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First Birthday

Tomorrow is the first birthday you will not see. Sometimes I fear we made a mistake. You weren't really gone. It doesn't seem possible that such a light could fade out. That glimmer that made it's way over to me and then back to you, exists only in my mind now. There are times I let myself put it on replay until it makes me too sad. If I'm being really bold, I let myself daydream about what could have been, what I sometimes secretly believe should have been.

Oh, there are the really typical things that go through my head. You'll never see this or that...Who would have thought you'd never live to see 64? Sometimes I fear I'll never love anyone as much as I love you, or feel loved the way you so tenderly loved me. And then there are moments spent racking my brain to remember details fading like pictures on movie reels in an old abandoned theater.

There is a crosswalk downtown that misses your footsteps. Do you remember the old, dusty thrift shop on the corner? I flash back to when I was so engrossed with the broken keys of a rundown typewriter, that had seen better days. I know you were beside me. Why can't I remember what you said? How could I have missed that moment? And why is remembering this moment so important to me?

In times like this when it's too painful to face the reality of the present, I often think of the words you left behind. And how funny that they are not really your words. Everything that your spirit chose to consume flew from your fingers like fire. More important than you. More important than me.

So what can I do now but chose the same path?

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

John 14: 1-3

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 14:27

And I have to remind myself again and again. You were never mine. You were always His.

And what are these fears anyway? You are happy and whole and this is your first birthday in heaven. What is this sadness? I will rejoice with you!

 Happy birthday, Mom! 

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My God is a linker

~I was walking to work.~

All the pain. Seen and unseen. From death, rejection, insecurity, loneliness, abandonment, jealously, neglect, broken trust, harsh words, fear, and fists. All these events, over the years have built upon one another and pushed down deep, to be glossed over by words like, 

"It's not that big of a deal."

"I'll get over it."

"It's all in the past."

Or turned into greater burdens by,

"It was my fault."

"If only I had..."

So many wounds brought to the surface because of loss. 

I have questioned God many times about this suffering. I have questioned His goodness and purpose in my life. Through all of this I have received answers and have seen good things come from terrible circumstances but still my heart has been in agony as I look over this year. It has been without a doubt the hardest year of my life, and yet in many ways I have been extremely blessed! Which is what this entry is about.

The past two months have been such a struggle and often times I've felt as though I was crawling in the dark and being stalked by the demon of despair. It seemed as if love, joy, and peace would forever elude me. But even in that deep darkness, I've come to realize I was not alone. I read once, perhaps in Captivating, that one of the enemy's tricks is to make us feel as if we are completely and utterly alone, to cut us off from others. I wrestled with this lie and it won the battle more than once. But at some point I felt an urge in my heart to seek out a specific person. An amazing woman and her equally amazing husband were willing to hear me out. All of my frustration, doubts, and sadness were placed in their laps on a weekday evening and God spoke through them to guide me! But more on that later.

Not too long ago, I was reading about asking God for his perspective in our lives and reading about how we cannot fully know the truth of our circumstances until we have a word from the Lord. We see evidence of this again and again in the Bible.

“The disciples were in a boat during a storm, while Jesus slept at the back. If you had gone to those disciples in the middle of that tempest and asked them, “What is the truth of this situation?” what would they have said? “We perish!” Was that the truth? No, Truth was asleep at the back of the boat. Truth is a person. In a moment, Truth Himself would stand up and calm the storm. Then they knew the Truth of their circumstance.” -Experiencing God, Unit 6, Day 3.

This study also talked about how the Lord doesn't lead our lives in random directions but all is done in sequence. When truth, God's purpose and ways are revealed to us by the Holy Spirit, our eyes are opened to how and why He has brought us to where we are and even where we are going. As I prayed for God to show me His perspective, I knew He would do it. I felt fully confident that He would reveal truth to me.

And a few days passed.

I was walking to work.

I was praying over the day when all of a sudden He spoke to me. I was not at all praying over His perspective and what was revealed to me did not come from a logical thought process. The image of some events in my life flashed through my mind and there was a red thread running through them and at the end was great healing! I was stunned at how quickly it all came together and how I could clearly see this was a gift from the Lord! Here is His purpose! Pain from my past resurfaced due to my mom's death and as I fought with this, relationships around me became strained, leading me to that wonderful couple, whom He used to show me opportunities for healing. One that led me to another kindhearted couple, to take part in a healing session, and another opportunity to consider receiving counseling.

