arefallingforus-blog

[arefallingforus-blog]

Beware That The Light Is Fading (SL With @ProveILoveYou)

Star: ^Opening night was always amazing. Most drama teachers loved watching opening night. Austin wasn’t any different. He loved opening night. But his favorite show was closing night. The last performance was something that was just for the kids. They were finally settled into their roles and their nerves were gone. Because as sad as closing night was, it meant that Austin could start looking for the next play to do. The winter brought the play. As soon as school was in session, he’d be making pitches to the school about what plays he wanted to do. And getting the royalties in line to be able to put those shows on. Austin was always a step ahead when it came to the plays and musicals. He loved watching his kids put them together. And what made it better was that I was with him through everything. The costumes were mine to work with, and the kids in all of my art classes and the art club put together the sets. It was something I could do with my kids, especially if they didn’t want to be on the stage. It was something Austin and I had talked for days about. And the kids were getting ready for their last show. There were scrambles as kids went from station to station to get ready. While I had my degree in art history, I was absolutely a drama kid at heart. And the one thing I always had at the ready were my makeup kits. Each table in the art room was set up with a parent and some makeup. Each parent focused on a specific feature. It helped keep the kids from going insane as they waited for the curtain to go up. Austin’s room was the final stop before the kids were completely ready for the show. That was where I was always stationed. I had one of my smaller kits with me as each kid came through to grab their costumes. For the boys, it was off to the bathroom to quickly change and one last touch up before they were ready. The girls, it was a little harder. The girls were changed before they sat in my chair for hair and a touch up. The beauty of Into The Woods was that I didn’t have as much work with the hair. A little bit of brushing, a little bit of hairspray, and the girls were on their way. As I finished with the girl playing Cinderella, I took her hand in mine before we started for the music room. It was just off the back of the auditorium, and the best place to get everyone together. I knew Austin was going to make a speech. It was what he always did on closing night, but tonight, I wanted to beat him to the punch. As soon as I was in the room, everyone was settled onto the risers as I joined Austin in the front of the room. I let my shoulder press against his before I went back to the mask of Mrs. DeWitt. With the kids around, we weren’t affectionate. Not nearly as much as we were at home. But I wanted him to know that I was there for him. That I was always going to support him. Taking a step forward, I cleared my throat before looking back to Austin with a smile.^ You’ve done it. Tonight is closing night of Into The Woods, and let me tell you guys something. You have handled this musical beautifully. It’s a challenging piece to bring to life. And I think we can all agree that Mr. DeWitt was being a bit ambitious when he decided that this was a piece for you guys to put on at your age. But we’re both so proud of you. You never let the stress of the musical get to be too much. You guys kept in mind that this was just something fun for you to do. It wasn’t something you were graded on. Well, except for my art students. The sets will count towards your grades, but they are amazing. Each and every one of you should be proud of what you’ve accomplished. Tonight marks the end for all of us. It’s the end of the school year. For some of you, it’s the end of your time as a middle school student. You’ll be moving to another school and trying out for new plays and new musicals. You’ll be a little fish in a very big pond. But if the theater is where you’re happy. Don’t give up. You have four years to get it right. You have four years to polish your skills. To those that will be joining us again next year, thank you. Mr. DeWitt and I put everything we have into putting the show together for you guys. But the truth is that you make our work easy. You make us want to help you guys grow. You remind us of what it was like when we were your age. Which was ages ago. ^My lips curving into a smile as I think about my next statement.^ Even longer for Mr. DeWitt. He’s a dinosaur compared to me. ^I could tell I was getting a little more emotional than I wanted to. And we were down to the last ten minutes until the curtain was raised.^ Get ready for your last show of the year, guys. Have fun with it. And most importantly, cherish it. Austin: -I could only sit back and beam as my wife stood up in front of the group for her closing night speech. She was always proud of them, but I could tell from the tone of her voice that she was extraordinarily proud of them this year. Into The Woods was a hard enough production for a grown up theater troupe to put on, much less a middle school drama and art group. The sets and costumes had turned out beautifully. Hair and make-up was on point. Everything had gone like clockwork. No one had forgotten their lines or cues. It was simply magic. Star hadn’t let me get lost in the production like I could have done so easily. She’d been there reminding me to stop and eat when I needed to, forcing me to go home instead of stay another hour to work on timings and cues, not just to help with the artistic part of the productions. If she hadn’t been around I would have burnt myself out with how hard I was working on everything. I wouldn’t have had anything else to focus on. It was one of the many reasons I was glad I had her in my life. As Star faded into the background next to me, it was my turn to step up and give a little speech to the group. It was a tradition. Closing night was always when I said the most to them. - So, we made it this far without anyone actually breaking a leg, unlike last year when Tommy fell off the stage during rehearsals and wound up in a cast for the Three Musketeers. -muffled laughter settled around the room as a shot a grin at the aforementioned Tommy sitting in the front row dressed as the Big Bad Wolf. He had been a casualty of last year’s production, but he always had a good sense of humor about it.- Anyway, you guys know I’m proud of you, just like Mrs. DeWitt is proud of you all and for all the same reasons. You all put in the hard work to get here. You memorized your lines. You learned your cues and the music. It’s all been a few months of uphill battle to get here. And now you’re all veterans. Two weekends of shows under your belt, and this is the last one. This is the one where we all get to have a good time. So go out there and enjoy yourself. Have a ball, and I’m sure it’ll show out on the stage. This is all one big game of make-believe, so don’t forget that while you’re out there. For a couple of hours at least, you get to be someone else, and then you get to return to your old life just the same as you left it. I know you’re going to make me proud. You already have. And you’ve made your parents just as proud. Now don’t forget to go out there and break a leg. -The smattering of applause filled the room as I finished up and started ushering kids out of the room to take their marks for the beginning of the play. Those who came in later, took their seats in the wings to watch what was happening on stage until it was their turn to go out and take part in the show, and I took my customary place just off stage right to make sure everything went smoothly. At this point, it was mostly out of my hands. There was little I could do if something happened during a show, other than scrambling to fix something in the sound system or help Star repair a torn costume. The kids were more or less out there on their own on stage, and watching them come to life as the characters they were portraying was half the fun of this job.