artem-the-radio-guy

[artem-the-radio-guy]

*A present and a card addressed to Artem have been left for him.*

“Hi Artem,

Happy Holidays! I hope you’ve been doing good. I wanted to send you something for the holidays, and also thank you again for your radio station! I listen to it all the time, especially when I’m baking.

From Grif”

*The box contains some stained-glass cookies, mostly stars and snowflakes, but there’s also some shaped like music notes.*

-@gryphonanon

”HECK YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!”

[artem-the-radio-guy]

Hey radio guy, what d'you think of your boss?

”…Wildcard’s…well, a Wildcard, heh. But I know she’s doing what she thinks is right. That’s why I’ve stuck with her so long.”

[artem-the-radio-guy]

>> I’ll bring you back, then scold her.

>> Now get your ass over here.

>>I warned you.

>>He’s on his way.

[artem-the-radio-guy]

>> oh.

>> well, I’m gonna be SUPER BLUNT about this, but you’re gonna do it anyways. It’s MY sister, and it’s HER husband.

>> I’m gonna make sure they’re happy, and you WILL NOT stand in the way of that just because you feel bad, got it?

>>If she kills me it’s on you.

[artem-the-radio-guy]

>> ooooh.

>> can you not do it remotely?

>>Probably not.

[artem-the-radio-guy]

>> Why not? Disagreement?

>>Long story.

[artem-the-radio-guy]

>>… hello?

>> I don’t know if Yel would want to see me.

[artem-the-radio-guy]

>> Used to be. It’s Mallory now.

>>Radio silence.

[artem-the-radio-guy]

>> a shadow demon kidnapped my sister (Yelena) and now she can only speak and understand Ukrainian.

>> Her husband wants to be able to talk to her. Do you know how to help?

— User Carbine

…

>>Wait, Yelena?

>> hold on is this girl’s last name Lyubov by any chance

[artem-the-radio-guy]

>> help.

>> my sister can only speak and understand Ukrainian for some reason and I’m the only person who can understand her…

>> please help give her English back.

— User Carbine

>> wh

>> context pls?????

[artem-the-radio-guy]

was?

”Yeah. We lost our vocalist.”

[artem-the-radio-guy]

you could be a popstar!

”Rockstar. And…I was, in a way.”

>>He laughs bitterly.

[artem-the-radio-guy]

wow

if i was a plot relevant character id be in love

“Pffft, thanks, I guess.”

[artem-the-radio-guy]

well then may you serenade me?

>>He walks over to a large set of speakers, connects his electric guitar to a large amp, and DOES AN EPIC GUITAR SOLO FOR TEN MINUTES

[artem-the-radio-guy]

so I hear you like guitar

”Like guitar- I live and BREATHE GUITAR!!”

[artem-the-radio-guy]

anyway have a cooke

>>He gives you finger guns.

[artem-the-radio-guy]

great question i havent met him either

>>blink blink