I had believed the truth of my circumstance was, "I perish!". Was that truth? No! My God wants to heal me! How could I be healed if I didn't want or feel like I needed healing? My heart felt as high as the sky I lifted my eyes to. This joy can only come from Him, as did this truth. I praise God for all the pain because it caused me to recognize the healing I need. I feel affirmed in the decisions I felt led to make, though they caused a lot of hurt, because I see how they are linked to His plan. This pain is for a greater purpose and the healing that will come is for a greater purpose still. This journey does not end with this healing. I shiver with anticipation thinking about where He may lead me next.

Maybe this does not all make sense, but I pray for whoever is reading this...I pray that God has been working in your heart to allow you to accept this.

God is good.

He does all things through love, He is love. He does not and will do not anything that is without purpose or truth. And He longs to heal us. 

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Waiting for the Sun

There is a sad little flame

Deep in the dark

Flickering,

dangerously close to giving out

And it's hard to know where to go

With this light so dim

Lost in the dark

I know there's a pit down here

Maybe I'm already in

My heart is so, so sick

I'm weary of forcing this afflicted soul to go on

I'm tired of the pain

I'm still waiting for the Sun

To save me from death

With it, joy will come

But how long is this night?

Will you take me by the hand?

Show me which way is right

I'm still waiting for the Sun 

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As Your Voice Fades

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Hey, is that a layer? Let's peel it. (Pt. 1)

   This is only one part of many. I hope to write soon of other events that have taken place this summer that fall along with this theme.

    Nearly two months ago, a respected brother of our fellowship gave a message that I was reminded of while thinking of writing this post. He used the phrase “circumcision of the heart” often in this message. Involuntarily, I winced every time he made use of these words. I, as most people, thought of the most common definition of the word "circumcision". (Not to mention, I squirmed with awkwardness. It's just an awkward word...or maybe I am just awkward?) However, the word can also mean “spiritual purification” or “cutting around”. This brother spoke of the pain it took for him to draw nearer to the Lord. But this process of change brought along humility, clarity, and much joy. I have come to learn I did a pretty “great” job of building layers of protection around my heart and as the years have gone by the Lord has been peeling back those layers. And the closer it gets to my heart, the more it hurts. So this phrase popped into my head when I thought of this summer and of the work the Lord has been doing in my life.

    We know it is no fun to be shown how prideful you are. To be shown that your thinking needs re-evaluating and changing. To have it revealed that you do not love the Lord as you should, and therefore you also do not trust Him. No, it's not fun but these things had to be brought to my attention. Lovingly and softly, all in His timing. Thank you, Lord, for teaching me difficult lessons

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8

   “Hmm. I think I've heard that before but I still know what is best for me. So I am going to drag my feet as I walk along the path You want me to, because I really don't want to be doing this. And actually I think my time would be better spent elsewhere.” I believe that accurately sums up my attitude towards this summer.

    Though I knew in my heart it was in God's will that all should happen as it would, I still did not want to face this summer alone. But what a blessing I see now! I realized not too long after Ray and Jo left that I had really been holding myself back from grieving my mom's death. With the exception of the cries at the moment of her death, every other period of mourning had been stifled, told only to my pillow or held tightly in my chest with the slip of a few wayward tears. How relieving it felt to be alone with the Lord and freely lament. I was also able to use this time to explore feelings of anger, fear, and loneliness.

“I really don't want to spend this summer alone...”

“But you must, my dear child. You must face this pain with Me. You have distracted yourself long enough. Continue along the path of healing. I'm with you. Don't be afraid.”

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

    I used to want to live alone and was convinced by Jo and Ray to become their roommate. And after spending this summer getting what I had once wanted, I'm not sure I would like to do it again...but those days spent so vividly cradled in His arms are precious to me. They are not like anything I had ever experienced with the Lord before. I feel like we have taken one giant step together to another area of our relationship and it fills me with such hope and joy!

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Shifting over

Standing in line to get on a boat is not the best time to suddenly start thinking about Mom. 