- Star: ^I couldn’t help but stand back and watch as Austin watched the kids. This was what he loved about being a teacher. He loved watching them do what they loved to do. He loved watching that spark come to life. It was the same thing I loved about him when he got into doing his poetry. This was what he was meant to do. There had been another thing on my mind, though. It was something Austin and I hadn’t really talked about. And I think tonight was going to be the night I broached the idea of him being a Daddy. I thought it was something he would shine at. But we both enjoyed our time together too much to bring another person into our life. But it was the right time to do it. We needed to have this discussion. Even if it went nowhere, I knew that I was telling him what I wanted us to do. The hours went by quickly, though. The kids had too much fun with Into The Woods. Especially the last showing. They took it seriously, but they knew that this was the performance for them. They could have as much fun with it as they wanted. Austin and I had stepped aside and let them have their fun. The light was in his eyes, though. This was what he wanted for the rest of his life. Just before the final act, I pressed myself as close to my husband as I dared. We were on the clock, and that meant no affection. But I couldn’t hold this from him anymore. There was no reason to hide it from anyone. Everyone knew we were together. Everyone knew we were professional to a fault.^ I love you. I am so proud of you for doing this. Austin: -I chuckled softly as Star pressed herself into my side and took the moment where everyone was distracted by the closing number of the musical to wrap my arm around her and pull her in closer. At school we were consummate professionals, but we were still human. And Star telling me she was proud of me was more than I could take as Mr. DeWitt.- I love you too, Star. -glancing down at her with a grin- Thank you for everything. You know I couldn’t do this without you. -There was no way I’d even want to try to do any of this without her. I mean I had, before she came along at least. And I’d taken advantage of the fact that I was in charge of the drama program to get to meet the new art teacher when she’d been hired. That was something I’d always admitted since we began dating. But it was more than ruse to meet the cute new teacher. I really did need her. My life had been nothing but better since I’d met her, and it had gotten even better since I’d married her. I had no idea when this was going to hit a peak, but I didn’t see it happening any time soon. We had the rest of our lives together, and I was looking forward to every minute of it whether that was at work or at home. I knew she wanted more. I wasn’t blind, and I knew my wife. There wasn’t anyone I was going to be able to do this with besides her, and with her I wanted everything. Leaning down to steal a kiss while no one was looking, before the crowd beyond the curtains broke into thunderous applause at the end of the show. It was time for the curtain call, and it would be the talk of the school if the curtains opened on the two of us snuggled up backstage. Not that that was going to happen. We were actually going to have to walk out on the stage after all the kids had gotten their chance to take a bow in front of their last audience.- Well, Mrs. Dewitt. I think it’s time we took our bows. Ladies first. -grinning as I threaded my fingers between hers to escort her out to the stage. She didn’t know I’d given the kids a dozen of her favorite purple roses to give to her as a present for the final night of the show, but I knew she’d know where they came from the minute they brought them out.- Star: ^As soon as the kids took their final bow, I was leading Austin out to the stage. I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, but when I saw our stars slip backstage, I knew something was up. But it was the purple roses that made my heart melt into a million pieces. Austin knew I loved them. The dark color would contrast to the bright walls in our office where we’d keep them. I couldn’t help the playful glare that came from me as I turned to my husband after accepting the roses. I couldn’t help but wrap my arms around his waist. It wasn’t the most affectionate thing in the world, but it was still more than we normally did. My thank you was softly whispered into his chest as he pulled me just a tiny amount closer. It was the soft kiss placed to the top of my head that was the biggest surprise. The rest of my time on the stage was a blur or confusion. Austin was doing the obligatory thank you to all of the parents. I was still lost. There wasn’t much he could do to surprise me, but the roses and the kiss had thrown me off of my game. Not in a bad way. Not by a long shot. But I also knew that it was the end of the year. We were all exhausted. No one wanted to be at the schools. The next thing we were going to go through were finals. And that was still half the struggle of getting to the summer. As everyone left the stage, I was still in a daze. There was absolutely nothing I wouldn’t do for my husband. But I always worried about crossing any kind of line when we were in this building. It was a result of us first dating. Even after being married, we didn’t flaunt our relationship in front of anyone. One day I was Miss Dawson, then next I was Mrs. DeWitt. There was no explanation needed. And it wasn’t one I gave. As we stood in the hallway to the music room, I turned my attention to the man that was always on my mind.^ Took a step out of the zone we created tonight, didn’t you? Austin: -chuckling softly as I glanced over at Star holding the roses in her arms on the other side of the hallway. I gave her a grin that I knew she’d recognized coming a mile away- I have no idea what you’re talking about, Mrs. DeWitt. The children merely wanted you to have some flowers tonight, and I happen to know your favorites. And if you mean the kiss… -grinning even wider as I walked across the short expanse that separated us to give her hair a gentle tug- I guess I couldn’t help myself. You looked too good to avoid backstage. I promise to go back to being a good Mr. DeWitt now that the play is over. It’s just… -my expression softened now that I looked down at her standing only a few inches away- I couldn’t have done this without you. I know I said it before up on stage, but I mean it. You’re the reason I’m able to keep everything together. And I can’t imagine what my life would be like without you. I needed you to know. -I couldn’t help pouring my heart out to my wife, seeing her stand there with those roses in the empty hallway. It wasn’t like I did this every day. We worked together, we ate lunch together whenever we could, and I’d steal a kiss off her cheek when all the kids had gone home for the day if I could manage it. Other than that, things were strictly work related here. I just couldn’t not kiss her after everything she’d done to make my idea come to life. My attention got drug elsewhere when I heard my phone go off in the back pocket of the jeans I wore for the night. Knitting my brow as I pulled it out to see a number I didn’t recognize, I flashed the screen