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Li-Young Lee, "A Hymn to Childhood" // Spn (2005-2020)

Sam and childhood for #stevanaweek

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@spnhiatuscreations​ | favorite episode ↳ swan song (5.22)

No doubt – endings are hard. But then again… nothing ever really ends, does it?

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haha. yeah

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Lake Mungo (2008) // Spn (2005-2020)

Sam and feeling like a freak for #stevanaweek

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yellowstone national park, 1982

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Franny Choi, from “How to Let Go of the World,” in The World Keeps Ending, and the World Goes On [ID in alt text]

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I’m sure of it.

Sam + physical touch for #stevanaweek

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is goncharov (1973) really that much less real than whatever show the destiel bloggers have been watching with their extrasensory perception for 15 years

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“demon dean should’ve killed sam” demon dean should’ve POSSESSED sam. it would’ve done far more psychological damage to both of them

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mopeybby.png

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I suppose, at some point, we must simply make a leap of faith.

Supernatural + The Sparrow, Mary Doria Russell

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okay sam winchester discussion hours NOW do we remember how the mark of cain was such a big deal for dean and outside of being dean winchester’s sexiest arc it was also a big deal!! for sam!!! who was trying his damndest to get dean not only back but also fixed right it was a whole thing.

well this is where the writers fucked up (surprise) because the solution to mark of cain demon!dean was literally inside sam the entire time!!!! this could have been the resolution to the entire powers/demon blood thing!!!

because. because because BECAUSE. what would sam winchester think, when he sees his brother gladly proclaim he’s a demon and go out murdering and hurting people for funsies, and when he’s not even sure if the demon cure will WORK because with crowley it had to be the purified blood from the trials and whatever u know, that whole thing. WELL!!! I’ll tell you what panicked, upset, and desperate sam winchester would think. h i m s e l f. he’d remember that there is one sure thing that he knows of that can hurt and control demons. himself.

and he’d lie in his room and angst about it like his dean before him, obviously. but it’d be sam! having memories about what the demon blood did to him. remembering ruby almost fondly. and he’d do that shaky breath and make his little sam noises. and he’d walk out one day, find himself a nice seedy bar. find himself a demon making deals. probably some random woman because it’s spn. and he’d go to town on her. just. i mean all but drain her you know.

and sam would basically go on like this for a while. it’d go unnoticed mostly by cas, because we’d see it from his pov a lot more. every now and then he gets a call from sam asking if he’s heard a word on dean. everything’s chill. cas shows up at the bunker and sam’s out. sam comes back very energized. sam has also been exorcising demons with his mind again. he’s sooo much better than he was in s4. he snaps and the demon dies, saving the host. sam can control demons’ actions with his mind. sam is powerful. his eyes go over black for a bit every now and then.

and so when sam finally does find dean. and they have their fight. dean is getting the upperhand, sam’s on the ground, eyes wide with that same pitiful look that sam has mastered when in trouble. and suddenly dean hunches over in excruciating pain because sam has his hand out and is essentially crushing the demonic soul in him. dean gets a little laugh in, comments on something about sam going darkside whatever.

and it’s different this time, mostly, for sam. mostly because he doesnt have ruby insisting he do one thing or another. and his endgame is getting dean back. and so this way dean is incapacitated, sam is able to get the demon cuffs on him and get his brother back into the bunker. 

and then comes the confrontation in the bunker. dean gets the jump on sam and sam just slams his brother back away, with his powers. and sam’s been juicing up this whole time still, you see. because his new plan is to essentially squeeze the demonic force out of dean. he has no idea what repercussions this may have but this is what he’s got. and he’s got faith in it because sam could once overpower the father of all demons. he can do this.

and so sam is there on one end of the hallway and dean is on the other end. sam is going ghost so hard his own eyes have blackened over and he’s just. really going for it. dean is pressed up against the wall and there’s black smoke seeping out of his pores and his eyes and his ears. it’s like he’s burning, too, except there’s no fire. 

eventually, dean stops struggling. the smoke stops seeping from his body and dean collapses onto all fours. he’s panting, he’s tired. sam is on the other end, on the ground, passed out. dean is immediately returned to his usual self-hating, guilty self and is on sam in a second and dean’s hurt, dean is crying because he’s aware of what he made sam do, he made sam get the demon blood.

sam would recover, and it’d be the whole deal of detoxing and everything but it’d come back and they’d eventually have a discussion about it where sam says he sorta knew that he always had it in him. he could always Be that guy. and dean would say some self righteous shit about there being another way and sam would say something like he didn’t have time to research another way. he wasn’t sure anything would even work and this was a for sure thing. because dean is sam’s responsibility as much as sam is dean’s. sam had to fix this issue with his brother for the world, for dean, and for himself. dean would say something in argument and sam would snap back that dean went to hell for sam. dean would snap back that sam did, too. and sam would argue that sam took lucifer out for the world. and this he did explicitly for dean. like how dean went to hell explicitly for sam. and sam would simply insist that he is and always will be more than prepared to follow dean into the dark if it means saving him. 

dean would get quiet. and surprise it would result in the next few days that. well. sam ingested. wayyyy too much demon blood. so now he’s just kinda telekinetic. and it doesnt even have to be a huge thing. he can literally be matilda. that they’re off until he feels enough intense emotion like when he opened that closet door. bing boom bang bong youre fucking welcome eric kripke

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demons meme: (1/6) quotes ↳“Lucifer is the father of our race. Our creator. Your god may be a deadbeat. Mine—mine walks the earth.”

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Kenneth Rexroth, from Sacramental Acts: The Love Poems; “On What Planet,”

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geoffrey hill “broken hierarchies: poems 1952-2012″ / supernatural “dark side of the moon”  

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“Deanna, what did you do?”