ap05t1e
ap05t1e
EMBRACE THE BRACH
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ap05t1e · 1 year ago
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as a spriter for pokemon infinite fusion can I have the honor of putting you into the game as a Pikachu/mimikyu
you MUST put me in your game!!!!!
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ap05t1e · 2 years ago
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He’s been getting away with it for years. No one on the crew has caught on yet.
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ap05t1e · 2 years ago
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🌸 Happy Easter! 🌸
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ap05t1e · 2 years ago
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ap05t1e · 2 years ago
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So I found this CD on the street today on my way to work, right? So I decided I’d bring it home and listen to it.
And it was the best decision I’ve ever made in my life.
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ap05t1e · 2 years ago
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Congratulations!
You reached the bedrock after u scrolled ur feed so deep.
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ap05t1e · 2 years ago
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Fun fact: We know the size of the Pokémon world because Scarlet and Violet has framerate issues
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ap05t1e · 2 years ago
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I can’t believe Aperture actually had a god damn play place/daycare type shit and naturally it couldn’t look less safe
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ap05t1e · 2 years ago
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love that this caused so much controversy the thread needed to be locked. over chicken sandwich
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ap05t1e · 2 years ago
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bc the old-Discord from Gen 5 look to me a lot like something straight out of a Don Bluth movie
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ap05t1e · 2 years ago
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my hearing has been aided and holy shit is this how you guys hear all the time
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ap05t1e · 2 years ago
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ap05t1e · 2 years ago
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Untitled.
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i made a comic in google slides for some ungodly reason
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ap05t1e · 2 years ago
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So in Goblin Squad D&D yesterday, our Barbarian had just… the stupidest, DUMBEST, most terrifying, absolutely godlike thing happen to him.
This is a story of numbers, but it’s still beautiful.
We were fighting a dragon.
The dragon is hopping around while the Barbarian is just racing around trying to catch up to her
Dragon finally decides, no, really, fuck specifically THAT ranger and goes hog fucking wild on me (I LIVED!) but holds still long enough for the Barbarian to finally rage and LEAP ONTO HER BACK and go STAB
Dragon sees this and goes, “Oh. Sick.” 
and just goes VERT
Pro: I am not tanking anymore
Con: She instantly moves FOUR HUNDRED FEET STRAIGHT UP INTO THE AIR…. with our  raging Barbarian holding on for dear gottdamn life
One round later, she’s another 160 feet up, still getting stabbed by a Barbarian who has somehow held on, now getting attacked by ballistae and we’re all starting to get CONCERNED
Because if they take that dragon down, that is 560 feet our Barbarian is also falling out of the sky, and he is not attuned to the ONLY THING WE HAVE that can save his fucking life from that height
I’m sitting there doing math, trying to determine if 560′ is enough to kill him outright, silently being very grateful we still have exactly ONE diamond to rez his ass
and the dragon just goes VERT again, ANOTHER four hundred feet in the air
The Barbarian, now finally free from any potential collateral, cackles, as he is at long last, unshackled by the restraints of his conscience.
He has a tattoo, you see, which allows him to cast Fireball once per day
centered on himself
with a save which he autofails
But he is a tiefling.
And this fucker still has 160 hit points by the time it’s done exploding. But the explosion sends him backward as he fails the Athletics check to continue holding on and he begins to fall.
He falls for 3 fucking rounds and we can only watch our friend fall to his certain death.
The DM… has to roll ninety six d6s
let that number sink in for you
NINETY. SIX. D6s. They normally roll with real dice, you can hear the clickety clack through the discord, but  they had to get out a fucking app for this because they do not OWN ninety. fucking. six. d6s.
It comes out to 402 fucking bludgeoning damage he takes on impact as he leaves a Barbarian shaped crater in the center of the forum, 10 feet wide, 5 feet deep, a cloud of dust and broken brick shooting out as he lands.
And do you know what happens next?
Do you know what the fuck we see as the dust settles?
We hear a cough, and a see a thumbs up come out of the crater. 1 hit point left.
402 damage. Raging as he landed, halved to 201. He had 160HP left, it only brought him down to -41, not enough to kill him outright (you have to get equal to negative your max HP), AND HE’S LEVEL 12, which means he has access to Relentless Rage: the first time you’d drop below 0 HP, if it doesn’t outright kill you, you have to roll a Con save of 10 or higher to instead drop to 1 HP. He rolled an 11.
He fell almost a THOUSAND feet from the air off the back of a fucking dragon, took NINETY SIX D6 FALL DAMAGE, AND LIVED.
His arena name lived up to the hubris of this fucking swan dive. All hail ALTANIN, THE UN-FUCKING-BREAKABLE
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ap05t1e · 2 years ago
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Do you ever lie awake wondering how the heck Gimli knows what a nervous system is
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ap05t1e · 2 years ago
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ap05t1e · 2 years ago
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i will take with me the concept of them glowing their mouths whenever they are about to do the Ghostly Wail.
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