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Casual Racism - Is it OK?

Tom: What's the difference between a black man and a bench? Treyshawn: I don't know. What? Tom: A bench can support a family of four! Treyshawn: Hey, that's racist! Tom: But you know I love you, man! Treyshawn: Yeah, I guess it's just casual racism.

 What sparked off this post was having been in a situation where everyone around me except from myself was laughing at someone’s ‘racist humour’. Which I could not get on board with. No instinct within my body was telling me to laugh or to join in, I was stunned. For a while I have thought, maybe its something wrong with me? Maybe I’m just too serious, maybe I’m the boring one. I can hear someone in my head saying ‘Its only so in so, they're only joking, they don't mean it!’ No. The fact is Casual racism is a type of racism and it is not OK. And I cannot seem to wrap my head around how this person can feel totally at ease while slurring away willy nilly. Its such a boyish tendency, looking for the shock factor. You know when people laugh with a big wide open ‘O’ because its so awkward or is just so wrong is funny. For me its like laughing at a funeral. 

Examples of causal racism include jokes, off-handed comments, and exclusion of people from social situations on the basis of race. I’m sure that often these jokes are not intended to cause harm or offence. The problem is when having this conversation about race is the tendency to downplay it as not truly or really racist. I strongly believe that this can embolden and encourage racism. No, you do not need to subscribe to doctrines of racial superiority to have racist implications. It is about impact as much as it is about intention. And I am not laughing. 

Just like full on racism, casual racism can marginalise, denigrate or humiliate those who experience it. Even if they are not present, we shouldn’t forget about those who are on the receiving end of discrimination.

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Going to college 

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Being strong means not letting anyone make you feel patronised or left feeling degraded, inadequate or dumb just because of their personal opinion.

So I got my results back today whether I passed or failed the pathway stage. And I passed!! Woo... except I was left on an incredible downer. At first it was great and everything was positive feed back. They said my projects were good. But one tutor looked at me disappointingly the whole time just because I didn't do things her way. No she actually stated she was really disappointed in me. I know she has some personal beef with me. She likes making constantly little jibs at all of us but it really gets to me and I hate it. So what if I fucking put A level work in my portfolio AND used plastic sheets, OOH A TINY FREAKING GLARE, I MIGHT AS WELL GO AND KILL MYSELF RIGHT NOW/. Disregarding the fucking fact that I've already received two offers from two very good universities who DON'T CARE WHAT SO EVER ABOUT THE FUCKING SHEETS. 

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X

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David Fullarton

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Art school was actually okay today. My presentation went well despite not receiving any indication of how well I've done or praise; just a smile on my tutor's face will have to suffice.

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David Fullarton

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I really don't fancy feeling guilty about something I haven't done.

Okay so ... (pun intended), I haven't been going to my tutorials. Hands are in the air! I'm being honest. The reason? I just didn't want to and to be honest, thinking about it, it is quite sad. Essentially I haven't been going to my tutorials because of my sarcastic, patronising, reprimanding tutors. They make me feel inadequate and dumb what ever I do, whether I'm proud of my work or whether I'm not. I actually prefer the Art technician, at least I've actually learnt something from him, if only he was my tutor...What I hate the most is that they do not praise me at all. Its not like I'm asking for attention but just some sort of encouragement, which I am definitely not feeling. It's just a shame. It seriously makes me dread going in all the way to Norwich to hear them drone on and on about what we need to do, repeating it in several different ways. They might as well say it in different fucking languages too the way they go on. And the need to ask 'Are there any questions?' multiple times, is not needed. If we had questions or (even wanted to talk to them) we would ask. It's almost as though they don't like art at all sometimes, because they project very little passion for the bloody subject. It very often feels like the way they collect our essays in military precision suggests its more about fighting to get through the day and getting their own work out the way, as opposed to helping us with ours. I sometimes wonder if my tutors ever ponder why I don't turn up to my slotted time. Do they even consider if maybe possibly for some reason its actually something that they are doing wrong. 

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I remember my interviewer today said about 5 times: "I can see in your work a lot of ENERGY.." And I felt like saying well it must be some heavy energy because I know I don't have any right now ‪#‎ArtIsPain‬

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Me with my Art Foundation tutors...

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My college never give me a sheet online to fill in, so I always look like having to make these death threat notes...