aproudofficer

[aproudofficer]

adeadmonarch:

I’ll let you in on a secret! Bring ice chips. Or order them?

If nothing else maybe he’ll just start flicking them at you and that’s a win, right? It’s technically teasing and that means he doesn’t hate you. 

I mean I know your skillsets didn’t really pair up too well for our end-goal but, like, Matt managed to kind of befriend him? And I’m pretty sure that guy gets spooked by his own shadow sometimes. 

...Charlie, we weren’t exactly buds before.... Y’know...

I can give it a try.

But if I go missing.... I’m just sayin’, question him first.

[aproudofficer]

adeadmonarch:

[( He grinned and let himself get pushed back. )]

The curse of being tall, I guess. Stuff wafts up right? 

Seriously though, you should try. Think of how much we’d all benefit if every last one of us was just the closest of friends. I mean, we’re friends. I’m pretty sure any of us would die for another if it came down to it, but really– Can you imagine yourself hanging out one-on-one with An’? 

I’m picturing it...

Aaaaaaaaand--

All I’m seeing is Anders and I sitting there in silence a respectable distance away sipping on our individual drinks, Charlie.

[aproudofficer]

adeadmonarch:

My ass has been on his chopping block more times than I think you realize, buddy. 

L-liiiiike uh– remember? When I used to get reprimanded a lot? Next to you?  And here I am, cracking weird jokes at him without dying. 

You just need to stop being scared of the big angry stare on his face.  [( leans in )] I think it’s stuck that way

[STIFLED LAUGH]

You have... No idea how hard it was to not laugh during some of those, man...

[Alright, alright. A hand pushed Charlie gently away by the face as he cracked a wide smirk.]

I think his nostrils are just lined with something rancid and it gives him permanent stink-face.

[aproudofficer]

adeadmonarch:

Are we not coworkers, you and I?

…

You could text the Commander! You know, more than just food orders or asking if he wants anything from the store. 

That’s different nowadays, and you know it--!

....And... You try joking with him with the glares he still gives me....

[aproudofficer]

adeadmonarch:

In-jokes with girls? 

Trying to explain it would just be weird, y’know? 

....

At least you have coworkers you can talk to.

[aproudofficer]

adeadmonarch:

Y’know, weird things. 

In jokes with coworkers

The basics

What the hell kind of in-jokes are two awkward for me to read....?

[aproudofficer]

????

What kind of stuff are you sending?

One of these days I’m going to accidentally miss-text someone and it will send to Brian and I’ll have a lot of grief thrown my way. 

Friends are the worst people to send the wrong text to. They never let it GO

[aproudofficer]

adeadmonarch replied to your post: The weirdest thing about being in the 21st century...

OH BUDDY DO I FEEL THIS

“Check out this latest video game system!”

That thing is in a MUSEUM SOMEWHERE.

[aproudofficer]

The weirdest thing about being in the 21st century is suddenly seeing things, pristine and new, that I’ve only seen old and as restored as they can manage in a museum or old study files.

[aproudofficer]

youngestsnart:

      Yup, Len’s kid sister. Can’t arrest. It’s totally, like a rule.

It’s gonna be a real rough awakening for you when you wind up arrested, huh...

[aproudofficer]

youngestsnart:

Mmhmm. Sure, right. Of course you aren’t. You guys fight like a married couple, ya know.

And Charlie isn’t on a team? He works for Lenny?

Or, y’know--like brothers.

What are you talking about, Charlie and I worked together for ages. We were a team. Whole handful of us.

[aproudofficer]

youngestsnart:

      But I’m like, too adorable to arrest?

Is that how that works? I must have missed the communicator ping.

[aproudofficer]

adeadmonarch:

Serves you RI– 

[( Hic. 

And now there’s a dog nose pressing under his arm to force it up to lift, popping it up to his forehead as a cold nose went RIGHT to his jaw and oh god, no, he’s dying for several reasons now. Where is Randy? Randy???  He’s a Manly Adult of 32 Years Old and he’s absolutely choking and cry-laughing as he attempts to roll away from both Brian’s downed form and the dog that now thinks they’re playing. Crap crap crap–

Oh that’s the coffee table. RIGHT to the shoulder. And now he’s down, nearly crying into the carpet as he shakes and laughs. )]

[Brian eventually calmed back down and regained his breath. His face was red, though, and he still felt a laugh bubble up here and there.

Charlie, though... Charlie looked a mess. He couldn’t remember the last time either of them had laughed like this. He pushed himself to his feet and extended a hand down to his friend.]

C’mon, get up, giggles.

[aproudofficer]

youngestsnart replied to your post: I thought you and Charlie were like a thing. Are...

You sure? You really really sure? [Oh, this is great entertainment.]

I’m positive--

[Another wheeze of laughter.]

I’m also pretty sure there’s rules about in-team dating, anyway.

[aproudofficer]

adeadmonarch:

YOU DID THIS. 

[( That’s what he’s aiming for. What came out was closer to ‘You did thiCK’. An arm flopped over his eyes as he faked another sob. Dead. Dead. He’s dead. Toss his corpse in another timestream because he’s done. )]

I hOPE he gets Japanese so you can choke on boba

I would TAKE choking on boba over hiccups like those--

[He was mostly speaking to the carpet at this point. When Boomerang jumped off the couch to check on an apparently-sobbing Charlie, however, those front paws came down directly on Brian’s back and springboarded off. It knocked the air out of him with a wheeze.

God, it hurt to laugh without air.]

[aproudofficer]

adeadmonarch:

Nooo—-!

[( Oh no, gentle friction carpet burn. He didn’t need that on his elbows too.  Charlie flopped on his back once Brian pulled all limbs back to himself and starfished out, breathing slowly coming back to normal as Boomerang trotted back over to the duo, giving each a sniff before hopping on the couch and taking over half. 

Breathe in. Sloooowly breathe out. 

Hiccup. FUCK )]

Brian hELP– I’m st [( GOD )] -Arving and dying

[Yeah, yeah, he was calming down... He even managed to give Boomerang a small, solid pat on the side. Hey, buddy. Where the hell did you drag the pillow off to?

Then, he heard the hiccups.

He doubled over again, losing his grip on the couch. Once again he wound up laying on the floor and clutching his stomach as he laughed.]

FUCK, CHARLIE--

[aproudofficer]

I thought you and Charlie were like a thing. Are you not a thing? Then you gotta help me horrify Charlie. I haven't done it in awhile and I'm bored.

[Nope. Nope, he’s gone. His face is against the bar as he wheezes with laughter.]

Are we a--

What--

No--!