artemisiaposts

[artemisiaposts]

In the storyline, the protagonist can alternate their hope and will. But, in the process of doing so, their idea of having the ultimate opportunity to live in peace forever; is not so achievable. The story will consist of a girl who faces a lot of average problems that construct her and led her to believe that maybe. Just maybe, that if she lives now. She would not have to worry about the future so much.

Thank you for reading.

Please enjoy.

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In society terms, she is quite an average-looking person. And for a girl who carries a lot of her friend's weight, it's not surprising that she living her life the way she believed it to be.

Stale.

And

Tiresome.

In other words, she expected a lot when she moved out of state for her studies. Which presented itself in a variety of surprises and depressing moments. What made her believe things will essentially change once she was out? Is a question she does not know the answer to. Nor, does she want to find out once her loans begin to haunt her for the rest of her life.

Despite all the problems that presented themselves to her, she slowly begins to dig herself up into some unwanted pains. She even lost feeling in parts of her mind and soul due to the fact of always being disappointed with the outcome that has bared its teeth the moment she tried changing it.

It would almost seem as if she was doomed to live an unhappy life. She understands that she cannot find the answer within others. Nor, can she bring herself to find the answer. Meaning, she was stuck in the middle.  Now, being stuck in the middle does not sound too bad if you are okay with it.

However, in her opinion, being stuck in a rut is a scenario she lived her whole life. That, even she, forgot who she was. It only seemed like the other day she lost one of her best friends that she knew from a young age. Or, living in a scene where she's not even second best.

She's just there.

Always being picked as the last person on the team,

Always being forgotten that she exists,

Always watching from afar as her friends go out and live their life.

She understands the concept of why she is here.

Watching instead of being the player on the field.

It's because no one wants someone who is the following,

Her ability to underperform in school.

Her speech impediment seems to deter her peers.

Her clothes practically drape her body in all the wrong ways.

Her facial structures struggle to smile.

And lastly but not least,

Her attitude.

Of course, she received compliments. Like,

"You know I inspired to be as confident as you,"

To which she was surprised to hear when a girl who was the same age as she said. Considering their base in status. The tall blonde gorgeous girl complimenting her? She was about to say thank you.

Until

"Your skin is covered in pimples, and yet you walk around school like you don't care.”

Yes! The backhand complimented that wins the game. The game that she didn't even know she was in; the game in which she lost.

Or the problem where she's too ugly for others to care about because they don't want to get their hands dirty. Especially when she is being sexually harassed.

"Damn girl, I didn't know your ass was that fat."

To which the crowd of people would laugh at his explicit joke.

But yes, don't take it too seriously because if she does. She will get reminded that it's just a joke, that what he just said was a compliment.

Not. A. Problem.

Of course, she can't always complain about her life. Right? There's has to be something that keeps her from losing it.

Right?

People care for her, right?

They didn't start caring about her until she left.

And even then, it was only the select few. She was surprised when her best friend she knew from a young age tried getting back to her.

But she knew better.

Through the fake tears and eyes that meant nothing but, "I am better than you in every way." Told her otherwise.

At first, she was extremely bitter about how her best friend treated her. But then she realized something. She probably wouldn't be alive, had she not met her.

And for that reason alone.

The bitterness disintegrated; into a more grateful attitude.

After all,

Her best friend was there for it all.

Even to the birthday parties that not even her parents were there to celebrate.

It's okay.

She understood that they were tired and they weren't the best parents. But she was grateful to even have parents.

In her twisted mind,

She was okay.

Being stuck in the middle.

Does her life get any better?

With everything, she has faced?

She does not know.

So why does she keep going on?

Why does she still have hope?

After, facing her fears.

Living in a friend group that turned their backs on her and stabbed her right through her heart, the minute she left.

She wants to know, is that normal?

Is it normal to be in constant fear that she won't be accepted for who she was?

She does not know the answer.

And even if she was accepted.

Who is she?

What does she even mean?

So, she faced a couple of bumps in the road.

Surely, something good will happen.

Right?

Maybe what her dad told her,

Was right.

She is the definition of self-pity.

It's okay.

She knows her answer;

She knew it for a long time.

She feared that if she continued her action;

She would miss out on being happy.

But quite frankly, the only thing she didn't miss out on,

Seeing her friends grow apart from her.

And surely, she was happy for them.

But it sure did burn like hell.

Thank you.

Thank you for nothing and everything.

[artemisiaposts]

listen to your mother; girls my age are dangerous.

Honey baby,

You were as sweet as your words.

But,

You never mean it.

The evil smile that hides behind the liquor,

Trouble sleeping as you wear all of his clothes,

Trouble sleeping as you wear his lips on your honey pot.

You never know how much I loved him,

Because you never knew how to love in the first place.

So what are your true intentions?

I never know the answer,

Please I know I am better than this.

Yet,

I can’t help but smile behind the liquor glass.

-

Artemisia.