to my wife who shrugged when she wasn’t immediately able to place it either. Sliding my finger across the screen before I brought it to my ear to answer the call was the last thing that felt normal. Everything sort of slipped into slow motion at that point. I registered every word they were telling me, but it was all like some kind of bad dream I couldn’t figure a way out of. My sister’s name came out of the receiver and into my ear, along with the word accident. There were apologies and the name of the closest hospital to where she lived. And for a moment I was in denial. This conversation wasn’t happening, and whatever this guy on the other end of the line was telling me wasn’t true. My head was all just some kind of a buzzing noise, and I had to lean up against the wall to keep from just falling to my knees right here in the hallway. Star had no idea what was actually going on, but she was concerned. The only things that could come out of my mouth were a series of Okays that told the officer I understood what he was trying to tell me. My brain was registering what the words meant, but nothing else really. And when the other end of the line went dead as the call was ended, I could only sit there dumbfounded for a moment before I was able to string any words together.- Star: ^He was just staring at his phone. And I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t know how to help him. But I knew that something had happened. This wasn’t a phone call of the good variety. And as the color washed out of Austin’s face, I could only grow more concerned. This wasn’t my husband. This was someone who had had the life ripped out of him. I could feel my hands start to shake as I reached out to him. There wasn’t much that could terrify me this way, but I could see him falling apart. And Austin didn’t fall apart that way. Not in the middle of a school hallway. And not so quickly after being on a high. Instead of taking his hand, I settled myself into his line of vision. I needed to know what was going on. I couldn’t help him if he didn’t tell me what was going on. I wanted to help him. I needed to help him. Forcing my way into his gaze, I noticed that the usually bright blue eyes that belonged to my husband had darkened into a storm. It wasn’t the good kind of storm, either. This was the kind where he had too much on his mind. It was the look he got when he got too deep into his work and felt like he couldn’t find a way out. It was a look that always chilled me to my bones.^ Austin, you have to talk to me. I need to know what’s going on. Don’t start the process of shutting me out. Let me help. Austin: -I could feel myself shutting down. Star wasn’t wrong. She was never wrong, but I didn’t know how to find the words to tell her what had happened. My head was all a buzz. Nothing would cement itself together in anything like a sentence. It wasn’t something I was used to. My life was words, but words didn’t feel like they could explain any of this. Marian… My parents had named her after a character in my favorite Disney cartoon, Robin Hood. They’d let me pick the name even though I was only five years old. I swear if she was a boy I’d have named her Little John or Friar Tuck. Even if she was younger than me, she was always one of my best friends. All of that could run through my mind, and then there was this final thought. She was gone. There weren’t going to be any more of the 2 am phone calls when she couldn’t sleep and just wanted to talk. There weren’t going to be any more nights where she sat across the kitchen table playing card and taking shots of tequila until she passed out on my couch. Not that those things had happened very often since her kids were born, but they were forever part of the things I associated with my sister. Things since she was married and a mom had settled into Saturday mornings where she and the kids dropped by the apartment and the two blonde monsters she gave birth to crawled all over me and Star while we snuck them candy when she wasn’t looking. My thoughts immediately went to those two. The call had only been about my sister; I had no way of knowing what the status was with the rest of her family, and I immediately felt my heart jump into my throat. My voice was hoarse as I tried to reply to Star. She needed me to pull it together, at least enough to tell her what was happening. I needed to get to the hospital, and there was no way I was going to be able to drive myself there unless we wanted another set of accidents on our hands.- My sister… -I took a deep shaky breath and looked down at her trying to collect myself- She was in a car accident. She didn’t make it… -I choked on a sob when I said the words out loud that I’d barely allowed myself to think before now. The only other words I could get out my mouth were the name of the hospital and one more sentence- I don’t know about Cody or the kids. -Her husband and children went almost everywhere that she did. This time of night the chances that they were all together were high, and I didn’t want to think about the possibilities of losing all of them at once. I leaned back against the wall to try to catch my breath and keep myself from collapsing to the floor because my legs were shaking, and I didn’t trust them to hold my weight any longer.- Star: ^I hadn’t seen Austin break down like this ever. But this was Marian and Cody we were talking about. And it didn’t escape my notice that he didn’t mention Cody or the kids. But I knew the truth. If the cops were calling Austin about Marian, there was no way that Cody made it. They’d have called Cody first. It was that, or Cody was still in bad shape. I could see Austin’s knees starting to buckle as I moved across the width of the small hallway. My arms were around him in no more than a second before he had me wrapped tightly against him. I had wanted to tell him that this was all a dream. But I knew I couldn’t. My voice was soft as I pulled back to look at my husband whose heart was breaking.^ I have to run back to your room. I need my bag and your keys. ^I could feel the reluctance in Austin’s arms as he let me go. But I didn’t waste time. I may have been in heels, but I started sprinting from the art hallway to Austin’s room. I didn’t want to waste time. There was still the question of Cody, Blake, and Jane. I didn’t like the odds we were facing, though. I knew as well as Austin did that Cody and Marian rarely went anywhere without Blake and Jane. The probability of them being involved in the crash was high. And it wasn’t a probability I wanted to think about. I released a soft breath as I looked around Austin’s room. There was makeup everywhere, hair supplies scattered around the desks. But tonight wasn’t the night to worry about it. I knew the truth. Austin was going to have his hands full for a while with everything that had happened tonight. I was going to be the one responsible for handling all the work stuff. And that was fine. I would do whatever he needed me to do. Grabbing my bag, I made sure Austin’s keys were stashed in there before turning around to go back to him. And I found him right where I had left him. But this time, he was crouched down against the wall with his head in his hands. I knew the truth. This wasn’t going to be easy for him. He was going to fall apart, and he was going to need me. But he was going to try and shut me out. He’d save me from feeling pain, even if it meant adding more pain to his chest. Leaning down, I took his hands in mine and gently pulled on them until he was standing. I needed him to know I was in front of him. He had to know that I was always going to be by his side. There was nowhere else I wanted to be.