arlyn-nylra

[arlyn-nylra]

Art by Alariko

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Sharing jackets?!?

[arlyn-nylra]

i scare people lots because i walk very softly and they don’t hear me enter rooms so when they turn around i’m just kind of there and their fear fuels me

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[arlyn-nylra]

birds have truly mastered feathers like what do you Mean they can be shiny. how fucking cool is that

[arlyn-nylra]

On my first day in Germany I got to my hotel and I couldn't get the lights to turn on. And I was like "Eh, fuck it, I'll just take a shower in the dark." And then the shower wouldn't get hot. I waited and waited and it stayed ice cold.

So I go down to the front desk and I'm like "My lights won't turn on and my shower won't get hot" so they send this guy up with me. We get into the room and I flick the switch and nothing happens so I'm like "See?"

And he goes "You must put your card in the slot."

"I... what? I have to put my room card in the light switch?"

"Of course!"

Now I have been in many hotels in the US and never encountered this concept, but apparently it was something most of their guests already knew. So I'm looking like a fool at this point. I feel like an idiot. The dude is fully grinning at me. I put the card in the slot and voila, the light turns on.

Then he's like "Ok, let's see if the shower works. You know you must wait for the hot water?" and I just know he's thinking I'm an idiot who also can't use a shower. This stupid American can't wait for the hot water! She can't even use a light switch or a shower!

And I guess he was distracted by these thoughts of my stupidity, because this dude fully stepped into the shower. In his nice dress shirt and slacks. He just. Gets into the shower.

And turns it on.

Have you ever seen a playing field get leveled instantaneously

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Granny and her kitties 😼

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from 1980

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COLUBMO!!!!!!!!

[arlyn-nylra]

hey folks if you have an android phone: google shadow installed malware.

I had to go and delete it myself this morning.

[arlyn-nylra]

Went to a restaurant wearing a floofy tulle skirt, had an unexpected allergic reaction and had to Leave, got so nauseous I couldn't move and passed out face down fully clothed on top of my duvet cover. Woke up a few hours later and Koshekh was burrowed under my skirt hugging my ass.

The bingus is the greatest animal of all time everyone should have a bingus.

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average caniac

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That’s it, that’s all I got. Happy Valentine’s Day, tumblr, thank you for tolerating me.

[arlyn-nylra]