I started thinking 'How does a person die?' I imagined her lying there. Only her body. No flame inside. 'How can the spirit leave the body?' By the command of God the body fails. What once was warm and full of life becomes cold and stiff. No more thoughts, words, or love. 

I'll never forget that moment. Just seeing her there. Feeling like there was nothing left. 

But what joy she must have felt just after her last breath! I've thought of how I can't wait to get to heaven so I can see her again. Through study and meditating, I have realized, to a certain extent, I am wrong to think this way. I've had this thought about how wonderful this will be countless times. But I can count on one hand how many times I've thought the same way about seeing Jesus. When I get to heaven I don't want my first thought to be "Where is my mom?" I want it to be to find Jesus and praise Him.

My mom is a gift from the One who loves me more. Jesus redeemed her from brokenness and is with her now and yes, I praise and love Him for that. However, I should always remember He did that for HIS glory. Even if my mom did not love Him and rejected Him, I should still choose Him. Always choose Him. Not merely because I want to go to heaven, but because I can't stand to be away from Him. Because I love Him too much to be where He is not. 

About a year ago, it was revealed to me that I sometimes view my mom as an idol. A person no one else could come close to. Someone I would always value over all others. I can't love the created more than the Creator. 

I thank Him for my mom. I saw His love clearly through her. He used her to help reach me. Now my prayer is that He helps me love Him more, and that my every thought is occupied with Him. Obsessed? Yes. This is what I want to be. 

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Clearing Fear

For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love, and of a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7

There it is. Written. So why do I continue to fear? A door to new fears has been opened and I'm trying to shut it. But the door is too heavy, the dark wind is too strong. I lack the strength to move it but a few inches. 

So I'll just sit here and pray. 

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This Dreaded Summer

The summer that has come is a far cry from what I had hoped it would be. Along with the death of my mom, there have been countless other deaths. Many dreams and hopes died with her and I am still trying to bury them. This summer I'm found alone and I'm not sure how to handle this. At the beginning of this year, I imagined I'd be traveling to the states to enjoy the San Antonio sun, with her. And yet, I am here on the other side of the world. He took her and that summer is dead. It never even had a chance.

I feel cheated. She has been stolen away. I know this is night and in the morning she will place a kiss on my forehead to wake me. But that doesn't soothe the pain.

This Matt & Toby song (What Plays In My Head) I think speaks about that loss well.

“I want you to know what happened when I lost you I wish you could feel this aching that's replaced you So here among these gathered few With hardened hearts and empty pews I pray that this will too pass and leave... ...Oh oh the worst is, those things we manage Don't let yourself cry in front of the kids And I'm so exhausted, that I think I've lost it Six months ago I had it all...”

On one hand, I believe I have been given the opportunity to grieve fully in solitude but on the other, I find great comfort in shedding tears with others. And being with others is also a distraction from the aching that is constantly reminding me something is wrong. I should praise Him for bringing me to this point to acknowledge this and I know I will, maybe some weeks or months from now, but at this moment I only feel hurt and so sad. That is a word as simple as how I feel. I am sad.

I want the summer I dreamed about back. If only I could replace what reality is now, with what my heart was set on. It was so naïve but endlessly lovely.  

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"Somebody please tell me What am I suppose to do? You've died and I'm here Thinking that I hear your voice But it's somebody else It's always somebody else Why did you die? Don't leave me please I beg you God tonight bring me peace I'll never sleep without The dreams of you alive here with me Alive here with me The brightness left your eyes As I held your face Don't tell me it's the right time And your last words will sustain me Until my end Until I see you again"

Emery- As your voice fades

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When words fail.

Yesterday, I counted the weeks that have gone by since she passed away and saw  that it had been two months. I only thought of how quickly time has flown by. This afternoon I was practicing some new chords on the guitar and formed a little melody with a soft, sweet sound. Feet propped on the window sill, warm breeze tickling my legs, with one glance to the right suddenly the melody had a whole new meaning. 

Seeing her smiling face in that picture, remembering her laugh and the touch of her hair against my cheek. My heart began to ache to realize, as I have realized again and again, that she is gone. She, the one whose voice swam through the house. The one who had smooth hands of silk, sweet perfume, and red lipstick. She, who gave me lemon thyme and showed me how to burn my brothers with seeds rubbed against concrete. 