^ Let’s go to the hospital. See if we can get the full story, okay. Because I know you’re broken up about Marian, but we need to find out about Cody and the kids. Austin: -I didn’t move for the maybe five minutes that Star was gone, except to slump back down the wall when it felt like my legs couldn’t hold me up anymore. Something inside me was broken, and I wasn’t thinking straight. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to think straight again if things were as bad as I thought they might be. I could hear her shoes in the hall against the tile floor, and I knew she was all but running full tilt to get down there and back again. Even so, it felt like hours before I felt her hands against mine. I let her pull me back up to my feet because I knew I needed to walk. I needed to make it out to the car and find out what happened to the rest of them. There was going to be a lot to take care of in the next few days, no matter what happened, and I knew at least some of that was going to fall onto me. I just needed to know about Cody and the kids, especially the kids. - Okay… Okay… I know. We have to go. Please tell me you’re driving. -Everything kind of went into autopilot while I let her lead me down the hallway. I knew she answered, and I was pretty sure she told me she was driving, even more certain when she fished the car keys out of her bag and got in the driver’s seat. I didn’t know what happened, but a million and one scenarios were whirling around in my head. None of them really mattered til we got there and figured out what was going on.- #BewareThatTheLightIsFading

[arefallingforus-blog]

And All I Find Is You (SL With @ProveILoveYou)

Star: ^Being professional was one thing. Being professional while working in the same building as your husband had the tendency to get a little dicey. But somehow, Austin and I handled it. It wasn’t like we could go around kissing each other whenever we wanted. We knew the rules. The kids couldn’t see us being affectionate. It wasn’t a hidden fact that Austin and I were married. The kids tended to love it. It was a question I got asked every year. “Mrs. DeWitt, how did you and Mr. DeWitt meet?” It was a simple answer. We were both artists. It was two different kinds of art, but artists appreciated each other. It didn’t matter the platform. I used paint, charcoal, chalk, or anything I could get my hands on to get out my pictures. Austin drew his art in words. It wasn’t exactly something he liked to talk about. And I never elaborated to the kids what kind of art he did. We knew the lines at work. We spent time together when we could. Lunches were usually spent in here just because it was easier. We could be alone and just talk. The door was always open if we were together. It was better to have the door open than to have questions about what we did later. And it worked for us. Most of the time, we had working lunches. There were plays and exhibitions to set up, and we spent most of our lunch periods discussing what the next project was for the two of us. People wondered how we did it. How did we work in the same school? It was easy. We saw each other for lunch. The rest of the day, we were handling our responsibilities. We both were heads of clubs, and both of us had plenty of projects to keep us busy. Lunch was a nice break. It gave us time to decompress before going back to the stress of the school day. We were both happy. On days where he had club meetings, I’d either sit on the stage and play with the piano, or I’d have my colored pencils and drawing pad. If I had a meeting, he was in the art room typing away at the computer or grading papers and tests. We cherished the time we had together. But, at the same time, we knew when we needed space. As long as Austin knew that I was there for him, he could have all the space he needed. I was the one he came home with, I had nothing to fear when he was lost in his head. All I could do was be there for him when he was ready to talk about what was going through his head. Pulling my blue hair off of my neck, I let my head rest against the back of my chair. It was right around that time in the school year when Austin came to me asking if I’d help with the musical. Technically, it was his responsibility. He was there to make sure there were no problems, but he liked having my help. Costumes and scenery were always my projects. It was a way to get my kids involved if they wanted to be. Especially my more shy students. It let them be a part of the production without them having to get up on stage. I was almost surprised he hadn’t dropped by to ask. I wasn’t even sure which musical he was doing this year. If I knew Austin, it was going to be something along the lines of West Side Story. But there were still a million and one choices out there. I had tried to talk him into Les Mis, but he looked at me with a raised brow. Maybe if we ever got to high school. Les Mis was a little much for a bunch of Middle Schoolers. My eyes ran to the clock as I let out a groan. There was about half an hour left of lunch, and I was still sitting here on my own. It wouldn’t be the first time Austin got caught up in his head, and I knew it wouldn’t be the last.^ Austin: -one look at my watch was all that I'd needed to know that time was slipping away from me faster than I'd dared to imagine it would have. I'd had every intention of making my way to Star’s Classroom as soon as the bell rang, but life had a way of getting me off track. That and the distractions in the form of a twelve year old who couldn't quit asking why about everything that came out of my mouth. And before I knew it, half of lunch was gone. It was the worst time of year possible. Everything was coming at me a million miles an hour including kids. I always managed to do this to myself, got so many balls in the air that it felt like one of them was going to drop if I took my attention away from it for even a moment. But somehow I always managed to make it through without dropping a single ball. As much as I might complain about it, I loved it. It kept me from feeling old even when I was three times the age of the people I surrounded myself with on a daily basis. Not a lot of people understood me or how I could be happy with teaching English and drama to a passel of drooling, pubescent children who were far too distracted by themselves to manage to pay attention to anything else. Or how I could spend my spare time between grading and sponsoring the drama club and the school newspaper just writing. It was a good thing my wife wasn't a lot of people. She got me on all the levels that no one else did. She was an artist, and she knew my passion for what I wrote they way I understood hers for the paintings and sketches that littered the office we shared at home. She was a teacher, and she knew the way the light in a kids eyes when they found something that resonated with them made every moment of the in between worth it. I was older than her by a good 8 years. And the kids liked to tease us both about being Mr. and Mrs. DeWitt. It never ceased to amuse them to observe that we arrived and left together every day or when they finally realized the first few weeks of their first year here that we were married and didn't just have the same last name by accident. The questions were cute, if repetitive, and mostly directed at Star, so I could pretend to be clueless about it all when it suited me. Hurrying down the hall until I walked in through Star’s Classroom door, sandwich in hand as I noted her expression and the time before I slid into the chair across from her- Sorry, Joey