artemais

[artemais]

[artemais]

fake relationship but its a king and his concubine that was once an amazing soldier but he couldn’t go up the ranks for whatever reason so the king was like listen. hear me out. you can be my strategy dude. u just gotta be okay w walking around shirtless a lot. and soldier dude is like man that’s an UPSIDE and yknow they end up falling in love

[artemais]

[artemais]

They’re also just boring and expensive as hell like what is even the point

fireworks suck. they disturb the environment, cause wildlife to become panicked, abandon their nests/young, flee into roadways, and die when they ingest or become entangled in the remnants of fireworks. the residues and chemicals left by them pollute the water and soil. not to mention the affect they have on people with ptsd, or those who have conditions that make them sensitive to air quality like asthma. 

[artemais]

[artemais]

Me: dont fuckin boss me around!!!!!

Someone I Find Attractive: *tells me what to do in a semi-stern voice*

Me:

[artemais]

Story idea: The most wanted woman in town has announced that she’ll only marry the one who can open her front door with the key around her cat’s neck. Many men try to hunt the cat down, chase and trap it, but to no avail, the cat is simply too quick, smart and clever, and always finds a way to evade and avoid them.

 You are the first one to figure out the obvious: Do not chase the cat. The cat is befriendable. Get the cat to trust you, to genuinely enjoy your company, and you can hang out with the cat. You may eventually be allowed to touch the cat. The cat will freely let you take the key.

 Secondary plot twist: The woman is a shapeshifter. She is the cat.

[artemais]

twinks be like

*twink noise*

[artemais]

[artemais]

[artemais]

The amount of times I could have been that white girl in the horror movie could honestly be a movie in itself and it’s honestly a waste that my entire life isn’t constantly recorded on film because it would be HILARIOUS

[artemais]

If we’re mutuals it’s 100% okay to send me nudes

Just sayin’

[artemais]

i literally never force myself to do anything thats probably my biggest problem abjzsdgdhdj

[artemais]

Growing up in an abusive household is a fucking trip dude……If you’ve never had someone angrily wash a dish at you or fold a sock in your direction then how are you gonna understand why I get nervous when you quietly do the laundry, or why I ask “are you mad at me?” when you set the bag of groceries down too hard? It’s a totally different way of living and it impacts you long after you’ve left the situation.

[artemais]

someone just…..slap their dick on my face

[artemais]

[artemais]

PSA

I enjoy nudes. So feel free to send them anytime.