aquamarinest

[aquamarinest]

[aquamarinest]

[aquamarinest]

☁️this year i will rest more

💭this year i will worry less

💅🏽this year i will set boundaries

🌿this year i will prioritize healing

💓this year i will love myself more

🧸this year i will prioritize self care

🩹this year i will prioritize my feelings

🪷this year i will be more kind to others

🌸this year i will be more kind to myself

🫧this year i will make time to enjoy myself

🧿this year i will remove toxic ppl from my life

🎀this year i will make my happiness my priority

[aquamarinest]

tesschung on ig

[aquamarinest]

[aquamarinest]

small ways to look after yourself in grad school:

🪸 try to stick to an eating schedule. Sitting down to eat, setting time for tea and snacks during your day will keep your energy up and you will be able to deal with whatever life throws your way. This advice goes to the top of the list because no one can work on an empty stomach.

🪸 do the things you want to do. You might be tired or anxious at the moment but do them anyway. If you find yourself not wanting anything much these days, look for things that briefly catch your attention or follow a stray thought. Often times we have to do so many things we don't want to do and that saps our energy. To balance out your personal energy, also do the things you want to do.

🪸 tackling classes, ta-ships, part-time jobs, a thesis is hard work. Take days off. Take sick days off. Take self-care days off. Look after yourself, the degree is simply not worth your health and peace. Your life cannot go on without you. It will be alright no matter what.

🪸 do something creative. Can be something small, but something only for your eyes and ears. Do it your way. Do it the way you want to. Play an instrument, sing, paint, write. Your academic writing will get a lot of feedback that will sap your creative energy and put you in a bad mood. I'm sorry, I wish it wasn't that way. But art, on the other hand, can be as free as you want to make it to be.

🪸 take a walk, go for a drive. Just for the drive or walk itself. Connecting with your environment reminds you how small your problems are in the grand scheme of things and shows you that you can actually solve them. Notice things. A nice wave, an elegant swipe of feathers, a cat sitting by the sun.

🪸 talk to a normal person. Funny thing about spending so much time on campus will be that it will warp your perception a lot. That is because you're among people of a particular type of intellect all the time. It's good for fixing your perspective to just talk to a normal person. An old lady at the grocery store, a child in the park, your neighbours, the shopkeep -just strike up a conversation.

[aquamarinest]

MARIAH CAREY as BILLIE FRANK GLITTER (2001) dir. Vondie Curtis-Hall

[aquamarinest]

[aquamarinest]

fvlyacelik

[aquamarinest]

Networking/Knowing A Guy: A Guide

This is the autism website. Now, as an extension of the power of love and friendship, there are few things more useful than Knowing A Guy. Knowing A Guy means you have a support network. Knowing a plumber, or a tax accountant, or just that one dude that's really fucking good at finding the information you need when you're really overwhelmed, can be the difference between being able to pay rent and having a fun party with friends to fix your shit.

How does one end up Knowing A Guy? It's a skill you can develop called Networking and it is one of the foundations of society. Unfortunately making those connections with people is fucking hard and nobody makes a tutorial for it. So, here you go:

The golden rule is you scratch my back and I scratch yours

It is necessary for survival to seek out useful people

Great news! Everyone is useful in some form or fashion - including you! When given the opportunity to learn about someone, do it! Extroversion does not come naturally to some people and that's okay. Just take whatever falls in your lap.

Types of usefulness: trade skills, connections of their own, personality you jive with, pleasant to talk to, niche interest in shared hobby, security - the list is pretty much endless. I know a guy that lives in the metro area - no job, no major hobbies, inoffensively annoying to me personally, kinda ignorant, not attractive to me, but you know what? He knows how the fuck to get around the city by foot. My rural-raised ass APPRECIATES the guide.

Remember important information: general personality, background, skillset, likes and dislikes. You can find this information by making smalltalk about their life. There is no such thing as pointless conversation. (Yes, even the annoying smalltalk)

The more people you know, the higher the likelihood that one of them will be useful in a given situation - or will know someone who is.