Those moments are wrapped in that melody. That resonance explains what I cannot. One of my biggest frustrations lately has to do with words. To put what I feel into words is an unbearable task. To express even the simplest thoughts is sometimes hopeless. I hear the words coming out of my mouth in a jumble. A vague, disarray of sounds that is instead a disharmony of what I actually mean. 

However, the anguish and lonesomeness of the wave that was overtaking me still had that twinge of peace. Though thin and frail, like  a bird's wispy bones, it was enough to carry me through. In these past couple of months, where words fail me and trip over themselves. Where they can never truly express what my heart feels, these chords succeeded. Praise to the Lord for such a gift! Praise to the Lord for comfort in times like these! 

On a side note, all of this took place around 3 pm this Saturday afternoon and I became aware of the fact that China is a day ahead so technically at that moment it was exactly 2 months and almost to the exact hour of her passing. 

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Life Size Miracles

Losing my mom is the hardest thing I have ever gone through. The death of a loved one has to be the hardest thing anyone will go through, but this was the first time I had ever encountered this is my lifetime. Hearing from my family on Wednesday, March 20th that my mom was being put on life support was at first a very scary time and I was filled with uncertainty. But as the day went on our Father showed me again and again that He is taking care of everything and I could trust Him with my family, heart, and the days to come. That morning I prayed to Him "How am I going to do this? How am I going to get home?" and by the end of the day I knew all along He was saying, "You're not going to do it. I am." He stirred the hearts of those who heard of my situation to help me get home. I was overwhelmed by the love and support I received from friends. All day I received encouraging text messages from wonderful people and heard stories of friends wanting to help me get home! And even from some brothers and sisters I did not know very well! How amazing is the body of Christ?

Again and again Pastor Gabe's sermon, from the previous Sunday, kept popping in my head. Our Lord is the Father of Mercies. I continue to get what I DO NOT deserve and it speaks so much about HIS character. He provided a way for me to get home and I was able to leave Xiamen feeling loved and encouraged, which I believe made what was to come more bearable. The plane ride over I was able to prepare myself and spent time talking to the Lord, processing and felt utterly calm.

I was blessed to get there in time to see my mom. I was able to spend about 10 hours with her before she passed. She was sedated the entire time, but when I first touched her forehead she furrowed her brow. I believe she could hear everything and knew I was there with her. Watching my dad praying, reading scripture, and openly putting his trust in the Lord was an incredible encouragement and comfort to me. The days following her passing were tough and there were times it seemed like it would never end. But still receiving support all the way from China helped keep me up, along with encouragement from my dad and believers here.

I was telling a friend of mine the other day that I have been utterly AMAZED by church family. I know there are people praying for my family, whom I do not even know, in other places, some I have been to and some I have not. And that comforts me and gives me strength. God is so good to give us fellowship and community.

Here I want to share a couple of stories of where I feel God was revealing something to me. Moments, which to me were small miracles. Some you may not even believe, but I know nothing is impossible.

A minute after she had taken her last breath I found myself sitting down feeling strangely numb. I couldn't believe she was gone and so many thoughts and questions were whirling around in my head. I latched onto one that asked "What was the last thing you ever heard her say?" I racked my brain but I couldn't remember clearly. I was aghast. I couldn't remember the last thing my mom ever said to me. I sat there staring over her body when suddenly I heard her voice, "Good bye". I immediately looked around me and at that moment my dad started to say something. "Wait!" I said. "Did you hear that?" He shook his head and said, "No. What?" I continued to look around, "I heard her voice." I told him. 

THAT was the last thing my mom ever said to me. 

The day after my mom's death I was wandering around the house feeling so low. There were guilty thoughts consuming my mind, accusations and voices of condemnation. I felt like the worst daughter in the world and could not get my mind to quiet. I stood by a bookshelf asking God to help me and I happened to see a book with a fabric covering I had never noticed before. I opened it and discovered it is a journal my mom would write in. (She loved writing and all over the house are notes, poems, and scriptures in journals, albums, and loose-leaf paper). I opened it to the first page that has writing and immediately a sentence pops out at me. She had written "We have a tricky mind. The enemy attacks your mind." Then she had written out the scriptures 'But greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.' 1 John 4:4. 'For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.' 2 Tim 1:7. I knew then that this condemnation did not come from the Lord, no, it needed to be given to Him to take away. I know He lead me to that journal to encourage me with HIS words and her words as well!