MacPherson wouldn't leave me alone until I explained to him why the word weird wasn't spelled W-I-E-R-D if it's “I before E except after C” for the millionth time. I know I'm late. -Truth was, it wasn't the first time I was late. It wouldn't be the last. And Star was going to be patiently waiting for me just the same. As much as I knew that, I also knew I didn't want her to think I was taking her for granted. My free hand reaching out to trace a line along her paint stained index finger- So, I picked the Spring musical for this year. And you know what I'm going to ask. -I looked up at her hopefully, knowing she loved the spring musical as much as I did even if she didn't always care to admit it- So, tell me you want to help with the set and costumes, and I'll tell you which play I picked out. -laughing softly as I threaded my fingers between hers. Working with my wife wasn't hard. She was my best friend and had been since soon after we met. Technically I was part of both the Art department and the English department here because of my weird class load. The first time I saw her across the room at a department meeting, her hair had been purple, a deep amethyst, and I knew I had to get to know her better then and there. I was lost before I ever knew I'd been found. I was also trying to find a way to tell her I was doing Into The Woods with the kids this year. The costumes and scenery for that one were something else, and I'd half picked it so she could go nuts making her own fairy tale world- Star: ^I could only shake my head with an indulgent smile as I picked up the salad that had been sitting on my desk. I wasn’t sure where Austin was going with the musical, but if he was asking for my help first, I knew it was something half for me.^ I haven’t denied you of my help in the entire time we’ve been here, Mr. DeWitt. I’ll do whatever I can to help. You need me to help with the costumes and the set, than I’m yours. ^The fall play and the spring musical were his babies. I knew that, and I was still going to help him with it. But I couldn’t help but notice the teasing smile on his lips. My brow raised in a question as I watched him put his sandwich in his mouth.^ You’re kind of killing me with suspense, Austin. Austin: -raising my own eyebrows in response as I glanced over at her with my mouth full of ham and white bread, letting a playful expression pass across my face as I tried to talk with my mouth full of lunch, knowing it was going to drive her crazy until I told her. I had the script in my back pocket but I wasn't showing her for a minute. I was secretly hoping to hear her squeal when I finally pulled it out but I was keeping that to myself for now. My voice muffled by the mouthful of sandwich I had taken- Well, I mean… I don't have enough life insurance on you to kill you yet. -laughing as I lean back in my seat and glance across the table at my wife and the expression that flits across her face like she wants to punch me square in the jaw or tackle me and and torture me by poking me in the ribs until I spill the beans. I stick the sandwich in my mouth one more time, leaving it there to free up my hands to fish in my back pocket for the script and toss it on the table in front of her with a wink. Grabbing the sandwich and taking a big swallow as I grin over at her- Well, what do you think, Mrs. DeWitt? Star: ^I couldn’t stop the squeal that slipped through my lips as Austin threw the Into The Woods script on my desk. I knew it was going to be labor intensive for costumes and set design. But I loved the challenge. I could already see everything in my head. The costumes were going to be one of a kind. But it was a challenge I was excited to take on. I couldn’t stop myself from getting out of my chair to hug my husband. The art club was going to be just as excited to work on the set as I was about the costumes. My arms were around my husband as I tried to keep my excitement at bay.^ I’ve already got stuff going through my head. You realize I’m going to be designing everything when we’re home, right? ^It was rare that I ever brought work home. It was the plus to being an art teacher. Most of the projects stayed at the school. I didn’t have to drag everything home to grade. At night, Austin would work on getting his grading done while I painted in the office. Even with past musicals, I worked on costume design while Austin was busy running rehearsals. The school was used to me being Austin’s second in command when it was play season. It was why they never bothered to ask if he needed a co-chair.^ When are you setting up auditions? Next week? ^Squeezing him one more time, I returned back to my chair to finish the salad that had been forgotten with the announcement. Turning my attention back to the bowl of greens, I let out a soft laugh.^ You just made the art club’s day with this project. It’s not going to be easy, but they’re going to go nuts with it. Austin: -I couldn't help but grin when Star squeaked and jumped out of her chair to wrap her arms around me. We didn't do too much in the way of public affection around school. It was the place we drew the line about working together. Here we were Mr. and Mrs. DeWitt. At home, it was something else entirely. But that didn't stop me from trying everything I could to make her smile during the work day, like walking through her class and dropping a bag of skittles on her desk in the middle of the day when I had a free period. They were her favorite candy and I was probably the reason they were stocked in the vending machine in the teacher's lounge. This had been my pet project for the last couple days, getting final approvals from the school board and principal and making sure the auditorium was free on the date I'd chosen. I had everything lined up before I ever said a word to my wife. She told me I'd made the art club’s day, but I knew I'd really made hers. And in the end, that had been my goal. Being a teacher was hard enough, being married to a teacher was arguably harder, doing both was a double whammy. And any way I could make things lighter or happier for her, I would.- I'm glad you like it, Mrs. DeWitt. -grinning as I went back to eating my sandwich- I thought you'd enjoy going nuts with costumes and the set design, and your kids can just get creative and let their imaginations go. Plus, I get to cast one of the hairy eighth graders as the Big Bad Wolf, and it's not every day I get to say that. -laughing hard- I think next week will be perfect for auditions. Star: ^Glancing at the clock, I felt myself groan. Time always seemed to fly whenever I had Austin in my room for lunch. It was a double edged sword. But I knew it was our reality. We found a way to make our relationship work. In truth, it could have been much harder. Shoving the plastic Tupperware back into my bottom drawer, I grabbed the sketch pad sitting on my desk and started drawing without paying too much attention to what was around me. The only thing that mattered was Austin. I could pout and throw a fit, but there was no point. We had chosen this. My voice was soft as I kept my eyes trained on the paper in front of me.^ Are you going to take a break from writing while the play is going, Mr. DeWitt? ^I knew the answer to the question. It was the same every season. He’d say he was going to step away, but it was something that relaxed him. It was what kept the stress from eating him alive. At night, we’d curl up in the office. I’d start drawing or painting, and he’d be as close to me as possible as he either wrote or watched me. As much as I tried to get him to not pay attention to me, I secretly loved how fascinated he was. It made me feel adored.