It is overwhelming. In a given clique/community/workspace/whatever, there is A Guy Who Knows The Other Guys. This Guy is a shortcut. Find them. They're often elderly, extroverted, a little bit annoying, a secretary or in some otherwise forward-facing position. Look for people that are gossipy/talk about other people a lot but not in negative ways. If they constantly talk shit, they'll talk shit about you too. They're still useful but be careful with the information you share

You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.

You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.*

If you have low self esteem, you're going to feel like you're using people. You're not. That's the devil talking. People like feeling valued and the connections you are making are the threads holding community together. Recognize people for their talents. It's only a problem when you're taking advantage of people

So: don't feel scummy about it. You're an animal. You have to claw out your right to survive and people will respect you more for it.

Luckily mutualism is the name of the game in the animal kingdom. Offer something back. The foundation of a Know A Guy relationship is Mutual Benefit

Sometimes that Mutual Benefit is just spreading news of the The Guy far and wide. My plumber friend is my actual friend and I love her to death, but I'm maintaining our backscratch relationship by pimping out her plumbing business to anyone that'll listen

Food is a good Mutual Benefit. People across cultures for all of human history have bonded over food. I have good success asking people for a favor and then offering to buy them lunch in return **

General compensation is also good. Offer a service in return and always do your best to offer financial compensation as appropriate. Having your plumber friend take a look at your drain: doable with a case of beer. Having your plumber friend redo the pipes in your entire house? You need to pay for that.

Being transactional is not necessarily a bad thing. I would advise against keeping an itemized list of things owed, but fish don't seek out cleaner shrimp just because they enjoy their company. Everyone gets something

Unfortunately being extroverted and generally personable is a huge benefit here, but that's the value of the Guy That Knows A Guy. There's someone out there that has consolidated All The Guys so you don't have to be the local expert. Always remember nobody can do everything and you don't need to master every skill

* This is the foundation of a functioning community. I have many acquaintances that I find incredibly annoying. They include doctors, welders, artists, social workers, lawyers, construction crew and random fuckers at the grocery store. I do not hang out with them. I do not have to in order to maintain a civil Know A Guy relationship. I can drop them useful tidbits and fuck right off so I don't have to spend any more time than necessary with them

** People may assume romantic intent. Be prepared for that. I generally denote that it's a friendly/work lunch by calling them bro at some point if they're my age. Otherwise my general demeanor is sufficient to show that I do this with everyone

Source: personal experience, mother's teachings of crime, booth vending and poverty

[aquamarinest]

the.beau.studio

[aquamarinest]

thefunkyflower

[aquamarinest]

i cannot hate myself into a version of me i will love.

[aquamarinest]

the sad ghost club

[aquamarinest]

[aquamarinest]

the summer of ‘24

[aquamarinest]

♡ 2 0 0 3 ♡ ten years later and you still know all the words.

01. lose yourself - eminem // 02. bump, bump, bump - b2k & p. diddy // 03. in da club - 50 cent // 04. get busy - sean paul // 05. crazy in love (feat. jay-z) - beyonce // 06. shake ya tailfeather - murphy lee, nelly, & p. diddy // 07. stand up (feat. shawnna) - ludacris // 08. hey ya! - outkast // 09. magic stick (feat. 50 cent) - lil’ kim // 010. get low (feat. ying yang twins ) - lil’ jon & the east side boyz // 011. milkshake - kelis // 012. work it - missy elliott // 013. never leave you (oh-ooh) - lumidee // 014. right thurr - chingy // 015. where is the love? - black eyed peas // 016. suga suga (feat. frankie j) - baby bash // 017. fighter - christina aguilera // 018. 03’ bonnie & cylde (feat. beyonce) - jay-z // 019. cry me a river - justin timberlake // 020. underneath it all - no doubt // 021. frontin’ (feat. jay-z) - pharrell // 022. can’t hold us down (feat. lil’ lim) - christina aguilera // 023. me against the music (feat. madonna) - britney spears // 024. excuse me miss (feat. pharrell) - jay-z // 025. rock wit u (aww baby) - ashanti // 026. the way you move (feat. sleepy brown) - outkast // 027. the jump off (feat. mr. cheeks) - lil’ kim // 028. ignition (remix) - r. kelly // 029. gossip folk (feat. ludacris) - missy elliott // 030. scandalous - mis-teeq

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