A few days later I was helping my dad in the garage. We were taking boxes into the house looking for some particular pictures of my mom. I had just finished talking to a staff member at the crematory that we chose for my mom and he was telling me the viewing would be private and we would stand behind a glass window to see her. I had said it was fine but as I was moving a box into the house I started thinking about how I really wanted a lock of her hair. I was saddened by the fact that I had to see her behind a window and wouldn't be able to get it. See, my mom had saved a lock of my hair in a small heart shaped box and I wanted to put hers in there too. I continued in this mindset as I walked back to the garage. I watched my dad open a box, dig through it and pull out a large heart-shaped box. My forehead wrinkled automatically as I immediately recognized it as a gift I had given to my mom a few years ago. I thought it was a strange coincidence to be pulled out now, when I was just thinking of the smaller box that looked like it. My dad asked what was inside as he opened it.

And this is where my heart skipped a beat.

Inside the large heart-shaped box was a braid of my mom's hair. At some point, maybe years ago, she had cut it off and tucked it inside along with the small heart-shaped box which contained my hair. God knew. He knew I would want it and He gave me what I wanted within seconds of thinking about it! How powerful, loving, and perfect He is! He has shown me over and over again that I can trust Him and rely on His strength. I can trust Him with my mom and I know the moment she left her body she was fully healed and rejoicing with her savior. Every pain that kept her from doing the things she loved, every fear, every wound, NONE of it matters. She is completely healed and full of joy and I know we will see her again.

This is just some of what God has done for me. For me, so undeserving, but He still loves me. And it is just the tip of the iceberg. I know there is much, much more even though I cannot see it now. I have learned that even in sorrow, pain, and loss there is still beauty and God's truth shines through.

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For my dear Mother

I know this is long but it is the eulogy I wrote for my mom. 

Maria Inez Munoz

3/6/1950-3/22/2013

 My mom was a very lovely woman. She spent her life on this earth, as short as it was, striving to love others. Though her life was not easy, she was always thinking of others and not herself. Not only was she generous but she was kind, patient, faithful, hardworking, compassionate... I could go on and on. I'd love to spend all day talking about my mom but since I can't, I will try to make this brief.

Growing up I saw my mom constantly reading her Bible and writing in her notebooks. Sitting next to her at church on Sundays, she would fill her bulletin with notes about the message. She loved to talk about the Lord and what He had done in her life. She tried her best to teach her children how to follow the Lord and to let us know we could always trust Him with our lives and future. All around our home she would place Bible verses for us to read. The ones I remember the most are 1 Thessalonians 5:17 Pray without ceasing and Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. But the sharing of her faith was not limited only to her family. She shared freely with others as well.

For many years she taught children's Sunday School and volunteered at Vacation Bible School in the summer. She even opened her home to the neighborhood children and taught them Bible stories and gave them dinner. She was generous with her time and resources and taught passionately and patiently. I could tell she loved what she did by how much time she spent preparing for it and I know why she did it. She loved the Lord so much, she wanted to share His love with others.

It seems as if nearly everything she did was to honor God. And she placed Him first in her life. She loved writing and all of her poems spoke of Gods love for us and she wondered at His creation. But take a look in her journals and more than her own poems she wrote scriptures from the Bible over and over again. She wrote these in her beautiful handwriting, I believe, in order to remember those words. She studied the promises and truth that God's word gives us in order to always remember them and keep them in her heart.

