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nobody does it better than the stardew valley chicken

lets goooooo little dude you know exactly whats going on

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If you want a good reason to buy the Mycroft Holmes Simulator, every time someone does I get an email notification that looks like this:

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When your friend tells you something good, but utterly incomprehensible

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My Life Changed When I Discovered Peer-to-Peer File Sharing at Age 10 by heart__rot

28x28

Acrylic on Canvas

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Imagine this whole post in the TikTok text to speech voice.

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big pharma will try to sell u $20 cold medicine like spicy ramen doesnt cost like a dollar a pack and orgasms are free

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the richest person you know is always a "consultant". WHAT are you consulting⁉️

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"Ok, ma'am that'll be 226.03$."

I take my wallet out of my pocket and unfold it. It is empty other than a single moth that lazily flies out. The moth lands on the tap point of the card reader. There's a beat, and my payment is processed. The moth flies back into my wallet and I put it back in my pocket.

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if you hired a galapagos finch as a linecook it would perfectly evolve a beak to optimally smoke cigarettes behind the dumpsters

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Would being called big dog fix me? Who knows?

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a second beam of hope has stricken my heart

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To The Person Who Was Sitting Near Me On The Train - Jordan Bolton

My first book ‘Blue Sky Through the Window of a Moving Car’ is out Nov 7th and is available to pre-order here - https://smarturl.it/BlueSky

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so ummm welcome to my jar:) lemme show you around! theres some holes poked in the top so i can breathe, theres some leaves to munch on, and ive even got a twig! #mytwig

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