apocryphalwriting

[apocryphalwriting]

never forget the universal rule of the order of things: People Will Not Read It

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[apocryphalwriting]

[apocryphalwriting]

touch starved.

a word i had often heard being passed around in my circles. i knew the oxford definition that described it. i “knew” the concept.

but knowledge is not experience.

you can know things you haven’t experienced like space travel, cardiac surgery, childbirth. you can’t long for something you don’t know about- naturally, i lack examples here because i don’t know what i don’t know.

for this precise reason, i knew what the starvation of touch meant but i didn’t understand it, until i was touched lovingly, with intent, with admiration, and with a desire to not be abandoned again, by my friends.

despite having been in romantic relationships, i’ve only experienced this platonically. my family are not a fan of physical affection either. i give it, but it is not returned.

but god, is the feeling all-consuming. something that bites into you in the most delicious of ways, makes your joints crumble into gunpowder, digs crescents into your brain.

i can’t physically see my friends often now. we have lives we need to look after. but i miss the gentle calmness of their hands on my back, the way their nails would scratch my scalp in the winter sun, the way my skin would be covered in lipstick stains in random places.

(i discovered one on my ear as i went to shower one night after a long day at college. precious.)

it’s safe to say that now that i know, i long.

and because i long, i write.

[apocryphalwriting]

[apocryphalwriting]

"i'm in love with you," she blurts out, the words tumbling out like crimson on white snow.

no. no, no no no. "you shouldn't—"

her fists clench at her sides, a frown creasing her mouth. "stop telling me what i should or shouldn't do! i'm my own person, ajax, you have to stop ordering me around." her eyes flash. perhaps it'd be a little more intimidating if she were a smidge taller. "or is it because you don't like me the way i do?"

i catch her wrist before she can step closer, fighting the familiar urge for the feel of a bone crushed beneath my hands. i can't hurt her, not her, anyone but her. is this not precisely why she should stay away from me?

"it's not you, sweetheart. i'm a bad person—"

"stop saying that!" she twists free of my grasp and swats my arm away. "you're not bad. you're misunderstood. they made you out to be the villain, the enemy—"

"sweetheart." a beat. she pauses, cheeks aglow in candlelight, nose crinkling the way it always does when she's frustrated. "i've hurt people. i've killed people. i've blackmailed, stolen, manipulated, tortured innocent people for a cause i didn't even think twice about. i've left more bloody entrails in my wake then i've ever left goodness."

i can see her struggle, conflict clear in her eyes. even now, hurt and perturbed, she's a vision of loveliness—an image someone else deserves. "but i've seen you with your sister. i've seen you with the maids' children, the horses. you care about life, ajaxter, all that happened in the past isn't your fault—"

"i meant it." i'm close before i know it, inches from her face, breath hovering over those pretty lips and angel eyes. is it anger or desire that makes her chin tilt up? does it matter? "and for the record, i enjoyed it."

the words are like venom on my tongue; i let them linger in the air, hissed, sinking into the space between like blood on a faultless carpet.

i enjoyed it.

a second longer is all it takes before she pulls away, gaze grief-stricken, shaking her head as she slowly backs away.

she'll never look at me the same.

but that's what i wanted, isn't it?

that's all i deserve.

[apocryphalwriting]

[apocryphalwriting]

Hi I'm Ghost.

I've just started this blog to be a place to focus more on my original writing projects. I may also sometimes post art related to my projects.

If you post about writing, fiction analysis, book reviews, art, nature, monster / character design, or are otherwise just a cool person I would love to follow you. Please like/reblog or otherwise interact with this post so I can follow you.

Thank you!

[apocryphalwriting]

Life is really just returning back to yourself over and over and over again.

[apocryphalwriting]

oh ok

[apocryphalwriting]

[apocryphalwriting]

Emergency Update

Hello! Sorry to bother you, fellow Tumblr User. Your shoelaces look great today.

I come bearing an update on another emergency financial situation that appears far more urgent than my own. Much like my partner’s situation that I shared recently, this user is in a financially and emotionally abusive household, potentially even with the risk of it escalating to physical now that the election results are in. Please help them out if you can, as the household they are attempting to make it to is quite literally the only one safe and stable enough for them to recover and live in.

Reblogs for reach are greatly appreciated.

[apocryphalwriting]

A writer friend told me something that broke my heart a little bit today; they're going to quit publishing their fanfic.