I know my mom had an eye for all that was good and lovely. She marveled over the beauty around her and captured it through photography and poetry. She had a great love for creativity and used her imagination to create. Along with writing poetry, she worked on arts and crafts, creating cute trinkets to decorate our home and to give as gifts to others. My mom also liked to spend time caring for flowers and plants. Her favorite flower was roses. Red roses. She loved the color red. I can't count how many times I showed her something, be it an article of clothing, a trinket or knick knack and she would say, “It's nice but do they have it in red?” I love the little quirky things she did. If I ever told her I forgot something I meant to tell her she would always say “It must have been a lie.” She liked to collect stuffed animals, especially stuffed lambs. They were her favorite because they reminded her of Jesus, for as it says in the Bible He was brought as a lamb to the slaughter. The lambs spoke to her of the sacrifice Jesus made for us. Along with lambs, my mom liked to collect rocks. Sometimes she took one from a place that was special to her. Sometimes she took it just because she thought it was pretty. She kept them around the house and cared for them.

I will miss these quirky things about my mom. I am blessed to have fond memories of her. But what I will miss most about my mom is her voice. She used to sing everywhere, everyday. Around our home, cleaning or cooking. In the church choir, or singing a solo on Sunday mornings. Her voice was lovely and she always thanked the Lord for giving her the ability to sing.

As my moms health deteriorated over the past 3 years, little by little, she had to give up doing things that she loved. But even in the sadness of having to change her life, she never lost her kindness or her spunk. She was still joyful, praising the Lord and making jokes. She really liked joking around and threatening to “give me a good one”. But it was not easy for her. She suffered from a lot of pain and we know that the Lord will not give us more than we can bear. We know that this is not our permanent home but that we are only passing through here and my mom wrote about this in one of her poems.

But the poem I want to read to you today is one she wrote about her own mother many years ago. She named this poem “My Mother.”

“A mother I don't have anymore.

She was taken away from me

but only God knows where she is.

She was like a flower I couldn't keep.

Because of her beauty she was taken away.

Like a flower that withered away.”

I had read this poem many times before and as the years passed I began to see my mom as my own flower. I greatly feared losing her but I saw in whom she placed her trust. I learned I must place my trust in the Lord as well. I did not hear my mom's words the day before she was put on life support . From my dad I heard she was still praising the Lord. She said she knew the Lord could heal her but if He didn't she would continue to praise Him and put her trust in Him. In her last days she was proclaiming that Jesus is Lord. How could she continue to praise Him through the pain? Because she held on to His promises. Promises she had spent so long studying and remembering. Romans 8:28 says And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Let's hold on to this promise. I know good has and will continue to come from my moms passing. As an English friend of mine told me “God does not waste the death of His saints.”

My mom loves God. If there is one thing I ask you to remember about this wonderful, lovely woman, it's that she lived her life to love and glorify Him. Through good times and bad she praised Him and thanked Him for all His grace and mercy. And she continues to praise Him now. I know that she is with Him and that the moment she left her body she was FULLY healed and now she is joyfully singing praises. As I look back on my moms life, I feel overwhelmingly blessed to have had such a mother.

I wrote a little entry about my mom's imminent passing and I would like to share it with you all.

3/21/2013

Thursday

I left San Antonio and my family only 3 weeks ago. 3 weeks ago I was so hopeful that her health would improve and that she would/could be close to how she was before she got sick.

Now I find myself in Hong Kong waiting to board a flight that will take me to say goodbye to her. I have no more hope for her to be well and of good health here on this earth. I have a different hope, a much more secure hope. She will pass from this life, as we all must, and in her passing she will leave behind all pain and all grief. And I am happy to know she will be with the one who has never abandoned nor forsaken her. And she will do all the things that fear and a weak body prevented her from doing. She will see, taste, and know her Savior and know that He is good. No longer will lies attempt to trap and devour her, no she will rejoice in His truth. And all of her wounds will be healed. She will dance. She will not be as that withering rose. The one who couldn't stay. That is of old, and she will be new. She will bloom again and be so dear.

And she will sing.

And one day, we will get to hear it. 

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"Just one more question." 

oh that detective...Columbo.

Remembering the original guy in a trench coat.

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Cinemassacre’s Top 10 Twilight Zone Episodes

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Clarity of Love Songs

By Jessica Munoz

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Untitled 12.30

Jessica Munoz

When life changes so quickly, He is the one constant I can lean on. In the past couple of months He has given me so many reasons to rejoice, even throughout difficult times. And He has given me joy through music and an outlet for pain and sadness as well. This is a bit of a sad song but it's my favorite.