^ It won’t last long, by the way. You need the words to keep you from ripping those dirty blond locks out. Austin: -I watched her grab a sketch pad, knowing there were only fifteen minutes or so left in the lunch period before we had to head off and take care of our next classes. She asked, but I knew what was going to happen as much as she did, judging by her answer. I couldn’t help but laugh softly as she glanced up with that coy expression from her pad when she told me it would keep me from ripping my hair out. She wasn’t wrong. This job was stressful on a good day. On a bad one, it could consume you and turn you into something like a troll. I needed to write, to get my thoughts out on paper. Some nights I just sat with the notebook in my lap and just doodled around the edges of the paper, unable to turn my thoughts into words. They just came out as jumbled swirls and dots of color in the margins of the words that eventually came. Poetry, prose, something, anything. I had to get it out. More often than not, they were about her. It was hard for me to tell her sometimes. I wasn’t the best speaker. On paper, I sounded like a poet, but paper was easy. At least it was easy for me. Much easier than speaking, and explaining the proper use of a semicolon to a bunch of sixth graders was completely different than telling the love of my life that my fingers could read her skin like braille and find the story of our lives written there in flesh and soft curves of bone beneath. Others were about daily life, the colors in the swirl of coffee and creamer at five in the morning when all I wanted to do was crawl back into bed, or the way the inside of one of my old books smelled like a familiar friend. Maybe I was odd. Maybe I always had been. I liked to think I had a poet’s soul, the one that led me to see beauty in everyday things, and to always have a slightly skewed view of the world.- You know me. I’m going to swear off it, but that will last… -stroking my chin with a wink- maybe a few hours. -laughing softly- You bring that design you’re working on home, and I’ll probably write after grading papers this evening. -I knew our time was growing short, and I couldn’t help myself. I grabbed the bag from my sandwich to toss it into the trash and walked my way around to her side of the desk, leaning over her shoulder to see what she was drawing. I knew it was one of the million ideas that was probably swirling through her head for costume or set design, but I was curious. I loved watching her work, and I brushed her hair back behind her shoulder to get a better view, letting my fingers linger against the skin at her throat for just a moment longer than necessary.- Star: ^I could only tilt my head to the side as Austin let his fingers rest against my throat. Here, at school, it was all about hidden and lingering touches. That was generally as far as we were willing to go. It had worked for the three years we had been married, though. Were there times I wanted nothing more than to push him down onto the desk and just ride him? Of course there were. And with our age gap, there was a small need to be a naughty student for him. But we were professional when we were in this building. There was no other way we could be. With the last few seconds of peace, I reached into my desk drawer to pull out a handful of peanut butter cups I kept in there for these occasions. Flipping Austin’s hand away from my neck, I dropped the chocolates into his palm. There were plenty of times that Skittles would work their way into my classes. May it be through Austin himself, one of our students handing them to me, or them appearing on my desk. But the truth was, I knew that it was Austin. He was responsible for my bad habit, just as I was responsible for his.^ The Art Club meets tomorrow after school. I’ll give them the heads up that the musical will be announced next week. I’ll give them the option of jumping onto the stage crew team to help with sets and lighting. Do you want me at auditions or do you want to handle that yourself? ^My lips were curved into a smirk as I asked the question. We both knew the truth. Even if he didn’t want me in auditions, I was going to be there. It didn’t matter if he wanted me there as co-chair or just his wife. I was going to be sitting either next to him or in the back of the auditorium making notes as I sketched. This was what he had gotten himself into, though. And he knew it.^ Austin: -laughing as she fills my hand with peanut butter cups, I can’t help but peel the wrapper off one of them and pop it into my mouth. Both of us were guilty about indulging the other’s bad habits, but it was our way of saying that we loved each other without a touch or a kiss. Teaching was a strange world at times, middle school even stranger than normal, and we had specific sets of rules we had to follow while we were at work. A quick glance at my watch told me I only had a few seconds before the bell was going to ring. Reaching out to tweak her nose with a grin before I grabbed the last of the stuff I’d brought into the room with me.- You better be sitting right next to me during the entire thing. I know you’re going to have an opinion either way. At least this way I get to smell your perfume to cover up the cloud of Axe body spray coming off the middle school boys. -laughing as I back my way to the door shooting my wife a wink- See you in a few… Star: ^It felt like a blink of an eye before Austin was off and down the hall. But that was the reality of our situation. We made it work. I hated him leaving, but I knew the truth. This was what we had to deal with. As students started filling the room, I couldn’t help but listen to the soft laughter from the kids. “Mrs. DeWitt, did Mr. DeWitt just leave?” I guess it was going to be that time when everyone wanted to hear the story again. I couldn’t stop the smile that played across my lips, though.^ Yes, Megan. You are all familiar with the fact that we’re married and have lunch together when we’re able to. ^The soft giggles from the girls and groans from the boys told me all I needed to know. This was far from the lesson, and I needed them back on track.^ I’m not going into it again. You all know I met him when I started working here. I told you guys the story earlier in the year. Get your materials, and back to your projects. ^Once the kids were focused again, the day seemed to rush by. I was lucky to have a free period at the end of the day. I always hung around in my room for Austin, though. Today was a day where we both didn’t have a club meeting after, so we could just go home. And home was where I wanted to be. I was done with being the professional where I could barely touch my husband. I needed to kiss him, feel him. I needed to be reminded that our professional lives weren’t everything. I had gotten so wrapped up in drawing one of Cinderella’s dresses that I barely heard the soft raps on my door. Turning around, I saw the principle standing there. Throwing the drawing down on the desk, I turned my attention to her.^ Mrs. Dawson. Please, come in. Have a seat. ^I could hear the soft laughter come from her lips as I started to focus on what was going on around me. The last period was almost over, and I knew I needed to start packing up. “You’re entirely too formal, Star. You know you can call me Laurie. But that’s not why I’m here. Has Austin discussed the play with you?” I could only nod my head as I looked back at the sketch on my desk.