My instant thought was that they had been trolled or attacked or that something terrible had happened in their life because this person is so passionate about their writing. It wasn't any of that. Engagement with their works has been going down, as it has for many of us. Comments are like gold dust a lot of the time, and just looking through the historical comment counts on old fics on ao3 demonstrates this trend very clearly. It was not simply the comments dropping off which caused them to decide to stop posting, however.

My friend came across a discord server for their fandom (I should point out here that their fandom interest and mine diverged a couple of years ago, we stay in touch but don't currently read each other's posts because I'm not into their fandom and they would rather gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon than read anything Star Wars) and specifically to share fic in that fandom. They joined, because we all love a good fic rec, only to discover that their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.

This discovery has absolutely destroyed my friend's love of sharing fic. They share because they love seeing other people's enjoyment, and fic writers do that through comments and kudos/reblogs/likes because we don't get paid. There is no literary critic writing a blog post/article about how amazing the story is for us to copy and keep/frame. There is no money from royalties. All we have are the words of the people reading our works.

Those people on that server could have taken five minutes of the time they spent gushing about how amazing my friend's story was to other people and used it to tell the one person guaranteed to want to hear that praise how much they loved it. They could have taken a moment to express their opinion to the person who spent hours upon hours plotting, writing, editing, and posting those chapters. Instead, they deprived my friend of thing that keeps them sharing their writing, and in the process have killed their love of it. My friend now feels used and unmotivated.

I won't be sharing a link to their fic, they said I could share their experience but not their identity. I know they plan to post one final chapter. I know they intend to express their hurt at being excluded from the praise for the thing they created, and I know they intend to announce that as a consequence they will not be posting for a long while, if at all.

So please, I beg you, don't hide your love of a story from the writer. It's just about the only thing we have.

[apocryphalwriting]

I’m curious, given the length of time I’ve had my own online moniker:

Please reblog for sample size!

[apocryphalwriting]

Writing Notes & References

Alchemy ⚜ Antidote to Anxiety ⚜ Attachment ⚜ Autopsy

Art: Elements ⚜ Principles ⚜ Photographs ⚜ Watercolour

Children ⚜ Children's Dialogue ⚜ Childhood Bilingualism

Character Quirks ⚜ Cruise Ships ⚜ Dystopian World

Culture ⚜ Culture Shock ⚜ Ethnocentrism & Cultural Relativism

Emotions: Anger ⚜ Fear ⚜ Happiness ⚜ Sadness

Emotional Intelligence ⚜ Genius (Giftedness)

Facial Expressions ⚜ Laughter & Humour ⚜ Swearing & Taboo

Fantasy Creatures ⚜ Literary & Character Tropes

Fight Scenes Part 1 2 ⚜ Kill Adverbs

Food: Cooking Basics ⚜ Herbs & Spices ⚜ Sauces ⚜ Wine-tasting ⚜ Aphrodisiacs ⚜ List of Aphrodisiacs ⚜ Food History

Genre: Crime ⚜ Horror ⚜ Fantasy ⚜ Speculative Biology

Hate ⚜ Love ⚜ Kinds of Love ⚜ The Physiology of Love

How to Write: Food ⚜ Colours ⚜ Drunkenness

Jargon ⚜ Logical Fallacies ⚜ Memory

Magic: Magic System ⚜ 10 Uncommon ⚜ How to Choose

Moon: Part 1 2 ⚜ Related Words

Mystical Items & Objects ⚜ Talisman ⚜ Relics ⚜ Poison

Realistic Injuries ⚜ Rejection ⚜ Structural Issues ⚜ Villains

Symbolism: Colors ⚜ Food ⚜ Numbers ⚜ Storms

Thinking ⚜ Thinking Styles ⚜ Thought Distortions

Compilations: Plot ⚜ Character ⚜ Worldbuilding ⚜ For Poets

all posts are queued. will update this every few weeks/months. send questions or requests here.

[apocryphalwriting]

this is why being religous and a bad person is so wild to me. you have your god, who encourages you to love and be lovable, and yet

[apocryphalwriting]

quick are you mythologizing sex again? are you making it seem like a special category of human behavior rather than just a thing people do? are you forgetting that it can be silly or fun or simply pedestrian? are you forgetting that it requires conversation and negotiation just like every other human activity that involves other people?