-2-dust]

I really do not deserve forgiveness.

[ash-2-dust]

They were wrong. This means nothing. I’m very happy with myself.

[ash-2-dust]

I don’t feel like myself.

[ash-2-dust]

This feels like shit.

[ash-2-dust]

I don’t know what I am.