^ Of course he has. He told me today at lunch. I was just starting work on costumes. I’ll probably start set designs after the auditions next week. ^The smile that lit her face told me a lot. I figured this was about finding another co-chair. I knew that Austin loved running the show, but he always had me to help. “So you’ll be running it with him? You’re not going to make him do it alone?” I could only laugh softly.^ You know as well as I do that he’d do this on his own if he could. But yes. I told him I’d be beside him for auditions. I’m going to enlist help from the art club with the sets, and I’ll be responsible for costumes like we’ve done every year since getting married. My club knows they’re more than welcome to participate in whatever way they feel comfortable. The plays are always a joint production between the drama and art clubs. ^”Do you think Austin is being a little too ambitious here?” I thought about the question. And to a degree, he was. But I also knew the truth.^ Honestly, Laurie? If he didn’t think the kids could handle it, he would have picked a different play. He has faith in his kids. I have faith in the art club to get the sets done, and you know the costumes will be impeccable. If it gets to be too much, I’ll step in and tell him. But I have faith in him. ^As the bell rang, Laurie just nodded her head. She knew I wouldn’t let him drive himself mental. We both knew where the lines were for this. With a simple goodbye, she was off. Quickly packing my bag, I started down the hall towards Austin’s room. It was the end of the day, and I was ready to go home.^ Austin: -I’d been waiting for the ringing of the bell since I’d walked out of Star’s room at the end of lunch. It wasn’t that I didn’t love my job, but it was that time of year when I was most definitely ready to go home at the end of the day. I pulled the messenger bag that held my laptop and a stack of papers I needed to grade over one shoulder, cut out the lights, and walked to the door after the last of the children walked out into the hallway, half-running towards buses and cars in their hurry to get home. It was Friday, the weekend was looming, and I was as ready for it as the kids. Star was already halfway down the hall when I walked out of my door and locked it behind me. And it was second nature to slip my arm around her shoulders when she met me at my door and we continued on our way down the hall towards the faculty parking lot just outside the building. I was ready for this. I was ready to stop being Mr. DeWitt the English teacher and Mrs. DeWitt the art teacher and to start being Austin and Star. As much as I loved my job, I loved being at home with my wife even more. Even if we were just curled up on the couch watching TV or her sketching in her place on the chair in our shared office while I was working at the desk. It was just nice to be the two of us.- So, how was the rest of your day, Mrs. DeWitt? -I grinned and held open the car door for her on the passenger side of our car, waiting for her to slide into the passenger seat before I moved to drop my bag in the backseat on the way around the car. Going home was my favorite part of the day, the part of the day when we could drop the rules and facades that being a teacher came with and just relax into who we really were. Settling into the driver’s seat meant I could thread my fingers between hers for the first time in hours and finally feel like I was able to relax.- Star: ^I could only roll my eyes as he called me Mrs. DeWitt. There was no denying that I was. But we were outside of the school walls. As soon as he was in the car, I leaned over the middle console and pressed my lips to my husband’s. I needed to remind him that this wasn’t just what we were supposed to do. We didn’t have to play by the rules anymore. We could go back to being Austin and Star.^ I got harassed for you being in the art room during lunch by the kids. ^I couldn’t help the soft laugh that slipped through my lips at his soft groan. I knew Austin was as private as they could come. He hated discussing much of anything about us with the kids.^ I didn’t tell them what they didn’t already know, Baby. ^I thought about the next words that I needed to say. I couldn’t hide the conversation with Laurie from him. There was no reason to hide from him. He needed to know everything, because it wasn’t just Laurie that was concerned for him. I always worried that he was taking on too much.^ Laurie stopped by my room today and officially asked me to help with the musical. She wants to be sure that you’re not taking too much on. I told her if you started to stress out, that I’d step in and make you calm down. Austin: -I couldn’t help but grin against Star’s lips as she leaned into take a kiss before I put the car in gear and headed out of the driveway and into the street. We didn’t live far from school. We’d picked our apartment so we didn’t have to commute half way across the city to get to work every day. That and because Star had fallen in love with the light. The drive was thankfully short. I heard her start talking about Laurie, and I could just imagine the expression on my boss’s face when she came in concerned. Was I taking on more than I had to? Maybe. But was it more than I could handle? Probably not. I had Star to help me, as much as I wasn’t going to rely on her, she was also going to be there for me, even if I didn’t ask her to be. - Promise me something? -I glanced over at my wife as she raised the eyebrow I knew she was going to raise when I said that. I could call her reactions, and I knew she was going to agree with what I was about to ask. She nodded her head slightly, and I couldn’t help but grin- Kick my ass if I become an asshole about all of this. Remind me it’s a middle school play, and as much as we both have big dreams, in the end, it’s most important that everyone has a good time. -I needed that. I could get wrapped up in things sometimes. I could punish myself into oblivion and just drive myself crazy if I thought things weren’t going the way they should. I held myself responsible for things that were out of my control, and the only person who was able to get me out of it was Star.- Star: ^It was no time at all that we were up in our apartment. I wanted to lecture Austin on not taking on too much. I wanted to remind him that he wasn’t doing this alone. He never had to do it alone. But he tended to take on the I am an island mentality when it came to the musical. I absolutely wanted to punch him when he got in over his head. Austin had a habit of shutting himself off when opening night got close. And even towards the beginning of the entire production. Right after auditions when he needed to choose roles for everyone was hell for me. There was almost nothing I could do to get him out of his head. This time things were absolutely going to be different. He had picked this specific musical for me. I was going to force my opinions on him if he wasn’t listening. This was as much for me as it was for the kids.^ You know I am not going to be afraid to take the entire show from you, right? You decided on this show knowing I’d make myself have a voice. If you get out of control, I will absolutely take it from you completely. ^Shrugging my coat off, I hung it on the rack by the door. There really was so much that I needed to do with this show, but I would absolutely take over for Austin if I needed to. He needed to remember that this wasn’t just for him. This was supposed to be fun for the kids. It was supposed to be fun for us. It wasn’t meant to stress us out. Relaxing into one of the chairs in the living room, I just took a breath to relax. I knew what I was walking into with the play. I knew the monster that was about to be living in my house. But I also knew I had tamed that monster long ago.^ Don’t go overboard and we won’t have a problem, kay? Austin: -She wasn’t wrong. I tended to get lost in my head, and when I got lost, I was very insulated. I got in the mindset that the only person I could rely on was myself, and I would let myself drown in the project. That was half the reason I’d chosen this. Into the Woods was a gift for her. But it was also the surest way to make sure she would kick my ass if I took on too much and got myself in too deep. That was one of the many things I loved about her. I was too intellectual for my own good sometimes. Even when I wasn’t doing a play, I was writing. It was a stress reliever, but it was also a place I could lose myself for good or for evil. It would have been easy for me to stay lost in my own little world and let the rest of the world pass me by. She had been the first thing that had ever made me want to be present in the real world as much as I wanted to get lost in my own head. She was the anchor that kept my feet on the ground when I needed it, and the wings that kept my heart in the clouds when I needed that, too. She could kick my ass when I got too caught up in my own ego then turn around and drag me up out of the hole I put myself in when I felt like nothing was going right. Moving to drop my computer bag on the couch close to the door as she shrugged her coat off her shoulders, hanging it on its familiar hook at the same time she threatened to kick my ass if I went overboard. It brought a grin to my face, and I couldn’t help myself as I wound my arms around her body from behind, crushing her back into my chest as I tightened my embrace around her midsection, resting my chin against her shoulder- Yes, ma’am. If I go overboard you have permission to slap me back into at least the level of common sense I have right now. I know I’m going to need you for this. I need you for everything… -turning to drag my lips across the shell of her ear as I spoke. This was what I missed during the day when we worked together, where we had to Mr. and Mrs. DeWitt instead of Star and Austin, but here in our apartment, we were free to be as stupid and in love as we wanted. Despite the fact that I was supposed to be getting old at 36 and she was only 28, she never failed to make me feel like I was 18 instead. I couldn’t resist trailing a line of kisses up along her throat to where her jaw met her ear with a soft chuckle- Star: ^I could only roll my eyes as I felt Austin’s lips move along my neck. His words were exactly what I knew was coming. It was the end of the week, and we were finally allowed to just be Star and Austin for the next three days. There was no putting on the face of Mr. and Mrs. DeWitt. We could just be. And that was something we both cherished and held dear. We had been together for almost five years. We had gotten married three years ago, though. Austin wanted to make sure I was okay with the age difference. He needed to make sure that I was always going to be beside him. Even if he was seven years older than I was. Even though I was nothing but a very young woman. He needed to make sure I wasn’t going to bail on him when times got hard. Our relationship was anything but normal. I didn’t attribute it to the age difference, though. I didn’t see him as a man that was almost 36. I didn’t like to acknowledge the fact that I was only 28. It had nothing to do with our ages. It was all about our life experiences. We were both artists, though. And sometimes, the art turned us into people we didn’t recognize. And that was okay. But at the beginning of our relationship, it had made us unsure of how to deal with the other. I didn’t know how Austin would react when I tried to push him away. Depression and body image issues had been a huge fight for me since I was a teenager. There were times when I couldn’t see what anyone else saw in me. I was just a miserable excuse of an existence. So I pushed Austin away. I did everything I could think of to make him not want to be with someone that had those problems. But the truth was that he held me tighter, pulled me closer, refused to let me go. He taught me that it didn’t matter how I saw myself. I could hate myself, but he was still going to love me. He was going to hold me until I was better. And we never had to actually talk about what was bothering me. He didn’t care, he just loved me. He wanted me to be okay. He gave me a reason to fight the depression. Shaking my head, I needed to let the fog go as Austin tried to distract me from everything going on around me. It was the time of the week where we could become absorbed in each other. We didn’t have to focus on what we were doing tomorrow. We didn’t have to make lesson plans for the week. We could go back to worrying about that on Sunday. When the realities of the situation sank back in. Wrapping my arms around Austin’s neck, I pushed myself closer to him. I needed to feel myself pressed up against him. I needed to feel him this way. I just needed him.^ I love you. I’ve needed you since the moment I met you. Nothing could ever change that. Austin: -Sometimes, I thought that Star didn’t know how much I needed her. She was always so very insistent that it was she who needed me, while I was convinced it was the other way around. Maybe we needed each other. All I knew was that life was better with her than it had ever been without her. I’d been surviving, but not exactly living. When she drew herself closer to me, I knew what was running through her head, even if she didn’t. She’d been thinking about how at first she tried to push me away, and how I, the stubborn ass that I was, had hung on for dear life instead. I knew I needed her from the beginning. My arms curled around her body even more tightly, holding her to my chest as leaned my forehead against hers, fingers moving gently along her spine. I couldn’t get her any closer at the moment, as much as I might want to. And I couldn’t stop myself from smiling as I moved in to press a kiss against her lips this time- I love you too, Star. To the moon and back. Don’t ever forget that. -It was our usual back and forth, the words we told each other when we knew we needed to know how much we cared about each other. There was comfort in the repetition, in the knowing that, no matter what, nothing was going to change the way one of us felt about the other. It was what our whole life here was built on. A whim hit me, and I didn’t even try to slow myself down as I moved to scoop her up into my arms and carry her back into the office space we shared, curled up in my arms- Now come on, Mrs. DeWitt. I’ve been waiting to have you in my arms all day. Star: ^This time, hearing him call me Mrs. DeWitt was different. There was a very specific connotation with it. It was as if Austin was flashing back to the moment I married him. The moment he allowed me to be Mrs. DeWitt. The day that we truly became each others. This was something I loved, though. I loved being reminded that I was his. Against everything else, I did actually belong to him. There was nothing that was going to change that. We never threw around the possession in a bad way. I never felt controlled or abused when he said I was his. In truth, I said he was mine as much as he said I was his. It was something we loved doing. Austin held a piece of my soul that no one could ever touch. I wasn’t willing to let anyone touch it. It was the only thing that belonged solely to him. My words were almost a soft whimper as my hands played with the hair at the back of Austin’s neck^ I’m yours, Mr. DeWitt. And in your arms is where I want to be. #AndAllIFindIsYou